Viewing Thread:
"The Simpsons Quotes Thread"

The last one was here for ages but eventually slipped into the SR dungeon, so here's another, because everyone has a favourite quote, or several hundred.

Let's get started -

Homer : "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville, Population YOU"

Homer : "I know what it's like, boy. When I was your age I wanted to go to the fair, my mum and dad wouldn't let me - so I held my breath until I turned blue, and passed out. I bashed my head on the coffee table, the doctor said I might have brain damage ..."

Bart : "What's the point of this story, Homer?"

Homer : "I like stories"

Krusty: And what are you making Sideshow Luke Perry?
Luke Perry: A 20th Century Carousel.

Homer: Look! I've made a nice, healthy apple.
Lisa: But you made it out of ham blocks.
Homer: Yeah, I healthy apple.

*rubs down on chest*

Krusty: At least I thought she was a chick!

Homer: Mmmm, free goo.

or

Homer: Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Lisa : "Dad, you've took up smoking?"
Homer : "Yes, Thomas Eddison smoked several cigars a day"
Bart : "Yeah, Thomas Eddison invented stuff too"
Homer : "WHY YOU LITTLE" *strangles*

Homer on stranded island: Have any of you heard of jetlag? ... JET ... LAG!?

Bart: Dad, i'll trade you this delicious doorstop for your crummy old danish.

Homer: Done and done.

*They swap*

Homer: D'oh!

*the family are giving things up*

Bart: I'll just take up smoking, then give that up.

Homer: Well done boy, giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. Have a dollar.

Lisa: But he didn't even do anything!

Homer: Didn't he Lisa? Didn't he?

Bloke "This place Moe's you left, what was it?"

Homer's brain "Dont tell him it was a bar"

Homer "It was a pornography store. I was buying pornography"

Homer's brain "I would never have thought of that"