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"I'm not amazing"

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Fri 28/02/03 at 11:43
Regular
Posts: 787
Am I special? Am I different? If I died today would anyone remember me?

No

Is there anyway I can be special, Is there any achievement I can make that would make me feel that I was worthy enough to go out among people with pride and confidence. At this point I have to say no. I don't think that my life will ever amount top anything that will make me proud of myself.

I'm very up and down. I'm so amazingly happy one minute, and then I find myself on the floor crying the next. I'm finding it hard to express exactly what I'm feeling today. But I need to get this off my chest and for people to read it.

I want to be amazing. I want to make a difference. I want for the world to grieve for me when I die. I want attebtion. I want love. I want friendship. I really want friendship, and someone to talk to, someone who understands and won't judge me. But I can't reach out to the people I know. Its not the way I am. So I sit here and tella bunch of anonymous readers my deepest feelings.

How sad is that?
Fri 28/02/03 at 11:50
Regular
Posts: 14,117
Well, it would appear he's not "doing it" quite well enough at the moment, for you to be feeling like this...
Fri 28/02/03 at 11:49
Regular
"Orbiting Uranus"
Posts: 5,665
hes not a 'feeling' person, he's a 'doing' person. Thats the best way I can describe it.
Fri 28/02/03 at 11:47
Regular
Posts: 14,117
Oh, and by the way, I am amazing.

I'm amazing enough for both us. Perhaps I stole your amazing-ness somehow?

Anyway, onto a more serious point I've thought of:

You're in a relationship, if I remember correctly. Shoudln't your other half make you feel all the things you listed? Loved and happy etc?
Fri 28/02/03 at 11:45
Regular
Posts: 14,117
It's not sad at all. It's the easiest way out, which is why we all do it. If it makes you feel better, then who cares?

Anyway, I know what you mean about being remembered when you die. I want that to happen when I snuff it.

Not sure what I'll be famous for, but I will be, one day.
Fri 28/02/03 at 11:43
Regular
"Orbiting Uranus"
Posts: 5,665
Am I special? Am I different? If I died today would anyone remember me?

No

Is there anyway I can be special, Is there any achievement I can make that would make me feel that I was worthy enough to go out among people with pride and confidence. At this point I have to say no. I don't think that my life will ever amount top anything that will make me proud of myself.

I'm very up and down. I'm so amazingly happy one minute, and then I find myself on the floor crying the next. I'm finding it hard to express exactly what I'm feeling today. But I need to get this off my chest and for people to read it.

I want to be amazing. I want to make a difference. I want for the world to grieve for me when I die. I want attebtion. I want love. I want friendship. I really want friendship, and someone to talk to, someone who understands and won't judge me. But I can't reach out to the people I know. Its not the way I am. So I sit here and tella bunch of anonymous readers my deepest feelings.

How sad is that?

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