Viewing Thread:
"The Simpsons Quotes Thread"

The last one was here for ages but eventually slipped into the SR dungeon, so here's another, because everyone has a favourite quote, or several hundred.

Let's get started -

Homer : "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville, Population YOU"

Ray Paterson: sorry I'm late for the debate. SOMEONE tampered with my brakes!

Homer: Then you should have got here quicker then, shouldn't you Grandad?

Ray Paterson: What? I'm only three years older than you!

Homer; Oooh, help! I'm going old and senile! Where are my false teeth?!!??!!!

Homer visits the Sanitation Comissioner:
Homer: You Don't scare me, with your office, and your desk and your lamp.
Pat Patterson: I'm not trying to scare you.
Homer: Oh right, put on a big show for the cameras.
Pat Patterson: What camera's, what are you talking about?

Later on in the episode, Homer registers for sanitation commisioner
Homer: ....And tell the Fat Cat's upstairs things are gonna change in this town.
Man: Ok...but this is where you register as a sex offender.
Moe: *walks in: Oh, jeez, there's always a line.

Then nearer to the end of the episode
Homer: Guess how i got the money.
Bart: Drugs,
Lisa: Drugs,
Marge: I'll have to say Drugs too.
Homer: Close, but your way off.

Homer - "Now I'm not a Big Town Fancy lawyer"

*the crowd go quiet with suprise*

Homer goes up to electricity box with 3 colours-red, green and blue.
Homer:lets try the red one...Ahhhhhhhh
how about the green one.....Ahhhhhhhh
lets try the red one again......Ahhhhhhhh

Wiggum throws the match into a recently gas filled room, and it explodes.

Wiggum: oh right, the gas!

Marge: Are you planning on serving dogfood at Pincipal Skinner's party?
Bart: Yes.
Homer: Wow! Americaballs!

*Starts eating dogfood*

Homer:i'm not impressed easily.Wow a blue car!

Homer:No beer and no tv make homer go something

Marge:Crazy??

Homer:dont mind if a do *acts crazy*

Bart gives away Santa's little helper, and Laddie, and now wants Santa's little helper back.

*Bart starts crying*
Homer: Now you can sit here, eating hour after hour of dog food, till your tears smell enough like dog food, for your dog to come home. Or you can go out and look for your dog.
Bart: Your right. *Bart runs out the door*
Homer: Rats! Almost had the boy eating dog food.

Homer : "I'd like you to balance my wheels for me"

Garage Mechanic : "But these tyres won't take a balance"

Garage Mechanic : "You hear that knocking sound?"

Homer : "Yeah"

Garage Mechanic : "That tells me you need 4 new tyres"