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*PLEASE NOTE-ALL CREDIT FOR AMUSING TITLE GOES TO GRIX THRAVES*
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Stryke took another swig of whisky. He closed his eyes and sighed as the cool liquid travelled down his body, and damaged his liver. He knew it wouldn’t do him any good, but he didn’t care.
He stepped out from the bar, which he also knew as home, and was greeted by the evil stench of pollution. He walked down the busy streets, full of all kinds of people, most of them in rags. He was used to it by now though. The drink, drugs, prostitution, illness-it was just a daily occurrence. He heard a strange grunt from an alley, and glanced towards it’s source. He regretted it, and quickly carried on his way.
“Hey, Stryke! Over here!”
Stryke looked to his left, and saw Your Honour sitting in a Ford Escort on the side of the road. He hurried over to him, struggled to open the extremely rusty door and joined YH.
“You still got one of these? Everyone’s going round in those hover-carts now, why don’t you ya old fart?”
“Those hover-carts use petrol as well.” YH said a matter-of-factly.
“And?”
“Well, I’d prefer to be down here on the ground if I run out.” He replied, bluntly.
YH started the engine.
10 minutes later…
The car revved up, and they finally got away.
“You been watching the news?” Stryke asked between gulps of whiskey.
“Nah, I prefer Robots From Hell.”
“Well, Lord VenomByte’s planning some sort of expedition.” Stryke told him.
“Really? Where to?”
“Dunno, but I heard it’s somewhere dangerous, and he wants to try and find this necklace. It’s all powerful or something. Supposedly, his magic skills have been waning as of late. He tried to clean the whole palace using magic the other day, and ended up destroying the bathroom.”
“Oh, right. Well, I would watch the news to hear more about it, but today’s Robots From Hell is about Tony Rainbird’s experience with a rebellious 220-Series. Very interesting…”
They continued to drive through the bustling city, not knowing exactly where they were going. Fortunately, before they had driven up to the huge impending hole in the road which they had no idea was there, something caught their attention. A big crowd was gathering around something…or someone. Smoke was coming from somewhere, but it wasn’t a fire.
“Wanna check it out?” YH asked.
Stryke nodded, and as the Escort coughed to a stop, they jumped out and headed over to…whatever was going on over there.
_____________________________
Stryke took another swig of whisky. He closed his eyes and sighed as the cool liquid travelled down his body, and damaged his liver. He knew it wouldn’t do him any good, but he didn’t care.
He stepped out from the bar, which he also knew as home, and was greeted by the evil stench of pollution. He walked down the busy streets, full of all kinds of people, most of them in rags. He was used to it by now though. The drink, drugs, prostitution, illness-it was just a daily occurrence. He heard a strange grunt from an alley, and glanced towards it’s source. He regretted it, and quickly carried on his way.
“Hey, Stryke! Over here!”
Stryke looked to his left, and saw Your Honour sitting in a Ford Escort on the side of the road. He hurried over to him, struggled to open the extremely rusty door and joined YH.
“You still got one of these? Everyone’s going round in those hover-carts now, why don’t you ya old fart?”
“Those hover-carts use petrol as well.” YH said a matter-of-factly.
“And?”
“Well, I’d prefer to be down here on the ground if I run out.” He replied, bluntly.
YH started the engine.
10 minutes later…
The car revved up, and they finally got away.
“You been watching the news?” Stryke asked between gulps of whiskey.
“Nah, I prefer Robots From Hell.”
“Well, Lord VenomByte’s planning some sort of expedition.” Stryke told him.
“Really? Where to?”
“Dunno, but I heard it’s somewhere dangerous, and he wants to try and find this necklace. It’s all powerful or something. Supposedly, his magic skills have been waning as of late. He tried to clean the whole palace using magic the other day, and ended up destroying the bathroom.”
“Oh, right. Well, I would watch the news to hear more about it, but today’s Robots From Hell is about Tony Rainbird’s experience with a rebellious 220-Series. Very interesting…”
They continued to drive through the bustling city, not knowing exactly where they were going. Fortunately, before they had driven up to the huge impending hole in the road which they had no idea was there, something caught their attention. A big crowd was gathering around something…or someone. Smoke was coming from somewhere, but it wasn’t a fire.
“Wanna check it out?” YH asked.
Stryke nodded, and as the Escort coughed to a stop, they jumped out and headed over to…whatever was going on over there.
Page:
Stryke, YH and er-no were thrown off their chairs as the ship lurched. Snake just pulled a cigarette out and lit up.
"Git." said Stryke, towards him.
"What the hell was that?"
"Iceberg?"
"Nah, been done. C'mon, let's go find out."
They ran out the door. Snake, after a few drags, shrugged and followed them.
--
"Ms Mystique does not like to be touched." said one bouncer, hitting Sheepy.
"Ms Mystique does not like you." said the other.
"Ms Mystique does not like your loud Hawaiain shirt. Neither do we." He hit Sheepy again.
YH ran up, and looked in horror at the bouncers. Stryke skidded do a half, as did er-no. Snake wandered over, still smoking.
"Ms Mystique does not like smo.." started one bouncer, before falling backwards with a knife through his shoulder. Snake stepped forward and hit the other one through the wall. Inside, Mystique screamed and ran out, grabbing a top as she did.
"Hey, he does something!" said Sheepy, smiling. "Thanks Snake."
Snake shrugged. He had lost his cigarette in them melee. "Damn."
They set off, with Sheepy back in tow.
--
Captain Smythe of the Air Force sat at his plane, lovingly patting it. Ant and Goatboy ran up, panting.
"We need your plane. Get out."
"A gentleman does not get out of his plane!" protested Smythe.
"HAIII! WAAIII.." began Goatboy, before Ant told him to shut up.
Dr Satrona wandered up.
"Hello Captain Smythe. Do you have an obsession with planes? Perhaps an early experience? Toy planes, was it?"
Symthe look bemused, but one eye watered.
"That's it, isn't it? Toy planes. Did you have any? Did other kids have bigger ones?"
Smythe covered his eyes.
"The other kids had bigger ones, is that it? Come on, let it out."
Smythe climbed out of his plane, and threw his arms round Dr Satrona.
"THEY ALL MADE FUN OF ME!" he sobbed, wildly. Dr Satrona patted him vaguely on the shoulder.
"Yes, kids can be cruel. Did you ever have a toy plane?"
"THEY BR-R-ROKE..IT!" howled Smythe.
"There there. They are other toy planes. But you want this one, is that it? Let it out out now."
Smythe cried endlessly. Satrona waved to Ant and Goatboy, who nodded and smiled, and climbed in the plane.
"Who was he then?" asked Goatboy as the took off.
"I have no idea." shrugged Ant. "Where to?"
"We go to.....HUNGARY!" shouted Goatboy.
"But the cave is in Romania."
Goatboy readjusted smoothly. "We go to....ROMANIA!"
Then the plane started chugging.
"Damn, uncertain amount of fuel. Told you." groaned Ant...
"Git." said Stryke, towards him.
"What the hell was that?"
"Iceberg?"
"Nah, been done. C'mon, let's go find out."
They ran out the door. Snake, after a few drags, shrugged and followed them.
--
"Ms Mystique does not like to be touched." said one bouncer, hitting Sheepy.
"Ms Mystique does not like you." said the other.
"Ms Mystique does not like your loud Hawaiain shirt. Neither do we." He hit Sheepy again.
YH ran up, and looked in horror at the bouncers. Stryke skidded do a half, as did er-no. Snake wandered over, still smoking.
"Ms Mystique does not like smo.." started one bouncer, before falling backwards with a knife through his shoulder. Snake stepped forward and hit the other one through the wall. Inside, Mystique screamed and ran out, grabbing a top as she did.
"Hey, he does something!" said Sheepy, smiling. "Thanks Snake."
Snake shrugged. He had lost his cigarette in them melee. "Damn."
They set off, with Sheepy back in tow.
--
Captain Smythe of the Air Force sat at his plane, lovingly patting it. Ant and Goatboy ran up, panting.
"We need your plane. Get out."
"A gentleman does not get out of his plane!" protested Smythe.
"HAIII! WAAIII.." began Goatboy, before Ant told him to shut up.
Dr Satrona wandered up.
"Hello Captain Smythe. Do you have an obsession with planes? Perhaps an early experience? Toy planes, was it?"
Symthe look bemused, but one eye watered.
"That's it, isn't it? Toy planes. Did you have any? Did other kids have bigger ones?"
Smythe covered his eyes.
"The other kids had bigger ones, is that it? Come on, let it out."
Smythe climbed out of his plane, and threw his arms round Dr Satrona.
"THEY ALL MADE FUN OF ME!" he sobbed, wildly. Dr Satrona patted him vaguely on the shoulder.
"Yes, kids can be cruel. Did you ever have a toy plane?"
"THEY BR-R-ROKE..IT!" howled Smythe.
"There there. They are other toy planes. But you want this one, is that it? Let it out out now."
Smythe cried endlessly. Satrona waved to Ant and Goatboy, who nodded and smiled, and climbed in the plane.
"Who was he then?" asked Goatboy as the took off.
"I have no idea." shrugged Ant. "Where to?"
"We go to.....HUNGARY!" shouted Goatboy.
"But the cave is in Romania."
Goatboy readjusted smoothly. "We go to....ROMANIA!"
Then the plane started chugging.
"Damn, uncertain amount of fuel. Told you." groaned Ant...
Captain Sniper was in his quarters, double checking their co-ordinates. Pointless really, as they were satellite guided, but a captain was supposed to do these things.
There came a knock at the door. It was one of the cabin crew. The young cabin hand spoke, slightly nervously. He was new to the job.
"Sorry to bother you, sir. Rear-admiral to see you sir."
"Show him in." replied Sniper.
In walked a tall man dressed in a dark suit. He carried no insignia of rank on him.
"You're a Rear-admiral?" asked Sniper.
"Yes, that's what some people call me" replied the man. "I'm not actually in the navy though. Some people call me a sailor, too."
Sniper groaned.
"What do you want? And be quick about it. I'm a busy man"
The man drew out a revolver from his breast pocket.
"I want to take this ship to Hungary"
"Hungary isn't on a coast."
"B****r. Where's the nearest port to it?"
"From here? Probably at Romania"
"Right" said the man, menacingly. "Take me to Romania"
"That's where we're headed"
"That's it. You're learning fast."
"No, we were going there anyway."
"Damn."
The man said nothing more, and turned and left Sniper in his cabin. He closed the door quietly.
Suddenly, for no apparent reason, all eight floors underneath sniper simultaneously gave way, and sniper fell helpless into the ice cold sea, and was sucked into the turbines under the ship, which proceeded to take in water.
-----------------------
"whaaa....."
*CRASH*
Sheepy fell over backwards in his chair as the table dancer lost her balance and crashed down into him.
The table dancer struggled to get up.
"Oi! Let go of me"
Sheepy was making the most of things. However, this probably wasn't the wisest move he could've made. Very quickly, two rather large bouncers had arrived at the scene, and freed the table dancer. They picked up Sheepy roughly, and slammed him against the wall.
"The rules were made clear to you. No touching! You know what we do to people who break those rules?"
"Give them a stern telling off, and a discount for the next visit?" Sheepy suggested, hopefully.
"No. We break them. Isn't that right Mystique?"
The table dancer nodded.
"Come on, lets get him somewhere where his screams can't be heard."
With that, the two bouncers dragged Sheepy out of the room. Sheepy was really beginning to wish he hadn't gone off on his own.
There came a knock at the door. It was one of the cabin crew. The young cabin hand spoke, slightly nervously. He was new to the job.
"Sorry to bother you, sir. Rear-admiral to see you sir."
"Show him in." replied Sniper.
In walked a tall man dressed in a dark suit. He carried no insignia of rank on him.
"You're a Rear-admiral?" asked Sniper.
"Yes, that's what some people call me" replied the man. "I'm not actually in the navy though. Some people call me a sailor, too."
Sniper groaned.
"What do you want? And be quick about it. I'm a busy man"
The man drew out a revolver from his breast pocket.
"I want to take this ship to Hungary"
"Hungary isn't on a coast."
"B****r. Where's the nearest port to it?"
"From here? Probably at Romania"
"Right" said the man, menacingly. "Take me to Romania"
"That's where we're headed"
"That's it. You're learning fast."
"No, we were going there anyway."
"Damn."
The man said nothing more, and turned and left Sniper in his cabin. He closed the door quietly.
Suddenly, for no apparent reason, all eight floors underneath sniper simultaneously gave way, and sniper fell helpless into the ice cold sea, and was sucked into the turbines under the ship, which proceeded to take in water.
-----------------------
"whaaa....."
*CRASH*
Sheepy fell over backwards in his chair as the table dancer lost her balance and crashed down into him.
The table dancer struggled to get up.
"Oi! Let go of me"
Sheepy was making the most of things. However, this probably wasn't the wisest move he could've made. Very quickly, two rather large bouncers had arrived at the scene, and freed the table dancer. They picked up Sheepy roughly, and slammed him against the wall.
"The rules were made clear to you. No touching! You know what we do to people who break those rules?"
"Give them a stern telling off, and a discount for the next visit?" Sheepy suggested, hopefully.
"No. We break them. Isn't that right Mystique?"
The table dancer nodded.
"Come on, lets get him somewhere where his screams can't be heard."
With that, the two bouncers dragged Sheepy out of the room. Sheepy was really beginning to wish he hadn't gone off on his own.
They tripped up, and hurt their knees, so they headed in a different direction towards their destiny.
"Wow, so you can do martial arts?" asked Ant, eagerly.
"No." said Goatboy, adjusting his braces. "Tony thinks I'm someone else."
"Who?"
"Err..not sure. But I can make noises."said Goatboy hopefully.
"Really." said Ant, in a deadpan voice.
"Yeah! HAAAII! WAAAAII!! UURRAAA!"
"Very impressive. We confront one of the camp guys, and you can scream at them randomly. C'mon, lets go steal a random plane with an uncertain amount of fuel. Nice shellsuit."
"Really?" said Goatboy, hopeful again.
"No."
--
"Rook to C4." said Stryke, and pushed this piece across the board.
"Damn." said Snake, pulled out a gun, and shot the rook over.
"I don't think you quite get this." sighed Stryke.
Snake shrugged, and proceeded to shoot all of Stryke's pieces. He then made a vague victory punch with his fist, and lit up. A waiter hurried up, pointing hurridely at a No-Smoking sign. Snake sighed, and threw the waiter over the side.
"He needs to learn to respect rules." commented YH
"He needs a bloody haircut."
"I need a drink."
Snake sighed as they all walked off, and burst into tears again. Sr Santrona walked over, cigar in hand.
"Thats it, let it all out. Repression, anger, the lot. It's all OK."
Snake hugged the good doctor, sobbing uncontrollably.
"There there."
"Wow, so you can do martial arts?" asked Ant, eagerly.
"No." said Goatboy, adjusting his braces. "Tony thinks I'm someone else."
"Who?"
"Err..not sure. But I can make noises."said Goatboy hopefully.
"Really." said Ant, in a deadpan voice.
"Yeah! HAAAII! WAAAAII!! UURRAAA!"
"Very impressive. We confront one of the camp guys, and you can scream at them randomly. C'mon, lets go steal a random plane with an uncertain amount of fuel. Nice shellsuit."
"Really?" said Goatboy, hopeful again.
"No."
--
"Rook to C4." said Stryke, and pushed this piece across the board.
"Damn." said Snake, pulled out a gun, and shot the rook over.
"I don't think you quite get this." sighed Stryke.
Snake shrugged, and proceeded to shoot all of Stryke's pieces. He then made a vague victory punch with his fist, and lit up. A waiter hurried up, pointing hurridely at a No-Smoking sign. Snake sighed, and threw the waiter over the side.
"He needs to learn to respect rules." commented YH
"He needs a bloody haircut."
"I need a drink."
Snake sighed as they all walked off, and burst into tears again. Sr Santrona walked over, cigar in hand.
"Thats it, let it all out. Repression, anger, the lot. It's all OK."
Snake hugged the good doctor, sobbing uncontrollably.
"There there."
"So, I've got to stop VenomByte getting the necklace?" Ant asked, still confused.
"Yes," Tony replied, taking a swig from a bottle of Toilet Duck.
"Well...is he even going to get it?"
"Oh yes, I forgot one thing. My sources have told me that a group of men, all turning gayer by the minute thanks to Venom, are heading to Translyvania where the necklace is hidden in an underground chamber, guarded by a few trolls."
"Right, so I have to stop them from getting it?"
Tony got to his feet and walked over to a stack of drawers, opening the top one. He pulled out a map, gave it to Ant and said, "here you will be able to find the necklace. You must find your way to Transylvania by your own accord."
"Am I going on my own?"
"No, Goatboy will be going with you. He is trained in the martial arts. With your magic powers and his fighting skills, I'm sure the gays looking for it will be of no trouble. But you must hurry, they are already on their way."
Ant nodded, and he and Goatboy made their way out of the cottage, and towards their destiny...
"Yes," Tony replied, taking a swig from a bottle of Toilet Duck.
"Well...is he even going to get it?"
"Oh yes, I forgot one thing. My sources have told me that a group of men, all turning gayer by the minute thanks to Venom, are heading to Translyvania where the necklace is hidden in an underground chamber, guarded by a few trolls."
"Right, so I have to stop them from getting it?"
Tony got to his feet and walked over to a stack of drawers, opening the top one. He pulled out a map, gave it to Ant and said, "here you will be able to find the necklace. You must find your way to Transylvania by your own accord."
"Am I going on my own?"
"No, Goatboy will be going with you. He is trained in the martial arts. With your magic powers and his fighting skills, I'm sure the gays looking for it will be of no trouble. But you must hurry, they are already on their way."
Ant nodded, and he and Goatboy made their way out of the cottage, and towards their destiny...
Tony the Tiger finsihed telling Ant the story. (Don't worry, it has no bearing on our story. I.e., I couldn't think of anything. Sorry.)
Ant finished the last of his cup of tea.
"So?" He asked.
"What do you mean 'so?'?" Asked Tony.
"Well, what bearing does that have on me?"
"Ah, ok. I shall tell you that bit now." Tony thought for a bit. "What must all rulers make sure they have before they die?"
"Er, I dunno. Oh wait, I do. A child, someone to carry on ruling when they die."
"Correct. And what has Lord Venombyte NOT got." Tony didn't wait for an answer, the sudden expression of understanding on Ants face said it all. "Exactly. Venombyte does not yet have an heir.
"It is becuse of this," Tony continued, "that he cast a very powerful spell a few years ago. Just after you were imprisoned, in fact. It is a spell to make all males homosexual, including himself.
"The longer you are around Venombyte, the more "ooh ducky" you become. He plans to make EVERY MALE gay, so that he can find a wife, and have an heir."
"But if he's gay as well, he won't find the women attractive, surely?" Asked Ant.
"Very true. Which is why he seeks the necklace. Whoever wears the necklace instantly has the spell removed, and are no longer affected by it. Venombyte plans to get this necklace, and then wear it himself.
"He will then be the only straight man in the city. All the women will be so desperate for it after a while, that they will flock to him for a *ahem* "servicing", so to speak. In this way, Venombyte plans to carry on his lineage... FOREVER!"
Ant sat back, and tried to take this all in...
Ant finished the last of his cup of tea.
"So?" He asked.
"What do you mean 'so?'?" Asked Tony.
"Well, what bearing does that have on me?"
"Ah, ok. I shall tell you that bit now." Tony thought for a bit. "What must all rulers make sure they have before they die?"
"Er, I dunno. Oh wait, I do. A child, someone to carry on ruling when they die."
"Correct. And what has Lord Venombyte NOT got." Tony didn't wait for an answer, the sudden expression of understanding on Ants face said it all. "Exactly. Venombyte does not yet have an heir.
"It is becuse of this," Tony continued, "that he cast a very powerful spell a few years ago. Just after you were imprisoned, in fact. It is a spell to make all males homosexual, including himself.
"The longer you are around Venombyte, the more "ooh ducky" you become. He plans to make EVERY MALE gay, so that he can find a wife, and have an heir."
"But if he's gay as well, he won't find the women attractive, surely?" Asked Ant.
"Very true. Which is why he seeks the necklace. Whoever wears the necklace instantly has the spell removed, and are no longer affected by it. Venombyte plans to get this necklace, and then wear it himself.
"He will then be the only straight man in the city. All the women will be so desperate for it after a while, that they will flock to him for a *ahem* "servicing", so to speak. In this way, Venombyte plans to carry on his lineage... FOREVER!"
Ant sat back, and tried to take this all in...
"Damn, that Snuggly has a good arm on him. Good chicken though." muttered Stryke, as they fled the chickens.
"What shall we do now? Sheepy, go and buy a shirt. You're still half naked." said YH, eating a chicken spring roll.
Sheepy cried in surprise and ran off, colliding with a blubbering Snake as he emerged from a side-cabin.
"Damn."
Sheepy kicked Snake a couple of times while he was down and ran off to the Pound-Stretcher Shirt shop. For a shirt, surprisingly.
The rest helped Snake to his feet, and carried him to the side of the boat.
"Why, thanks guys!" said Snake, and had a quiet smoke. It failed to light. "Damn."
"So, now we're all here, WHY are you following us?" said er-no. Snake shrugged.
"Right lads, on three. One...Damn, just lob him." said Stryke, and they heaved Snake over the side. He splashed into the sea, yet his cigarette stayed alight, for super-duper reasons. He muttered something and swam off.
"What did he say?" asked YH
"Think it was "Damn." Can't be sure though. C'mon, let's go throw some ice-cubes at the waiters. They always do nothing."
--
Hours later, they grew tired of pelting midget Brazilian waiters with ice cubes and went to the resturant.
"I want something." said Stryke.
"Not here, Stryke!" cried YH, batting his eyelids.
"No, you tart, I want something for doing this mission. You get a spanking new Escort.."
"..Which you ruined.."
"..which I ruined, admittedly, but it was Snake's fault."
"I miss that monosyballic muppet." murmered Sheepy, who had re-joined them with a Hawaian shirt.
"Anyway, I want something."
"Here's a quid.."
"...pixie dust..."
"..ok, pixie dust. Go buy yourself something nice. And not from that seedy shop on the third floor." said YH.
"Whoop woop woop.." said Stryke, and left. He re-entered a minute later.
"Guess who I found." he moaned. Snake came in, rolling a cigarette. He sat down without offering an explanation and lit up. They all stared at him. He proffered a spring roll.
"He stays." said YH, and quickly ate the spring roll. Messily.
"I want a mullet." said Sheepy. "And a cool stealth suit."
"Seedy shop, third floor." said YH, beckoning.
--
"What shall we do now? Sheepy, go and buy a shirt. You're still half naked." said YH, eating a chicken spring roll.
Sheepy cried in surprise and ran off, colliding with a blubbering Snake as he emerged from a side-cabin.
"Damn."
Sheepy kicked Snake a couple of times while he was down and ran off to the Pound-Stretcher Shirt shop. For a shirt, surprisingly.
The rest helped Snake to his feet, and carried him to the side of the boat.
"Why, thanks guys!" said Snake, and had a quiet smoke. It failed to light. "Damn."
"So, now we're all here, WHY are you following us?" said er-no. Snake shrugged.
"Right lads, on three. One...Damn, just lob him." said Stryke, and they heaved Snake over the side. He splashed into the sea, yet his cigarette stayed alight, for super-duper reasons. He muttered something and swam off.
"What did he say?" asked YH
"Think it was "Damn." Can't be sure though. C'mon, let's go throw some ice-cubes at the waiters. They always do nothing."
--
Hours later, they grew tired of pelting midget Brazilian waiters with ice cubes and went to the resturant.
"I want something." said Stryke.
"Not here, Stryke!" cried YH, batting his eyelids.
"No, you tart, I want something for doing this mission. You get a spanking new Escort.."
"..Which you ruined.."
"..which I ruined, admittedly, but it was Snake's fault."
"I miss that monosyballic muppet." murmered Sheepy, who had re-joined them with a Hawaian shirt.
"Anyway, I want something."
"Here's a quid.."
"...pixie dust..."
"..ok, pixie dust. Go buy yourself something nice. And not from that seedy shop on the third floor." said YH.
"Whoop woop woop.." said Stryke, and left. He re-entered a minute later.
"Guess who I found." he moaned. Snake came in, rolling a cigarette. He sat down without offering an explanation and lit up. They all stared at him. He proffered a spring roll.
"He stays." said YH, and quickly ate the spring roll. Messily.
"I want a mullet." said Sheepy. "And a cool stealth suit."
"Seedy shop, third floor." said YH, beckoning.
--
"Hello."
"....."
"My name is Dr Santrona. It's nice to meet you."
Dr Santrona proffered his hand to Snake. Snake looked up at him, but didn't take it. Instead, he took a long drag from his cigarette, took it from his mouth, and blew smoke into Dr Santrona's eyes.
"Ah, you wish to be left alone. You show a certain defiance. So unemotional."
Snake stared at him for a second, then replaced his cigarette and turned away.
Dr Santrona continued, somewhat intrigued.
"I'm a psychologist myself" he said. "And I find you somewhat interesting. You're a very detached person. It's like you're locking yourself away. Now is that a habit from your work? Or some experience you're trying to forget? Tell me, what do you do for a living?"
Snake said nothing, but slowly opened his leather jacket to reveal the gleaming handle of a well polished daggar.
"Ah, I suspect you are a mercenary, am I correct? That's very interesting. Very interesting indeed. Now, the emotional barriers you have to put up to do that kind of work... they're very strong. You can't learn to do that. You need a reason. Was it something that happened in your childhood?"
"Go away"
"Ah! we're getting somewhere. Some traumatic event, perhaps. Was it the death of a parent?"
Snake didn't move a muscle
"No, perhaps not. Did you have many friends as a child?"
Snakes eyes flitted down briefly. Dr Santrona smiled.
"Ah, to do with friends then. Were you bullied? Did you never quite fit in?"
Snake forehead furrowed slightly. His eyebrows pinched together.
"The other kids never liked you, so you shut them out, didn't you? You blocked them off, and lived in your own world. Became the master of your emotions. Locked them all away, deep inside. Forgot about them. Made yourself believe you were stronger on your own. You turned the bitterness into determination, and you did it, didn't you? You became the best, but you were never happy."
Snake put one hand over his face. Dr Santrona wasn't sure, but he thought Snake's eyes might have been watering. He continued
"So many years, with nobody. All alone, and only yourself to trust. But here's an empty hole inside of you, isn't there? It's eating away at you. You smoke to relax, because it eases the pain. Helps you forget. But it won't solve your problems."
Snake was sniffling. He had both hands over his face now, holding back the tears.
"Don't be afraid to let it all out. There's still time. You have to let yourself go, or you can never be complete. Tell me, why did you never get on with the kids at school?"
Snake's resolve snapped. He broke down.
"*sniff* They, *sniff*, always made f-fun of me. *sniff*"
"Carry on, please"
"called me n-names. *sniff*. b-big ears. fat, big-eared loner, they c-called me. *sniff*"
"Kids can be cruel. But you have to move on. You've locked up the pain for thirty years. Be strong. Let it out. You're big enough to take it."
"*sniffle* my m-mother. I n-never told her I loved her, *sniff*, I wasn't there when sh-she died.
I WANT M-MY M-MUMMY!
*whimper*, *sniff*"
"It's okay now. You need some time to yourself. Let it all out."
with this, Dr Santrona turned and left Snake on his own, weeping quietly in the corner. Blubbering like a baby without it's candy.
"....."
"My name is Dr Santrona. It's nice to meet you."
Dr Santrona proffered his hand to Snake. Snake looked up at him, but didn't take it. Instead, he took a long drag from his cigarette, took it from his mouth, and blew smoke into Dr Santrona's eyes.
"Ah, you wish to be left alone. You show a certain defiance. So unemotional."
Snake stared at him for a second, then replaced his cigarette and turned away.
Dr Santrona continued, somewhat intrigued.
"I'm a psychologist myself" he said. "And I find you somewhat interesting. You're a very detached person. It's like you're locking yourself away. Now is that a habit from your work? Or some experience you're trying to forget? Tell me, what do you do for a living?"
Snake said nothing, but slowly opened his leather jacket to reveal the gleaming handle of a well polished daggar.
"Ah, I suspect you are a mercenary, am I correct? That's very interesting. Very interesting indeed. Now, the emotional barriers you have to put up to do that kind of work... they're very strong. You can't learn to do that. You need a reason. Was it something that happened in your childhood?"
"Go away"
"Ah! we're getting somewhere. Some traumatic event, perhaps. Was it the death of a parent?"
Snake didn't move a muscle
"No, perhaps not. Did you have many friends as a child?"
Snakes eyes flitted down briefly. Dr Santrona smiled.
"Ah, to do with friends then. Were you bullied? Did you never quite fit in?"
Snake forehead furrowed slightly. His eyebrows pinched together.
"The other kids never liked you, so you shut them out, didn't you? You blocked them off, and lived in your own world. Became the master of your emotions. Locked them all away, deep inside. Forgot about them. Made yourself believe you were stronger on your own. You turned the bitterness into determination, and you did it, didn't you? You became the best, but you were never happy."
Snake put one hand over his face. Dr Santrona wasn't sure, but he thought Snake's eyes might have been watering. He continued
"So many years, with nobody. All alone, and only yourself to trust. But here's an empty hole inside of you, isn't there? It's eating away at you. You smoke to relax, because it eases the pain. Helps you forget. But it won't solve your problems."
Snake was sniffling. He had both hands over his face now, holding back the tears.
"Don't be afraid to let it all out. There's still time. You have to let yourself go, or you can never be complete. Tell me, why did you never get on with the kids at school?"
Snake's resolve snapped. He broke down.
"*sniff* They, *sniff*, always made f-fun of me. *sniff*"
"Carry on, please"
"called me n-names. *sniff*. b-big ears. fat, big-eared loner, they c-called me. *sniff*"
"Kids can be cruel. But you have to move on. You've locked up the pain for thirty years. Be strong. Let it out. You're big enough to take it."
"*sniffle* my m-mother. I n-never told her I loved her, *sniff*, I wasn't there when sh-she died.
I WANT M-MY M-MUMMY!
*whimper*, *sniff*"
"It's okay now. You need some time to yourself. Let it all out."
with this, Dr Santrona turned and left Snake on his own, weeping quietly in the corner. Blubbering like a baby without it's candy.
Ant followed Goatboy into the cottage. It was bigger inside that it looked. Possibly a futuristic TARDIS? Ant thought to himself.
"Hello. We are the Council of Ten." Said Tony.
Ant had a quick look around the room.
"Are you sure you're all here?".
"Of course. I can count to ten. Do you think I'm stupid?".
"No no, of course not." Ant apologised quickly. "It's just there's only 3 of - Ow! What did you do that for?" Ant asked Goatboy, after he'd kicked him.
"There is ten people here. Well, Tony thinks so. He has a squint you see? That's why we call him Tony the Tiger." Goatboy winked as he revealed this last bit of vital information.
Ant looked confused.
"Don't worry Ant, it will all become clear soon." Whispered Goaty, who then went to the kitchen to put the kettle on.
Ant looked back at Tony. Who didn't look anything like a Tiger. Ant remebered Goaty's clothing, and wondered if Tony's name came more from the bedroom, as opposed to actaul looks. His thoughts were interrupted.
"Ant, I suspect you wonder why you were brought here. No no, don't answer, I know these things. I deal in magic. You don't believe me? Ok, I will show you some magic." Tony put one hand up under his jumper.
"Ok Ant my boy, pick a number between 1 and 5."
"Er, 3."
"And.... voila!" Tony brought his hand out from under his jumper and, sure enough, there were three fingers sticking up. "See?"
"That was pathetic."
Tony lookd like he had been shot, his face had a horrified, hurt expression.
"What!?!?"
"That was the WORST trick I've ever seen. I can do better than that. Watch." Ant concentrated, closed his eyes and put his hands out in front of him. He could see what he wanted, he could see the ball of blue fire in his minds eye. All he had to do, was make it so.
He concentrated and concentrated, like orange juice, until sweat was dripping down his face. He opened his eyes and was shocked.
There was no ball of blue fire between his hands.
There was, however, a ball of blue fire engulfing the entire house.
"Tea's made!" Shouted Goatboy from the kitchen, but he was ignored.
"-" Ant began, and then stopped.
"You really are the one." Tony got down on his knees, and bowed in front of Ant, as did the other two, of the Council of Ten.
"I pledge my life to the Seeker." Came the chant from all three.
"What happened? It's never been that big before. I don't understand..."
"It's because you are further away from the city. Your power decreases the nearer you get to Lord Venombyte. It's a long story. It all started a very long time ago...."
"Hello. We are the Council of Ten." Said Tony.
Ant had a quick look around the room.
"Are you sure you're all here?".
"Of course. I can count to ten. Do you think I'm stupid?".
"No no, of course not." Ant apologised quickly. "It's just there's only 3 of - Ow! What did you do that for?" Ant asked Goatboy, after he'd kicked him.
"There is ten people here. Well, Tony thinks so. He has a squint you see? That's why we call him Tony the Tiger." Goatboy winked as he revealed this last bit of vital information.
Ant looked confused.
"Don't worry Ant, it will all become clear soon." Whispered Goaty, who then went to the kitchen to put the kettle on.
Ant looked back at Tony. Who didn't look anything like a Tiger. Ant remebered Goaty's clothing, and wondered if Tony's name came more from the bedroom, as opposed to actaul looks. His thoughts were interrupted.
"Ant, I suspect you wonder why you were brought here. No no, don't answer, I know these things. I deal in magic. You don't believe me? Ok, I will show you some magic." Tony put one hand up under his jumper.
"Ok Ant my boy, pick a number between 1 and 5."
"Er, 3."
"And.... voila!" Tony brought his hand out from under his jumper and, sure enough, there were three fingers sticking up. "See?"
"That was pathetic."
Tony lookd like he had been shot, his face had a horrified, hurt expression.
"What!?!?"
"That was the WORST trick I've ever seen. I can do better than that. Watch." Ant concentrated, closed his eyes and put his hands out in front of him. He could see what he wanted, he could see the ball of blue fire in his minds eye. All he had to do, was make it so.
He concentrated and concentrated, like orange juice, until sweat was dripping down his face. He opened his eyes and was shocked.
There was no ball of blue fire between his hands.
There was, however, a ball of blue fire engulfing the entire house.
"Tea's made!" Shouted Goatboy from the kitchen, but he was ignored.
"-" Ant began, and then stopped.
"You really are the one." Tony got down on his knees, and bowed in front of Ant, as did the other two, of the Council of Ten.
"I pledge my life to the Seeker." Came the chant from all three.
"What happened? It's never been that big before. I don't understand..."
"It's because you are further away from the city. Your power decreases the nearer you get to Lord Venombyte. It's a long story. It all started a very long time ago...."
"Am I right in saying we can get out of the car?" Stryke asked.
"Not sure. Damn, where's Snake when you need him?"
"Here," came a muffled voice from the boot.
YH got out, and opened the boot. "Right, if I let you out then you must promise that you'll stay in the car until the journey is over, so us lot can go make trouble on the ferry, okay?"
"Yes. I promise."
"Good."
Snake got out and sat in the front seat, while everyone else got out and began running...somewhere. At some point, they found a way into the decent part of the ferry, where you could eat, drink, play, talk and hang your cap over the side of the boat while you're mates dare you to drop into the deep, murky sea.
__________________________
"Why don't we go arcades?" er-no asked excitedly.
"Them old things? No thanks. Why not go to the kitchen and throw food around?" YH suggested.
"But they might throw us out, and we'd have to find another way to Transylvania." Stryke said sadly.
"Well, they can't exactly turn back, can they?"
"Very true," Stryke replied, and the four of them ran happily off to the kitchen, where they would proceed to throw chickens to Chef Snuggly's annoyance.
_______________________
"So where exactly are you taking me?" Ant said, as a gleam of light began to protrude between the thick forest.
"You will find out very soon," Goatboy replied calmly.
And he was right. More light was coming through, it appeared as though they were finally coming out of the dense woodland...
And suddenly, they did. Ant squinted due to the sun's light, but Goatboy just carried on walking...to his left.
Ant turned left, and was greeted by a small cottage. It looked quite old, but still in good shape. It had recently been painted, by the looks of things.
"Can I have my message yet?" Ant asked.
"Once we are inside."
"Not sure. Damn, where's Snake when you need him?"
"Here," came a muffled voice from the boot.
YH got out, and opened the boot. "Right, if I let you out then you must promise that you'll stay in the car until the journey is over, so us lot can go make trouble on the ferry, okay?"
"Yes. I promise."
"Good."
Snake got out and sat in the front seat, while everyone else got out and began running...somewhere. At some point, they found a way into the decent part of the ferry, where you could eat, drink, play, talk and hang your cap over the side of the boat while you're mates dare you to drop into the deep, murky sea.
__________________________
"Why don't we go arcades?" er-no asked excitedly.
"Them old things? No thanks. Why not go to the kitchen and throw food around?" YH suggested.
"But they might throw us out, and we'd have to find another way to Transylvania." Stryke said sadly.
"Well, they can't exactly turn back, can they?"
"Very true," Stryke replied, and the four of them ran happily off to the kitchen, where they would proceed to throw chickens to Chef Snuggly's annoyance.
_______________________
"So where exactly are you taking me?" Ant said, as a gleam of light began to protrude between the thick forest.
"You will find out very soon," Goatboy replied calmly.
And he was right. More light was coming through, it appeared as though they were finally coming out of the dense woodland...
And suddenly, they did. Ant squinted due to the sun's light, but Goatboy just carried on walking...to his left.
Ant turned left, and was greeted by a small cottage. It looked quite old, but still in good shape. It had recently been painted, by the looks of things.
"Can I have my message yet?" Ant asked.
"Once we are inside."
"Do you think that petrol should be allowed to blow up?" asked YH, as they drove off.
"WHAT?"
"You know, shouldn't it be illegal?"
"Drive the car." muttered Solid Snake. Stryke turned towards him.
"Why the hell are you still here?" he yelled.
"Dunno. Spring roll?" said Snake, profering the roll.
"Sod off!" said er-no.
"No."
So Sheepy opened the door and kicked Snake out.
"Damn." said Snake, and wandered off.
--
"You know, this fighting pose isn't good for my chi." muttered the 1st Troll
"Isn't that cha?"
"It's chi." said Troll 1.
"I'm pretty sure it's cha."
"Look, you nonce, I just paid 200 quid for some ponytailed gimp to come round to my house and move a few chairs, claiming it to be Feng Shui! IT'S CHI!" yelled Troll 1.
"Y'know, quids are an English thing.."
"Shut up. Pass the chicken."
--
"Wow, a ferry! Going to Translyvania! Only 2 quid each!"
"We use Pixie Dust as currency now." chortled Sheepy
"OK, 2 Dust things! Let's go!" exclaimed YH, and unloaded his luggage.
"It's a ferry, YH, we can take the Escort."
"Damn straight we can." said YH, smoothly recovering and reloading his luggage.
--
"And that's how you press flowers!" said Neville, patting VemonByte on the shoulder. "Do you want to paint watercolour now?"
VemonByte tried to resist, but he couldn't. He also wanted to turn off Elton John's Greatest Hits, but he couldn't. He needed that necklace. It'd go well with his ponytail. The ponytail is cool, he decided.
"WHAT?"
"You know, shouldn't it be illegal?"
"Drive the car." muttered Solid Snake. Stryke turned towards him.
"Why the hell are you still here?" he yelled.
"Dunno. Spring roll?" said Snake, profering the roll.
"Sod off!" said er-no.
"No."
So Sheepy opened the door and kicked Snake out.
"Damn." said Snake, and wandered off.
--
"You know, this fighting pose isn't good for my chi." muttered the 1st Troll
"Isn't that cha?"
"It's chi." said Troll 1.
"I'm pretty sure it's cha."
"Look, you nonce, I just paid 200 quid for some ponytailed gimp to come round to my house and move a few chairs, claiming it to be Feng Shui! IT'S CHI!" yelled Troll 1.
"Y'know, quids are an English thing.."
"Shut up. Pass the chicken."
--
"Wow, a ferry! Going to Translyvania! Only 2 quid each!"
"We use Pixie Dust as currency now." chortled Sheepy
"OK, 2 Dust things! Let's go!" exclaimed YH, and unloaded his luggage.
"It's a ferry, YH, we can take the Escort."
"Damn straight we can." said YH, smoothly recovering and reloading his luggage.
--
"And that's how you press flowers!" said Neville, patting VemonByte on the shoulder. "Do you want to paint watercolour now?"
VemonByte tried to resist, but he couldn't. He also wanted to turn off Elton John's Greatest Hits, but he couldn't. He needed that necklace. It'd go well with his ponytail. The ponytail is cool, he decided.
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