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"Best [blank] of 2003"

Hey, let's do one of those nostalgia posts like what the BBC do, only without Stuart Maconie, Kate Thornton and Bobby Davro! If I could be bothered to add it all up, I'd probably find that the last year has seen me spend more money on pointless crap like CDs and DVDs than ever before, so let's have your best movies/music/books/games of 2003. Keep it sweet.

Best Film
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Tough one. Even though I'm probably biased because it's the last movie I saw at the cinema, I'm gonna say Return of the King. It had everything - huge battle scenes almost endless in scope, wonderfully subtle CGI and the kind of epic storyline you don't get from Hollywood blockbusters these days. A definite winner.

Also-rans: Finding Nemo is the best kids film I've ever seen (yes, better than Transformers the Movie). Roger Dodger is one of the slickest indie films I've seen for years, with a great central performance from Cambell Scott and another lovable rogue to go in the gallery. The Matrix movies deserve a mention just because they made me excited about movies (even if they were slightly saggy round the middle) and Punch Drunk Love made me feel different about so-called Romantic Comedies. Kill Bill, just because. I could reel of dozens of others, but these are the only ones I can think of off the bat.

Let Down: Terminator 3 wasn't awful, but it was no Terminator 2. Talk to der hand, guv'na.

Best Album
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It's a toss-up between Kings of Leon and The Strokes. In fact, Youth and Young Manhood probably sticks its neck out due to the fact it caught me completely by surprise, whereas I knew the Strokes album would be ace. Pure, good old fashioned southern-style rock and roll, played with real feeling and soul. The White Stripes could learn a lot from these tached freaks.

Also-rans: Muse's Absolution was so hard-hitting I was winded for several hours after hearing it - massively entertaining operatic rock with no equal, plus not so much of the squealing and piano jerking this time. If Coldplay's album came out this year then that deserves a mention, if simply for providing good, melodic tunes that stick in your head. The Yeah Yeah Yeah's album was alright, bit too squawky and lo-fi for me and there's countless other hip-hop albums I've bought and loved to mention here.

Let Down: I bought and loved the first two Basement Jaxx albums, and was indifferent to the third. Blur's Think Tank got tired quickly (I could just picture Damon Albarn's socialite mates all sitting round his coffee table, screeching "Oh, how 'bohemian' Damon") and both the Cooper Temple Clause and Black Rebel albums were crud compared to great first singles.

Best Book
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Can't exactly remember how many books I read this year (clue: you could count them on two hands) but the one that really stayed with me was Glamorama by Bret Easton Ellis. I know it's not a new book, but it's my list, so up yours. A wonderful story about a high-flying socialite called Victor and his jet-setting life, until Ellis twists the knife and sends him into a dark world of murder and terrorism that I totally didn't see coming. Kept me gripped until the last page, and afterwards too.

Also-rans: Chuck Paahallahahalaniuakalalak books make me smile, and Choke was probably the best of the bunch. Rules of Attraction passed the time too, even though I'd already seen the film.

Let Down: Hmm, I normally won't finish reading a book if it's crap. I didn't finish Less than Zero, so let's say that.

Best Game
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Despite most of my playing time going to Halo on Xbox, it's not this that takes the crown. No, Top Spin on Xbox has provided me with the most laughs, most thrills and most curses and it was only released about 6 weeks ago. It's not just any old game that makes me forget I've got Pro Evo Soccer 3 gathering dust on the shelf. A reason to get broadband and Xbox Live if ever there was one. Still makes me swear like a Tourettes.

Also-rans: Project Gotham is getting me hooked as we speak, and I super-enjoyed Knights of the Old Republic, although I guess I'll have to play it through again on the dark side to truly see how masterful it is. Tony Hawk Underground is wicked (although lack of Live play sucked) and Pro Evo 3 kept me busy for a while. SSX 3 also made me go \o/ for a little bit.

Let Down: Metroid Prime? Couldn't get to grips with it at all. I'm sure I wasn't doing it properly and there was buckets of action around the next corner, but it bored me to tears.

Best Single
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Again, a close one, this time between the Cooper Temple Clause's Promises Promises (gargantuan bassline mixed with a rasping chorus) and Beyonce's Crazy in Love. The lady wins, although it has to be said, the video didn't do her any harm.

Best Telly
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24 kept me interested from start to finish, and unless something miraculous happens in the next 3 days, it'll have been the only series I've watched all the way through. Inventive, exciting and unpredictable.

Okay, I lost interest near the end but that's because I had some dinner. Now you go.

foreskin.

I'm trying to think of a foreskin joke that is subtle enough to work, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist.

Now you've got it. Intelligence to the fore.

2003, 4, 5 and 6?

Too easy,my friend.

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