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"Good afternoon sir, a woman left a letter for you."
The man smiled at the bellboy, took the letter, sliped it into his pocket, pulled out a cigarette, and lit up.
"I'll be at the blackjack tables if there's a phone call for me."
"Oui senoir."
The man calmly strode down the long stairs to the chandilier lit casino. Smoke filled the room, puffed out by men who were a lot less rich now that they'd been in here for a few hours.
But there was one man who always seemed to win. He sat at table 5...
So he sat down, opposite, and offered to play in. The table accepted.
A woman around the table eyed the new player... he knew his cards... and she knew his face.
"Cool, hit me." He said, taking a deep drag from his cigarette.
"Excuse me sir, have I seen you around places before?" The lady finally asked.
"Maybe. I've been to places before." The man quipped, taking another drag and raising the stakes.
The man, the man who never seemed to lose sneered at the smoking man's comment.
"So who are you?" The lady asked.
"The name's Snuggly." Snuggly took another deep drag from his cigarette. "Mr. Snuggly."
"Oh! I DO know you... remember when we inflitrated that drugs ring in South America... we made love under the sunset after we bought Mr Large to justice... he faced an untimely death after being rolled in his giant mechanical joint making machine."
The man who never losed eyed Snuggly... "I'm sorry, you must have mistaken me for someone else."
"Can't you remember?" The woman said, giggling. "It wasn't that long ago... we're both spies, you know, you'd expect us to remember things like that. You DO still work for the British Secret Service, don't you?"
The man who never losed suddenly stood up quickly... two men seized Snuggly from behind, and the woman was punched in the face by the man, and fell to the floor.
"You! You the spy that been following me huh?" The man said.
"You've been stealing OAP's to build your underwater lair, Hybrid. It was only a matter of time before we found out your evil scheme."
"Acchh... I was so sure nobody would notice that they went missing..." Hybrid said. "Still, ah well. I'll just have to kill you now."
"Not if I do this!" Snuggly managed to loosen his grip on the man holding him to his left. He punched the one to the right, kicked the other one in the shin, and then pulled an elastic band from his pocket, and shot it at Hybrid.
He fell back, screaming, and fell into an automatic card shuffler. The other members that had come to play cards moaned at the sight, as Hybrid was split into two even sections.
"He always was a right pack to deal with." Snuggly said to himself.
The woman rushed to her feet. "Oh Snuggly... how foolish of me, but what do you expect, I'm only a woman, after all." The woman giggled, and offered Snuggly back to her place for a few hours of sex.
Snuggly placed the letter from the woman that was given to him in his jacket, and promptly forgot about it.
----------
LONDON - THREE DAYS LATER
----------
"Glad to hear that you've dealt with Hybrid, Snuggly!" Tony said, sitting behind his antique desk, smoking a pipe.
"In more ways than one." Loki said, opening the door and letting himself in.
"Ah, Loki, I've been meaning to thank you for that elastic band you gave me for that mission... came in handy."
"We're here to help you get the man Snuggly, don't you forget. The amount of times Loki Branch has saved your life, I'll never count. Did you manage to return the elastic band?"
"Well... yes, I was meaning to say..."
Loki sighed.
"Never mind that now, you two, sit down." Tony stood up, and waited for the two to sit. "Now, a small problem has arised in Venice... our payman there, Meka, he hasn't reported in for a few days."
"What was he sticking his nose in at the time?" Snuggly asked.
"We're not sure. The last time he radio contacted us, he told us that something big was going down at the 'Plumage Club'. It's a big nightclub, probably the best you can find in Venice."
"Does it have a casino?" Snuggly asked.
"Yes."
"Superb."
"So your assignment is this." Tony said, summing up the mission, and taking a puff from his pipe. "Go to Venice, visit where Meka was staying, find anything you can, and visit this 'Plumage Club' as well. Meka might still be alive, so please, work as fast as you can."
"You know me, sir." Snuggly stood up. "I'll leave immedietely."
"Not quite so fast..." Loki said, standing up to. "Come with me down to the Workshop, we've got a few gadgets for you to bring with you."
The man smiled at the bellboy, took the letter, sliped it into his pocket, pulled out a cigarette, and lit up.
"I'll be at the blackjack tables if there's a phone call for me."
"Oui senoir."
The man calmly strode down the long stairs to the chandilier lit casino. Smoke filled the room, puffed out by men who were a lot less rich now that they'd been in here for a few hours.
But there was one man who always seemed to win. He sat at table 5...
So he sat down, opposite, and offered to play in. The table accepted.
A woman around the table eyed the new player... he knew his cards... and she knew his face.
"Cool, hit me." He said, taking a deep drag from his cigarette.
"Excuse me sir, have I seen you around places before?" The lady finally asked.
"Maybe. I've been to places before." The man quipped, taking another drag and raising the stakes.
The man, the man who never seemed to lose sneered at the smoking man's comment.
"So who are you?" The lady asked.
"The name's Snuggly." Snuggly took another deep drag from his cigarette. "Mr. Snuggly."
"Oh! I DO know you... remember when we inflitrated that drugs ring in South America... we made love under the sunset after we bought Mr Large to justice... he faced an untimely death after being rolled in his giant mechanical joint making machine."
The man who never losed eyed Snuggly... "I'm sorry, you must have mistaken me for someone else."
"Can't you remember?" The woman said, giggling. "It wasn't that long ago... we're both spies, you know, you'd expect us to remember things like that. You DO still work for the British Secret Service, don't you?"
The man who never losed suddenly stood up quickly... two men seized Snuggly from behind, and the woman was punched in the face by the man, and fell to the floor.
"You! You the spy that been following me huh?" The man said.
"You've been stealing OAP's to build your underwater lair, Hybrid. It was only a matter of time before we found out your evil scheme."
"Acchh... I was so sure nobody would notice that they went missing..." Hybrid said. "Still, ah well. I'll just have to kill you now."
"Not if I do this!" Snuggly managed to loosen his grip on the man holding him to his left. He punched the one to the right, kicked the other one in the shin, and then pulled an elastic band from his pocket, and shot it at Hybrid.
He fell back, screaming, and fell into an automatic card shuffler. The other members that had come to play cards moaned at the sight, as Hybrid was split into two even sections.
"He always was a right pack to deal with." Snuggly said to himself.
The woman rushed to her feet. "Oh Snuggly... how foolish of me, but what do you expect, I'm only a woman, after all." The woman giggled, and offered Snuggly back to her place for a few hours of sex.
Snuggly placed the letter from the woman that was given to him in his jacket, and promptly forgot about it.
----------
LONDON - THREE DAYS LATER
----------
"Glad to hear that you've dealt with Hybrid, Snuggly!" Tony said, sitting behind his antique desk, smoking a pipe.
"In more ways than one." Loki said, opening the door and letting himself in.
"Ah, Loki, I've been meaning to thank you for that elastic band you gave me for that mission... came in handy."
"We're here to help you get the man Snuggly, don't you forget. The amount of times Loki Branch has saved your life, I'll never count. Did you manage to return the elastic band?"
"Well... yes, I was meaning to say..."
Loki sighed.
"Never mind that now, you two, sit down." Tony stood up, and waited for the two to sit. "Now, a small problem has arised in Venice... our payman there, Meka, he hasn't reported in for a few days."
"What was he sticking his nose in at the time?" Snuggly asked.
"We're not sure. The last time he radio contacted us, he told us that something big was going down at the 'Plumage Club'. It's a big nightclub, probably the best you can find in Venice."
"Does it have a casino?" Snuggly asked.
"Yes."
"Superb."
"So your assignment is this." Tony said, summing up the mission, and taking a puff from his pipe. "Go to Venice, visit where Meka was staying, find anything you can, and visit this 'Plumage Club' as well. Meka might still be alive, so please, work as fast as you can."
"You know me, sir." Snuggly stood up. "I'll leave immedietely."
"Not quite so fast..." Loki said, standing up to. "Come with me down to the Workshop, we've got a few gadgets for you to bring with you."
Page:
As luck would have it, right through the next door stood a lone figure, so Snugly and Meka jumped him, and tied him quickly to a chair.
The man looked strangely familiar. After scratching their heads for a few seconds both Snuggly just had to ask "You look familiar, bt I can't quite place you. Who are you, and what are you doing here?"
"You don't recognise me? I'm Nigel Bond, the snooker player." Replied the man.
"And what are you doing here?" asked Meka, reaching into his pocket and producing a pair of tweezers.
Nigel Bond didn't answer, he simply looked up at the tweezers with terror in his eyes.
"Do it" said Snuggly to Meka.
Meka grinned, before sticking the tweezers up Nigel Bond's nose and tugging on a few hairs.
"You expect me to talk?" asked Nigel.
"No Mr Bond, I expect you to...actually, no could you talk? Please?" Said Snuggly
Before Nigel could respond the door behind them flung open, knocking crates down with a crash. Snuggly and Meka dived out of the way of a hail of bullets, leaving Nigel Bond free to escape for possible later jokes with the Bond name.
Two nameless henchmen stood in the doorway, guns in hands. Meka and Snuggly had moved behind the crates. The men moved just inside the steel door with great caution. Snuggly looked at his watch, and set the magnet. This force pulled the heavy door to close. The henchmen looked round, and Meka and Snuggly took the opportunity to jump the men.
---------------
"You know, there really wasn't any need to put on his underpants Meka, just his henchman suit, so we can go undercover." Siad Snuggly, rather alarmed.
"Yeah, but these are simply devine, plenty of roomage in the undercarriage section, much better than the Loki Branch issue undies. The mustard gas kept being released at the wrong time, it was moist embarrassing." Replied Meka, feeling his own bum.
The man looked strangely familiar. After scratching their heads for a few seconds both Snuggly just had to ask "You look familiar, bt I can't quite place you. Who are you, and what are you doing here?"
"You don't recognise me? I'm Nigel Bond, the snooker player." Replied the man.
"And what are you doing here?" asked Meka, reaching into his pocket and producing a pair of tweezers.
Nigel Bond didn't answer, he simply looked up at the tweezers with terror in his eyes.
"Do it" said Snuggly to Meka.
Meka grinned, before sticking the tweezers up Nigel Bond's nose and tugging on a few hairs.
"You expect me to talk?" asked Nigel.
"No Mr Bond, I expect you to...actually, no could you talk? Please?" Said Snuggly
Before Nigel could respond the door behind them flung open, knocking crates down with a crash. Snuggly and Meka dived out of the way of a hail of bullets, leaving Nigel Bond free to escape for possible later jokes with the Bond name.
Two nameless henchmen stood in the doorway, guns in hands. Meka and Snuggly had moved behind the crates. The men moved just inside the steel door with great caution. Snuggly looked at his watch, and set the magnet. This force pulled the heavy door to close. The henchmen looked round, and Meka and Snuggly took the opportunity to jump the men.
---------------
"You know, there really wasn't any need to put on his underpants Meka, just his henchman suit, so we can go undercover." Siad Snuggly, rather alarmed.
"Yeah, but these are simply devine, plenty of roomage in the undercarriage section, much better than the Loki Branch issue undies. The mustard gas kept being released at the wrong time, it was moist embarrassing." Replied Meka, feeling his own bum.
The large panels slid slowly back with a whirring sound to reveal a giant flat television screen. The evil genius Dogboy pressed a button on the remote control to reveal static at first, then after several expletives he pressed another button and a picture appeared.
On the makeshift platform in the Atlantic ocean the head engineer gulped as he got ready to make his report.
“So, Mr Shaneo, how are the plans for the base going?”
“Well, sir…I…I….I’m just completing the underwater release mechanism now and we should be ready for launch in 15 hours sir…”
“15! FIFTEEN! That is NOT good enough, any number of would be secret agents would have far too much time to fill before trying to sabotage my plans! Make it 10 hours!”
“But sir…”
“Are you questioning me?”
“But sir….we….we..can’t….”
“Dah!” Said Dogboy as he pressed another, more ominous looking button on the remote. Mr Shaneo dropped from the image of the view screen and the image was replaced by several startled workers looking down then away as they watched his body being torn by sharks.
“Right, who wants to take charge of the operation now?”
The workers looked at one another in unison and gulped.
--- -
Snuggly and Meka cautiously climbed out of the canoe, their arms aching from all the rowing, on to the decks of the Santa Anna.
“Look, I didn’t realise that they had made this thing for Secret Squirrel, did I? It’s not MY fault that the engines couldn’t take our weight.” Said Meka.
“Damn penny pinching HQ, what will we get next? Scooby Snacks to eat? They shouldn’t have so many other secret agents on their payroll you know, only yesterday I bumped in to Austin Powers and Touché Turtle having a conversation…”
“Duck!”
“Where?”
Meka pushed Snuggly’s head down as a pair of guards went passed.
They ducked behind a few boxes and waited for the guards to disperse before sneaking in to a large vent which led down to the engine rooms. After realising that they couldn’t fit through the vent, they climbed back out and went through the engine room door instead.
The engine room contained a myriad of pipes and pulleys, just asking for a fight scene. Smoke poured from some of the vents in the piping, it looked hot, very hot. Snuggly and Meka went over to a table with some plans and navigation charts on.
“Interesting.” Said Snuggly as he read the plans. “It seems that this scaffolding is being used for some sort of underwater launch site for a series of satellites which will launch a laser in to the sea, bouncing off an underwater dish on the base and on to the various embassies around the world.”
Meka looked at the plans, then at Snuggly. “Just one question. Why the hell do these evil geniuses always leave complete plans for their world domination where everyone can see them so that any passing secret agent can find out what they’re doing?”
“It’s in their contract. We’ve still got to find out where this thing is and put a stop to it though.”
“oh, ok.”
With that, they went to find some crew members to torture.
On the makeshift platform in the Atlantic ocean the head engineer gulped as he got ready to make his report.
“So, Mr Shaneo, how are the plans for the base going?”
“Well, sir…I…I….I’m just completing the underwater release mechanism now and we should be ready for launch in 15 hours sir…”
“15! FIFTEEN! That is NOT good enough, any number of would be secret agents would have far too much time to fill before trying to sabotage my plans! Make it 10 hours!”
“But sir…”
“Are you questioning me?”
“But sir….we….we..can’t….”
“Dah!” Said Dogboy as he pressed another, more ominous looking button on the remote. Mr Shaneo dropped from the image of the view screen and the image was replaced by several startled workers looking down then away as they watched his body being torn by sharks.
“Right, who wants to take charge of the operation now?”
The workers looked at one another in unison and gulped.
--- -
Snuggly and Meka cautiously climbed out of the canoe, their arms aching from all the rowing, on to the decks of the Santa Anna.
“Look, I didn’t realise that they had made this thing for Secret Squirrel, did I? It’s not MY fault that the engines couldn’t take our weight.” Said Meka.
“Damn penny pinching HQ, what will we get next? Scooby Snacks to eat? They shouldn’t have so many other secret agents on their payroll you know, only yesterday I bumped in to Austin Powers and Touché Turtle having a conversation…”
“Duck!”
“Where?”
Meka pushed Snuggly’s head down as a pair of guards went passed.
They ducked behind a few boxes and waited for the guards to disperse before sneaking in to a large vent which led down to the engine rooms. After realising that they couldn’t fit through the vent, they climbed back out and went through the engine room door instead.
The engine room contained a myriad of pipes and pulleys, just asking for a fight scene. Smoke poured from some of the vents in the piping, it looked hot, very hot. Snuggly and Meka went over to a table with some plans and navigation charts on.
“Interesting.” Said Snuggly as he read the plans. “It seems that this scaffolding is being used for some sort of underwater launch site for a series of satellites which will launch a laser in to the sea, bouncing off an underwater dish on the base and on to the various embassies around the world.”
Meka looked at the plans, then at Snuggly. “Just one question. Why the hell do these evil geniuses always leave complete plans for their world domination where everyone can see them so that any passing secret agent can find out what they’re doing?”
“It’s in their contract. We’ve still got to find out where this thing is and put a stop to it though.”
“oh, ok.”
With that, they went to find some crew members to torture.
"Sod this!" Said Snuggly, as he kicked the canoe in the side!
"Wait!!" Said Meka. "Look at this!" He pointed to a flourescent blue button on the underside of the canoe...
"Push it, Push it!" Sang Snuggly - He was an avid fan of the group that sang that song.
"Okay, but if this boat blows up, it's coming out of YOUR wages!"
Meka, leaned forward... his index finger stretched out... his finger neared then button... Snuggly couldn't watch... but Meka looked determined.
"You bottled it!" Shouted Snuggly "You're such a pússy! Let me do it."
Snuggly leaned forward and pushed the button... mist started to pertrude from the underside of the canoe...
"Coooooooooooool!" Said Meka... mist!
Speed Thrusters and missiles unfolded from the side of the canoe, a target screen and a steering wheel came up from the bottom, and a stash of condoms and cigars were aptly labelled with a flashing pink neon sign.
"Shplendid!" Said Snuggly...
"Cigars and Condoms!"
"What the?!" Meka picked up one of the condoms... "It's minute!"
"Worse... it's MICROSIZED!"
*That spacey music that everyone hates plays. Snuggly and Meka look at each other - SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT!"
"Wait!!" Said Meka. "Look at this!" He pointed to a flourescent blue button on the underside of the canoe...
"Push it, Push it!" Sang Snuggly - He was an avid fan of the group that sang that song.
"Okay, but if this boat blows up, it's coming out of YOUR wages!"
Meka, leaned forward... his index finger stretched out... his finger neared then button... Snuggly couldn't watch... but Meka looked determined.
"You bottled it!" Shouted Snuggly "You're such a pússy! Let me do it."
Snuggly leaned forward and pushed the button... mist started to pertrude from the underside of the canoe...
"Coooooooooooool!" Said Meka... mist!
Speed Thrusters and missiles unfolded from the side of the canoe, a target screen and a steering wheel came up from the bottom, and a stash of condoms and cigars were aptly labelled with a flashing pink neon sign.
"Shplendid!" Said Snuggly...
"Cigars and Condoms!"
"What the?!" Meka picked up one of the condoms... "It's minute!"
"Worse... it's MICROSIZED!"
*That spacey music that everyone hates plays. Snuggly and Meka look at each other - SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT!"
Snuggly and Meka left the apartment and walked down the street towards the harbour. As they rounded a corner, they saw a man, stark naked, running down the side of the road shouting "Eureka!". Meka looked questiningly at Snuggly.
"It's foreign," said Snuggly, "It means 'lend me a towel'".
"Ah."
They continued their journey to the docks.
"So, Lokie branch has sorted out a boat for us?"
"Yeah, that was what that pager message was all about. Apparently ours will 'stand out and we'll easily be able to tell which one it is'."
"Cool. They have some damn nice boats down here, so ours must be pretty special to stand out from the rest."
After a few minutes more walking, they arrived at the docks, and start wandering along, looking for their boat. They got about three quarters of the way along when Snuggly promptly stopped, and pointed.
"Er, you don't think it's that one, do you?"
"I bloody hope not!" replied Snuggly, who got out his mobile phone. "Tony? Yeah, what the hell is all this about? Our bloody boat, that's what! It's a bloody canoe! how they hell are we supposed to be inconspicuous in one of them!?"
The conversation continued for a while. Snuggly put the phone back in his pocket.
"Apparently Big Brother 2 is about to start back home. Loki Branch has to cut costs in anticipation of the money wasted when all the technicians watch it over the 'net instead of working. So we get that." Snuggly pointed at the canoe.
Meka sighed, "Come on then, let's get on with it..."
"It's foreign," said Snuggly, "It means 'lend me a towel'".
"Ah."
They continued their journey to the docks.
"So, Lokie branch has sorted out a boat for us?"
"Yeah, that was what that pager message was all about. Apparently ours will 'stand out and we'll easily be able to tell which one it is'."
"Cool. They have some damn nice boats down here, so ours must be pretty special to stand out from the rest."
After a few minutes more walking, they arrived at the docks, and start wandering along, looking for their boat. They got about three quarters of the way along when Snuggly promptly stopped, and pointed.
"Er, you don't think it's that one, do you?"
"I bloody hope not!" replied Snuggly, who got out his mobile phone. "Tony? Yeah, what the hell is all this about? Our bloody boat, that's what! It's a bloody canoe! how they hell are we supposed to be inconspicuous in one of them!?"
The conversation continued for a while. Snuggly put the phone back in his pocket.
"Apparently Big Brother 2 is about to start back home. Loki Branch has to cut costs in anticipation of the money wasted when all the technicians watch it over the 'net instead of working. So we get that." Snuggly pointed at the canoe.
Meka sighed, "Come on then, let's get on with it..."
Meka's apartment was a mess, and unsurprisingly, there wasn't anything left that could possibly help him. It didn't look like there was anywhere he could hide that was safe.
Still, it was a good job he went there, when the door began to open, and Snuggly grabbed Meka by the arm and pulled him inside.
"Snuggly, Christ man, you scared the hell out of me."
Snuggly helped Meka off the floor. "Sorry about that, thought I was being followed, again. Not very friendly in Venice, are they?"
"You're telling me." Meka said. "I can't get in contact with Tony, I've got a lot to report."
"Well, why don't we have a little chat. Now you're safe, I'm sure we can find out what the hell's going on."
"Well... I think they thought I knew a lot more than I did." Meka said. "There's a boat, the Santa Anna?"
"Which is owned by the same owner as the Plumage Bar."
"Right." Meka said. "But it's transporting something... I couldn't get a really close look, but from sight, and from what it says on the actual shipping details, it's scaffolding."
"Scaffolding? Some madman trying to build another underwater fortress?"
"That's what I thought." Meka said. "I followed the boat out, on the Wednesday..."
"The day it leaves, right? Comes back on the Friday."
"Yeah." Meka said... "How'd you know all this?"
"Checked the files in that island you were trapped on... out of interest, how did you escape?"
"They just slammed the door instead of locking it."
"Ah, same here." Snuggly said.
"It was following the Santa Anna that I got caught... I never found out where it was taking that scaffolding."
"Well, that's our next job, eh? Out of interest, who owns that boat, and the Plumage Club?"
"His name is Goatboy. To be honest, I'm not sure if he's got anything to do with it... I've got a really funny feeling that he's being blackmailed into sending this scaffolding out... or whatever it really is."
"Why'd you think that?"
"I've seen him being talked to by a few of the henchmen that captured me. He didn't seem too pleased to see them, but after a while, he seemed a lot more calmer, more accepting. As if perhaps they had shown him that they had a video of him with barnyard animals or something."
"Nasty." Snuggly said. "And I suppose, as the owner of the largest club in Venice, you don't anything to go down on you, I suppose."
"No comment." Meka said. "What day is it?"
"Friday." Snuggly said. His pager went off, so he checked it.
"Let's get going now then. We might just be able to find out where it is. Do you have a boat?"
"Apparently so." Snuggly said, reading the pager. "There's a boat placed down at the Sniper Memorial Harbour, we should be able to spot it easily, whatever that means. I better report in that you're safe, and we'll get going."
Still, it was a good job he went there, when the door began to open, and Snuggly grabbed Meka by the arm and pulled him inside.
"Snuggly, Christ man, you scared the hell out of me."
Snuggly helped Meka off the floor. "Sorry about that, thought I was being followed, again. Not very friendly in Venice, are they?"
"You're telling me." Meka said. "I can't get in contact with Tony, I've got a lot to report."
"Well, why don't we have a little chat. Now you're safe, I'm sure we can find out what the hell's going on."
"Well... I think they thought I knew a lot more than I did." Meka said. "There's a boat, the Santa Anna?"
"Which is owned by the same owner as the Plumage Bar."
"Right." Meka said. "But it's transporting something... I couldn't get a really close look, but from sight, and from what it says on the actual shipping details, it's scaffolding."
"Scaffolding? Some madman trying to build another underwater fortress?"
"That's what I thought." Meka said. "I followed the boat out, on the Wednesday..."
"The day it leaves, right? Comes back on the Friday."
"Yeah." Meka said... "How'd you know all this?"
"Checked the files in that island you were trapped on... out of interest, how did you escape?"
"They just slammed the door instead of locking it."
"Ah, same here." Snuggly said.
"It was following the Santa Anna that I got caught... I never found out where it was taking that scaffolding."
"Well, that's our next job, eh? Out of interest, who owns that boat, and the Plumage Club?"
"His name is Goatboy. To be honest, I'm not sure if he's got anything to do with it... I've got a really funny feeling that he's being blackmailed into sending this scaffolding out... or whatever it really is."
"Why'd you think that?"
"I've seen him being talked to by a few of the henchmen that captured me. He didn't seem too pleased to see them, but after a while, he seemed a lot more calmer, more accepting. As if perhaps they had shown him that they had a video of him with barnyard animals or something."
"Nasty." Snuggly said. "And I suppose, as the owner of the largest club in Venice, you don't anything to go down on you, I suppose."
"No comment." Meka said. "What day is it?"
"Friday." Snuggly said. His pager went off, so he checked it.
"Let's get going now then. We might just be able to find out where it is. Do you have a boat?"
"Apparently so." Snuggly said, reading the pager. "There's a boat placed down at the Sniper Memorial Harbour, we should be able to spot it easily, whatever that means. I better report in that you're safe, and we'll get going."
Snuggly woke up to a child singing in the street... he looked at his watch... it was just just past 9am. He got washed and dressed but never brused his teeth, because he thought he would look stupid with all that white foam around his mouth.
He put his hoodie... err hood up and had one final look in the mirror and headed for the door. The plan was to check out Meka's apartment and meet the owner of 'Plumage Club' and ask about the boat...
He reached for the handle but stopped as there was a knock on the door...
He didn't open it and looked through the bit of glass in the door, he was greeted by a magnified head, he didn't recognise the person:
" Knock Knock " said a dull voice.
" Who's there? " Snuggly replied, raising an eyebrow.
" Cheese " said the man.
" Cheese Who? " Snuggly forced his eyebrow down.
" Mouldy Cheese, I'm errr here to change your sheets " replied Cheese
Snuggly had already begun heading for the window... he climbed out to the balcony and jumped... amazingly he didn't injure himself in the two metre drop. He straightened out his tux and began to move away from the apartment... he heard a faint bang before sliding down a side street.
He put his hoodie... err hood up and had one final look in the mirror and headed for the door. The plan was to check out Meka's apartment and meet the owner of 'Plumage Club' and ask about the boat...
He reached for the handle but stopped as there was a knock on the door...
He didn't open it and looked through the bit of glass in the door, he was greeted by a magnified head, he didn't recognise the person:
" Knock Knock " said a dull voice.
" Who's there? " Snuggly replied, raising an eyebrow.
" Cheese " said the man.
" Cheese Who? " Snuggly forced his eyebrow down.
" Mouldy Cheese, I'm errr here to change your sheets " replied Cheese
Snuggly had already begun heading for the window... he climbed out to the balcony and jumped... amazingly he didn't injure himself in the two metre drop. He straightened out his tux and began to move away from the apartment... he heard a faint bang before sliding down a side street.
Dr Stryke waited inside the pyramid. He was impatient, where was the man Dogboy was supposed to send? It was important, nay, imperative, that he succeed. Otherwise, W.O.O.D's plan would be a failure. A total failure. A complete failure. An utter failure. To be perfectly honest, it would be a complete, total and utter failure.
Damn. A lot certainly rested on Stryke's shoulders. He tried to ignore the nervousness building up in his stomach by watching his pocket TV, but there was nothing decent to watch. Only Rugby.
A shadow. Stryke looked up, to see a tall figure slowly make his way down the steps. "Ah, so you are finally here," he said, a little annoyed, "I've been waiting a long while."
The figure, who Stryke worked out to be a man, stepped up to him menacingly. "I am sorry, but I got here as quick as possible. My boss was a little busy."
"Humm...anyway, where is it?"
"Here," the man said, handing Dr Stryke a thin cardboard box.
Stryke opened it and looked inside with delight, "ah, delicious pizza." He began to eat hungrily as the pizza delivery man left the pyramid. He was unbelievably hungry. Then again, it was plausible. After all, he'd had to live on nothing but Parmesan Cheese for a long while.
Another figure appeared at the top of the pyramid. "Dr Stryke?"
"...Yesh?" Strkye replied, his mouth full.
"I am Wookiee Monster. Dogboy sent me."
Damn. A lot certainly rested on Stryke's shoulders. He tried to ignore the nervousness building up in his stomach by watching his pocket TV, but there was nothing decent to watch. Only Rugby.
A shadow. Stryke looked up, to see a tall figure slowly make his way down the steps. "Ah, so you are finally here," he said, a little annoyed, "I've been waiting a long while."
The figure, who Stryke worked out to be a man, stepped up to him menacingly. "I am sorry, but I got here as quick as possible. My boss was a little busy."
"Humm...anyway, where is it?"
"Here," the man said, handing Dr Stryke a thin cardboard box.
Stryke opened it and looked inside with delight, "ah, delicious pizza." He began to eat hungrily as the pizza delivery man left the pyramid. He was unbelievably hungry. Then again, it was plausible. After all, he'd had to live on nothing but Parmesan Cheese for a long while.
Another figure appeared at the top of the pyramid. "Dr Stryke?"
"...Yesh?" Strkye replied, his mouth full.
"I am Wookiee Monster. Dogboy sent me."
Well, another enemy to add to the ever growing list, thought Snuggly.
And then he noticed that they had only slammed the door shut, not actually locked it. No wonder Meka had escaped so easily.
Snuggly walked out, and started snooping around. At least Mr Happy had told him some truth... whoever these people were, they had been spying on boats entering and leaving the area. A folder full of boats that have been seen entering and leaving, their owners, occupations, any other details.
As fate would have it, he managed to pull out the details of a boat called the "Santa Anna", which belonged to the owner of the Plumage Club. Apparently, the boat leaves every Wednesday for two days, comes back at night on the Friday.
Snuggly took the file, and a small bottle of rum that had been left on the table. He walked out of the prison, got in the lift, and eventually reached the shore.
Fortunatly, a tourist boat was pretty near the island... he swam towards the boat, and pulled himself onto it, with help from the tourists.
"Remind me never to take the economy class next time." Snuggly said, twisting the water out from his jacket.
---------------
Snuggly reached his apartment, and immedietely started looking for bugs.
Apart from the odd beetle, nothing. Looks like he was at least safe in here. Tommorrow he would check out Meka's apartment, to see if he could find anything. But for now...
"Hi my beautiful Mystiquepenny, I've got a small request of you."
"I've told you once and I'll tell you again, I can't leave London to come see you, as much as I'll love to." Mystiquepenny said.
"Actually, it's just a small favour from Loki Branch. I'm having a spot of bother finding my transport over here, I was just wondering if you could give me a few details on where I could find it."
"He didn't tell you?"
"No... people seem to think spies know all the facts on hand, but oddly enough, we need to ask questions too."
"I'll ask him in the morning, your pager is still working, yes?"
"Yeah." Snuggly tapped his waterproof Loki Branch pager, complete with industrial power laser which can cut through steel, if he was ever locked away in a cell where they bothered to lock the door. "Ok, thanks for that Mystiquepenny. Tell Tony that I'm pretty sure Meka is still alive, he was captured, and escaped recently. If he gets in contact, tell him to meet me at the doors of my hotel, bleep me first though."
"Ok, no problem."
"Anything you want from Venice?"
"A cornetto would go down great at the moment." She said, before hanging up.
Snuggly smiled, and fell back asleep. As long as he could find Meka, perhaps he could figure out what the hell was going on...
And then he noticed that they had only slammed the door shut, not actually locked it. No wonder Meka had escaped so easily.
Snuggly walked out, and started snooping around. At least Mr Happy had told him some truth... whoever these people were, they had been spying on boats entering and leaving the area. A folder full of boats that have been seen entering and leaving, their owners, occupations, any other details.
As fate would have it, he managed to pull out the details of a boat called the "Santa Anna", which belonged to the owner of the Plumage Club. Apparently, the boat leaves every Wednesday for two days, comes back at night on the Friday.
Snuggly took the file, and a small bottle of rum that had been left on the table. He walked out of the prison, got in the lift, and eventually reached the shore.
Fortunatly, a tourist boat was pretty near the island... he swam towards the boat, and pulled himself onto it, with help from the tourists.
"Remind me never to take the economy class next time." Snuggly said, twisting the water out from his jacket.
---------------
Snuggly reached his apartment, and immedietely started looking for bugs.
Apart from the odd beetle, nothing. Looks like he was at least safe in here. Tommorrow he would check out Meka's apartment, to see if he could find anything. But for now...
"Hi my beautiful Mystiquepenny, I've got a small request of you."
"I've told you once and I'll tell you again, I can't leave London to come see you, as much as I'll love to." Mystiquepenny said.
"Actually, it's just a small favour from Loki Branch. I'm having a spot of bother finding my transport over here, I was just wondering if you could give me a few details on where I could find it."
"He didn't tell you?"
"No... people seem to think spies know all the facts on hand, but oddly enough, we need to ask questions too."
"I'll ask him in the morning, your pager is still working, yes?"
"Yeah." Snuggly tapped his waterproof Loki Branch pager, complete with industrial power laser which can cut through steel, if he was ever locked away in a cell where they bothered to lock the door. "Ok, thanks for that Mystiquepenny. Tell Tony that I'm pretty sure Meka is still alive, he was captured, and escaped recently. If he gets in contact, tell him to meet me at the doors of my hotel, bleep me first though."
"Ok, no problem."
"Anything you want from Venice?"
"A cornetto would go down great at the moment." She said, before hanging up.
Snuggly smiled, and fell back asleep. As long as he could find Meka, perhaps he could figure out what the hell was going on...
WHILE THIS WAS HAPPENING....
Mr Snuggly and Mr Happy had reached the island.
They walked up the peir that they had moored the boat on. From what Snuggly could make out, the island was very small - it reminded him of Alcatraz. There was a large, abandoned building which wouldn't have looked out of place in the posh part of Manchester. The windows were all smahed and the doors were chained up.The image brought back memories of 'male encounters' in Manchester's back streets on previous ops. He made a mental note to avoid Manchester at all further costs.
Mr happy noticed that Snuggly was moping along a little
"Sup?," he asked questionably
"Just feeling a little sheepy," replied Snuggly
"Good god man, thats disgusting. Are you welsh?" Mr Happy was alarmed. Its amazing how these Italians misunderstand when they directly translate to their language thought Snuggly!
"Ill, Happy. I'm just feeling a little ill after the boat ride".
They made their way up to the building. It was dark now and the walk up was a little slippy. Once or twice Snuggly nearly rolled back down into the sea. He didn't fancy it in there, he could see bits of sweetcorn floating round which inevitably meant that there was a sweage works nearby. He decided that if things went *t**s* up, he would go for the boat before risking a swim in that!
"In there," said Happy.
Snuggly wasn't sure where it had come from but a door had appeared in the wall in front of him; Happy must have hit a switch somewhere.
Inside the doorway looked like a lift. There was a soft blue glow coming from the light in the ceiling. Something wasn't right here thought Snuggly.
He took a step forward into the lift.
"Just wondering but, why is the Italian government hiding out on an isl............"
The lights went out. Everything went out. Snuggly was down and he knew about it. There was a pain in the back of his head - he wasn't sure what but something had hit him very hard.
His senses seemed to be working ok but his body movement was f***ed and he knew it. He could do nothing but lie where he was and let things take their course. He hoped his hair looked alright and that there were no cameras around. Could prove embarrassing if photos of him got out with dodgy hair.
The doors closed and the lift started going down. There must be a basement thought Snuggly.
Happy put a fire extinguisher down. That must have been what hit him on the back of the head thought Snuggly. Where the hell he got that from he would probably never know but that wasn't important. Besides, Snuggly had a skate board in his pocket so a fire extinguisher wasn't much of a feat. Speaking of the skate board, he was dying to play with it. He made another mental note to remember to play 'back to the future' type games, by holding onto the back of cars, at his earliest possiblity.
The lift stopped. Snuggly was still messed up. He felt someone grab his arms and pull him. Rather ungraceful he thought to himself. This floor hadn't been cleaned in ages - he would remember to forward the dry cleaning bill for his trousers.
"Chuck him in there", a deep voice growled.
Snuggly couldn't manage to look up to ID the person but he knew that his situation was rapidly deteriorating. Dodgy hair and messed up trousers - this was not turning into a good day out.
He was dragged into a cell and dumped onto a bed. He waited, still unable to move as the cell door slammed and Mr Happy disappeared.
About 5 minutes later, he started to regain some feeling in his body. His managed to roll over and lie on his back. The cell was small and looked like it was made out of clay bricks. He couldn't see any other cells other than his but that mean't nothing - the whole place was very poorly lit. He started wondering what the hell was going on.
He heard voices. It was Mr Happy and he was shouting at someone. Snuggly tried to listen.....
"ESCAPED? What do you mean Meka has escaped? I spend ages planning this entire operation and you let him escape. I have just got Snuggly, we need BOTH of them for this. AAARRRGGGHHH. Get out of here you worthless $h!t."
This was interesting. At least Snuggly now knew why Meka hadn't contacted base. All that remained was to find where he was now. No easy task considering he was locked in a cell. He had to escape..... but how?
Mr Snuggly and Mr Happy had reached the island.
They walked up the peir that they had moored the boat on. From what Snuggly could make out, the island was very small - it reminded him of Alcatraz. There was a large, abandoned building which wouldn't have looked out of place in the posh part of Manchester. The windows were all smahed and the doors were chained up.The image brought back memories of 'male encounters' in Manchester's back streets on previous ops. He made a mental note to avoid Manchester at all further costs.
Mr happy noticed that Snuggly was moping along a little
"Sup?," he asked questionably
"Just feeling a little sheepy," replied Snuggly
"Good god man, thats disgusting. Are you welsh?" Mr Happy was alarmed. Its amazing how these Italians misunderstand when they directly translate to their language thought Snuggly!
"Ill, Happy. I'm just feeling a little ill after the boat ride".
They made their way up to the building. It was dark now and the walk up was a little slippy. Once or twice Snuggly nearly rolled back down into the sea. He didn't fancy it in there, he could see bits of sweetcorn floating round which inevitably meant that there was a sweage works nearby. He decided that if things went *t**s* up, he would go for the boat before risking a swim in that!
"In there," said Happy.
Snuggly wasn't sure where it had come from but a door had appeared in the wall in front of him; Happy must have hit a switch somewhere.
Inside the doorway looked like a lift. There was a soft blue glow coming from the light in the ceiling. Something wasn't right here thought Snuggly.
He took a step forward into the lift.
"Just wondering but, why is the Italian government hiding out on an isl............"
The lights went out. Everything went out. Snuggly was down and he knew about it. There was a pain in the back of his head - he wasn't sure what but something had hit him very hard.
His senses seemed to be working ok but his body movement was f***ed and he knew it. He could do nothing but lie where he was and let things take their course. He hoped his hair looked alright and that there were no cameras around. Could prove embarrassing if photos of him got out with dodgy hair.
The doors closed and the lift started going down. There must be a basement thought Snuggly.
Happy put a fire extinguisher down. That must have been what hit him on the back of the head thought Snuggly. Where the hell he got that from he would probably never know but that wasn't important. Besides, Snuggly had a skate board in his pocket so a fire extinguisher wasn't much of a feat. Speaking of the skate board, he was dying to play with it. He made another mental note to remember to play 'back to the future' type games, by holding onto the back of cars, at his earliest possiblity.
The lift stopped. Snuggly was still messed up. He felt someone grab his arms and pull him. Rather ungraceful he thought to himself. This floor hadn't been cleaned in ages - he would remember to forward the dry cleaning bill for his trousers.
"Chuck him in there", a deep voice growled.
Snuggly couldn't manage to look up to ID the person but he knew that his situation was rapidly deteriorating. Dodgy hair and messed up trousers - this was not turning into a good day out.
He was dragged into a cell and dumped onto a bed. He waited, still unable to move as the cell door slammed and Mr Happy disappeared.
About 5 minutes later, he started to regain some feeling in his body. His managed to roll over and lie on his back. The cell was small and looked like it was made out of clay bricks. He couldn't see any other cells other than his but that mean't nothing - the whole place was very poorly lit. He started wondering what the hell was going on.
He heard voices. It was Mr Happy and he was shouting at someone. Snuggly tried to listen.....
"ESCAPED? What do you mean Meka has escaped? I spend ages planning this entire operation and you let him escape. I have just got Snuggly, we need BOTH of them for this. AAARRRGGGHHH. Get out of here you worthless $h!t."
This was interesting. At least Snuggly now knew why Meka hadn't contacted base. All that remained was to find where he was now. No easy task considering he was locked in a cell. He had to escape..... but how?
Cunning. Very cunning.
ELSEWHERE
"Wookiee! The Other One! Report!" ordered the man with the underpants on his head.
"My name is Mouldy Cheese, sir. You promised you'd remember."
"Yes, so I did, Other One. You may go now."
The man turned to a tank where he kept three fish apart.
"Come closer, Wookiee."
"Yes sir."
"Look, these two fish fight each other, while the other keeps back until he is sure one is losing. Watch!"
The man put the fish into the same compartment. They did nothing.
"Oh for Christs sake...Damn Siamese Fighting Fish."
"They're goldfish, sir."
"They are? DAMN! Stupid fish guy, ripping me off again. Anyway, sod him. Send the Other One to kill him for me. I want you for a special task."
"Sir, I'm straight."
"No, Wookiee, not that. Have you captured Snuggly?"
"No sir. But we have a particularly fine coathanger."
"Good, that's something. Hang my jacket up. I need you to go to Eygpt. Dr Stryke should be waiting for you there. It is imperative to W.O.O.D's plan that he succeed. You have the latest shipping?"
"I do, sir. I shall leave with all haste."
He saluted, and left.
The man turned around. His name was Dogboy. A name the world would soon tremble at. Dogboy was having a hard time imagining that at the moment. Maybe they would tremble at his real name...
"I will rule the world. No-one will oppose me!"
He turned to a globe of the world.
"You are mine! Mine! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Muah. Ha. Damn goldfish."
ELSEWHERE
"Wookiee! The Other One! Report!" ordered the man with the underpants on his head.
"My name is Mouldy Cheese, sir. You promised you'd remember."
"Yes, so I did, Other One. You may go now."
The man turned to a tank where he kept three fish apart.
"Come closer, Wookiee."
"Yes sir."
"Look, these two fish fight each other, while the other keeps back until he is sure one is losing. Watch!"
The man put the fish into the same compartment. They did nothing.
"Oh for Christs sake...Damn Siamese Fighting Fish."
"They're goldfish, sir."
"They are? DAMN! Stupid fish guy, ripping me off again. Anyway, sod him. Send the Other One to kill him for me. I want you for a special task."
"Sir, I'm straight."
"No, Wookiee, not that. Have you captured Snuggly?"
"No sir. But we have a particularly fine coathanger."
"Good, that's something. Hang my jacket up. I need you to go to Eygpt. Dr Stryke should be waiting for you there. It is imperative to W.O.O.D's plan that he succeed. You have the latest shipping?"
"I do, sir. I shall leave with all haste."
He saluted, and left.
The man turned around. His name was Dogboy. A name the world would soon tremble at. Dogboy was having a hard time imagining that at the moment. Maybe they would tremble at his real name...
"I will rule the world. No-one will oppose me!"
He turned to a globe of the world.
"You are mine! Mine! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Muah. Ha. Damn goldfish."
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