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Girls like different things to boys.
That’s a given, but I have discovered that there are certain things, objects and foods, that are also only for boys and girls.
At great personal risk, I have managed to obtain the list from Estrogen HQ.
Programmes:
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
This is a girl’s show. To be watched only by girls that like a “bit of danger” and think Spike is “cute”. These girls are usually straight-laced but bad-at-heart girls that like to appear risky but still don’t want to do anything really daring like get a tattoo or pierce bits of their face.
If you watch this and are male, there are only two excuses:
(a) Your lady watches it and if you didn’t then you wouldn’t get any sugar.
(b) You are gay.
And you can’t use the excuse “I watch it because Buffy is hot”, because the fact you are watching this show means you either have a girlfriend, or you just want to wear her clothes anyway.
SEX IN THE CITY
Again, a total girl show.
For women, by women, about women.
Men don’t watch this because it’s everything we don’t like in women – it’s bitchy, whining, insecure and is invariably about their body shape and shoes and stuff.
Total Fem show with no redeeming male interests (and seeing 2 secs of boob does not justify the teeth-itching experience of being in a woman’s mind for 1hr per week)
HEARTBEAT/MONARCH OF THE GLEN/SUNDAY NIGHT 7-10pm SHOWS
These are all for women.
And women usually over the age of 38 at that. A nice, relaxing, warm and fluffy time of the evening for when the kids have been settled, chocolates have been opened and coffee made.
Men may watch these shows, but only because they are slumped in the armchair still working off Sunday lunch and it’s too early for a bath / w##k on the internet.
TOP GEAR
Man.
100% male show. If women watch this, it’s because they are lesbians or ugly and can’t get any men to live with them and fix their cars for them.
It’s about fast cars, and sometimes aeroplanes. This is man territory, stay away women.
PROGRAMMES ABOUT WAR
Male only zones.
NATURE DOCUMENTARIES
This is a tricky area.
Some shows are about lemurs and marmosets and other nice little animals, this is predominately a girl area.
But the ones about gorillas, sharks, crocs…any big killer animals are man episodes.
Or episodes about explorers (men) being brave and risking death from ice and stuff – Man show.
Food
SALAD
This is girl food.
Men cannot nor should not eat salad. Otherwise you’re a nancy boy that should be wearing plimsolls and worrying about his waist-size. You fairy.
Salad is acceptable on a man plate if used as a garnish only. Any more than a sprig and you are approaching “Well I shouldn’t really” zones. And that is not a place for a man.
FRUIT
Minefield of gender-issues.
TANGERINE
Girl. Easy to open, light and can be eaten WHILST DOING YOUR NAILS
ORANGES
Man. A sod to open, messy and take an age to eat. Best done whilst waiting for war movies to start on Channel 5 (bloke channel)
MELONS
Watermelon is unisex, but Galia and other melons are girly. For obvious reasons.
PRAWN COCKTAIL
Woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman. No man alive should have ever ordered one of these, otherwise you are a Femmy bloke with soft, luxuriant hair.
CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA
Woman. Typical curry ordered by woman (usually with a white wine), whilst men order Jalfrezi and madras and (only to attempted by drunken men in a group) Phaal.
QUICHE
So utterly female I’m feeling fruity just writing the word. Men have no business with chilled dairy products.
There are many others, but I’m bored and want a smoke. (Malboro is man smoke, Silk Cut is girly, B&H are Unisex. Lambert & Butler are pikey, no matter what sex).
That’s a given, but I have discovered that there are certain things, objects and foods, that are also only for boys and girls.
At great personal risk, I have managed to obtain the list from Estrogen HQ.
Programmes:
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
This is a girl’s show. To be watched only by girls that like a “bit of danger” and think Spike is “cute”. These girls are usually straight-laced but bad-at-heart girls that like to appear risky but still don’t want to do anything really daring like get a tattoo or pierce bits of their face.
If you watch this and are male, there are only two excuses:
(a) Your lady watches it and if you didn’t then you wouldn’t get any sugar.
(b) You are gay.
And you can’t use the excuse “I watch it because Buffy is hot”, because the fact you are watching this show means you either have a girlfriend, or you just want to wear her clothes anyway.
SEX IN THE CITY
Again, a total girl show.
For women, by women, about women.
Men don’t watch this because it’s everything we don’t like in women – it’s bitchy, whining, insecure and is invariably about their body shape and shoes and stuff.
Total Fem show with no redeeming male interests (and seeing 2 secs of boob does not justify the teeth-itching experience of being in a woman’s mind for 1hr per week)
HEARTBEAT/MONARCH OF THE GLEN/SUNDAY NIGHT 7-10pm SHOWS
These are all for women.
And women usually over the age of 38 at that. A nice, relaxing, warm and fluffy time of the evening for when the kids have been settled, chocolates have been opened and coffee made.
Men may watch these shows, but only because they are slumped in the armchair still working off Sunday lunch and it’s too early for a bath / w##k on the internet.
TOP GEAR
Man.
100% male show. If women watch this, it’s because they are lesbians or ugly and can’t get any men to live with them and fix their cars for them.
It’s about fast cars, and sometimes aeroplanes. This is man territory, stay away women.
PROGRAMMES ABOUT WAR
Male only zones.
NATURE DOCUMENTARIES
This is a tricky area.
Some shows are about lemurs and marmosets and other nice little animals, this is predominately a girl area.
But the ones about gorillas, sharks, crocs…any big killer animals are man episodes.
Or episodes about explorers (men) being brave and risking death from ice and stuff – Man show.
Food
SALAD
This is girl food.
Men cannot nor should not eat salad. Otherwise you’re a nancy boy that should be wearing plimsolls and worrying about his waist-size. You fairy.
Salad is acceptable on a man plate if used as a garnish only. Any more than a sprig and you are approaching “Well I shouldn’t really” zones. And that is not a place for a man.
FRUIT
Minefield of gender-issues.
TANGERINE
Girl. Easy to open, light and can be eaten WHILST DOING YOUR NAILS
ORANGES
Man. A sod to open, messy and take an age to eat. Best done whilst waiting for war movies to start on Channel 5 (bloke channel)
MELONS
Watermelon is unisex, but Galia and other melons are girly. For obvious reasons.
PRAWN COCKTAIL
Woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman. No man alive should have ever ordered one of these, otherwise you are a Femmy bloke with soft, luxuriant hair.
CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA
Woman. Typical curry ordered by woman (usually with a white wine), whilst men order Jalfrezi and madras and (only to attempted by drunken men in a group) Phaal.
QUICHE
So utterly female I’m feeling fruity just writing the word. Men have no business with chilled dairy products.
There are many others, but I’m bored and want a smoke. (Malboro is man smoke, Silk Cut is girly, B&H are Unisex. Lambert & Butler are pikey, no matter what sex).
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Why is everone quoting the entire thing? Fools.
heh heh
Could video games perhaps be categorised into male / female? For example the GTA series is blatantly male, while games such as The Sims have an awkward female element. However I for one don't mind the Sims so I am not one to comment....
And as for Marlboro lights, obviously unisex cigarettes. I personally smoke Richmond as they taste the same as B&H but for £1 less per 20.
Also, I agree quiche is probably the most girly food of the lot. Oh second only to beetroot. And of course ratatouille. Um also tomato pasta is kinda girly. You don't want to know my standing on Go-Ahead and other such health bars. Pah!
And as for Marlboro lights, obviously unisex cigarettes. I personally smoke Richmond as they taste the same as B&H but for £1 less per 20.
Also, I agree quiche is probably the most girly food of the lot. Oh second only to beetroot. And of course ratatouille. Um also tomato pasta is kinda girly. You don't want to know my standing on Go-Ahead and other such health bars. Pah!
Wow, are there any women on this thing? Guys, this is not productive. This is what they want. Do not let them win. Women don't want the beer-swilling, footy-watching, belching, lazy dormant blokes any more. It might have worked once, but those days are over; we need to modernise.
In the 1980s, there was such a thing as the New Man- he was just as masculine as a normal fella, but he wasn't afraid to muck in with the housework and help the kids with their homework.
In the 21st century, we need to go even further. So women want a guy in touch with his emotions, who has a sensitive side and wants a proper relationship, not just meaningless sh**s (I think you know what I mean, though I have seen some wierd stuff on the net lately, besides which, when have you taken a dump and it's not meant something to you?). So lets provide that, if that's what they want.
What I was going to start off this post by saying, before I got sidetracked, is that the sort of gender discrimination shown in this thread is not really valid, as I hope to prove.
Buffy- can't you just watch it because it's a good programme and the girls are damn hot? Well, that's why I watch it.
Sex and the City- 3 fit girls, funny storylines, very entertaining. What more could you want? Is it because you feel threatened? Aw. A real man wouldn't.
Sunday night telly- this isn't something that men or women discriminatively watch, it's people with no taste in television, regardless of gender.
Top Gear- this is the most homo-erotic programme on television because it appears outwardly masculine but is in fact quite gay. All guys coming together to watch Jeremy wax lyrical about a motor none of us could hope to afford is just like watching motoring gay porn. Uh, did you check out the calipers on that Dodge Viper? "Um, can you hear the engine purr with excitement, as I slip the keys into the ignition?" It's so camp and ridden with sexual innuendo I'm convinced it's watched by closet homosexuals. And you know what they say about buying a car like a Lamborghini Diablo? Peni5 extension.
Food
The reason you say salad is for women only is because most men i.e. not chefs or high rollers, before you complain, but your average British bloke, doesn't know the first thing about food. So they make the rash assumption that anything that doesn't have a parent isn't worth eating, when this is utter tripe, quite unliterally.
Oranges- these are a pain to open, so I don't see what's wrong with eating tangerines. I love good melon, it's very refreshing and tasty, and cantaloupe melon is quite exquisite. "For obvious reasons"? What obvious reasons? That they're healthy?
Who the hell eats prawn cocktails anyway? I though these were only served in Bernie Inns and Little Chefs, not actual restaurants.
People without taste eat them, male or female.
Don't get me started on the misconceptions surrounding the British interpretation of 'curry': a person with sense likes tasty curries, be they hot, medium or mild. It's the wrong categorisation, pal. Beer should never be drunk with curry, chicken tikka massala isn't even proper curry, it's certainly not Indian, the list goes on.
Quiche, in my opinion, are disgusting. But that's for food reasons, not because I'm too much of a man. Hell, I'd eat bull's testicles if they cooked it right.
I'm not a smoker, but I'd like to know where you stand on Marlboro Lights.
Action are the most boring films ever! I just cannot turn my brain off enough to sit through these tedious, Jerry Bruckheimer-produced, Cruise/Cage-starring pieces of cinematic offal.
Decorating is not something I can say I concern myself with in terms of putting up wallpaper or changing the curtains. But it doesn't mean I can't care about my surroundings.
Moisturiser? There's only one thing I use moisturiser for. And it's not Kilroy.
I could go on forever but this is starting to bore me now, so I won't. But seriously, I hope all this was in jest because if men really think this way, we're going the way of the dodo and dinosaur.
P.S. A proper steak is only a proper steak if it is rare-medium rare, there is no other way of cooking steak. Unless you just want a big chewy hamburger. "Well done, please," is the philistine's choice.
P.P.S. Never explain Monkey Island jokes to the uninformed! They obviously won't get them and those in the know don't like it either! I am rubber, you are glue.
In the 1980s, there was such a thing as the New Man- he was just as masculine as a normal fella, but he wasn't afraid to muck in with the housework and help the kids with their homework.
In the 21st century, we need to go even further. So women want a guy in touch with his emotions, who has a sensitive side and wants a proper relationship, not just meaningless sh**s (I think you know what I mean, though I have seen some wierd stuff on the net lately, besides which, when have you taken a dump and it's not meant something to you?). So lets provide that, if that's what they want.
What I was going to start off this post by saying, before I got sidetracked, is that the sort of gender discrimination shown in this thread is not really valid, as I hope to prove.
Buffy- can't you just watch it because it's a good programme and the girls are damn hot? Well, that's why I watch it.
Sex and the City- 3 fit girls, funny storylines, very entertaining. What more could you want? Is it because you feel threatened? Aw. A real man wouldn't.
Sunday night telly- this isn't something that men or women discriminatively watch, it's people with no taste in television, regardless of gender.
Top Gear- this is the most homo-erotic programme on television because it appears outwardly masculine but is in fact quite gay. All guys coming together to watch Jeremy wax lyrical about a motor none of us could hope to afford is just like watching motoring gay porn. Uh, did you check out the calipers on that Dodge Viper? "Um, can you hear the engine purr with excitement, as I slip the keys into the ignition?" It's so camp and ridden with sexual innuendo I'm convinced it's watched by closet homosexuals. And you know what they say about buying a car like a Lamborghini Diablo? Peni5 extension.
Food
The reason you say salad is for women only is because most men i.e. not chefs or high rollers, before you complain, but your average British bloke, doesn't know the first thing about food. So they make the rash assumption that anything that doesn't have a parent isn't worth eating, when this is utter tripe, quite unliterally.
Oranges- these are a pain to open, so I don't see what's wrong with eating tangerines. I love good melon, it's very refreshing and tasty, and cantaloupe melon is quite exquisite. "For obvious reasons"? What obvious reasons? That they're healthy?
Who the hell eats prawn cocktails anyway? I though these were only served in Bernie Inns and Little Chefs, not actual restaurants.
People without taste eat them, male or female.
Don't get me started on the misconceptions surrounding the British interpretation of 'curry': a person with sense likes tasty curries, be they hot, medium or mild. It's the wrong categorisation, pal. Beer should never be drunk with curry, chicken tikka massala isn't even proper curry, it's certainly not Indian, the list goes on.
Quiche, in my opinion, are disgusting. But that's for food reasons, not because I'm too much of a man. Hell, I'd eat bull's testicles if they cooked it right.
I'm not a smoker, but I'd like to know where you stand on Marlboro Lights.
Action are the most boring films ever! I just cannot turn my brain off enough to sit through these tedious, Jerry Bruckheimer-produced, Cruise/Cage-starring pieces of cinematic offal.
Decorating is not something I can say I concern myself with in terms of putting up wallpaper or changing the curtains. But it doesn't mean I can't care about my surroundings.
Moisturiser? There's only one thing I use moisturiser for. And it's not Kilroy.
I could go on forever but this is starting to bore me now, so I won't. But seriously, I hope all this was in jest because if men really think this way, we're going the way of the dodo and dinosaur.
P.S. A proper steak is only a proper steak if it is rare-medium rare, there is no other way of cooking steak. Unless you just want a big chewy hamburger. "Well done, please," is the philistine's choice.
P.P.S. Never explain Monkey Island jokes to the uninformed! They obviously won't get them and those in the know don't like it either! I am rubber, you are glue.
Goatboy wrote:
> Girls like different things to boys.
That’s a given, but I have discovered that
> there are certain things, objects and foods, that are also only for boys and
> girls.
At great personal risk, I have managed to obtain the list from Estrogen
> HQ.
Programmes:
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
This is a girl’s show. To be
> watched only by girls that like a “bit of danger” and think Spike is “cute”.
> These girls are usually straight-laced but bad-at-heart girls that like to
> appear risky but still don’t want to do anything really daring like get a tattoo
> or pierce bits of their face.
If you watch this and are male, there are only
> two excuses:
(a) Your lady watches it and if you didn’t then you wouldn’t get
> any sugar.
(b) You are gay.
And you can’t use the excuse “I watch it because
> Buffy is hot”, because the fact you are watching this show means you either have
> a girlfriend, or you just want to wear her clothes anyway.
I watch this.
SEX IN THE
> CITY
Again, a total girl show.
For women, by women, about women.
Men don’t
> watch this because it’s everything we don’t like in women – it’s bitchy,
> whining, insecure and is invariably about their body shape and shoes and
> stuff.
Total Fem show with no redeeming male interests (and seeing 2 secs of
> boob does not justify the teeth-itching experience of being in a woman’s mind
> for 1hr per week)
I watch this as well.
TOP
> GEAR
Man.
100% male show. If women watch this, it’s because they are lesbians
> or ugly and can’t get any men to live with them and fix their cars for
> them.
It’s about fast cars, and sometimes aeroplanes. This is man territory,
> stay away women.
Top gear is p**
PRAWN COCKTAIL
Woman woman woman woman woman woman
> woman woman. No man alive should have ever ordered one of these, otherwise you
> are a Femmy bloke with soft, luxuriant hair.
I like prawn cocktail, although my hair is quite nice and soft too.
CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA
Woman.
> Typical curry ordered by woman (usually with a white wine), whilst men order
> Jalfrezi and madras and (only to attempted by drunken men in a group)
> Phaal.
Chikken tikka is nice.
> Girls like different things to boys.
That’s a given, but I have discovered that
> there are certain things, objects and foods, that are also only for boys and
> girls.
At great personal risk, I have managed to obtain the list from Estrogen
> HQ.
Programmes:
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
This is a girl’s show. To be
> watched only by girls that like a “bit of danger” and think Spike is “cute”.
> These girls are usually straight-laced but bad-at-heart girls that like to
> appear risky but still don’t want to do anything really daring like get a tattoo
> or pierce bits of their face.
If you watch this and are male, there are only
> two excuses:
(a) Your lady watches it and if you didn’t then you wouldn’t get
> any sugar.
(b) You are gay.
And you can’t use the excuse “I watch it because
> Buffy is hot”, because the fact you are watching this show means you either have
> a girlfriend, or you just want to wear her clothes anyway.
I watch this.
SEX IN THE
> CITY
Again, a total girl show.
For women, by women, about women.
Men don’t
> watch this because it’s everything we don’t like in women – it’s bitchy,
> whining, insecure and is invariably about their body shape and shoes and
> stuff.
Total Fem show with no redeeming male interests (and seeing 2 secs of
> boob does not justify the teeth-itching experience of being in a woman’s mind
> for 1hr per week)
I watch this as well.
TOP
> GEAR
Man.
100% male show. If women watch this, it’s because they are lesbians
> or ugly and can’t get any men to live with them and fix their cars for
> them.
It’s about fast cars, and sometimes aeroplanes. This is man territory,
> stay away women.
Top gear is p**
PRAWN COCKTAIL
Woman woman woman woman woman woman
> woman woman. No man alive should have ever ordered one of these, otherwise you
> are a Femmy bloke with soft, luxuriant hair.
I like prawn cocktail, although my hair is quite nice and soft too.
CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA
Woman.
> Typical curry ordered by woman (usually with a white wine), whilst men order
> Jalfrezi and madras and (only to attempted by drunken men in a group)
> Phaal.
Chikken tikka is nice.
In that case woman went to watch a man taking a dump on someone's lawn, trying to drown a screaming kid and beat himself up.
Man movie I tells ya
Man movie I tells ya
Me Myself and Irene, a bloke movie? Pah, no chance.
Only teenage girls went to see this. I know this, because my sister and 10 of her mates went to see it.
Only teenage girls went to see this. I know this, because my sister and 10 of her mates went to see it.
Films:
WAR FILMS
Man. Without question. Unless it's a "meaningful" war movie where they cry and want to hug each other (Saving Private Ryan etc), then it's a date movie.
Dirty men with guns is a man movie. Loud explosions, grenades, tanks, mortars and men with stubble.
Man movie. Hetero-action entertainment.
COMEDIES
Mixed.
Slapstick are man.
Me, Myself & Irene etc are man.
Romantic Comedies with the insensitive man and well meaning woman that end up together despite various setbacks and almost missing each other in a public place?
Woman.
Verbal comedies (Woody Allen etc) depends on subject matter.
ROMANTIC MOVIES
I don't even need to answer this one do I?
Titanic? Hello, why not call that one "Chick Flick" or "I came to see this with you woman, so you'd best be putting out later"
ACTION
Man.
Karate-wielding,lone vigilante, slow talking action hero means man movie.
But some women like Jean-Claude Van Damme movies because he gets his buttocks out and does the splits.
This is the same reason that men don't like his movies after Bloodsport and Kickboxer.
We dont want to see "Man Ass", we want fighting.
SCI-FI
Man films.
Because technology and women dont mix.
Blasters, robots, evil supervillains destroying planets?
All domain of the male mindset (Freudians can keep schtum here ok?)
WAR FILMS
Man. Without question. Unless it's a "meaningful" war movie where they cry and want to hug each other (Saving Private Ryan etc), then it's a date movie.
Dirty men with guns is a man movie. Loud explosions, grenades, tanks, mortars and men with stubble.
Man movie. Hetero-action entertainment.
COMEDIES
Mixed.
Slapstick are man.
Me, Myself & Irene etc are man.
Romantic Comedies with the insensitive man and well meaning woman that end up together despite various setbacks and almost missing each other in a public place?
Woman.
Verbal comedies (Woody Allen etc) depends on subject matter.
ROMANTIC MOVIES
I don't even need to answer this one do I?
Titanic? Hello, why not call that one "Chick Flick" or "I came to see this with you woman, so you'd best be putting out later"
ACTION
Man.
Karate-wielding,lone vigilante, slow talking action hero means man movie.
But some women like Jean-Claude Van Damme movies because he gets his buttocks out and does the splits.
This is the same reason that men don't like his movies after Bloodsport and Kickboxer.
We dont want to see "Man Ass", we want fighting.
SCI-FI
Man films.
Because technology and women dont mix.
Blasters, robots, evil supervillains destroying planets?
All domain of the male mindset (Freudians can keep schtum here ok?)
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