Viewing Thread:
"Love or Life?"

I'm gunna start by saying that this is a serious topic, and that if you cannot take it for what it is, then leave now. I don't want you replying if you can't say anything helpful.

Hi.

I'm a regular on SR, but I have to protect my identity for whatever reason.

I'm 16, in year 11. In around 142 days, I will be leaving for study leave and what have you. Then it's GCSE's, and onto college. Now, I have to make a decision as to what college I am going to go to.

College A does my exact course. I will not be with any of my friends, as they are all going to other colleges. This is the only college that would provide me with the qualifications that I need.

College B doesn't do my course, but it has similar ones. At the open day we had there, I hated it. But, I will be around my mates and I will be around this girl. Who I just so happen to love.

I know I have know chance with her, and I know that because I am well, ugly, she would say no if she knew I fancied her anyway. But I can't bare not seeing her ever again. We are good mates, which is always a good thing. I need to decide whether to go to the same college as her or whether to go with my heart; my future. Saying that, she is my heart. If you see what I mean.

So, some advice please. Especially if you've been in the same boat as me before.

This isn't for people to try and guess who I am on the forums. If you guess correctly, I will come out and admit it. But I don't want people just replying and saying "Are you Mr. Snuggly?" (Which, I am not, for that matter).

Thanks,
User Removed

Hey,

You obviously are at a difficult point at your life and you need to thoroughly assess what would be best for you.

what is it three years at infant school? Then four at Juniors and another five at seniors. That about 12 years of schooling you have had so far. So now instead of being told what to do you are having to choose for the first time in your life an extremely important decision to you.

OK..

My friend decided to go to college to get away from the people, regular routine at normal school and absolutely loves it she has made a good set of friends and finds the way of life marvelous.

You are stuck.

You know you want to go college but things are holding you back from going to the one that is great for you.

At college you grow up alot, you are surrounded my plenty of new people and will make friends.
I think that you should go to the good college. If you go to the other one you will not be doing what you really want.


Take yourself out of the scenario and just think what college is best for ME?

Now, This girl you love - love is a precious feeling and you obviously are very serious about her if you are thinking of going to the same school.
I know this will sound far fetched but in the realistic world you say you do not have a chance with her. Its harsh...It hurts but babe she will find boyfriends and you will watch her grow up and be with other guys. This will hurt like hell...

At college you will have a chance to be you.
There are new friends to be got, new girls that will like and accept you for you and you will probably get the same feelings for another girl.

In the ned, you can keep in touch with your current friends and lead a completely different life at college. This will probably satisfy you greatly.

I can only give advice I cannot say 'do thi...do that' But if you try to look at your scenario from third person and think hard. You will know what is right for you.

sorry man, but its true, I'm not bothered who you are, even if you are one of the people I am closest to on the forums. Ok the "stupid thread bit" was harsh. But in your heart you know i am right.

You can't make life changing decisions based on a love that doesn't exist, love is a reciprocated thing, and this isn't reciprocated as you say. I am being cruel to be kind, this is your future at stake here! Statistically what percentage of people do you thingk spend the rest of their lives or even 5 years plus with their girlfriend from when they are 15? i'd estimate about 2%, and your not even going out with her yet, and you say the outlook is poor for the future. You are talking about your future, the way you spoke shows you know you have to make the decision and you already know the answer. Everyone has these crushes, and to be honest you can't let them governyour life, taking the wrong choice now can cost you big time in the future. Not sure why you've lost respect for me, My answer was far more helpful than: "don't take advice from people on the internet". Though written a bit harshly it tells you my thoughts which are driven by my concern to help you make the right choice.

For whatever reason.

Thanks to all the people who actually helped, no matter how stupid this thread seems.

I've lost lots of respect for Ashley too...

this is possibly the most stupid thread ever, you must know the answer in your heart or in all seriousness you wouldn't ask the question. You know the answer is go to the good place, you'll meet new people, fancy new girls, you don't love her you are infatuated, and you know i'm right. Listen to random people on the internet isf they tell you to go to the good place! you know its the right decision.

Okay, listen up.

No matter who someone is you can make them love you. I'm not talking about rape here, I'm talking about strength of character and charm. Everybody has it - evrybodies is unique.
I'm not gonna tell you any 'be yourself' crap cos it wont work. Not that you shouldn't be yourself, and not that you have to change drastically - you just have to put more effort in. Talk to her, if only briefly, whenever you see her, and if she looks at any time like she's worried try and force her to tell you what's up. Not like 'tell me or I'll kill your mum' but 'go on, tell me - sometimes it helps to tell people stuff and talk about it'.
Say Hi a lot, if ever she looks a bit hassled when your talking to her round the conversation off and try and say 'I can see your not really up for talking'. It shows you see her feelings and she'll respect you for everything in that little episode.
Try and make her laugh. Th one thing that made me attratced to women when I grew up was how much fun I had talking to them, which came over looks in my view every time.
Be a nice guy. Don't get in fights all the time and don't be rude to anyone, because if your mr. nice guy to her and you walk around swearing at her peers you'll just end up with her hating you throug other people's opinions of you.
So basically - just be yourself and put in a little extra effort. And don't expect quick results.

You can't chance throwing away your future on a whim, or a girl. You can keep in touch with your friends. Plus being away might help you get over your crush, because really that is what it is. And I'm sure you now that.

Even if you were with her I would still advise the better college, long distance relationships can work.

I've loved and lost before. But there are always others. However, there are not always chances to make up for a bad education. But still it is your choice, and only yours.

I'm not saying it all again - go read

http://ukchatforums.reserve.co.uk/
display_messages.php?threadid=84468&forumid=423

I agree with IB. The heart is treacherous. That's my opinion on it though.

That's fine with me.

For now, I bid you peace. Bye.