Viewing Thread:
"Dissecting the Kerrang TV top 10"

Number 10: "Fake Sound of Progress" by the Lost Prophets

It sounds like "Na na naaa na na" they tell us. It in no way involves boyos from the Welsh valleys singing in American accents, oh no, that's not a step back at all. They sing and they jump around a bit wearing shoes. Now that's innovation.

Happy verdict: 4/10

Number 9: "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden

Yay! Old metal! Ah, except it's Iron Maiden, a band who have successfully dodged being cool with a deftness not seen since Julio Iglesias. Bruce Dickinson sings like a girl. Don't just run to the hills, run as far as you can to get away from this one.

HV: 2/10

Number 8: "Toxicity" by System of a Down

There's about 50 time changes in the first minute and so it sounds more mental than metal (in a good way). And the guitar intro sounds like part of "Vancouver" by Jeff Buckley. It's like they recorded a normal song and then had a team of monkeys mix it. And so it rocks!

HV: 8/10

Number 7: "The Power" H-Blockx

This song conatins more throwaway filler phrases than any other song in the history of music. Interspersed between the assortment of "What what what"s and "yeah"s and self name checking are some choice lyrics like "Maniac, Brainiac, I'm the lyrical Jesse James". Yes, Jesse James was a cowboy and so had zero lyrical ability, just like yourself mr.singer. The singer looks like a fat Mike Patton, and in the video he does a Blue-Velvet-Dennis-Hopper-sucking-oxygen impression for no reason at all. The song's so bad that it must have been made so deliberately. I want more fat-Mike-Patton more!

HV: 10/10

Number 6: "How You Remind Me" by Nickleback

Boring guitar riff? Check!
Bland vocals? Check!
Lack of originality? Check!
Welcome to Nickleback's world. The singer is hurt, you know, emotionally. By a girl. We should force that girl to stand trial for the resulting infliction upon our senses of boring, lifeless lift music-rock.

HV: 3/10

Number 5: "My Sacrifice" by Creed

Creed set themselves the challenge of hackneyising an initially interesting guitar intro, and they rise to the challenge with gusto, producing another insipid three minutes of death-by-boredom christian rock. Listen to the die-hard Christians Creed fans; the only rock in Christianity is Peter, so lets have Creed stoned or something.

HV: 2/10

Number 4: "Crazy" by Sugarcoma

"Nu-metal-by-numbers band prove individuality in ironic Britney Spears covering shocker" or not. This song sucks like a vacuum. And that singer has worrying shouting capacity, doesn't she know that it's just not feminine? She would be a good replacement for the dog in sheep racing trials, as she could scream the sheep into their fences. However, great sheep dogs do not great nu-metal singers make. Can't someone do a deathmetal version of "Yellow" instead?

HV: 1/10

Number 3: "Stupid Kid" by the Alkaline Trio

Intelligent pop-punk-rock. (see intelligent members of Spice Girls for a comparison bench mark)

HV: 6/10

Number 2: "It's going Down" by the X-Ecutioners

So, you're a mediocre coterie of turn-tablists and you want to be famous.. what do you do? Yes, you get Linkin Park to make your fairly boring stuff really hip with the cool individual kids in Linkin Park hoodies. Also of note is the Linkin Park rapper proving his lyrical dexterity:

The combination of a vocal caress
With lungs that gasp for breath
From emotional stress
With special effects

"Emotion stress with special effects" - he's summed up the entire nu-metal genre in a sentence. Top marks for succinctness, nowt for anything else.

HV: 0/10

Number 1: "Tainted Love" by Marilyn Manson

Marilyn Manson makes music for outsiders you know. If you listen to Marilyn you are angry and alone and ooohhhhh so individual. And you rebel by painting your nails black and wearing make-up when you're a *gasps* boy. Tainted Love is a cover of the Soft Cell song, and Manson goths it up and puts it on a movie soundtrack, netting him millions in royalties and money from all of the alternative kiddos. But surely alternative implies a minority, and when a song aims for number one in the UK charts it can hardly be a minority thing can it? Tainted Love: music for people who have to tidy their goddam bedroom or be grounded for a whole damn day and that is like so unfair because Mummy and Daddy won't give me pocket money.

HV: 2/10
------
Overall:

It's just a personal opinion, but Kerrang TV sucks.

Far rule!

My dad got me both their albums when he was in London, and they rock...

Tin cans is my current favourite, with possibly the best opening six songs of any album ever, but I can see Water & Solutions growing on me.

So far all the songs are wonderfully shapeless, but as I listen to it more they will all develop their own individuality and I'll be able to say which I like best. I think the last album I bought that did that for me was "Superunknown" by Sound Garden and I bought that about 6 months ago. I've bought albums in betwen that I have loved immediately, like "Thriller", but they've covered familiar ground; I like hearing something and having to explore it.

I know that sounds weird, but it's cool when you get into an album. I still listen to my Sound Garden album regularly as I've never got bored it and I can see the same happening with my Far albums... I might go and listen to some now...

"There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink
Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink"


Oh god...just read that and its bad. But like everything i'm sure theres a meaning...or maybe not.

Basically Kerrang and Co play what is popular, as popular gets visitors.

Now maybe if they had a larger libary of songs you can actually request by phone or internet then maybe we would see the 'better' songs getting played. Then they will get popular....hmmm good thing?

I'm afraid to say it but popularity is bad for rock, sad but true. It's us listeners that are making it like this, not you personally but those kids that just go with the trend etc you know what I mean.

Now Private Eye is a good song, I am listening to it now and it IS itelligent Punk, I agree, and his voice is standable unlike Blink one-eighty-two, Sum 41 and all their friends.

Those damn channels, play the same bloody songs over and over until it gets stuck in everyone barin so that they are zombified to go and buy the artist's album.

I dislike Iron Maiden on principal, but I don't like many bands of their ilk, so it's not such a slamming indictment as it may appear. The song does have its merits and I can see why people would like. It just doesn't flick my switch.

I do like the Alkaline Trio; I own their album and I do like Stupid Kid, but songs like Private Eye do more for me than Stupid Kid. And a lot of their songs are let down by occasional lyrical monstrosities:

"There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink
Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink"

Maybe I was a little harsh though, I'll notch that up to a 7.5. Alkaline Trio are intelligent Punk-rock, but as I said, the competition is hardly staggering is it? (Sum 41, Blink 182 et al) They write good songs about grown-up things. And I like them.

Mr. Happy wrote:
> grumpy quint wrote:
> mr.happy have you actually sat down and listened to a
> few of these songs?

Yes indeedy.

Which one's do you think I have treated
> unfairly?

iron maiden-run to the hills and alkaline trio-stupid kid

grumpy quint wrote:
> mr.happy have you actually sat down and listened to a few of these songs?

Yes indeedy.

Which one's do you think I have treated unfairly?

This type of music just isn't really my thing, I have listened to lots of music though, so if you tell me which one's you like I might be able to suggest something taht will show you where I'm coming from.

It's only a personal opinion, but this type of music is, in my opinion, the type of music that people feel embarrassed for liking a few years on.

Mouldy Cheese wrote:
> Just remembered I got the Lost Prophets CD today.

I don't mind the Lostprophets that much.. I think the new version of their album sounds much too polished, like the well oiled wheels of capitalism, Fake sound of Progress was much better on the original album. This isn't a snotty, musically snobbish, I own the ORIGINAL lost prophets stuff response, the first version of the album was scuzzier and the songs were comfortably loose, like a nice pair of jeans, the new one has been to the gym and shed those extra pounds that gave it such nice love handles before.

mr.happy have you actually sat down and listened to a few of these songs?

Mr. Happy wrote:
> whose parents won't buy them shoes :_)

That's a smiley for people who have broken their nose

SHEEPY wrote:
> I only ever see that top 10 list when I flick channels.

Kerrang sucks except
> they play old manics stuff so they're alright in my book :)

But how often to they play old stuff?

And they won't play oldish classics like "Everything Must Go" and "Design for Life"...
Manics: The libraries gave us power
Kerrang: Not on here they bloody won't

90% of Kerrangs playlist is for people, as you put it, whose parents won't buy them shoes :_)