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Number 10: "Fake Sound of Progress" by the Lost Prophets
It sounds like "Na na naaa na na" they tell us. It in no way involves boyos from the Welsh valleys singing in American accents, oh no, that's not a step back at all. They sing and they jump around a bit wearing shoes. Now that's innovation.
Happy verdict: 4/10
Number 9: "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden
Yay! Old metal! Ah, except it's Iron Maiden, a band who have successfully dodged being cool with a deftness not seen since Julio Iglesias. Bruce Dickinson sings like a girl. Don't just run to the hills, run as far as you can to get away from this one.
HV: 2/10
Number 8: "Toxicity" by System of a Down
There's about 50 time changes in the first minute and so it sounds more mental than metal (in a good way). And the guitar intro sounds like part of "Vancouver" by Jeff Buckley. It's like they recorded a normal song and then had a team of monkeys mix it. And so it rocks!
HV: 8/10
Number 7: "The Power" H-Blockx
This song conatins more throwaway filler phrases than any other song in the history of music. Interspersed between the assortment of "What what what"s and "yeah"s and self name checking are some choice lyrics like "Maniac, Brainiac, I'm the lyrical Jesse James". Yes, Jesse James was a cowboy and so had zero lyrical ability, just like yourself mr.singer. The singer looks like a fat Mike Patton, and in the video he does a Blue-Velvet-Dennis-Hopper-sucking-oxygen impression for no reason at all. The song's so bad that it must have been made so deliberately. I want more fat-Mike-Patton more!
HV: 10/10
Number 6: "How You Remind Me" by Nickleback
Boring guitar riff? Check!
Bland vocals? Check!
Lack of originality? Check!
Welcome to Nickleback's world. The singer is hurt, you know, emotionally. By a girl. We should force that girl to stand trial for the resulting infliction upon our senses of boring, lifeless lift music-rock.
HV: 3/10
Number 5: "My Sacrifice" by Creed
Creed set themselves the challenge of hackneyising an initially interesting guitar intro, and they rise to the challenge with gusto, producing another insipid three minutes of death-by-boredom christian rock. Listen to the die-hard Christians Creed fans; the only rock in Christianity is Peter, so lets have Creed stoned or something.
HV: 2/10
Number 4: "Crazy" by Sugarcoma
"Nu-metal-by-numbers band prove individuality in ironic Britney Spears covering shocker" or not. This song sucks like a vacuum. And that singer has worrying shouting capacity, doesn't she know that it's just not feminine? She would be a good replacement for the dog in sheep racing trials, as she could scream the sheep into their fences. However, great sheep dogs do not great nu-metal singers make. Can't someone do a deathmetal version of "Yellow" instead?
HV: 1/10
Number 3: "Stupid Kid" by the Alkaline Trio
Intelligent pop-punk-rock. (see intelligent members of Spice Girls for a comparison bench mark)
HV: 6/10
Number 2: "It's going Down" by the X-Ecutioners
So, you're a mediocre coterie of turn-tablists and you want to be famous.. what do you do? Yes, you get Linkin Park to make your fairly boring stuff really hip with the cool individual kids in Linkin Park hoodies. Also of note is the Linkin Park rapper proving his lyrical dexterity:
The combination of a vocal caress
With lungs that gasp for breath
From emotional stress
With special effects
"Emotion stress with special effects" - he's summed up the entire nu-metal genre in a sentence. Top marks for succinctness, nowt for anything else.
HV: 0/10
Number 1: "Tainted Love" by Marilyn Manson
Marilyn Manson makes music for outsiders you know. If you listen to Marilyn you are angry and alone and ooohhhhh so individual. And you rebel by painting your nails black and wearing make-up when you're a *gasps* boy. Tainted Love is a cover of the Soft Cell song, and Manson goths it up and puts it on a movie soundtrack, netting him millions in royalties and money from all of the alternative kiddos. But surely alternative implies a minority, and when a song aims for number one in the UK charts it can hardly be a minority thing can it? Tainted Love: music for people who have to tidy their goddam bedroom or be grounded for a whole damn day and that is like so unfair because Mummy and Daddy won't give me pocket money.
HV: 2/10
------
Overall:
It's just a personal opinion, but Kerrang TV sucks.
It sounds like "Na na naaa na na" they tell us. It in no way involves boyos from the Welsh valleys singing in American accents, oh no, that's not a step back at all. They sing and they jump around a bit wearing shoes. Now that's innovation.
Happy verdict: 4/10
Number 9: "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden
Yay! Old metal! Ah, except it's Iron Maiden, a band who have successfully dodged being cool with a deftness not seen since Julio Iglesias. Bruce Dickinson sings like a girl. Don't just run to the hills, run as far as you can to get away from this one.
HV: 2/10
Number 8: "Toxicity" by System of a Down
There's about 50 time changes in the first minute and so it sounds more mental than metal (in a good way). And the guitar intro sounds like part of "Vancouver" by Jeff Buckley. It's like they recorded a normal song and then had a team of monkeys mix it. And so it rocks!
HV: 8/10
Number 7: "The Power" H-Blockx
This song conatins more throwaway filler phrases than any other song in the history of music. Interspersed between the assortment of "What what what"s and "yeah"s and self name checking are some choice lyrics like "Maniac, Brainiac, I'm the lyrical Jesse James". Yes, Jesse James was a cowboy and so had zero lyrical ability, just like yourself mr.singer. The singer looks like a fat Mike Patton, and in the video he does a Blue-Velvet-Dennis-Hopper-sucking-oxygen impression for no reason at all. The song's so bad that it must have been made so deliberately. I want more fat-Mike-Patton more!
HV: 10/10
Number 6: "How You Remind Me" by Nickleback
Boring guitar riff? Check!
Bland vocals? Check!
Lack of originality? Check!
Welcome to Nickleback's world. The singer is hurt, you know, emotionally. By a girl. We should force that girl to stand trial for the resulting infliction upon our senses of boring, lifeless lift music-rock.
HV: 3/10
Number 5: "My Sacrifice" by Creed
Creed set themselves the challenge of hackneyising an initially interesting guitar intro, and they rise to the challenge with gusto, producing another insipid three minutes of death-by-boredom christian rock. Listen to the die-hard Christians Creed fans; the only rock in Christianity is Peter, so lets have Creed stoned or something.
HV: 2/10
Number 4: "Crazy" by Sugarcoma
"Nu-metal-by-numbers band prove individuality in ironic Britney Spears covering shocker" or not. This song sucks like a vacuum. And that singer has worrying shouting capacity, doesn't she know that it's just not feminine? She would be a good replacement for the dog in sheep racing trials, as she could scream the sheep into their fences. However, great sheep dogs do not great nu-metal singers make. Can't someone do a deathmetal version of "Yellow" instead?
HV: 1/10
Number 3: "Stupid Kid" by the Alkaline Trio
Intelligent pop-punk-rock. (see intelligent members of Spice Girls for a comparison bench mark)
HV: 6/10
Number 2: "It's going Down" by the X-Ecutioners
So, you're a mediocre coterie of turn-tablists and you want to be famous.. what do you do? Yes, you get Linkin Park to make your fairly boring stuff really hip with the cool individual kids in Linkin Park hoodies. Also of note is the Linkin Park rapper proving his lyrical dexterity:
The combination of a vocal caress
With lungs that gasp for breath
From emotional stress
With special effects
"Emotion stress with special effects" - he's summed up the entire nu-metal genre in a sentence. Top marks for succinctness, nowt for anything else.
HV: 0/10
Number 1: "Tainted Love" by Marilyn Manson
Marilyn Manson makes music for outsiders you know. If you listen to Marilyn you are angry and alone and ooohhhhh so individual. And you rebel by painting your nails black and wearing make-up when you're a *gasps* boy. Tainted Love is a cover of the Soft Cell song, and Manson goths it up and puts it on a movie soundtrack, netting him millions in royalties and money from all of the alternative kiddos. But surely alternative implies a minority, and when a song aims for number one in the UK charts it can hardly be a minority thing can it? Tainted Love: music for people who have to tidy their goddam bedroom or be grounded for a whole damn day and that is like so unfair because Mummy and Daddy won't give me pocket money.
HV: 2/10
------
Overall:
It's just a personal opinion, but Kerrang TV sucks.
Page:
CDouch wrote:
>Blink 41? Whats that a mix of Blink 183 and Sum 41?
Isn't it Blink 182?
>Blink 41? Whats that a mix of Blink 183 and Sum 41?
Isn't it Blink 182?
Mr. Happy wrote:
>
Talk about stating the obvious. He's a leader of
> beardy men...
--
He is? Cool, I wanted us to have a leader.
>
Talk about stating the obvious. He's a leader of
> beardy men...
--
He is? Cool, I wanted us to have a leader.
LOL, it's nice to see plenty of musical reasons as to why all these artists suck!
Sarcasm, by the way.
Sarcasm, by the way.
Just on a side note, the new Nickleback song made me laugh a little:
"I am not a leader of men"
Talk about stating the obvious. He's a leader of beardy men...
"I am not a leader of men"
Talk about stating the obvious. He's a leader of beardy men...
Sibs wrote:
oh, sorry, they do play the occasional Blink 41 video don't they?
Blink 41? Whats that a mix of Blink 183 and Sum 41?
oh, sorry, they do play the occasional Blink 41 video don't they?
Blink 41? Whats that a mix of Blink 183 and Sum 41?
Solskjær_24 wrote:
And to be fair, the Lost Prophets have only
> done one real decent 'nu-metal' style song: 'Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja'.
'The
> Fake Sound of Progress' isn't all that special, and it is just basically a bunch
> of Welsh boys trying to make it big as an American sounding band. There's
> nothing really nu-metal about them - except maybe one bloke pathetically
> screaming in the backgorund!
Like Linkin Park, they've been dubbed a 'boy band'
> recently, and due to the sound of most of their music it's actually quite true!
> But they aren't a boy band, they just act like one - big mistake!
maybe you have a problem with this band because you have never listened to the album. you pre-judgemental idiot.
And to be fair, the Lost Prophets have only
> done one real decent 'nu-metal' style song: 'Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja'.
'The
> Fake Sound of Progress' isn't all that special, and it is just basically a bunch
> of Welsh boys trying to make it big as an American sounding band. There's
> nothing really nu-metal about them - except maybe one bloke pathetically
> screaming in the backgorund!
Like Linkin Park, they've been dubbed a 'boy band'
> recently, and due to the sound of most of their music it's actually quite true!
> But they aren't a boy band, they just act like one - big mistake!
maybe you have a problem with this band because you have never listened to the album. you pre-judgemental idiot.
Hey, that's a good analysis of the top 10!
I think the current top 10 sucks, and people only vote for Marilyn Manson and co. becasue of how they look.
They're music really does suck though.
And what's wrong with Nickelback?? Ok, so maybe 'How You Remind Me' is getting boring now, but that's only becasue it's being fully comercialised on TV and radio every day!
Listen to 'Never Again', much better!
And to be fair, the Lost Prophets have only done one real decent 'nu-metal' style song: 'Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja'.
'The Fake Sound of Progress' isn't all that special, and it is just basically a bunch of Welsh boys trying to make it big as an American sounding band. There's nothing really nu-metal about them - except maybe one bloke pathetically screaming in the backgorund!
Like Linkin Park, they've been dubbed a 'boy band' recently, and due to the sound of most of their music it's actually quite true! But they aren't a boy band, they just act like one - big mistake!
I think the current top 10 sucks, and people only vote for Marilyn Manson and co. becasue of how they look.
They're music really does suck though.
And what's wrong with Nickelback?? Ok, so maybe 'How You Remind Me' is getting boring now, but that's only becasue it's being fully comercialised on TV and radio every day!
Listen to 'Never Again', much better!
And to be fair, the Lost Prophets have only done one real decent 'nu-metal' style song: 'Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja'.
'The Fake Sound of Progress' isn't all that special, and it is just basically a bunch of Welsh boys trying to make it big as an American sounding band. There's nothing really nu-metal about them - except maybe one bloke pathetically screaming in the backgorund!
Like Linkin Park, they've been dubbed a 'boy band' recently, and due to the sound of most of their music it's actually quite true! But they aren't a boy band, they just act like one - big mistake!
Kerrang the magazine sucks in a number of ways. While I respect some of the reviews and opinionsit expresses it's far too easily led.
Take the recent example of the 2 K review they gave to Vex Red. They're now giving the same band loads of cover space to make up for it and praising them in other articles. At least they could show the courage of their convictions.
When NME insults someone on one page and praises them on another it doesn't apologise or make excuses because it's funny. When Kerrang insults a big namer they run scared.
Not too that Kerrang the album has all the bands on that Kerrang the magazine hates, namely Limp Bizkit. The thing I have against Kerrang is its hypocrisy. The biggest example of this is when they sl*g off pop bands. Sure Kerrang, sl*g off Westlife and then on the same page praise Linkin Park.. You don't realise that it's all the same at the end of the day.
Kerrang annoys the hell out of me. Thought the TV channel occasionally plays stuff I like.
(Also the Ozzy Osbourne crappy ballad "Dreamer" becomes amazing and beatles-esque because it's Ozzy, but in reality it's a soppy ballad worthy of any Westlife album. Kerrang = hypocrisy)
Take the recent example of the 2 K review they gave to Vex Red. They're now giving the same band loads of cover space to make up for it and praising them in other articles. At least they could show the courage of their convictions.
When NME insults someone on one page and praises them on another it doesn't apologise or make excuses because it's funny. When Kerrang insults a big namer they run scared.
Not too that Kerrang the album has all the bands on that Kerrang the magazine hates, namely Limp Bizkit. The thing I have against Kerrang is its hypocrisy. The biggest example of this is when they sl*g off pop bands. Sure Kerrang, sl*g off Westlife and then on the same page praise Linkin Park.. You don't realise that it's all the same at the end of the day.
Kerrang annoys the hell out of me. Thought the TV channel occasionally plays stuff I like.
(Also the Ozzy Osbourne crappy ballad "Dreamer" becomes amazing and beatles-esque because it's Ozzy, but in reality it's a soppy ballad worthy of any Westlife album. Kerrang = hypocrisy)
MoJoJoJo wrote:
And that's what it's about
> nowadays - money
Thats right and that sucks.
It's also true for all those nu-metal bands - after the money.
I see smaller bands at gigs play at gigs and play their hearts out, they sweat, scream more meanacingly then any band on Kerrang. They are playing for the music to a small crowd making not much money at all.
Thats something I like to see and thats why I look at all these other bands in such a way.
And that's what it's about
> nowadays - money
Thats right and that sucks.
It's also true for all those nu-metal bands - after the money.
I see smaller bands at gigs play at gigs and play their hearts out, they sweat, scream more meanacingly then any band on Kerrang. They are playing for the music to a small crowd making not much money at all.
Thats something I like to see and thats why I look at all these other bands in such a way.
*clap clap*
totally agree with Sibs there, esspically with the supporting rock thing and random playing.
Evidence of this is that they have a magazine and in this magaizne they review music. Many new bands are rated and reviewed but nonne of these bands are ever seen on Kerrang even if they do have a video and even if Kerrang love them according to their magazine.
totally agree with Sibs there, esspically with the supporting rock thing and random playing.
Evidence of this is that they have a magazine and in this magaizne they review music. Many new bands are rated and reviewed but nonne of these bands are ever seen on Kerrang even if they do have a video and even if Kerrang love them according to their magazine.
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