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Stryke took another swig of whisky. He closed his eyes and sighed as the cool liquid travelled down his body, and damaged his liver. He knew it wouldn’t do him any good, but he didn’t care.
He stepped out from the bar, which he also knew as home, and was greeted by the evil stench of pollution. He walked down the busy streets, full of all kinds of people, most of them in rags. He was used to it by now though. The drink, drugs, prostitution, illness-it was just a daily occurrence. He heard a strange grunt from an alley, and glanced towards it’s source. He regretted it, and quickly carried on his way.
“Hey, Stryke! Over here!”
Stryke looked to his left, and saw Your Honour sitting in a Ford Escort on the side of the road. He hurried over to him, struggled to open the extremely rusty door and joined YH.
“You still got one of these? Everyone’s going round in those hover-carts now, why don’t you ya old fart?”
“Those hover-carts use petrol as well.” YH said a matter-of-factly.
“And?”
“Well, I’d prefer to be down here on the ground if I run out.” He replied, bluntly.
YH started the engine.
10 minutes later…
The car revved up, and they finally got away.
“You been watching the news?” Stryke asked between gulps of whiskey.
“Nah, I prefer Robots From Hell.”
“Well, Lord VenomByte’s planning some sort of expedition.” Stryke told him.
“Really? Where to?”
“Dunno, but I heard it’s somewhere dangerous, and he wants to try and find this necklace. It’s all powerful or something. Supposedly, his magic skills have been waning as of late. He tried to clean the whole palace using magic the other day, and ended up destroying the bathroom.”
“Oh, right. Well, I would watch the news to hear more about it, but today’s Robots From Hell is about Tony Rainbird’s experience with a rebellious 220-Series. Very interesting…”
They continued to drive through the bustling city, not knowing exactly where they were going. Fortunately, before they had driven up to the huge impending hole in the road which they had no idea was there, something caught their attention. A big crowd was gathering around something…or someone. Smoke was coming from somewhere, but it wasn’t a fire.
“Wanna check it out?” YH asked.
Stryke nodded, and as the Escort coughed to a stop, they jumped out and headed over to…whatever was going on over there.
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Little do people know that he has something that they don't, he re-spawns.
Smeagol crawls watchfully, waiting for the right moment to strike.*
pertzel (stupid man) bet Fbi agents went "HE's A enemy of THE STATE!!!" (pulls pistols) BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
like off the simpsons
"Ah, Tony, your hair is most fine!"
"Oh, isn't it! Thank you so much darling."
BAM!
Tony Blair was shot dead.
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"Snake?? What are you doing with that Sniper Rifle??" YH asked.
"I have news," he said.
"Us Tell it what is?" Troll 5 said.
"Excuse me?"
"I've only spoken just, worse I'm others the than!" He reasoned for his poor speech.
"Ah, okay. Well, the 2 explorers looking for the Necklace for the Council Of 10, supposedly named Goat and Antboy, are already on Romania, and are heading towards us."
"How far away they are?" Troll 3 asked.
"A couple of days, probably."
"And what of the others? The ones representing Lord VenomByte?" Troll 1 asked.
"They, and a cupboard dancer, are on their way also. They are close to shore now, thanks to a Lifeboat."
"Position we'd get into better!" Troll 5 'said.'
And so the Trolls got into their fighting poses once again, and waited.
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"Hey look, there's a fish, and I'm hungry!" Stryke cried.
BAM!!
Snake shot the fish, and pulled out what was revealed to be a Piranha.
"erm...I wouldn't eat that."
Snake shoved it in his mouth, where the sharp teeth cut his lip over and over, as well as his tongue.
"Damn."
YH pointed in front of them, "land ahoy!!"
"No YH, that's one of those guys from Fat Club." er-no said, bored.
YH squinted, "Oh...so it is. He doesn't look very well. Should we help him?"
BAM!!
"Fine then, we won't."
They had left their beds, partly because Snake had woken them up by snapping some random guy's neck outside their rooms, and partly because there was no comic value in sleeping. Well, thats expecting er-no's sleeping, so they left him in bed with his cushion.
"Nah, probably not. Trick of the light." answered YH, looking down at the waves.
"And the frenzied screams of pain?" inquired Sheepy.
YH ignored this, and concentrated on a body in the sea.
"Looks like that Dr chappy." commented Stryke. Snatches of conversation floated up to them.
"So where does this aggression come from......did they other waves bully you.....is it because you aren't as blue as them..."
They could have listened to this, but instead they pelted the poor Dr with spare bits of farm machinery. He sunk under, slowly and pitifully.
"That reminds me, aren't we supposed to be sinking?" said Sheepy, looking around.
Damn. Could have been the ship saying that.
They proceeded to sink into the murky sea. Bright lights on the horizon indicated they were near Romania. The ship began to collapse, and people began falling out of the upper decks and landing on them. Sheepy smiled as a woman fell into his lap. He, again, made good use of the situation.
"Ms Mystique does not like..." trailed a falling voice, before the bouncer was hurled into the sea. The ship was tilting up, very much like a certain poor film. There's no soppy gits playing string instruments though. Snake just shot them.
"MYSTIQUE?" screamed Sheepy, letting go of the table dancer immediately. She huffed slightly, and grabbed onto a railing. They proceeded to do the same. Snake wondered over, oddly able to maintain his balance on the nearly vertical deck. He smiled at them, and drew a cigarette from his pocket. A falling cockney with a bowler hat knocked it from his hand.
"Damn."
Then the ship sunk. With a big slurping sound.
--
Sniper realised he was in a considerable amount of pain. The farm machinery had fallen off him, somehow. He counted himself lucky that he wasn't dead.
Then a shark ate him.
--
Stryke and YH climbed up onto a small lifeboat. Two cockneys with matching bowler hats had already laid claim to it, so Snake climbed aboard and kicked them off. They screamed briefly, and then sunk. For no particular reason. Everyone was hauled aboard. Well they took a head count, they were one extra.
"Mystique, what are you doing here?" asked Sheepy. The rest had no idea who she was.
"Um, I felt like it. And Romania sounds quaint."
"Quaint? You been around VemonByte?"
"No....But I have a gun." She brandished the gun.
Nobody felt like arguing with a table dancer who had a menacing gun. Sheepy especially. She might feel like making the most of the situation.
"So off we row, ho ho ho. Splice something, and yo ho ho." murmered YH. Thay all looked at him.
"Sailor." muttered er-no.
On this occasion however, it seemed to apply to Dr Santrona. He was on the cruiser, and at the airfield. Unfortunately for him, he both fell of ths ship and drowned, and was flattened by a landing concorde. This was partly fate, and partly because there wasn't much comic value left in his character.
Sniper saw the falling Santrona as he climbed up a tow rope dangling conveniently off the starboad bow. Those turbines has really, really hurt. He made a mental note to complain to the authorities that putting huge twirling blades under the ship was unnacceptable and rather pointless in the day and age where ships were guided by electromagnetic wave co-ordination beams. As was the pile of old, yet sharp farming machinery stacked precariously up in a big heap just near the starboard bow....
Damn
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YH, Sheepy, er-no, Stryke and Ant, were all in bed.
Separately.
Snake was wandering about in the dark, hiding behind corners, and snapping people's necks. He was a little dissapointed by the lack of guards around, but at least he was getting some practice.
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Goatboy and Ant arrived in Romania after an uneventful flight.
"That was a boring flight" said Ant
"It certainly was" said Goatboy "If I were writing a book about us, I wouldn't say a thing about it, it was so dull."
"Yep" said Ant. "That would definitely be the right thing for any good author to do. Mentioning any details of the flight would've been a waste of time."
"Anyway, it's getting late. We'd better stay somewhere for the night. Looks like we've landed on some dark desert highway"
The cool wind blew through Ants hair. There was a definite scent of colitas in the air.
"Up ahead in the distance" said Ant, pointing. Goatboy squinted as far as he could up the road ahead. He could definitely see a shimmering light, but he was tired. His head was growing heavy, and his sight dim.
The two walked slowly up the dark desert highway, approaching what appeared to be a hotel. It took them a good fifteen miniutes to get there, but the road was flat, so the walk wasn't too tiring.
There was a lady in the doorway, and and thought he could make out the sound of a mission bell.
"This could be heaven, or this could be hell" thought Ant
The lady lit up a candle, and showed them the way.
"What!?!? No! Unless you mean it of course..." YH said quietly, not looking at Stryke.
"Well, actually I meant to get some sleep, but now you say-"
"Nooo, you'll stop talking like that NOW!! We are not gay, got it?" er-no said heatedly.
YH and Strkye nodded vigorously.
"Of course..." er-n began, before Snake smashed him in the face. He then proceeded to punch Stryke, and YH.
Sheepy grinned, "Hey, you rule Snake!"
Snake took a puff from his new cigarette, "damn gays."
An announcement was heard on the speakers, "Hello, we are sorry for the inconvenience, but the ship has hit something solid and is water is rushing in as I speak. However, we will get to Romania before the ship has tipped over completely. Thank-you."
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"So...how much fuel have we got?" Ant asked Goatboy, who knew a little more about planes than Ant did. However, that still wasn't very much.
"erm...well, put it this way, we'll be close to Romania when it runs out."
"Well, we can swim, can't we?"
"Yes, we can. We'll have to jump first."
"Ah well, it's only water."
"Okay then," Goatboy agreed, forgetting to mention the part about the giant killing shark and vicious piranhas.
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The Trolls still stood, in their fighting positions. They were disturbed however by the News Troll.
"I have news," he confirmed.
"Makes change a," said Troll 3.
"Well, now 2 more travellers are coming to capture the necklace for Council Of 10, and-"
"You've told us this already." Troll 1 commented.
"I have?"
"Yes."
"Well then," News Troll looked humiliated, "I have no news."