The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Number 10: "Fake Sound of Progress" by the Lost Prophets
It sounds like "Na na naaa na na" they tell us. It in no way involves boyos from the Welsh valleys singing in American accents, oh no, that's not a step back at all. They sing and they jump around a bit wearing shoes. Now that's innovation.
Happy verdict: 4/10
Number 9: "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden
Yay! Old metal! Ah, except it's Iron Maiden, a band who have successfully dodged being cool with a deftness not seen since Julio Iglesias. Bruce Dickinson sings like a girl. Don't just run to the hills, run as far as you can to get away from this one.
HV: 2/10
Number 8: "Toxicity" by System of a Down
There's about 50 time changes in the first minute and so it sounds more mental than metal (in a good way). And the guitar intro sounds like part of "Vancouver" by Jeff Buckley. It's like they recorded a normal song and then had a team of monkeys mix it. And so it rocks!
HV: 8/10
Number 7: "The Power" H-Blockx
This song conatins more throwaway filler phrases than any other song in the history of music. Interspersed between the assortment of "What what what"s and "yeah"s and self name checking are some choice lyrics like "Maniac, Brainiac, I'm the lyrical Jesse James". Yes, Jesse James was a cowboy and so had zero lyrical ability, just like yourself mr.singer. The singer looks like a fat Mike Patton, and in the video he does a Blue-Velvet-Dennis-Hopper-sucking-oxygen impression for no reason at all. The song's so bad that it must have been made so deliberately. I want more fat-Mike-Patton more!
HV: 10/10
Number 6: "How You Remind Me" by Nickleback
Boring guitar riff? Check!
Bland vocals? Check!
Lack of originality? Check!
Welcome to Nickleback's world. The singer is hurt, you know, emotionally. By a girl. We should force that girl to stand trial for the resulting infliction upon our senses of boring, lifeless lift music-rock.
HV: 3/10
Number 5: "My Sacrifice" by Creed
Creed set themselves the challenge of hackneyising an initially interesting guitar intro, and they rise to the challenge with gusto, producing another insipid three minutes of death-by-boredom christian rock. Listen to the die-hard Christians Creed fans; the only rock in Christianity is Peter, so lets have Creed stoned or something.
HV: 2/10
Number 4: "Crazy" by Sugarcoma
"Nu-metal-by-numbers band prove individuality in ironic Britney Spears covering shocker" or not. This song sucks like a vacuum. And that singer has worrying shouting capacity, doesn't she know that it's just not feminine? She would be a good replacement for the dog in sheep racing trials, as she could scream the sheep into their fences. However, great sheep dogs do not great nu-metal singers make. Can't someone do a deathmetal version of "Yellow" instead?
HV: 1/10
Number 3: "Stupid Kid" by the Alkaline Trio
Intelligent pop-punk-rock. (see intelligent members of Spice Girls for a comparison bench mark)
HV: 6/10
Number 2: "It's going Down" by the X-Ecutioners
So, you're a mediocre coterie of turn-tablists and you want to be famous.. what do you do? Yes, you get Linkin Park to make your fairly boring stuff really hip with the cool individual kids in Linkin Park hoodies. Also of note is the Linkin Park rapper proving his lyrical dexterity:
The combination of a vocal caress
With lungs that gasp for breath
From emotional stress
With special effects
"Emotion stress with special effects" - he's summed up the entire nu-metal genre in a sentence. Top marks for succinctness, nowt for anything else.
HV: 0/10
Number 1: "Tainted Love" by Marilyn Manson
Marilyn Manson makes music for outsiders you know. If you listen to Marilyn you are angry and alone and ooohhhhh so individual. And you rebel by painting your nails black and wearing make-up when you're a *gasps* boy. Tainted Love is a cover of the Soft Cell song, and Manson goths it up and puts it on a movie soundtrack, netting him millions in royalties and money from all of the alternative kiddos. But surely alternative implies a minority, and when a song aims for number one in the UK charts it can hardly be a minority thing can it? Tainted Love: music for people who have to tidy their goddam bedroom or be grounded for a whole damn day and that is like so unfair because Mummy and Daddy won't give me pocket money.
HV: 2/10
------
Overall:
It's just a personal opinion, but Kerrang TV sucks.
It sounds like "Na na naaa na na" they tell us. It in no way involves boyos from the Welsh valleys singing in American accents, oh no, that's not a step back at all. They sing and they jump around a bit wearing shoes. Now that's innovation.
Happy verdict: 4/10
Number 9: "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden
Yay! Old metal! Ah, except it's Iron Maiden, a band who have successfully dodged being cool with a deftness not seen since Julio Iglesias. Bruce Dickinson sings like a girl. Don't just run to the hills, run as far as you can to get away from this one.
HV: 2/10
Number 8: "Toxicity" by System of a Down
There's about 50 time changes in the first minute and so it sounds more mental than metal (in a good way). And the guitar intro sounds like part of "Vancouver" by Jeff Buckley. It's like they recorded a normal song and then had a team of monkeys mix it. And so it rocks!
HV: 8/10
Number 7: "The Power" H-Blockx
This song conatins more throwaway filler phrases than any other song in the history of music. Interspersed between the assortment of "What what what"s and "yeah"s and self name checking are some choice lyrics like "Maniac, Brainiac, I'm the lyrical Jesse James". Yes, Jesse James was a cowboy and so had zero lyrical ability, just like yourself mr.singer. The singer looks like a fat Mike Patton, and in the video he does a Blue-Velvet-Dennis-Hopper-sucking-oxygen impression for no reason at all. The song's so bad that it must have been made so deliberately. I want more fat-Mike-Patton more!
HV: 10/10
Number 6: "How You Remind Me" by Nickleback
Boring guitar riff? Check!
Bland vocals? Check!
Lack of originality? Check!
Welcome to Nickleback's world. The singer is hurt, you know, emotionally. By a girl. We should force that girl to stand trial for the resulting infliction upon our senses of boring, lifeless lift music-rock.
HV: 3/10
Number 5: "My Sacrifice" by Creed
Creed set themselves the challenge of hackneyising an initially interesting guitar intro, and they rise to the challenge with gusto, producing another insipid three minutes of death-by-boredom christian rock. Listen to the die-hard Christians Creed fans; the only rock in Christianity is Peter, so lets have Creed stoned or something.
HV: 2/10
Number 4: "Crazy" by Sugarcoma
"Nu-metal-by-numbers band prove individuality in ironic Britney Spears covering shocker" or not. This song sucks like a vacuum. And that singer has worrying shouting capacity, doesn't she know that it's just not feminine? She would be a good replacement for the dog in sheep racing trials, as she could scream the sheep into their fences. However, great sheep dogs do not great nu-metal singers make. Can't someone do a deathmetal version of "Yellow" instead?
HV: 1/10
Number 3: "Stupid Kid" by the Alkaline Trio
Intelligent pop-punk-rock. (see intelligent members of Spice Girls for a comparison bench mark)
HV: 6/10
Number 2: "It's going Down" by the X-Ecutioners
So, you're a mediocre coterie of turn-tablists and you want to be famous.. what do you do? Yes, you get Linkin Park to make your fairly boring stuff really hip with the cool individual kids in Linkin Park hoodies. Also of note is the Linkin Park rapper proving his lyrical dexterity:
The combination of a vocal caress
With lungs that gasp for breath
From emotional stress
With special effects
"Emotion stress with special effects" - he's summed up the entire nu-metal genre in a sentence. Top marks for succinctness, nowt for anything else.
HV: 0/10
Number 1: "Tainted Love" by Marilyn Manson
Marilyn Manson makes music for outsiders you know. If you listen to Marilyn you are angry and alone and ooohhhhh so individual. And you rebel by painting your nails black and wearing make-up when you're a *gasps* boy. Tainted Love is a cover of the Soft Cell song, and Manson goths it up and puts it on a movie soundtrack, netting him millions in royalties and money from all of the alternative kiddos. But surely alternative implies a minority, and when a song aims for number one in the UK charts it can hardly be a minority thing can it? Tainted Love: music for people who have to tidy their goddam bedroom or be grounded for a whole damn day and that is like so unfair because Mummy and Daddy won't give me pocket money.
HV: 2/10
------
Overall:
It's just a personal opinion, but Kerrang TV sucks.
Page:
Small Frog wrote:
> Sibs wrote:
Anyhow, I meant it like
> Kerrang occasionaly play Blink 182,
> Sum 41 and other pop punk stuff- ie.
> generally no brain
> pop-punk...
And, obviously, all other rock genres are very mentally
> stimulating, challenging their listeners on almost every level?
:)
Not necessarily, but very often Sum41 or Blink lyrics (if for example, you just read the lyric sheet) could be mistaken for the latest Britney single... (well except the swearing...)
Anyhow, listen to some Anti-Flag, and then criticise... A lot of punk bands have decent thought provoking lyrics.
> Sibs wrote:
Anyhow, I meant it like
> Kerrang occasionaly play Blink 182,
> Sum 41 and other pop punk stuff- ie.
> generally no brain
> pop-punk...
And, obviously, all other rock genres are very mentally
> stimulating, challenging their listeners on almost every level?
:)
Not necessarily, but very often Sum41 or Blink lyrics (if for example, you just read the lyric sheet) could be mistaken for the latest Britney single... (well except the swearing...)
Anyhow, listen to some Anti-Flag, and then criticise... A lot of punk bands have decent thought provoking lyrics.
Sliplimp and Roachkin, lol!
Sibs wrote:
Anyhow, I meant it like
> Kerrang occasionaly play Blink 182, Sum 41 and other pop punk stuff- ie.
> generally no brain pop-punk...
And, obviously, all other rock genres are very mentally stimulating, challenging their listeners on almost every level?
:)
Anyhow, I meant it like
> Kerrang occasionaly play Blink 182, Sum 41 and other pop punk stuff- ie.
> generally no brain pop-punk...
And, obviously, all other rock genres are very mentally stimulating, challenging their listeners on almost every level?
:)
Weird Kid wrote:
> Sibs can you recommend any good songs worth a download please, your favourites
> at the moment?
erm... at the moment, I'd have to go with '911 For Peace' by Anti-Flag, and some stuff by Tribute To Nothing... 'Straight Line' and 'Easy Target' are good.
I'm also just listening to the Vandals- perfect up beat punk for the school holidays! 'Ape Drape', 'My Girlfriends Dead' and 'An Idea For A Movie' are some of the best... 'Behind the Music' is also very cool.
Oh and get some music by a band called Farse! They are good too... I'll stop there or I'll go on all day!
> Sibs can you recommend any good songs worth a download please, your favourites
> at the moment?
erm... at the moment, I'd have to go with '911 For Peace' by Anti-Flag, and some stuff by Tribute To Nothing... 'Straight Line' and 'Easy Target' are good.
I'm also just listening to the Vandals- perfect up beat punk for the school holidays! 'Ape Drape', 'My Girlfriends Dead' and 'An Idea For A Movie' are some of the best... 'Behind the Music' is also very cool.
Oh and get some music by a band called Farse! They are good too... I'll stop there or I'll go on all day!
Have you heard what they're doing to celebrate KerrangTV's first birthday... They're only palying number ones from the Kerrang charts over the past year.
Good God.
As if they weren't enough Sliplimp Roachkin 4182...
Good God.
As if they weren't enough Sliplimp Roachkin 4182...
MoJoJoJo wrote:
> What, and ignore bands like Creed, A, Staind, Linkin Park etc? That's a good way
> of killing viewing figures and losing money
And that's what it's about
> nowadays - money
And that is why it sucks- it isn't about the music for Kerrang, they are in it for the money, and becasue of that they only want to play the stuff that is popular (but still want to maintain the 'rebel' image) so only play stuff of the biggest rock genre ... at the moment Nu-metal. If that suddenly changed and some other rock genre got bigger they'd jump right on the bandwagon.
> What, and ignore bands like Creed, A, Staind, Linkin Park etc? That's a good way
> of killing viewing figures and losing money
And that's what it's about
> nowadays - money
And that is why it sucks- it isn't about the music for Kerrang, they are in it for the money, and becasue of that they only want to play the stuff that is popular (but still want to maintain the 'rebel' image) so only play stuff of the biggest rock genre ... at the moment Nu-metal. If that suddenly changed and some other rock genre got bigger they'd jump right on the bandwagon.
Lol, oops my bad, I messed up too. Last time I correct someones typing mistake.
CDouch wrote:
> Sibs wrote:
oh, sorry, they do play the occasional Blink 41 video don't
> they?
Blink 41? Whats that a mix of Blink 183 and Sum 41?
Blink183? yourcorrection is wrong! :D
Anyhow, I meant it like Kerrang occasionaly play Blink 182, Sum 41 and other pop punk stuff- ie. generally no brain pop-punk...
> Sibs wrote:
oh, sorry, they do play the occasional Blink 41 video don't
> they?
Blink 41? Whats that a mix of Blink 183 and Sum 41?
Blink183? yourcorrection is wrong! :D
Anyhow, I meant it like Kerrang occasionaly play Blink 182, Sum 41 and other pop punk stuff- ie. generally no brain pop-punk...
Page: