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"Homer quotes"

Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

here 2 the first i think is genius therefore i live by it:


'if a job's to hard to do, then it's not worth doing at all'


Lisa: Dad you ok, you just had you head shut in a bridge?

Homer: yeah i'll just walk it off.


'feeling stupid, i know i am'

The Tomacco episode: Homer gets shot by the duellist.

Lisa: Dad this is probably one of those things you should go to hospital for.

Homer: Yes Lisa. After pie.

I personally like homer's four (as far as i know) reasons for things being funny:

It's funny because it's true.
It's funny because it's what we're thinking.
It's funny because it's not me.
It's funny because you smell.

Marge [watching Homer chew on a pencil dipped in a slab of butter used as a pencil holder]: Are you using my best butter?

Homer [still chewing]: I'll have to write myself another delicious memo.

Homer [watching the flanders boys on the internet]: Ah, I see they've got the internet on computers these days.

BTW, going to change my name to Fountain_of_Knowledge so there.

you want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
When you turn over and put your hands in a pile of goo, that used to be your friends face .....

Bart, whats Lisas birthday?
I don't know
You don't know your own sisters birthday? What kind of brother are you???

I'm somewhere where I dont know where I am.

To Lisa: "Any friend of Marge is a friend of mine."

"Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a package for me"

"Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"

"I don't know."

*Pretend to be shocked and move slowly towards the cake*

Doh

Has one word ever been so synonymous with one man ?