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This is a call for my fellow tripods to stand up and claim their dignity back.
For too long we've been cast as the villains. Male dominated workplaces, pubs etc. Then the tide turned and females rose to prominance.
This is cool, I have no problem with that. Except when it's at the expense of male pride of the idea of maleness.
We have lost our way. Or as Tyler Durden puts it in Fight Club, "We are a generation of men raised by women, I'm thinking is another woman the answer".
This is not an anti-woman post before you all start throwing estrogen grenades at me or shrieking like angry chickens.
This is me saying that man have lost their identity, pride, dignity and balls. And it's time to take them back.
You doubt that we're seen as a floundering, clueless emasculated gender?
TV commercials. We're seen as incompetant at housework, useless at social functions and utterly lost. Blokes in dresses advertising kitchen-tissue,a bloke licking a trail of beer around the house to get him to clean up only to fall asleep when she pours it on herself?
And you men know what I'm talking about.
Ever wanted to hang out with mates but you're spending "quality time" together so you don't do that?
I used to, I know this. Staying at girlfriend's over the weekend, used to come back Sunday afternoon to meet mates and play video games. Did I tell her this? No.
Why not? Because she had my balls in her purse. And deep down you know you've done the same. You've kept quiet for an "easy life", passed up being with males to keep her happy. Yet she'll quite cheerfully go out with her mates, or have them over for the evening and you're expected to sit outside the room.
But when you do that, she gets moody right?
It's time to claim your pride back.
All these little books you can buy - for women. "Women are from Mars, Men are From Sperm", "Little book of calm" blah blah blah. Trite nonsense designed to meet certain emotional needs.
Blokes, how many times have you heard this:
"So and so at work is bugging me"
"I'll smash his face off for you"
"No, I dont want you to fix it, I just want to moan"
That's the fundemental difference here, we hear the woman has a problem,we want to fix it.
It's primal, the protector instinct. But it's been bred out of us, we've become domesticated household pets.
We have become this prissy little appendages good for mocking when they're at work (and she *does* moan about you, I promise) and her female mates all cluck and nod in sympathy.
"New Man" - a media myth that we bought. We fell for it hook, line and sinker. We started to think about "our emotions" and lost the plot. Sensitive, weepy new-age men that "understand your pain" and write poems about how hard life is.
I'm not saying we should be insensitive chauvenist pigs. I'm saying you shouldn't be afraid to say "I'm seeing my mates this weekend, sorry".
Or instead of dragging round the shops in woeful misery, say "Nope" and pick her up afterwards.
Blokes dont enjoy shopping m'kay? We know what we want before we leave, we go straight there, buy it and leave. No traipsing around Lakeside for 5hrs just browsing.
But you'll see herds of lost, sad men in Debenhams/John Lewis carrying the bags. We see another male and nod in recognition before wandering around exhaling slowly and thinking about how to get past the boss on that game.
They know this, some stores now have "creches" for men with magazines and tv. They're called "creches". You see how this is working?
We're helpless infants still needing "mum" to help us.
Well balls to that.
I'm a bloke. I smoke, I like porn. I like playing video-games, I like seeing my mates. I like playing my drums (no women at rehearsals, that's Gospel). And I'll be damned if I ever surrender my identity or happiness for the sake of a girlfriend.
That's not to say I treat it like warfare, I just set it out from the start.
I wont do dinner parties, I wont do IKEA on a Sunday looking for lampshades. And you know why? Because blokes dont care about that crap.
My 1st flat, me and a mate. There were movie posters, a Scooby Doo print and ONE plant - bought by a parent.
And trust me, women are getting fed up with blokes acting like ball-less little wimpy men.
You doubt that? Go find a woman and ask her if she saw "Gladiator".
She'll nod and make a comment about Russel Crowe. Why? Because he was nails-hard, fought for her honour/vengeance and she knows she'd be safe out with him.
Take your new-age, simpering wimpering little ideas of what a man should be and cram them.
I'm a bloke and I refuse to shuffle around in a woman-enforced idea of who I am and how I behave.
Men - take back your pride and dignity and stand up for yourselves. It's genetic, it's primal. We're hunter/gatherers, not sympathetic whiney men that take candle-lit baths *unless* you ask us and we're gonna get laid afterwards.
Be proud of being a bloke for chrissakes before we're in a museum.
Chris Martin? New-age fairy man that women think are "sweet"
Maximus? Old school bloke that women want to hump silly and try to tame.
And if you still need proof, ever heard this?
"You're like my brother"
"I really like you as a mate"
"You're sweet, I feel I can tell you anything"
That means you blew it Conan, you ain't ever seeing her naked. Which is the ultimate goal of every bloke here when talking to a woman in a social situation that isn't
(a) Related to you
(b) A minger
(c) Illegally young
Fact: If you're in a pub/club etc and a bloke comes over and starts to tell you how interested he is in you as a person blah blah, he's exactly the same as the bloke that comes over and says "Alright darling, is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?"
Men, it's time to make your choice.
Nice, polite, understanding Coldplay type bloke that is a "good mate" and will end up being cheated on because "He's nice but boring" or the type of bloke that women want to "tame"?
It's the challenge they like, to be able to think they broke you like a pony and now you're "theirs".
Be a bloke - dont be a p****-whipped crybaby.
For too long we've been cast as the villains. Male dominated workplaces, pubs etc. Then the tide turned and females rose to prominance.
This is cool, I have no problem with that. Except when it's at the expense of male pride of the idea of maleness.
We have lost our way. Or as Tyler Durden puts it in Fight Club, "We are a generation of men raised by women, I'm thinking is another woman the answer".
This is not an anti-woman post before you all start throwing estrogen grenades at me or shrieking like angry chickens.
This is me saying that man have lost their identity, pride, dignity and balls. And it's time to take them back.
You doubt that we're seen as a floundering, clueless emasculated gender?
TV commercials. We're seen as incompetant at housework, useless at social functions and utterly lost. Blokes in dresses advertising kitchen-tissue,a bloke licking a trail of beer around the house to get him to clean up only to fall asleep when she pours it on herself?
And you men know what I'm talking about.
Ever wanted to hang out with mates but you're spending "quality time" together so you don't do that?
I used to, I know this. Staying at girlfriend's over the weekend, used to come back Sunday afternoon to meet mates and play video games. Did I tell her this? No.
Why not? Because she had my balls in her purse. And deep down you know you've done the same. You've kept quiet for an "easy life", passed up being with males to keep her happy. Yet she'll quite cheerfully go out with her mates, or have them over for the evening and you're expected to sit outside the room.
But when you do that, she gets moody right?
It's time to claim your pride back.
All these little books you can buy - for women. "Women are from Mars, Men are From Sperm", "Little book of calm" blah blah blah. Trite nonsense designed to meet certain emotional needs.
Blokes, how many times have you heard this:
"So and so at work is bugging me"
"I'll smash his face off for you"
"No, I dont want you to fix it, I just want to moan"
That's the fundemental difference here, we hear the woman has a problem,we want to fix it.
It's primal, the protector instinct. But it's been bred out of us, we've become domesticated household pets.
We have become this prissy little appendages good for mocking when they're at work (and she *does* moan about you, I promise) and her female mates all cluck and nod in sympathy.
"New Man" - a media myth that we bought. We fell for it hook, line and sinker. We started to think about "our emotions" and lost the plot. Sensitive, weepy new-age men that "understand your pain" and write poems about how hard life is.
I'm not saying we should be insensitive chauvenist pigs. I'm saying you shouldn't be afraid to say "I'm seeing my mates this weekend, sorry".
Or instead of dragging round the shops in woeful misery, say "Nope" and pick her up afterwards.
Blokes dont enjoy shopping m'kay? We know what we want before we leave, we go straight there, buy it and leave. No traipsing around Lakeside for 5hrs just browsing.
But you'll see herds of lost, sad men in Debenhams/John Lewis carrying the bags. We see another male and nod in recognition before wandering around exhaling slowly and thinking about how to get past the boss on that game.
They know this, some stores now have "creches" for men with magazines and tv. They're called "creches". You see how this is working?
We're helpless infants still needing "mum" to help us.
Well balls to that.
I'm a bloke. I smoke, I like porn. I like playing video-games, I like seeing my mates. I like playing my drums (no women at rehearsals, that's Gospel). And I'll be damned if I ever surrender my identity or happiness for the sake of a girlfriend.
That's not to say I treat it like warfare, I just set it out from the start.
I wont do dinner parties, I wont do IKEA on a Sunday looking for lampshades. And you know why? Because blokes dont care about that crap.
My 1st flat, me and a mate. There were movie posters, a Scooby Doo print and ONE plant - bought by a parent.
And trust me, women are getting fed up with blokes acting like ball-less little wimpy men.
You doubt that? Go find a woman and ask her if she saw "Gladiator".
She'll nod and make a comment about Russel Crowe. Why? Because he was nails-hard, fought for her honour/vengeance and she knows she'd be safe out with him.
Take your new-age, simpering wimpering little ideas of what a man should be and cram them.
I'm a bloke and I refuse to shuffle around in a woman-enforced idea of who I am and how I behave.
Men - take back your pride and dignity and stand up for yourselves. It's genetic, it's primal. We're hunter/gatherers, not sympathetic whiney men that take candle-lit baths *unless* you ask us and we're gonna get laid afterwards.
Be proud of being a bloke for chrissakes before we're in a museum.
Chris Martin? New-age fairy man that women think are "sweet"
Maximus? Old school bloke that women want to hump silly and try to tame.
And if you still need proof, ever heard this?
"You're like my brother"
"I really like you as a mate"
"You're sweet, I feel I can tell you anything"
That means you blew it Conan, you ain't ever seeing her naked. Which is the ultimate goal of every bloke here when talking to a woman in a social situation that isn't
(a) Related to you
(b) A minger
(c) Illegally young
Fact: If you're in a pub/club etc and a bloke comes over and starts to tell you how interested he is in you as a person blah blah, he's exactly the same as the bloke that comes over and says "Alright darling, is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?"
Men, it's time to make your choice.
Nice, polite, understanding Coldplay type bloke that is a "good mate" and will end up being cheated on because "He's nice but boring" or the type of bloke that women want to "tame"?
It's the challenge they like, to be able to think they broke you like a pony and now you're "theirs".
Be a bloke - dont be a p****-whipped crybaby.
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But I bet he's a "really nice bloke" and would be "like my brother"
Rosalind wrote:
> IMHO Dawn french is good looking, and funny.
If she lost 30 stone she might be attractive. I have nothing against "bog-boned" women, but she is enormous.
It's like saying that huge guy who was on Pop Idol is attractive. You just don't know until you get rid of the huge amounts of flab on them.
> IMHO Dawn french is good looking, and funny.
If she lost 30 stone she might be attractive. I have nothing against "bog-boned" women, but she is enormous.
It's like saying that huge guy who was on Pop Idol is attractive. You just don't know until you get rid of the huge amounts of flab on them.
Yeah but be honest fellas...you wouldn't would you?
Or maybe you would, maybe that's your thing but you'd use the disclaimer "She's got a great sense of humour" before introduction.
Or maybe you would, maybe that's your thing but you'd use the disclaimer "She's got a great sense of humour" before introduction.
The sagacious one wrote:
> Anyway name a good looking female with a reknowned sense of humour...
IMHO Dawn french is good looking, and funny.
> Anyway name a good looking female with a reknowned sense of humour...
IMHO Dawn french is good looking, and funny.
Goatboy wrote:
> Whereas women pretend it's intelligence/humour blah blah that does it
> for them. Why are there never any Mrs Clowns then?
Tut tut. That should be Ms Clowns, they don't like being regarded as an attachment in these enlightened days.
Isn't Jordan a real life clown though? She has an impressive big top 'n all.
Bada boom.
> Whereas women pretend it's intelligence/humour blah blah that does it
> for them. Why are there never any Mrs Clowns then?
Tut tut. That should be Ms Clowns, they don't like being regarded as an attachment in these enlightened days.
Isn't Jordan a real life clown though? She has an impressive big top 'n all.
Bada boom.
It's the old joke as well.
Man tells mate about his new girlfriend. Mate meets girlfriend and other mates ask what she's like.
"...great sense of humour"
Mates all pause..."Damn. Ah well"
Humour in males = attractive quality apparently.
Humour in females = making up for looking like a cabbage
Man tells mate about his new girlfriend. Mate meets girlfriend and other mates ask what she's like.
"...great sense of humour"
Mates all pause..."Damn. Ah well"
Humour in males = attractive quality apparently.
Humour in females = making up for looking like a cabbage
That's because, personally speaking, ugly birds dont do it for me.
But blokes are honest.
With each other.
See, if a woman asks "Do you find her attractive", we'll say "she's alright I suppose" because you'll give us the laser-eye look if we go "Hell yes, you'd better hope she never comes a'knocking on my door"
Whereas women pretend it's intelligence/humour blah blah that does it for them. Why are there never any Mrs Clowns then?
But blokes are honest.
With each other.
See, if a woman asks "Do you find her attractive", we'll say "she's alright I suppose" because you'll give us the laser-eye look if we go "Hell yes, you'd better hope she never comes a'knocking on my door"
Whereas women pretend it's intelligence/humour blah blah that does it for them. Why are there never any Mrs Clowns then?
Rosalind wrote:
> The sagacious one wrote:
> It's funny how women often find good looking blokes funnier than not
> so good looking blokes (comedians aside).
>
> Its funny how men always find good looking women funnier than not so
> good looking women (even comedians)
Good comeback.
However I always take time out of my day to laugh at Venessa Feltz and she ain't a honey.
Anyway name a good looking female with a reknowned sense of humour...
> The sagacious one wrote:
> It's funny how women often find good looking blokes funnier than not
> so good looking blokes (comedians aside).
>
> Its funny how men always find good looking women funnier than not so
> good looking women (even comedians)
Good comeback.
However I always take time out of my day to laugh at Venessa Feltz and she ain't a honey.
Anyway name a good looking female with a reknowned sense of humour...
I don't laugh at tampon jokes.
Oh sorry I forgot. I think I'm a manly man. and I spout nonsense.
I'm probably saying that just to impress you
(j/k)
Oh sorry I forgot. I think I'm a manly man. and I spout nonsense.
I'm probably saying that just to impress you
(j/k)
Rosalind wrote:
> Its funny how men always find good looking women funnier than not so
> good looking women (even comedians)
Most female comedians aren't funny though. The majority come out with an unending stream of tampon jokes. I charge you to find a single man who laughs at a tampon joke.
> Its funny how men always find good looking women funnier than not so
> good looking women (even comedians)
Most female comedians aren't funny though. The majority come out with an unending stream of tampon jokes. I charge you to find a single man who laughs at a tampon joke.
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