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lets get the ball rolling :
Marge : "Homer, are illegally producing alcohol in our basement and selling it to local watering holes??"
Homer : "I'm not gonna lie to you marge ........ well, see you later"
"Hello Smithers, you're quite good at turning me on"
The waiting game sucks lets play hungry hungry hippos.
Homer : "look at all these fools rushing about like headless chickens, I paid my tax over a year ago"
Lisa : "dad"
Homer : "Whats wrong, honey, did you see a scary picture in your picture book?"
Lisa : "No, you have to pay tax EVERY year"
Homer : "No, you see I was counting forward from the last, first, DOH!"
Marge : "I put the tax form on your 'to do' pile last week"
Homer : "I have a 'to do' pile??"
*SCREAMS*
Homer : "Ok, ok ok, marge, how many children do we have? ... oh no time to count, I'll just estimate ..... 9"
Marge : "Homer, you know we don't have ....."
Homer : ".... shut up shut up shut up, if I don't hear you it's not illegal" "Ok, if anyone asks, you need 24hr nursing care, lisa is 7 people and bart was wounded in vietnam"
Bart : "Cool"
-------------------
comedy genius
Ralph: Three times a day (Shows grotty teeth)
Dentist shows Ralph 'The Big Book of British Smiles'
Ralph: Aaaargh! No! Never!
homer : "i took some cinderblocks from a local building site, they won't miss them..."
*cut to building site*
man 1 : "Sir, someone has stolen 4 cinderblocks!"
man 2 : "Oh god, thats all the money we had, well, I'll tell the children there'll be no hospital..."
Milhouse: "I hope they win, or Mr Burns says he's coming back"
"He has had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog. Well replace the word kinda with repetedly and the word dog with son"
Homer "Hello Dean, you're a stupid head"
Dean: "Homer is that you?"
Homer runs off
Superintenadnt Chalmers: SKINNER! What is the meaning of this OUTRAGE?
Principal Skinner: How could this happen? I got them from the same placxe where I buy Mother's clothes- oh no, she's in the park!
Superintendant Chalmers: Now this I have GOT TO see!