The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Recently I've had several things on my mind that are for want of a better way of putting things 'getting me down'. I'm scared of Death, of Dying. I never used to be, and I don't know when the fear of dying started to niggle away in the back of mind, but I get the feeling that it was about the same time that I realised that I don't know if there is a god.
I used to know that there was a god. I used to be able to feel him, I think. But looking back now, I wonder if it was all my head. I can't feel anything spiritual anymore, the only thing that makes sense to me now is science. But science can't give me eternal life, and even if it could I wouldn't want the sort of eternal life that it could give me, a life in this world, where people are driven by selfishness.
I am going to die. That much is certain. Every human is going to die. The fact that billions of humans have died before me brings me no comfort at all. I don't want to stop existing. If I stop existing then what is the point of this life. What on earth am I doing on earth.
And there is something wrong with me above just the fear of death. Its a huge empathy with the world. Most people love the snow. It means a day of work or school, when you can throw snowballs at each other and make snowmen. Snow makes me cry. I think of all the homeless people, and how cols they must be, and how many of them will die because of the snow that everyone is taking such delight in. I feel guilty, I'm snuggled up in my warm house, safe. But equally I'm too scared to do anything to help, above giveing a little money. I'm too scared that If I reach out to help people I will end up getting hurt or killed by some madman.
It's getting worse, I cry most days now.
I don't like leaving my house on my own. I get to work okay each day, but If I have to make an unexpected detour somewhere and I find myself among many people I suddenly feel small and dizzy as If I've shrunk and all the people are towering around me. I don't know how to behave. should I look at people as I pass them or put my head down in shame. If someone speaks to me then I shrink away and my heart races.
In the end what difference does it make if I care, If I work, If I help people. In the end we all die. If not in the coming war, then eventually, and all that we have lived for doesn't matter anymore.
I've been told that its depression. It isn't. Its realism. How can I feel any other way when the world is the way that it is? How can you tell me that I am WRONG to feel this way. It the fools who delude themselves that this life means anything that are wrong.
I used to know that there was a god. I used to be able to feel him, I think. But looking back now, I wonder if it was all my head. I can't feel anything spiritual anymore, the only thing that makes sense to me now is science. But science can't give me eternal life, and even if it could I wouldn't want the sort of eternal life that it could give me, a life in this world, where people are driven by selfishness.
I am going to die. That much is certain. Every human is going to die. The fact that billions of humans have died before me brings me no comfort at all. I don't want to stop existing. If I stop existing then what is the point of this life. What on earth am I doing on earth.
And there is something wrong with me above just the fear of death. Its a huge empathy with the world. Most people love the snow. It means a day of work or school, when you can throw snowballs at each other and make snowmen. Snow makes me cry. I think of all the homeless people, and how cols they must be, and how many of them will die because of the snow that everyone is taking such delight in. I feel guilty, I'm snuggled up in my warm house, safe. But equally I'm too scared to do anything to help, above giveing a little money. I'm too scared that If I reach out to help people I will end up getting hurt or killed by some madman.
It's getting worse, I cry most days now.
I don't like leaving my house on my own. I get to work okay each day, but If I have to make an unexpected detour somewhere and I find myself among many people I suddenly feel small and dizzy as If I've shrunk and all the people are towering around me. I don't know how to behave. should I look at people as I pass them or put my head down in shame. If someone speaks to me then I shrink away and my heart races.
In the end what difference does it make if I care, If I work, If I help people. In the end we all die. If not in the coming war, then eventually, and all that we have lived for doesn't matter anymore.
I've been told that its depression. It isn't. Its realism. How can I feel any other way when the world is the way that it is? How can you tell me that I am WRONG to feel this way. It the fools who delude themselves that this life means anything that are wrong.
Page:
gerrid wrote:
> The sagacious one wrote:
> Bush IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
>
> A lesson in roman numerals from the sagacious one.
Yeah came out well I think, next the Sagacious one does algebra.
> The sagacious one wrote:
> Bush IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
>
> A lesson in roman numerals from the sagacious one.
Yeah came out well I think, next the Sagacious one does algebra.
Rosalind wrote:
> > With the world on the brink of war and destruction I couldn't even
> contemplate adding another person to suffer.
I understand your feelings, but you must look beyond the stupidity of the few that have power and see those that manage to laugh and smile in the face of adversity. It's very hard to do in a time of uncertainty, but it's what we have to do to be human.
Things have looked bleak before and probably will again, there are always those that rise up to the challenge of war and destruction, but you must remember that these are the minority. There is still so much to experience, so much to live for. If you did die tomorrow then would you want to leave this world at a time when you are experiencing this depression? Live for the moment until the answers come, and they will come in one form or another.
I wish there was something else I could say, but this is a very personal quest you must undertake to find your spirit (and I'm not talking about the religious sense again, either). You will get there, look for strength in others.
> > With the world on the brink of war and destruction I couldn't even
> contemplate adding another person to suffer.
I understand your feelings, but you must look beyond the stupidity of the few that have power and see those that manage to laugh and smile in the face of adversity. It's very hard to do in a time of uncertainty, but it's what we have to do to be human.
Things have looked bleak before and probably will again, there are always those that rise up to the challenge of war and destruction, but you must remember that these are the minority. There is still so much to experience, so much to live for. If you did die tomorrow then would you want to leave this world at a time when you are experiencing this depression? Live for the moment until the answers come, and they will come in one form or another.
I wish there was something else I could say, but this is a very personal quest you must undertake to find your spirit (and I'm not talking about the religious sense again, either). You will get there, look for strength in others.
Rosalind wrote:
> I couldn't bring children into this world, to have them feel the way
> that I do.
> With the world on the brink of war and destruction I couldn't even
> contemplate adding another person to suffer.
The world has always been a dangerous place - whether disease, war, social/political unrest. It's depressing that, on this score, nothing really changes.
> I couldn't bring children into this world, to have them feel the way
> that I do.
> With the world on the brink of war and destruction I couldn't even
> contemplate adding another person to suffer.
The world has always been a dangerous place - whether disease, war, social/political unrest. It's depressing that, on this score, nothing really changes.
I couldn't bring children into this world, to have them feel the way that I do. I think the only thing worse than the way I am feeling, would be to see my own children go through the same thing.
With the world on the brink of war and destruction I couldn't even contemplate adding another person to suffer.
With the world on the brink of war and destruction I couldn't even contemplate adding another person to suffer.
I personally believe there is an afterlife and a reason for the creation of the universe. I don't ask for others to believe, but I'm not going to lie if someone asks me.
Yes, many people believe that there is no purpose to life and no grand scheme of things. This doesn't make sense to me at all.
Other than some divine reason, most people believe their life is there to continue and better the human race, passing information and family to future generations. In other words, children, either giving birth or adoption. Obviously, if you aren't ready for this then it's not a matter of having children to belay your fears, but this is something to look towards.
I don't think immortality is the answer, we'd have to have a cull of people for that to happen, or make people infertile so that no more babies are born. The world is already overcrowded and suffering because of it. Part of the excitement of life is new opportunities, new lives. The world would get stagnent pretty quickly. The other part of the beauty of life is the amazing things that nature can produce in the most ordinary of ways. Just look around you and notice the small things that lay all around. This is not religion, this is life and it's wonderful in the original sense.
Yes, many people believe that there is no purpose to life and no grand scheme of things. This doesn't make sense to me at all.
Other than some divine reason, most people believe their life is there to continue and better the human race, passing information and family to future generations. In other words, children, either giving birth or adoption. Obviously, if you aren't ready for this then it's not a matter of having children to belay your fears, but this is something to look towards.
I don't think immortality is the answer, we'd have to have a cull of people for that to happen, or make people infertile so that no more babies are born. The world is already overcrowded and suffering because of it. Part of the excitement of life is new opportunities, new lives. The world would get stagnent pretty quickly. The other part of the beauty of life is the amazing things that nature can produce in the most ordinary of ways. Just look around you and notice the small things that lay all around. This is not religion, this is life and it's wonderful in the original sense.
I'm not going to die, God gave me his word.
The sagacious one wrote:
> Bush IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
A lesson in roman numerals from the sagacious one.
> Bush IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
A lesson in roman numerals from the sagacious one.
Insane Bartender wrote:
> but even paradise gets boring
> after a hundred years or so.
How long did you stay for then?
> but even paradise gets boring
> after a hundred years or so.
How long did you stay for then?
Insane Bartender wrote:
> Why would anyone want to live forever? As I've said before, Heaven may
> be listed as the ultimate paradise, but even paradise gets boring
> after a hundred years or so.
I'd like to be re-animated every 1000 years enabling me to find out if Bush IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII is declaring war on Jupiter or something of that ilk.
> Why would anyone want to live forever? As I've said before, Heaven may
> be listed as the ultimate paradise, but even paradise gets boring
> after a hundred years or so.
I'd like to be re-animated every 1000 years enabling me to find out if Bush IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII is declaring war on Jupiter or something of that ilk.
From personal experience, this is a very difficult situation to be in, and how you rebuild yourself to a state that you are happy again is a very delecate process. I've made mine work for me thanks to the support of some close friends, but I've seen it go wrong and have seen good friends fall into clinically defineable depression.
Peronally, I know why I am here in this life, though I'm not going to tell the forums as it's very personal. It took me a very long time to make myself again after the death of my friend, Tom, who was killed by a drink driver 7 years ago, and I like to keep it away from sceptics and mockers.
But if you wanna chat, then just say. I don't have a solution, but I do know where you are.
Peronally, I know why I am here in this life, though I'm not going to tell the forums as it's very personal. It took me a very long time to make myself again after the death of my friend, Tom, who was killed by a drink driver 7 years ago, and I like to keep it away from sceptics and mockers.
But if you wanna chat, then just say. I don't have a solution, but I do know where you are.
Page: