The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
*PLEASE NOTE-ALL CREDIT FOR AMUSING TITLE GOES TO GRIX THRAVES*
_____________________________
Stryke took another swig of whisky. He closed his eyes and sighed as the cool liquid travelled down his body, and damaged his liver. He knew it wouldn’t do him any good, but he didn’t care.
He stepped out from the bar, which he also knew as home, and was greeted by the evil stench of pollution. He walked down the busy streets, full of all kinds of people, most of them in rags. He was used to it by now though. The drink, drugs, prostitution, illness-it was just a daily occurrence. He heard a strange grunt from an alley, and glanced towards it’s source. He regretted it, and quickly carried on his way.
“Hey, Stryke! Over here!”
Stryke looked to his left, and saw Your Honour sitting in a Ford Escort on the side of the road. He hurried over to him, struggled to open the extremely rusty door and joined YH.
“You still got one of these? Everyone’s going round in those hover-carts now, why don’t you ya old fart?”
“Those hover-carts use petrol as well.” YH said a matter-of-factly.
“And?”
“Well, I’d prefer to be down here on the ground if I run out.” He replied, bluntly.
YH started the engine.
10 minutes later…
The car revved up, and they finally got away.
“You been watching the news?” Stryke asked between gulps of whiskey.
“Nah, I prefer Robots From Hell.”
“Well, Lord VenomByte’s planning some sort of expedition.” Stryke told him.
“Really? Where to?”
“Dunno, but I heard it’s somewhere dangerous, and he wants to try and find this necklace. It’s all powerful or something. Supposedly, his magic skills have been waning as of late. He tried to clean the whole palace using magic the other day, and ended up destroying the bathroom.”
“Oh, right. Well, I would watch the news to hear more about it, but today’s Robots From Hell is about Tony Rainbird’s experience with a rebellious 220-Series. Very interesting…”
They continued to drive through the bustling city, not knowing exactly where they were going. Fortunately, before they had driven up to the huge impending hole in the road which they had no idea was there, something caught their attention. A big crowd was gathering around something…or someone. Smoke was coming from somewhere, but it wasn’t a fire.
“Wanna check it out?” YH asked.
Stryke nodded, and as the Escort coughed to a stop, they jumped out and headed over to…whatever was going on over there.
_____________________________
Stryke took another swig of whisky. He closed his eyes and sighed as the cool liquid travelled down his body, and damaged his liver. He knew it wouldn’t do him any good, but he didn’t care.
He stepped out from the bar, which he also knew as home, and was greeted by the evil stench of pollution. He walked down the busy streets, full of all kinds of people, most of them in rags. He was used to it by now though. The drink, drugs, prostitution, illness-it was just a daily occurrence. He heard a strange grunt from an alley, and glanced towards it’s source. He regretted it, and quickly carried on his way.
“Hey, Stryke! Over here!”
Stryke looked to his left, and saw Your Honour sitting in a Ford Escort on the side of the road. He hurried over to him, struggled to open the extremely rusty door and joined YH.
“You still got one of these? Everyone’s going round in those hover-carts now, why don’t you ya old fart?”
“Those hover-carts use petrol as well.” YH said a matter-of-factly.
“And?”
“Well, I’d prefer to be down here on the ground if I run out.” He replied, bluntly.
YH started the engine.
10 minutes later…
The car revved up, and they finally got away.
“You been watching the news?” Stryke asked between gulps of whiskey.
“Nah, I prefer Robots From Hell.”
“Well, Lord VenomByte’s planning some sort of expedition.” Stryke told him.
“Really? Where to?”
“Dunno, but I heard it’s somewhere dangerous, and he wants to try and find this necklace. It’s all powerful or something. Supposedly, his magic skills have been waning as of late. He tried to clean the whole palace using magic the other day, and ended up destroying the bathroom.”
“Oh, right. Well, I would watch the news to hear more about it, but today’s Robots From Hell is about Tony Rainbird’s experience with a rebellious 220-Series. Very interesting…”
They continued to drive through the bustling city, not knowing exactly where they were going. Fortunately, before they had driven up to the huge impending hole in the road which they had no idea was there, something caught their attention. A big crowd was gathering around something…or someone. Smoke was coming from somewhere, but it wasn’t a fire.
“Wanna check it out?” YH asked.
Stryke nodded, and as the Escort coughed to a stop, they jumped out and headed over to…whatever was going on over there.
Page:
VemonByte felt a disruption in the space-time continumumumumumumumum. He re-aligned the deflocter dish. This always seemed to do the trick. Then he looked in the mirror.
"A kilt with a pink tank-top?" he asked himself disgustedly. " A Goatee! A PONYTAIL! BARRRRRRRRRRRRBER!"
Ten minutes later...
VemonByte walked out of his room, crumpling a YMCA CD in his hand. How had it got into the CD Player? He was wearing normal clothes. Well, ish. Safety Concious Neville ran in, skipping.
"Fancy some flower-pressing?"
VemonByte waved a hand irritably. Neville exploded in a burst of butterflies and camp pink things.
Then VemonByte realised something! He wasn't camp anymore! But how, the necklace wasn't his.
"They must have broken it!" exclaimed VemonByte, punching his hand in anger. "OW!"
He waved a hand, and he disappeared in a poof of pink smoke. Maybe he was still camp.
--
They all clambered out of the cave. YH looked down at the spletch of the trolls.
"Poor little things."
A squeaking was annoying him. Something 5cm tall was yelling at him. Stryke bent down and picked it up.
"I bring news!" squeaked a really high voice.
"That sounds like Ant." noted Er-no.
" I bring ne..." began the News Troll again. BAM!
"That almost took off my hand, Snake."
Snake shrugged and re-holstered his gun.
Then Ant and Goatboy rushed out the forest in front of them, panting. Sheepy raised an eyebrow.
"What you lads been up to then? Eh?" he winked.
"Shut up, you camp tart." muttered Goatboy. "We are emisarries from the Council of Nine."
"..Three." muttered Ant, looking around him nervously.
"Shut up. You must break the necklace! YOU CANNOT GIVE IT TO VEMONBYTE!" roared Goatboy.
"Oh. We did that." said YH.
"Oh. So we've come all this way for nothing?" asked Ant.
"Looks like it."
"B****r."
They all sat down. Snake had a quiet smoke, then Duckula and Igor (For the author has remembered his name) burst out of the forest behind Ant, panting.
"Eh eh, lads.." began Sheepy, and stopped when Snake hit him.
"We must have Ant and Goatbo.."
BAM! BAM!
They nodded to Snake, who again re-holsetred his gun. Those strange duck people had annoyed him, and now he had lost his smoke.
"Damn."
AND THEN the air ruptured. Lightning flashed out of the sky, and thunder crashed. An opening burst outwards, and VemonByte stepped through. Then he tripped, with kind of ruined the whole ocassion. But he sprung to his feet again, and spread his hands wide.
" I WILL NOW DESTROY YOU ALL!"
A lightning bolt flew from his hand towards er-no. Out of nowhere, Sniper lurched out of the forest and took the bolt mid-chest. He burned up in a few seconds. Er-no fainted.
" Hang on now..." began Stryke, and he, YH and Sheepy advanced towards VemonByte. He flicked a hand lazily and they flew backwards, crashing into treetrunks. They slid to the ground moaning. Goatboy looked at Ant, nodding.
" You must seize your destiny! NOW!"
He leapt towards VemonByte, screaming.
"Haiiii! WAAAAAAA! Tzeeeeeee!"
HE stopped when VemonByte didn't react.
"Erm...Hai? No? Not even a Suhhhhzeeeee! You sure? Oh."
VemonByte hit Goatboy so hard he turned a somersault before collapsing. VemonByte smiled, and stepped over him towards Ant, who gulped. He held out his hands, blue fire burning in them.
"Ow. Damn, thats hot."
VemonByte smiled. He raised a hand.
Above, the clouds slid over, revealing a full moon that shone brightly.
Mystique threw herself upright and howled...
"A kilt with a pink tank-top?" he asked himself disgustedly. " A Goatee! A PONYTAIL! BARRRRRRRRRRRRBER!"
Ten minutes later...
VemonByte walked out of his room, crumpling a YMCA CD in his hand. How had it got into the CD Player? He was wearing normal clothes. Well, ish. Safety Concious Neville ran in, skipping.
"Fancy some flower-pressing?"
VemonByte waved a hand irritably. Neville exploded in a burst of butterflies and camp pink things.
Then VemonByte realised something! He wasn't camp anymore! But how, the necklace wasn't his.
"They must have broken it!" exclaimed VemonByte, punching his hand in anger. "OW!"
He waved a hand, and he disappeared in a poof of pink smoke. Maybe he was still camp.
--
They all clambered out of the cave. YH looked down at the spletch of the trolls.
"Poor little things."
A squeaking was annoying him. Something 5cm tall was yelling at him. Stryke bent down and picked it up.
"I bring news!" squeaked a really high voice.
"That sounds like Ant." noted Er-no.
" I bring ne..." began the News Troll again. BAM!
"That almost took off my hand, Snake."
Snake shrugged and re-holstered his gun.
Then Ant and Goatboy rushed out the forest in front of them, panting. Sheepy raised an eyebrow.
"What you lads been up to then? Eh?" he winked.
"Shut up, you camp tart." muttered Goatboy. "We are emisarries from the Council of Nine."
"..Three." muttered Ant, looking around him nervously.
"Shut up. You must break the necklace! YOU CANNOT GIVE IT TO VEMONBYTE!" roared Goatboy.
"Oh. We did that." said YH.
"Oh. So we've come all this way for nothing?" asked Ant.
"Looks like it."
"B****r."
They all sat down. Snake had a quiet smoke, then Duckula and Igor (For the author has remembered his name) burst out of the forest behind Ant, panting.
"Eh eh, lads.." began Sheepy, and stopped when Snake hit him.
"We must have Ant and Goatbo.."
BAM! BAM!
They nodded to Snake, who again re-holsetred his gun. Those strange duck people had annoyed him, and now he had lost his smoke.
"Damn."
AND THEN the air ruptured. Lightning flashed out of the sky, and thunder crashed. An opening burst outwards, and VemonByte stepped through. Then he tripped, with kind of ruined the whole ocassion. But he sprung to his feet again, and spread his hands wide.
" I WILL NOW DESTROY YOU ALL!"
A lightning bolt flew from his hand towards er-no. Out of nowhere, Sniper lurched out of the forest and took the bolt mid-chest. He burned up in a few seconds. Er-no fainted.
" Hang on now..." began Stryke, and he, YH and Sheepy advanced towards VemonByte. He flicked a hand lazily and they flew backwards, crashing into treetrunks. They slid to the ground moaning. Goatboy looked at Ant, nodding.
" You must seize your destiny! NOW!"
He leapt towards VemonByte, screaming.
"Haiiii! WAAAAAAA! Tzeeeeeee!"
HE stopped when VemonByte didn't react.
"Erm...Hai? No? Not even a Suhhhhzeeeee! You sure? Oh."
VemonByte hit Goatboy so hard he turned a somersault before collapsing. VemonByte smiled, and stepped over him towards Ant, who gulped. He held out his hands, blue fire burning in them.
"Ow. Damn, thats hot."
VemonByte smiled. He raised a hand.
Above, the clouds slid over, revealing a full moon that shone brightly.
Mystique threw herself upright and howled...
Count Duckula and the bloke with him (forgotten his name, sorry), ran off in the direction of Ant and Goaty's receding footsteps.
This left, of the top of the authors head, Sheepy, YH, er-no, Stryke, Mys and Snake. In a forest. In the dark.
It was night, so they slept.
They woke up in the morning, and went on the hunt for the cave where the Necklace was supposed to be.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The trolls were bored. They'd heard from news troll that the theives were supposed to be on their way again, and so they had got ready.
That was a week ago.
They were not ready.
"It's getting a bit dark, isn't it?" Asked one of the trolls, who had learned how to speak properly.
"Aye." Said one of the ones that hadn't.
"The ground is trembling a bit as well..."
Suddenly, out of nowhere a big thing came out of the sky and crushed all the trolls.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Er, I think I've trod in something." Said YH.
"Woah! Those are the fiercesome 5cm high trolls of Muggleswibblewobble!" Said er-no.
"Well, forgive me if I'm not scared, but they look a bit flat and dead." Said Sheepy
"Now what are we supposed to do? We were supposed to challenge the trolls, and then if we won, they'd show us the cave. Now we're stuffed!" Said er-no, but in a really camp way. While wearing a skirt.
"No worries, this one has his arm out, we'll just walk in that direction." Said Sheepy.
"Good move Sheepster!" Said YH, spraying spring roll crumbs all over the place. And he walked off after the sarong wearing Sheepy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
"This must be the place." Said Sheepy.
"How do you know?" Asked er-no.
"Well, it's a large damp opening." Said Sheepy.
"So's YH's ars-"
"Enough! I'm fed up of all this campness, let's just get the damn necklace and break the spell!"
They went into the cave. After a few yards, a pedastal came into view. On it was the necklace, with a sign:
"Whoever wears the necklace, will not be gay. Everyone else will."
"Damn." Said Snake.
"Ok, who get's to wear the necklace?" Asked YH.
"Me!" Said everyone at once.
A big kind of tussle develops, which I suppose I should write out properly, but can't be arsed. Anyway, two people end up with the necklace, but they pull to hard.
And it breaks.
Bright letters appeared in front of them.
"Well done, you have been wise and Just. The spell is now broken. Anyone who acts gay really is."
"Oo-er ducky!" Said Stryke, before going red.
This left, of the top of the authors head, Sheepy, YH, er-no, Stryke, Mys and Snake. In a forest. In the dark.
It was night, so they slept.
They woke up in the morning, and went on the hunt for the cave where the Necklace was supposed to be.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The trolls were bored. They'd heard from news troll that the theives were supposed to be on their way again, and so they had got ready.
That was a week ago.
They were not ready.
"It's getting a bit dark, isn't it?" Asked one of the trolls, who had learned how to speak properly.
"Aye." Said one of the ones that hadn't.
"The ground is trembling a bit as well..."
Suddenly, out of nowhere a big thing came out of the sky and crushed all the trolls.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Er, I think I've trod in something." Said YH.
"Woah! Those are the fiercesome 5cm high trolls of Muggleswibblewobble!" Said er-no.
"Well, forgive me if I'm not scared, but they look a bit flat and dead." Said Sheepy
"Now what are we supposed to do? We were supposed to challenge the trolls, and then if we won, they'd show us the cave. Now we're stuffed!" Said er-no, but in a really camp way. While wearing a skirt.
"No worries, this one has his arm out, we'll just walk in that direction." Said Sheepy.
"Good move Sheepster!" Said YH, spraying spring roll crumbs all over the place. And he walked off after the sarong wearing Sheepy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
"This must be the place." Said Sheepy.
"How do you know?" Asked er-no.
"Well, it's a large damp opening." Said Sheepy.
"So's YH's ars-"
"Enough! I'm fed up of all this campness, let's just get the damn necklace and break the spell!"
They went into the cave. After a few yards, a pedastal came into view. On it was the necklace, with a sign:
"Whoever wears the necklace, will not be gay. Everyone else will."
"Damn." Said Snake.
"Ok, who get's to wear the necklace?" Asked YH.
"Me!" Said everyone at once.
A big kind of tussle develops, which I suppose I should write out properly, but can't be arsed. Anyway, two people end up with the necklace, but they pull to hard.
And it breaks.
Bright letters appeared in front of them.
"Well done, you have been wise and Just. The spell is now broken. Anyone who acts gay really is."
"Oo-er ducky!" Said Stryke, before going red.
Ant and Goatboy continued to sprint, pulling further and further away from Count Duckula and his rather slow friend.
Goatboy stopped, "shhhh..." he said, putting his hand over Ant's mouth. There were voices coming from only a few metres behind them.
"Where the hell are we going?"
"I dunno...Mystique's gone mad, I don't know what going on!"
"errrr, Snake, there's a large spider crawling up your leg."
BAM!!
"Snake...you've just killed it, and shot yourself in the leg doing so."
"Damn."
Goatboy began to run again, and Ant hastily followed.
_________________________
Snake quickly bandaged his leg which wasn't too badly injured, and they went on their way.
"AHHHHHHH!!" Stryke screamed, as a strange being suddenly leapt onto him. Stryke kicked him off, and stood back with the others.
"Who the hell are you!?"
The now man-resembling being stood up, brushed himself off and said, "sorry, thought you were somebody else."
A strange person who looked like he was suffering from haemorrhoids joined them. "Shorry Shir."
Count Duckula ignored him, "I am Count Duckula, looking for two men by the name of Ant and Goatboy. Seen them?"
"Nope."
"Hang on..." YH interrupted, "I did hear footsteps going that way." He pointed to his north.
"Aha, well let us follow them. We must get to them before it's too late!"
Goatboy stopped, "shhhh..." he said, putting his hand over Ant's mouth. There were voices coming from only a few metres behind them.
"Where the hell are we going?"
"I dunno...Mystique's gone mad, I don't know what going on!"
"errrr, Snake, there's a large spider crawling up your leg."
BAM!!
"Snake...you've just killed it, and shot yourself in the leg doing so."
"Damn."
Goatboy began to run again, and Ant hastily followed.
_________________________
Snake quickly bandaged his leg which wasn't too badly injured, and they went on their way.
"AHHHHHHH!!" Stryke screamed, as a strange being suddenly leapt onto him. Stryke kicked him off, and stood back with the others.
"Who the hell are you!?"
The now man-resembling being stood up, brushed himself off and said, "sorry, thought you were somebody else."
A strange person who looked like he was suffering from haemorrhoids joined them. "Shorry Shir."
Count Duckula ignored him, "I am Count Duckula, looking for two men by the name of Ant and Goatboy. Seen them?"
"Nope."
"Hang on..." YH interrupted, "I did hear footsteps going that way." He pointed to his north.
"Aha, well let us follow them. We must get to them before it's too late!"
"Mystique, you alright?" said Stryke, hurrying over to her as she shivered.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" she snarled. He backed away, hands held wide.
"Je-SUS!" said YH.
"Where?" asked Sheepy, so er-no slapped him."Fool."
"C'mon" said YH. "Let's get moving."
"No, where?" asked Sheepy again.
"I'm warning you." muttered er-no, hand raised.
--
Count Duckula sighed as the castle thudded down again.
"Igor!" he yelled.
"Yeth, marster?" said Igor, suddenly appeared.
"Damn you, Igor, don't lisp. You're from the Midlands."
"Ith expecthed, marster."
"Shut up."
He pulled his cloak wide.
"ANT, GOATBOY, YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE THI....Damn, where'd they go?"
Ant and Goatboy were hurrying down the path towards Translyvania.
"Sod it." muttered Duckula, and stamped his webbing petuantly.
"I coultd release the hounths, thur." suggested Igor
"We sold the hounds to pay for the guttering, Igor. C'mon, get your coat. WE CHASE!"
Igor moaned.
"It's bad for my haemerhoids, sir."
"Shut up."
--
"So you have news. We've established that." muttered Troll 2. "What is it?"
"BARTHAR!"
"He's talking to you again."
"Yes, I have news!"
"THEN WHAT IS IT!"
"TOTHSA!"
"Yep, that was to you again."
"The news is....The news is....Oh, b****r."
"You've forgotten haven't you?"
"I might have."
"Tart."
Troll 1 sighed and scoured the horizon. There might have been the suggestion of light out there. Dawn was breaking.
"MUTHAFUCA!"
"I think that was to you, Newsy."
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" she snarled. He backed away, hands held wide.
"Je-SUS!" said YH.
"Where?" asked Sheepy, so er-no slapped him."Fool."
"C'mon" said YH. "Let's get moving."
"No, where?" asked Sheepy again.
"I'm warning you." muttered er-no, hand raised.
--
Count Duckula sighed as the castle thudded down again.
"Igor!" he yelled.
"Yeth, marster?" said Igor, suddenly appeared.
"Damn you, Igor, don't lisp. You're from the Midlands."
"Ith expecthed, marster."
"Shut up."
He pulled his cloak wide.
"ANT, GOATBOY, YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE THI....Damn, where'd they go?"
Ant and Goatboy were hurrying down the path towards Translyvania.
"Sod it." muttered Duckula, and stamped his webbing petuantly.
"I coultd release the hounths, thur." suggested Igor
"We sold the hounds to pay for the guttering, Igor. C'mon, get your coat. WE CHASE!"
Igor moaned.
"It's bad for my haemerhoids, sir."
"Shut up."
--
"So you have news. We've established that." muttered Troll 2. "What is it?"
"BARTHAR!"
"He's talking to you again."
"Yes, I have news!"
"THEN WHAT IS IT!"
"TOTHSA!"
"Yep, that was to you again."
"The news is....The news is....Oh, b****r."
"You've forgotten haven't you?"
"I might have."
"Tart."
Troll 1 sighed and scoured the horizon. There might have been the suggestion of light out there. Dawn was breaking.
"MUTHAFUCA!"
"I think that was to you, Newsy."
You complete t**. How many times do we have to tell you - DO NOT POST IN THIS THREAD.
ant would i know you?
"You know you said the castle was teleporting??" Ant asked carefully.
"Yes..." The Count replied.
"Well...does that mean we're not in Romania anymore??"
"erm...well, it's possible. I'll take a look."
He walked over to the large front door, opened it, and then closed it again.
"Nope, you're lucky, we're still in Romania.
"Whereabouts??"
"A few miles from Transylvania by the looks of things."
"Ah, super." Ant said, doing a little dance of celebration.
Goatboy looked at him strangely, "You've been around VenomByte for too long."
_______________________
The Trolls stood, still waiting for their supposed victims.
News Troll once again appeared.
"I have news."
"Juk Huf fur...MISTH!!" Troll 7 said.
"What's up him with??" Troll 3 asked.
"I dunno. He's never, ever spoken for, so I guess he can't say one word correctly..." Troll 1 reasoned.
"I have news."
"Sud!!" Troll 7 cried.
"He's talking about you," Troll 2 said to Troll 4.
"Mean what do you?" He asked.
"Well, he said "sod."
"No, said he "sud." Troll 4 retorted.
"Fack Ou!!"
"There we go, he's talking about you again."
"I have news."
"He's not about me talking!!"
"Batch!!"
"There he goes again!"
"I have news."
Troll 1 sighed, as Troll 2, 4, 7 and News Troll continued to waffle on.
"Yes..." The Count replied.
"Well...does that mean we're not in Romania anymore??"
"erm...well, it's possible. I'll take a look."
He walked over to the large front door, opened it, and then closed it again.
"Nope, you're lucky, we're still in Romania.
"Whereabouts??"
"A few miles from Transylvania by the looks of things."
"Ah, super." Ant said, doing a little dance of celebration.
Goatboy looked at him strangely, "You've been around VenomByte for too long."
_______________________
The Trolls stood, still waiting for their supposed victims.
News Troll once again appeared.
"I have news."
"Juk Huf fur...MISTH!!" Troll 7 said.
"What's up him with??" Troll 3 asked.
"I dunno. He's never, ever spoken for, so I guess he can't say one word correctly..." Troll 1 reasoned.
"I have news."
"Sud!!" Troll 7 cried.
"He's talking about you," Troll 2 said to Troll 4.
"Mean what do you?" He asked.
"Well, he said "sod."
"No, said he "sud." Troll 4 retorted.
"Fack Ou!!"
"There we go, he's talking about you again."
"I have news."
"He's not about me talking!!"
"Batch!!"
"There he goes again!"
"I have news."
Troll 1 sighed, as Troll 2, 4, 7 and News Troll continued to waffle on.
The castle slammed into the ground, and Duckula made a sound akin to a "Phew!" except that no-one ever actually says Phew!
"Always doing that. Sodding Russians." he said. Ignor nodded in confirmation.
"How is it the Russians fault?" asked Ant
"No idea." said Duckula. "Fancy a drink?"
They went further into the castle
--
SNAP!
"SNAKE! It's already dead!" yelled YH
Snake shrugged, and dropped the skeleton. Stryke clapped a hand over his eyes. Suddenly they heard a faint noise, and a small glass of water appeared in Sheepy's hand, for dramatic effect. The glass began to shake, ripples gliding smoothly across it's surface. They looked down the road, and a shadow was moving menacingly, and fast.
"Get off the road!" yelled YH, is a effeminate voice. They looked at him. He shrugged, and they dived into the forest.
The shadow thundered past.
"What was it!" yelled Stryke, fear in his eyes.
"Supply lorry, by the looks of it." commented er-no.
They clambered out onto the road again, grinning sheepishly and avoiding catching each others eyes. Sheepy had drunk the water too.
"Hey, would you look at that!" said er-no. "The moon's almost full..."
Mystique shivered under her coat.
--
"...an O, gimme an N! WHATHAVEYOUGOT! VEMONBYTE!"
VemonByte shook his pompoms about and did a type of skip-dance. Then he realised what he was doing. He stormed across the room and stopped the CD playing Frank Sinatra's Greatest Hits. Safety Concious Neville moaned. He was knitting in the corner.
"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere?" snapped VemonByte.
"Yes! I'm supposed to be dancing the night away!"
"No, that's not it...."
But he had forgotten, so they pressed some more flowers.
"Always doing that. Sodding Russians." he said. Ignor nodded in confirmation.
"How is it the Russians fault?" asked Ant
"No idea." said Duckula. "Fancy a drink?"
They went further into the castle
--
SNAP!
"SNAKE! It's already dead!" yelled YH
Snake shrugged, and dropped the skeleton. Stryke clapped a hand over his eyes. Suddenly they heard a faint noise, and a small glass of water appeared in Sheepy's hand, for dramatic effect. The glass began to shake, ripples gliding smoothly across it's surface. They looked down the road, and a shadow was moving menacingly, and fast.
"Get off the road!" yelled YH, is a effeminate voice. They looked at him. He shrugged, and they dived into the forest.
The shadow thundered past.
"What was it!" yelled Stryke, fear in his eyes.
"Supply lorry, by the looks of it." commented er-no.
They clambered out onto the road again, grinning sheepishly and avoiding catching each others eyes. Sheepy had drunk the water too.
"Hey, would you look at that!" said er-no. "The moon's almost full..."
Mystique shivered under her coat.
--
"...an O, gimme an N! WHATHAVEYOUGOT! VEMONBYTE!"
VemonByte shook his pompoms about and did a type of skip-dance. Then he realised what he was doing. He stormed across the room and stopped the CD playing Frank Sinatra's Greatest Hits. Safety Concious Neville moaned. He was knitting in the corner.
"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere?" snapped VemonByte.
"Yes! I'm supposed to be dancing the night away!"
"No, that's not it...."
But he had forgotten, so they pressed some more flowers.
"Hello" said count Duckula, in a voice rather like that of David Jason.
"Hi" replied Ant. "We were wondering if we could stay the night."
"Of course, of course! Be my guests. Please come this way."
Goatboy and Ant followed the count down the gloomy, cobwebbed corridor. Their footsteps echoed into the distance, seeingly amplified by the silence that otherwise surrounded this place.
"Igor!" shouted the count, his voice echoing down the hallways.
"Yes, master?"
The three of them turned round to see the source of the voice, who had just appeared behind them, as if from nowhere. He was taller than count duckula, with broader, hunched shoulders. He looked a good deal older, too.
"Igor! I told you not to do that. Appear in front of me, like a normal person!"
"But that's not traditional, master"
"I don't care if its traditional. If I say you'll do it, you'll do it!"
"Very well, master."
"And you've been putting up cobwebs again, havent you?"
"Yes master. They're rather good, aren't they? Some of my best, I think. So lovely and sinister.
"No! No they're not! They're horrible and untidy! I want you to get rid of them, Igor!"
"Very well master"
Just then, there was a flash of light. The castle shook, and everyone fell to the floor.
"Oh no." groaned the count, clinging on to a suit of armour by the wall "The castle's teleporting again...."
-------------
YH and the group made good progress through the forest. Luckily, they hadn't come across any more creatues yet. At any rate, they were probably safe so long as the sun was up.
"Hey, over here!" yelled Stryke.
Stryke had been scouting ahead for the group, checking the terrain, when he'd found it.
Now the human skeleton was gazing up at him, it's lifeless eyes boring into his skull. It was about average height for a man, and bore a ring on the index finger of it's left hand. Stryke didn't know why there'd be a skeleton in the middle of the forset, and he didn't much care to think about it either.
Even more worrying though, was the fact that the bones were
intact. That is to say, no creature could have removed the flesh from these bones....
"Hi" replied Ant. "We were wondering if we could stay the night."
"Of course, of course! Be my guests. Please come this way."
Goatboy and Ant followed the count down the gloomy, cobwebbed corridor. Their footsteps echoed into the distance, seeingly amplified by the silence that otherwise surrounded this place.
"Igor!" shouted the count, his voice echoing down the hallways.
"Yes, master?"
The three of them turned round to see the source of the voice, who had just appeared behind them, as if from nowhere. He was taller than count duckula, with broader, hunched shoulders. He looked a good deal older, too.
"Igor! I told you not to do that. Appear in front of me, like a normal person!"
"But that's not traditional, master"
"I don't care if its traditional. If I say you'll do it, you'll do it!"
"Very well, master."
"And you've been putting up cobwebs again, havent you?"
"Yes master. They're rather good, aren't they? Some of my best, I think. So lovely and sinister.
"No! No they're not! They're horrible and untidy! I want you to get rid of them, Igor!"
"Very well master"
Just then, there was a flash of light. The castle shook, and everyone fell to the floor.
"Oh no." groaned the count, clinging on to a suit of armour by the wall "The castle's teleporting again...."
-------------
YH and the group made good progress through the forest. Luckily, they hadn't come across any more creatues yet. At any rate, they were probably safe so long as the sun was up.
"Hey, over here!" yelled Stryke.
Stryke had been scouting ahead for the group, checking the terrain, when he'd found it.
Now the human skeleton was gazing up at him, it's lifeless eyes boring into his skull. It was about average height for a man, and bore a ring on the index finger of it's left hand. Stryke didn't know why there'd be a skeleton in the middle of the forset, and he didn't much care to think about it either.
Even more worrying though, was the fact that the bones were
intact. That is to say, no creature could have removed the flesh from these bones....
Ant and Goatboy walked up the path to the castle. It was dark, what with it being night time and all, but luckily the sky was clear, and they could see their way easily in the moonlight.
What they didn't see, however, were the bats that were flying around the top of the castle.
"I hope it's nice and warm in there." Said Goatboy.
"Of course it will be. What are you talking about?".
"Well, in all the old films that I watch, the castle is always really cold and horrible." Whined Goatboy.
"Yes, but they're *films*. They're not real, idiot."
"Oh."
And so they continued their nervous chatter as they walked along the path, getting ever closer to the castle. They found themselves slowing down as they got nearer and nearer the door, as if they didn't really want to arrive.
However, arrive they finally did.
Goatboy could feel eyes on him, someone or something watching him for the darkness above.
Ant reached out a hand to knock on the door. It gave a big, deep, booming sound which echoed on for a few seconds. Slowly, the door creaked open.
Ant and Goatboy stared into the darkness, then walked in. The door slammed shut behind them.
"I should have known about that, it *always* happens in the films." Muttered Goatboy.
From out of nowhere the torches on the wall all lit up to reveal, standing infront of them in all of his horrible splendor...... Count Duckula!
What they didn't see, however, were the bats that were flying around the top of the castle.
"I hope it's nice and warm in there." Said Goatboy.
"Of course it will be. What are you talking about?".
"Well, in all the old films that I watch, the castle is always really cold and horrible." Whined Goatboy.
"Yes, but they're *films*. They're not real, idiot."
"Oh."
And so they continued their nervous chatter as they walked along the path, getting ever closer to the castle. They found themselves slowing down as they got nearer and nearer the door, as if they didn't really want to arrive.
However, arrive they finally did.
Goatboy could feel eyes on him, someone or something watching him for the darkness above.
Ant reached out a hand to knock on the door. It gave a big, deep, booming sound which echoed on for a few seconds. Slowly, the door creaked open.
Ant and Goatboy stared into the darkness, then walked in. The door slammed shut behind them.
"I should have known about that, it *always* happens in the films." Muttered Goatboy.
From out of nowhere the torches on the wall all lit up to reveal, standing infront of them in all of his horrible splendor...... Count Duckula!
Page: