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lets get the ball rolling :
Marge : "Homer, are illegally producing alcohol in our basement and selling it to local watering holes??"
Homer : "I'm not gonna lie to you marge ........ well, see you later"
Marge: It's supposed to be a tweed jacket with leather patches. You've ruined two perfectly good jackets!
Head of Kwik-e-Mart - "You may ask three questions only"
Homer - "Are you really the Head of kwik-e-Mart.
Head of Kwik-e-Mart - "Yes".
Homer - "Really".
Head of Kwik-e-Mart - "Yes".
Homer - "What,really".
Head of Kwik-e-Mart - "Yes".
Head of Kwik-e-Mart - "Thank you,come again".
Homer : "New glasses?"
Marge : "No, something seems to be bothering him"
Homer : "Probably misses his old glasses"
Marge : "I was going to speak to him earlier, but I'm afraid as parents we might smother him too much"
Homer : "Yeah, then we'd get the chair"
Marge : "That's not what I meant"
Homer : "It is marge, admit it"
He's the greatest guy in Hitory
From the, Count of Springfeild
He's about to hit a chestnut tree AAAGGGHHHH!!"
"I've a feeling no children will be crying, when this puppy is put to sleep"
*Homer comes back from the past*
*Finds himself in luxury house*
Lisa: "Dad, should we take the Lexus to Aunt Patty and Aunt Selma's funeral?"
Homer: "ARGH!!!"
*To himself*
"Hmm, wait a minute, relatives dead, luxury sedan, YES!! UI've hit the jackpot!!"
Homer "Marge, can I get a donut?"
Marge: "What's a donut?"
Homer: "ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*Goes back to past"
*Donuts start falling from sky"
Marge: "Hmmm, it's raining again"
marge: ill take that literally then.
homer: yes. barts a tutor now.
*turns to window holding up beer can*
tute on, son! tute on!