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A Sunday afternoon spent waiting in a computer store for the simian to work the till out.
And me and my mate spent the drive home ranting about how most people shouldn’t be allowed out and we came to the following conclusions:
As a scientist, he will forgo his endless quest for superpowers by mixing chemicals and falling into vats of bubbling stuff and now intends to create a formula that will eliminate stupid people.
You have nothing to fear unless you fall into the following categories:
You migrate to DIY stores for “things for the house” on a Sunday, and spend 20 minutes looking at curtain rods going “ooh nice”
You name your house, despite living on an estate somewhere you still put a plaque up that says “Little Cottage” and insist your mail is addressed just so.
You put neo-classical roman columns outside your semi-detached house with a name
You have stained glass windows, those little round ones with a bird in the middle.
You drive a Fiesta/Uno/Nova and think by removing the name badge, blacking the windows out and having neon on it, you are cool and sexy.
You listen to those in-car CDs that only seem to have buzzing bass and 180bpm drum machines on, and you leave the door open whilst you stand with your chimp mates in a car-park of a fast food restaurant.
You have a squat dangerous dog called “Savage” or “Vinnie Jones” that you let wobble out your estate after dark, then spend 20 mins standing on your doorstep at 11pm shouting it’s name and kicking it when it runs past you with a limb in it’s mouth.
Your idea of eating out is going to a place where they have pictures of the food on the menu and it’s coated in easy-wipe plastic.
---
There are more categories, but I forgot them already.
And me and my mate spent the drive home ranting about how most people shouldn’t be allowed out and we came to the following conclusions:
As a scientist, he will forgo his endless quest for superpowers by mixing chemicals and falling into vats of bubbling stuff and now intends to create a formula that will eliminate stupid people.
You have nothing to fear unless you fall into the following categories:
You migrate to DIY stores for “things for the house” on a Sunday, and spend 20 minutes looking at curtain rods going “ooh nice”
You name your house, despite living on an estate somewhere you still put a plaque up that says “Little Cottage” and insist your mail is addressed just so.
You put neo-classical roman columns outside your semi-detached house with a name
You have stained glass windows, those little round ones with a bird in the middle.
You drive a Fiesta/Uno/Nova and think by removing the name badge, blacking the windows out and having neon on it, you are cool and sexy.
You listen to those in-car CDs that only seem to have buzzing bass and 180bpm drum machines on, and you leave the door open whilst you stand with your chimp mates in a car-park of a fast food restaurant.
You have a squat dangerous dog called “Savage” or “Vinnie Jones” that you let wobble out your estate after dark, then spend 20 mins standing on your doorstep at 11pm shouting it’s name and kicking it when it runs past you with a limb in it’s mouth.
Your idea of eating out is going to a place where they have pictures of the food on the menu and it’s coated in easy-wipe plastic.
---
There are more categories, but I forgot them already.
Page:
A Sunday afternoon spent waiting in a computer store for the simian to work the till out.
And me and my mate spent the drive home ranting about how most people shouldn’t be allowed out and we came to the following conclusions:
As a scientist, he will forgo his endless quest for superpowers by mixing chemicals and falling into vats of bubbling stuff and now intends to create a formula that will eliminate stupid people.
You have nothing to fear unless you fall into the following categories:
You migrate to DIY stores for “things for the house” on a Sunday, and spend 20 minutes looking at curtain rods going “ooh nice”
You name your house, despite living on an estate somewhere you still put a plaque up that says “Little Cottage” and insist your mail is addressed just so.
You put neo-classical roman columns outside your semi-detached house with a name
You have stained glass windows, those little round ones with a bird in the middle.
You drive a Fiesta/Uno/Nova and think by removing the name badge, blacking the windows out and having neon on it, you are cool and sexy.
You listen to those in-car CDs that only seem to have buzzing bass and 180bpm drum machines on, and you leave the door open whilst you stand with your chimp mates in a car-park of a fast food restaurant.
You have a squat dangerous dog called “Savage” or “Vinnie Jones” that you let wobble out your estate after dark, then spend 20 mins standing on your doorstep at 11pm shouting it’s name and kicking it when it runs past you with a limb in it’s mouth.
Your idea of eating out is going to a place where they have pictures of the food on the menu and it’s coated in easy-wipe plastic.
---
There are more categories, but I forgot them already.
And me and my mate spent the drive home ranting about how most people shouldn’t be allowed out and we came to the following conclusions:
As a scientist, he will forgo his endless quest for superpowers by mixing chemicals and falling into vats of bubbling stuff and now intends to create a formula that will eliminate stupid people.
You have nothing to fear unless you fall into the following categories:
You migrate to DIY stores for “things for the house” on a Sunday, and spend 20 minutes looking at curtain rods going “ooh nice”
You name your house, despite living on an estate somewhere you still put a plaque up that says “Little Cottage” and insist your mail is addressed just so.
You put neo-classical roman columns outside your semi-detached house with a name
You have stained glass windows, those little round ones with a bird in the middle.
You drive a Fiesta/Uno/Nova and think by removing the name badge, blacking the windows out and having neon on it, you are cool and sexy.
You listen to those in-car CDs that only seem to have buzzing bass and 180bpm drum machines on, and you leave the door open whilst you stand with your chimp mates in a car-park of a fast food restaurant.
You have a squat dangerous dog called “Savage” or “Vinnie Jones” that you let wobble out your estate after dark, then spend 20 mins standing on your doorstep at 11pm shouting it’s name and kicking it when it runs past you with a limb in it’s mouth.
Your idea of eating out is going to a place where they have pictures of the food on the menu and it’s coated in easy-wipe plastic.
---
There are more categories, but I forgot them already.
Heheheheh@Hooplah
Goatboy wrote:
You migrate to DIY stores for “things for the house” on
> a Sunday, and spend 20 minutes looking at curtain rods going “ooh nice”
Heh, I was in Homebase on Sunday. I didn't look at curtain rods though, I just bought some storage boxes.
Your idea of
> eating out is going to a place where they have pictures of the food on the menu
> and it’s coated in easy-wipe plastic.
Chili's have pictures of the desserts on their menu. I like Chili's.
---
How about:
People in call centres that have to ask a supervisor if you wander ever so slightly from their pre-defined script.
People that try to get on a tube train as the doors are closing, after the driver has said "Stand clear of the door please"
BUT we need people to serve us food.
You migrate to DIY stores for “things for the house” on
> a Sunday, and spend 20 minutes looking at curtain rods going “ooh nice”
Heh, I was in Homebase on Sunday. I didn't look at curtain rods though, I just bought some storage boxes.
Your idea of
> eating out is going to a place where they have pictures of the food on the menu
> and it’s coated in easy-wipe plastic.
Chili's have pictures of the desserts on their menu. I like Chili's.
---
How about:
People in call centres that have to ask a supervisor if you wander ever so slightly from their pre-defined script.
People that try to get on a tube train as the doors are closing, after the driver has said "Stand clear of the door please"
BUT we need people to serve us food.
Which is why wearing a plastic tag with your name on makes you immune to the formula,which I will introduce to reservoirs at some point.
Tallulah wrote:
> No, no, come on, you cant just 'forget' the rest of the catergories, I want to
> know the rest of them!
Ok Miss, let me go smoke a ciggy and I'll get right back.
("smoke a ciggy"...that sounded camp.)
> No, no, come on, you cant just 'forget' the rest of the catergories, I want to
> know the rest of them!
Ok Miss, let me go smoke a ciggy and I'll get right back.
("smoke a ciggy"...that sounded camp.)
Goatboy wrote:
("smoke a ciggy"...that
> sounded camp.)
It did indeed, Mr. Gay Boot.
("smoke a ciggy"...that
> sounded camp.)
It did indeed, Mr. Gay Boot.
Oooerr... I only call him Gay Boot cause it's an anagram of Goatyboy :-D
Best anagram from rastaBillySkank is, A kinky bra stalls. Bloody brilliant :-D
Best anagram from rastaBillySkank is, A kinky bra stalls. Bloody brilliant :-D
Tallulah wrote:
> Yer, NancyBoy is a more fitting moniker, I reckon.
-
You have discovered my alter-ego?
Curse you vile woman
*shakes fist in non-threatening manner*
I am Nancyboy!
The ability to decorate in fitting pastel shades!
Able to leap clashing shoe/pant combos in a single bound!
Faster than a secretary dashing to Cafe Nero on her lunchbreak!
> Yer, NancyBoy is a more fitting moniker, I reckon.
-
You have discovered my alter-ego?
Curse you vile woman
*shakes fist in non-threatening manner*
I am Nancyboy!
The ability to decorate in fitting pastel shades!
Able to leap clashing shoe/pant combos in a single bound!
Faster than a secretary dashing to Cafe Nero on her lunchbreak!
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