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So, I'm getting married in 7 weeks. I don't think it's still sunk in properly. I have bouts getting excited about it, like when we went for suit fittings etc. It feels real then, same as when we were looking for a venue. Right now though, on a slow friday afternoon at work, it doesn't.
I'm not scared by the thought of it. But on the otherhand, right now, I'm not excited by it either. I'm just like "I'm getting married soon, that's cool." And that's about it.
Is this normal? Are there many married people on here? I'm not getting cold feet at all, it's just.... other people are more excited about it than I am. Maybe it's a bloke thing?
Maybe it's the fact that I've got to use nearly all my holiday for the honeymoon, so I've not had a single day off work this year, and I'm starting to drag because of it.
Anyway, the whole institution of marriage is fine by me. Over the last 3 years me & Mrs YH (to be) have been to about 10 weddings. All bar two have been church weddings. All bar one of them are still happily together. Although I know for a fact that at least one of them has most certainly had it's downs.
Not really sure what the point of this thread is to be honest. Friday musings that now it's out I can't be bothered (or don't want to for some reason) delete. Maybe it's something I'll add too over the next few weeks. Maybe I won't. Maybe it's something that will get some replies, or maybe it's something that none of you will read. Who knows?
I'm not scared by the thought of it. But on the otherhand, right now, I'm not excited by it either. I'm just like "I'm getting married soon, that's cool." And that's about it.
Is this normal? Are there many married people on here? I'm not getting cold feet at all, it's just.... other people are more excited about it than I am. Maybe it's a bloke thing?
Maybe it's the fact that I've got to use nearly all my holiday for the honeymoon, so I've not had a single day off work this year, and I'm starting to drag because of it.
Anyway, the whole institution of marriage is fine by me. Over the last 3 years me & Mrs YH (to be) have been to about 10 weddings. All bar two have been church weddings. All bar one of them are still happily together. Although I know for a fact that at least one of them has most certainly had it's downs.
Not really sure what the point of this thread is to be honest. Friday musings that now it's out I can't be bothered (or don't want to for some reason) delete. Maybe it's something I'll add too over the next few weeks. Maybe I won't. Maybe it's something that will get some replies, or maybe it's something that none of you will read. Who knows?
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So, I'm getting married in 7 weeks. I don't think it's still sunk in properly. I have bouts getting excited about it, like when we went for suit fittings etc. It feels real then, same as when we were looking for a venue. Right now though, on a slow friday afternoon at work, it doesn't.
I'm not scared by the thought of it. But on the otherhand, right now, I'm not excited by it either. I'm just like "I'm getting married soon, that's cool." And that's about it.
Is this normal? Are there many married people on here? I'm not getting cold feet at all, it's just.... other people are more excited about it than I am. Maybe it's a bloke thing?
Maybe it's the fact that I've got to use nearly all my holiday for the honeymoon, so I've not had a single day off work this year, and I'm starting to drag because of it.
Anyway, the whole institution of marriage is fine by me. Over the last 3 years me & Mrs YH (to be) have been to about 10 weddings. All bar two have been church weddings. All bar one of them are still happily together. Although I know for a fact that at least one of them has most certainly had it's downs.
Not really sure what the point of this thread is to be honest. Friday musings that now it's out I can't be bothered (or don't want to for some reason) delete. Maybe it's something I'll add too over the next few weeks. Maybe I won't. Maybe it's something that will get some replies, or maybe it's something that none of you will read. Who knows?
I'm not scared by the thought of it. But on the otherhand, right now, I'm not excited by it either. I'm just like "I'm getting married soon, that's cool." And that's about it.
Is this normal? Are there many married people on here? I'm not getting cold feet at all, it's just.... other people are more excited about it than I am. Maybe it's a bloke thing?
Maybe it's the fact that I've got to use nearly all my holiday for the honeymoon, so I've not had a single day off work this year, and I'm starting to drag because of it.
Anyway, the whole institution of marriage is fine by me. Over the last 3 years me & Mrs YH (to be) have been to about 10 weddings. All bar two have been church weddings. All bar one of them are still happily together. Although I know for a fact that at least one of them has most certainly had it's downs.
Not really sure what the point of this thread is to be honest. Friday musings that now it's out I can't be bothered (or don't want to for some reason) delete. Maybe it's something I'll add too over the next few weeks. Maybe I won't. Maybe it's something that will get some replies, or maybe it's something that none of you will read. Who knows?
I felt pretty much the same at some points, excited when I was part of the whole organising, but then, as a bloke, you do get left out as everything goes whizzing past you anyway.
I wouldn't worry about it, just make sure you're happy on the day and sit back and enjoy it. Weddings are all over so quickly anyway if it's you getting married.
Anyway, hope it goes well and the weather is good for you.
I wouldn't worry about it, just make sure you're happy on the day and sit back and enjoy it. Weddings are all over so quickly anyway if it's you getting married.
Anyway, hope it goes well and the weather is good for you.
I personally find the concept of marriage scary as hell, having said that I am young and single. Just the prospect of spending and committing the rest of your life to one person. My problem could be just that I've been burnt by previous relations and I've lost quite a bit of faith in relationships in general.
Having said that I do see people who on the cover of it look really quite happily married.
What kind of wedding are you having? Is it the full works or just a small do?
I can't even imagine the stress of organising such an event.
Having said that I do see people who on the cover of it look really quite happily married.
What kind of wedding are you having? Is it the full works or just a small do?
I can't even imagine the stress of organising such an event.
My opinions on marriage depend entirely on the type of mood i'm in. Its either all lovely symbolism, commitment blah blah or it's your lifes biggest and most costly vanity project and completely against human nature.
Can you tell which side i'm on today?
Can you tell which side i'm on today?
Possibly the second one?
Yup, it is a lot of money. Yup it is only one day. But, you're only going to do it once, so why not have everything you want?
It's a fairly traditional thing - church, reception with meal etc, and extra people + band in the evening.
The vicar/priest/minister (I'm still not sure what the difference is) is a top bloke. We had to go and see him a few times. On one of the evenings he said he'd just started playing Bioshock. I'm not sure if he's finished yet or not though.
EDIT - it's not been particulalry stressful, but then we did get engaged last march, so we've had over a year to sort it out. It's just a case of being organised I guess.
Plus it gives me the opportunity to have a lot of lists. I like lists.
Yup, it is a lot of money. Yup it is only one day. But, you're only going to do it once, so why not have everything you want?
It's a fairly traditional thing - church, reception with meal etc, and extra people + band in the evening.
The vicar/priest/minister (I'm still not sure what the difference is) is a top bloke. We had to go and see him a few times. On one of the evenings he said he'd just started playing Bioshock. I'm not sure if he's finished yet or not though.
EDIT - it's not been particulalry stressful, but then we did get engaged last march, so we've had over a year to sort it out. It's just a case of being organised I guess.
Plus it gives me the opportunity to have a lot of lists. I like lists.
Weddings are pretty cool, I want my friends to start getting married so I can get to experience weddings from more than a distant relative point of view. (Mind you my funeral to wedding ratio is rather horrid so just some more happy occasions would be nice.)
I guess my biggest concern would be the loss of true independence, though I am only 21 I enjoy being my own boss and not needing to check with the "mrs" which is one of the things I find a lot of my friends have to do.
I guess my biggest concern would be the loss of true independence, though I am only 21 I enjoy being my own boss and not needing to check with the "mrs" which is one of the things I find a lot of my friends have to do.
It's a balance though isn't it? If every night, you go down the pun with your mates, then she would probably get pretty annoyed. However, if you wanted to get away from her every night to go out with your mates, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship with her anyway...
We're pretty happy with where we are. We do our own thing sometimes, and joint stuff other times.
I think everyone has in their group the couple where he is completely under the thumb. Personally, I couldn't stand to be like that. You just kind of find what works for you. I'm sure people we know wouldn't agree completely with how we do stuff, but it works for us.
We're pretty happy with where we are. We do our own thing sometimes, and joint stuff other times.
I think everyone has in their group the couple where he is completely under the thumb. Personally, I couldn't stand to be like that. You just kind of find what works for you. I'm sure people we know wouldn't agree completely with how we do stuff, but it works for us.
Congratulations. Go for it YH. You seem to be 'pretty normal' about the entire affair - this is normal, not just a bloke thing.
Been married now for 24 years, married at 31 - Silver next year, or so I'm told:) Two sons, 23 and 21 - brilliant kids.
Can remember our day like it was yesterday - we planned it together and have stayed together. We believe you marry for life and to be honest, I've never fancied anybody else except my wife. We have always shared 'life'. No real arguements etc etc.
Besides, you marry your girlfriend - making a commitment to eachother, not the wedding and the reception - that's for your mates and family! I'm still looking forward to the next twenty odd years, god willing:-)
PS And not that it matters, we're not 'religious people'.
Been married now for 24 years, married at 31 - Silver next year, or so I'm told:) Two sons, 23 and 21 - brilliant kids.
Can remember our day like it was yesterday - we planned it together and have stayed together. We believe you marry for life and to be honest, I've never fancied anybody else except my wife. We have always shared 'life'. No real arguements etc etc.
Besides, you marry your girlfriend - making a commitment to eachother, not the wedding and the reception - that's for your mates and family! I'm still looking forward to the next twenty odd years, god willing:-)
PS And not that it matters, we're not 'religious people'.
Yes, congratulations! :) I say if you've been with her for three years already, you've practically experienced the flow of "marriage" to eachother already. Perhaps that's the reasoning for the lack of enthusiasm, dare I say?
I suppose the feat of standing at the alter might come as a right of passage to a new life, but will it be a new life? Or will it be the same life with eachother.. just legally bound until death do you part. I dunno, the actual wedding part seems to throw a wrench in it for some people. Like it inhibits some control factor of eachother that wasn't there before. Everything that seemed so awesome before the blessed day just changes to linger on the ultimatum of conforming or ending via divorce.
I sigh.
I'm sure if things have been so great these past few years for you both, that you've officially engaged to vow fidelity to eachother for the rest of your lives at your upcoming nuptials, it's certainly foresight as to what lies ahead.
Hence, my internet chap, I send my many sincere wishes for continued happiness. :)
I suppose the feat of standing at the alter might come as a right of passage to a new life, but will it be a new life? Or will it be the same life with eachother.. just legally bound until death do you part. I dunno, the actual wedding part seems to throw a wrench in it for some people. Like it inhibits some control factor of eachother that wasn't there before. Everything that seemed so awesome before the blessed day just changes to linger on the ultimatum of conforming or ending via divorce.
I sigh.
I'm sure if things have been so great these past few years for you both, that you've officially engaged to vow fidelity to eachother for the rest of your lives at your upcoming nuptials, it's certainly foresight as to what lies ahead.
Hence, my internet chap, I send my many sincere wishes for continued happiness. :)
Very nice sentiments Ladybird.
However, I guess you've been close but yet so far away, and I don't mean that 'nastily':)
Standing at the altar/registration desk is just a commitment that shouldn't be taken lightly...but if you've reached that stage, it really should only be a matter of signing and on we go with the way we lived before. Names may or may not have changed, but not your love or life style...but then again, it depends how you've been together previously. Have you been prepared to give and take, to share, to support, to be unselfish, to be forgiving and to respect one another without taking the upper hand!
It takes two to tango:)
However, I guess you've been close but yet so far away, and I don't mean that 'nastily':)
Standing at the altar/registration desk is just a commitment that shouldn't be taken lightly...but if you've reached that stage, it really should only be a matter of signing and on we go with the way we lived before. Names may or may not have changed, but not your love or life style...but then again, it depends how you've been together previously. Have you been prepared to give and take, to share, to support, to be unselfish, to be forgiving and to respect one another without taking the upper hand!
It takes two to tango:)
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