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"I'm not amazing"

Am I special? Am I different? If I died today would anyone remember me?

No

Is there anyway I can be special, Is there any achievement I can make that would make me feel that I was worthy enough to go out among people with pride and confidence. At this point I have to say no. I don't think that my life will ever amount top anything that will make me proud of myself.

I'm very up and down. I'm so amazingly happy one minute, and then I find myself on the floor crying the next. I'm finding it hard to express exactly what I'm feeling today. But I need to get this off my chest and for people to read it.

I want to be amazing. I want to make a difference. I want for the world to grieve for me when I die. I want attebtion. I want love. I want friendship. I really want friendship, and someone to talk to, someone who understands and won't judge me. But I can't reach out to the people I know. Its not the way I am. So I sit here and tella bunch of anonymous readers my deepest feelings.

How sad is that?

*laughing*

I think you'll find that I'm a little deeper than you think.

S, I didn't have you tagged as a deep thinker.
I see your point. I'm considering your answer.
I may be some time.

All will be sucked into the void and none shall remember. Death is eternal and memories only last a life time. Even Shakespeare, the man who cures cancer or the first women to have an alien's baby will be forgotten.

I wouldn't. I had a friend who had schizophrenia brought on by cannabis.

This might be irrelevant and please don't take offence, but if you are currently smoking cannabis, stop now.

I went through a time of this after a biker mate died, and layong off the smoke helped in the long run.

So yours is an identity crisis of sorts then?

Maybe you are asking the wrong questions of yourself.
Maybe you need to put things in a different perspective.

Am I special? Yes
Am I different? Definitely
If I died today would anyone remember me? Obviously yes

You just need to reduce the scope a little. There are a million hokey lines that could all be inserted here and all have meaning.

A journey of a million miles starts with a single step.

screw that, who wants to go a million miles anyways. Go a million miles and you'll have gone around the world 41 and a half times, and you'd be in Austrailia *eeuuwww*

you could've gone to the moon and back twice.

That's why these hokey sayings, that sound good in speeches really mean nothing in real life, because they all operate on the wrong sort of scale.

Why do you need to be special, proud, even confident on a grand scale? Why does it matter that joe nobody things you're the mutts nuts?

it doesn't

and when it comes to telling a bunch of *almost* anonymous readers you're deepest feelings, is that sad? no, because it doesn't matter where or when you seek solace so long as you seek it in a relatively safe and healthy way.

That's just my take on things,
or maybe I've missed the point?

I've lost my sense of me. I don't know who I am anymore, or what makes me 'me'. I don't know why the world lets me carrying on 'being'. I need to find 'me again.

"I know I left 'me' around here somewhere"

I wouldn't call myself amazing.

Remarkable, perhaps. But whether or not that's a good thing I'll leave to everyone else.

I'm amazing, and I know I am.