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This is going to be an ongoing story, so I'll update when I can be bothered. Guess which style it's written in ;-)
ALI BOY'S DIARY
Alcohol Units: 4 (v.bad, should be more)
Cigarettes: 0 (I don’t smoke, so this won’t be of any use)
Calories: (I’m not anally retentive enough to count these)
January 1
V.bad start to New Year. Woke up with strange woman in some heather. Poss have policeman’s helmet on, can’t remember. Reached home at 3pm, very hungover. Will start resolutions tomorrow. Must go round to Rasta’s later. Will bring beer. Splendid.
Beer was bad idea. Now have headache size of Spain. Rasta was smug with new girlfriend. Will call Ant, he is also sad and alone. Maybe will get more beer.
January 2
Alcohol Units: 20 (much better)
Must get back to work today. Will start resolutions today – no more late night drinking, reports in on time, less cheese and talk about monkeys. Not v. sure about last one, might ignore. Meeting up with Ant, Rasta and Grix later. Will chat job and girls. Must call Mum to say Happy Christmas – have delayed so far…
Calling Mum was bad idea. Asked about work.
“ Errr…fine.”
” What is it you do Alan?”
“ I am a journalist mum.”
“ Glad to hear it!”
Mum has small memory – have been journalist and film critic since ’98. Suggest clinic to Dad. Must pick up Ant in taxi and go to bar.
Had great time with lads. Drunk much beer. Slightly drunk. Make that very drunk. Will start resolutions tomorrow.
January 3
Alcohol Units: 5 (sigh)
Cigarettes: (I’ll take it up soon)
Back to work today. Have fit female boss. Never going to happen. Never mind, seeing Lord of the Rings today. Have put off so far due to being drunk since Christmas Eve. Bad plan. Must review soon.
Great film. Boss (called Mystique) praised my review. Called Ant to ask what to do.
“ Ignore her. Funning ignore her till she funning funs you.”
Sound advice from Ant. He is good mate, poss gay, not sure. Definitely camp. Make point to find out. Will see Ant with Rasta and Grix tonight.
Good time. Asked Ant if he was gay. Got punch. Ice helped.
January 4
Alcohol Units: 0 (I must be getting old)
Eye still hurts. Will call Ant later, apologise. Get into work late. Area boss Goatboy is angry. Never mind, will rise in career and laugh at him. At moment he laughs at me. Not good. Will exert revenge. He wants Magnolia Sky review. Bad film. Good review. Apparently am interviewing Tom Cruise later at Ritz. Um, must have good questions. V. important. How about “ How’s life when short?” No, v.bad, more intelligent. Am budding film critic with aspirations of Film Night.
Uh oh. Big problem. Asked Cruise how life was with Nicole. Big mistake, keep up to date on celeb goss. That is supposed to be Stryke’s area. Where is he?
January 5
Alcohol Units: 19 (Getting better)
I am losing touch with women and will die alone. Went to drink with Ant who has forgiven me. He is not gay, as his new girlfriend is at pains to point out. Embarrassment e.t.c. Grix and Rasta arrived later. Rasta has dumped girlfriend for Gamecube. Seems pleased. Leave it at that. Try to chat to fit girl at bar. Fail miserably. Am consoled by lager. Ant and Grix dump me at flat. V.cold and had lost keys. Was preparing for life as tramp and beggar when found keys in pocket.
January 6
Alcohol Units: 5 (Had to work on interview)
Have had good day. Boss Mystique invited me for interview and was poss. Flirting. Not sure. She definitely smiled at me. Am preparing for life as stud. In celebration wrote stunning review. Even Goatboy was almost pleased. Will kill him later. Stryke managed to get gossip to me today. Will not sack him till tomorrow then.
Someone else was sacked, I have new job as top film critic. Goatboy is obviously displeased. Will put laxatives in his tea. Mystique winks at me. Good sign.
Worked late to please Mystique, although she was in meeting. Will not take as bad sign.
Chatted to Grix at KFC. Grix is post graduate student at Oxford. My degree in Media looks pitiful. Will better self. Grix is worried about life. Got him drunk. He felt better. Am great life counsellor and superb friend, as well as career king. Must get girlfriend.
ALI BOY'S DIARY
Alcohol Units: 4 (v.bad, should be more)
Cigarettes: 0 (I don’t smoke, so this won’t be of any use)
Calories: (I’m not anally retentive enough to count these)
January 1
V.bad start to New Year. Woke up with strange woman in some heather. Poss have policeman’s helmet on, can’t remember. Reached home at 3pm, very hungover. Will start resolutions tomorrow. Must go round to Rasta’s later. Will bring beer. Splendid.
Beer was bad idea. Now have headache size of Spain. Rasta was smug with new girlfriend. Will call Ant, he is also sad and alone. Maybe will get more beer.
January 2
Alcohol Units: 20 (much better)
Must get back to work today. Will start resolutions today – no more late night drinking, reports in on time, less cheese and talk about monkeys. Not v. sure about last one, might ignore. Meeting up with Ant, Rasta and Grix later. Will chat job and girls. Must call Mum to say Happy Christmas – have delayed so far…
Calling Mum was bad idea. Asked about work.
“ Errr…fine.”
” What is it you do Alan?”
“ I am a journalist mum.”
“ Glad to hear it!”
Mum has small memory – have been journalist and film critic since ’98. Suggest clinic to Dad. Must pick up Ant in taxi and go to bar.
Had great time with lads. Drunk much beer. Slightly drunk. Make that very drunk. Will start resolutions tomorrow.
January 3
Alcohol Units: 5 (sigh)
Cigarettes: (I’ll take it up soon)
Back to work today. Have fit female boss. Never going to happen. Never mind, seeing Lord of the Rings today. Have put off so far due to being drunk since Christmas Eve. Bad plan. Must review soon.
Great film. Boss (called Mystique) praised my review. Called Ant to ask what to do.
“ Ignore her. Funning ignore her till she funning funs you.”
Sound advice from Ant. He is good mate, poss gay, not sure. Definitely camp. Make point to find out. Will see Ant with Rasta and Grix tonight.
Good time. Asked Ant if he was gay. Got punch. Ice helped.
January 4
Alcohol Units: 0 (I must be getting old)
Eye still hurts. Will call Ant later, apologise. Get into work late. Area boss Goatboy is angry. Never mind, will rise in career and laugh at him. At moment he laughs at me. Not good. Will exert revenge. He wants Magnolia Sky review. Bad film. Good review. Apparently am interviewing Tom Cruise later at Ritz. Um, must have good questions. V. important. How about “ How’s life when short?” No, v.bad, more intelligent. Am budding film critic with aspirations of Film Night.
Uh oh. Big problem. Asked Cruise how life was with Nicole. Big mistake, keep up to date on celeb goss. That is supposed to be Stryke’s area. Where is he?
January 5
Alcohol Units: 19 (Getting better)
I am losing touch with women and will die alone. Went to drink with Ant who has forgiven me. He is not gay, as his new girlfriend is at pains to point out. Embarrassment e.t.c. Grix and Rasta arrived later. Rasta has dumped girlfriend for Gamecube. Seems pleased. Leave it at that. Try to chat to fit girl at bar. Fail miserably. Am consoled by lager. Ant and Grix dump me at flat. V.cold and had lost keys. Was preparing for life as tramp and beggar when found keys in pocket.
January 6
Alcohol Units: 5 (Had to work on interview)
Have had good day. Boss Mystique invited me for interview and was poss. Flirting. Not sure. She definitely smiled at me. Am preparing for life as stud. In celebration wrote stunning review. Even Goatboy was almost pleased. Will kill him later. Stryke managed to get gossip to me today. Will not sack him till tomorrow then.
Someone else was sacked, I have new job as top film critic. Goatboy is obviously displeased. Will put laxatives in his tea. Mystique winks at me. Good sign.
Worked late to please Mystique, although she was in meeting. Will not take as bad sign.
Chatted to Grix at KFC. Grix is post graduate student at Oxford. My degree in Media looks pitiful. Will better self. Grix is worried about life. Got him drunk. He felt better. Am great life counsellor and superb friend, as well as career king. Must get girlfriend.
Page:
March 1
Ah, a new month, time for new ideas and new things to happen in my life. Starting with finding clothes for...damn...
"What was your name again?" I asked.
"Shut the fun up, AliBoy. You're beginning to funning pee me off,you know." said Ant, who was driving.
"You're funning touchy you know that, Ant?" I reply.
"Oh, go fun your bird."
"Right you are."
I dive back into the mess of clothing and luggage in the back.
We've been driving all day. Not exactly sure where we are heading. By the time we arrived at the Channel Tunnel, Pb was proclaimed technically insane by me and Grix. Grix has a beard, so he knows stuff. Pb muttered a bit in response. Happy still hasn't emerged from his case. I'm debating giving him a rattle. Rasta is attempting to breast-feed the GBA's. Seems puzzled.
March 2
Alcohol Units: Ah, sweet alcohol. Oh yeah, 62.
We're in Germany, maybe. I can't see fat people in leiderhosen. Except for Pb, of course. Hm.
We stop at our destination. The best place in Germany. The airport.
"Let's get the fun out of this funning country." muttered Grix. Ant nods and picks up Happy's suitcase. Rasta doesn't move. I get dressed and get out, along with the girl.
"Rasta, get out."
"I can't! The kids haven't ever flown before! They'll get deep circuit thrombisis."
"...T**. Get up."
Muttering, he pats the kids and tells them it'll be alright. Note to self: Sell Rasta for beer money.
"So, what is your name?" I ask.
"..." she begins.
"No, don't tell me. BigBreast? No, been done?"
"No, it's K..."
"Excellent! Knockers it is. Come along."
We buy tickets for...LAS VEGAS! Muah. Did I just write Muah? So I did. Fancy that. Pb is prancing around in his leiderhosen. He seems very proud of them.
March 3
Long plane journey so far. I'm tired, and I need a dump.
Knockers is entwining my hair in her fingers and whispering sweet nothings in my ear. Heh, I know what to do here.
"SWEET JESUS! WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF! I'm TRYING to sleep. JE-SUS!"
Hm, she seems affronted. Maybe I'd better leave for a while.
"I'm just going to the toilet." I whisper to her, aware that everyone is watching.
"Gotcha." She winks. Strange.
I go to the toilet and proceed to start the titanic process of laying a dump larger than Wales. Knockers opens the door.
"Hey, Big Boy." she whispers. What the hell is she doing interrupting my dump? She sits on my lap. Oooooh..
March 4
Excellent. We're landing in Las Vegas, I've had sex in a toilet, and laid a massive dump.
"That was brilliant." she whispers to me.
"Yeah, it was rather good. But it didn't block the toilet."
We get rooms at Caesar's Palace. I see no Caesar. And where's the funning palace? I demand my money back, or at least sex from the owner. Providing she's female. If he's male then Grix can have his fun.
I am sharing a massive room with Knockers. Big big double bed. This definitely means that riding is on the activities list.
Oh, it actually is. Cool.
I slap my hands together.
"Right then, shall we?"
"But I want to have fun in Las Vegas!"
"Yes, I'm sure you do......" I say. "Sex?"
"Is that all you think about!"
"Um, pretty much."
"I'm going to go swimming!"
"I know an easier way to get wet."
Excellent.
To Do:
Replinish stock of contraceptives. Preventatives. Sigh...Condoms, stop reading over my shoulder, Rasta.
Steal some old persons "chips" and spend them on "slot machines."
Fully investigate Knockers' slot machine.
Ah, a new month, time for new ideas and new things to happen in my life. Starting with finding clothes for...damn...
"What was your name again?" I asked.
"Shut the fun up, AliBoy. You're beginning to funning pee me off,you know." said Ant, who was driving.
"You're funning touchy you know that, Ant?" I reply.
"Oh, go fun your bird."
"Right you are."
I dive back into the mess of clothing and luggage in the back.
We've been driving all day. Not exactly sure where we are heading. By the time we arrived at the Channel Tunnel, Pb was proclaimed technically insane by me and Grix. Grix has a beard, so he knows stuff. Pb muttered a bit in response. Happy still hasn't emerged from his case. I'm debating giving him a rattle. Rasta is attempting to breast-feed the GBA's. Seems puzzled.
March 2
Alcohol Units: Ah, sweet alcohol. Oh yeah, 62.
We're in Germany, maybe. I can't see fat people in leiderhosen. Except for Pb, of course. Hm.
We stop at our destination. The best place in Germany. The airport.
"Let's get the fun out of this funning country." muttered Grix. Ant nods and picks up Happy's suitcase. Rasta doesn't move. I get dressed and get out, along with the girl.
"Rasta, get out."
"I can't! The kids haven't ever flown before! They'll get deep circuit thrombisis."
"...T**. Get up."
Muttering, he pats the kids and tells them it'll be alright. Note to self: Sell Rasta for beer money.
"So, what is your name?" I ask.
"..." she begins.
"No, don't tell me. BigBreast? No, been done?"
"No, it's K..."
"Excellent! Knockers it is. Come along."
We buy tickets for...LAS VEGAS! Muah. Did I just write Muah? So I did. Fancy that. Pb is prancing around in his leiderhosen. He seems very proud of them.
March 3
Long plane journey so far. I'm tired, and I need a dump.
Knockers is entwining my hair in her fingers and whispering sweet nothings in my ear. Heh, I know what to do here.
"SWEET JESUS! WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF! I'm TRYING to sleep. JE-SUS!"
Hm, she seems affronted. Maybe I'd better leave for a while.
"I'm just going to the toilet." I whisper to her, aware that everyone is watching.
"Gotcha." She winks. Strange.
I go to the toilet and proceed to start the titanic process of laying a dump larger than Wales. Knockers opens the door.
"Hey, Big Boy." she whispers. What the hell is she doing interrupting my dump? She sits on my lap. Oooooh..
March 4
Excellent. We're landing in Las Vegas, I've had sex in a toilet, and laid a massive dump.
"That was brilliant." she whispers to me.
"Yeah, it was rather good. But it didn't block the toilet."
We get rooms at Caesar's Palace. I see no Caesar. And where's the funning palace? I demand my money back, or at least sex from the owner. Providing she's female. If he's male then Grix can have his fun.
I am sharing a massive room with Knockers. Big big double bed. This definitely means that riding is on the activities list.
Oh, it actually is. Cool.
I slap my hands together.
"Right then, shall we?"
"But I want to have fun in Las Vegas!"
"Yes, I'm sure you do......" I say. "Sex?"
"Is that all you think about!"
"Um, pretty much."
"I'm going to go swimming!"
"I know an easier way to get wet."
Excellent.
To Do:
Replinish stock of contraceptives. Preventatives. Sigh...Condoms, stop reading over my shoulder, Rasta.
Steal some old persons "chips" and spend them on "slot machines."
Fully investigate Knockers' slot machine.
Lol!
That's my daily shot of AliBoy's Diary taken care of *Sigh*
That's my daily shot of AliBoy's Diary taken care of *Sigh*
LOLOLOL!
Best one yet!
Bah, feeding time... *Get's the GC/GBA link-up lead* Oooo, you are hungry aren't you little ones...
:-D
Best one yet!
Bah, feeding time... *Get's the GC/GBA link-up lead* Oooo, you are hungry aren't you little ones...
:-D
Excellent, sure did brighten up what has been rather a pants day.
Cheers Gaz.
Cheers Gaz.
February 26
Mm. Heh. I saw t**s. Where are these t**s? I look around. Right, I'm dressed in a skirt as a tank top. Nothing new there...Hang on, where's the lovely innocent tour girl? Damn, this always happens. It's exactly like last time. Hang on, let me check...No, not exactly like last time. Phew.
I stagger out of the copse where I have spent the night entwined with a beautiful woman, making love under the stars. Well, that's what I'm going to tell the lads. It went badly, I think..
"Aren't you even going to TRY faking?" I remember asking. Damn.
Where has my sexual gift for pleasing the female of our species gone? I bet Rasta has nicked it, the pikey. That reminds me, he's got to be back by now. I meet up with Ant.
"Hey, Ant. Have you noticed you're naked?"
"Hm? Oh yeah. Will you look at that?"
"Yes, I just did. Why are you sans clothing?"
"Well, there was this lovely tour girl. But she didn't even try faking."
I breath a sigh of relief. Either Ant's gift for lovemaking has also gone, or she is just hard to please. We were wandering back to our hut when a group of teenagers step out in front of us.
"Whassup, you up for a large innit!" asked the Alpha male.
Ant and me looked at each other.
"Here's 10p." I offer. "Don't spend it all at once."
"Nah way, man, gona buy us some booze innit?" This might be the Alpha female. I'm not sure. It's voice is high.
"Rasta?" I ask. They ignore me.
"No, we are not going to buy you any alcohol. How old are you?"
"27."
"Bollix." says Ant.
"Yes, you have a particularly fine pair." I add.
"Right den, we is gona rough u up bigtime!" says a personage that looks gay.
Seven minutes later, we arrive back at the hut. Ant is now fully clothed, wearing some sort of top with a hood that says "Please slit my throat and donate all my blood to RSPCA" on it. I am holding 50 quid.
"Very generous of them."
February 27
Next-to-last-day at Centre Parcs. I must find a woman to please. Happy still hasn't regained some sort of activity, but he is wearing a bemused grin. Grix is looking at me. Is Grix gay? Ant is still wearing his hoody. Pb is making no attempt to hide the fact he is making love to the barwoman under a desk. Rasta is a midget, but that's nothing new. Oh, yes, he arrived back in the middle of the night, with a bag.
"Welcome back." we say
He strokes the bag. We look at him strangely.
"I'm a very lucky man. I still had my Gamecube with me when you shot me into Derbyshire. Look!"
He tipped the bag out. 2 Gameboy Advances fell out.
"So?" I ask.
He beams at me. "We've had children! This one is called Purple. He's a boy. This one is called Pink. It's either gay or female. haven't decided. Aren't they beautiful?"
He then removed the Gamecube from his pants.
"This is my finacee. We are engaged to be married."
Silence.
"Yah. You're gay." said Pb, briefly stopping his 3-day marathon session with the barwoman.
So thats it. Rasta is marrying a leathered coated spiky peice of plastic. Seems orgasmic. I'm very happy for them.
February 28
last day of February, and also our last day at Centre Parcs. We realise we've done nothing except drink. Never mind. We fold the comatose Happy into Rasta's suitcase.
"Shouldn't we see a doctor about him?" says Grix.
"Why? I feel fine." says Ant, and lobs Happy into the boot.
I feel obliged to say something to the tour girl. I walk up to her.
"I hope you enjoyed your stay!" she says.
"Yes, riding."
"Indeed! Do you want a goodbye leaflet?"
"Wouldn't mind a goodbye shag."
"Heheh! You are a tease!"
"No, I'm serious. You and me, in this here car. Right now. It wouldn't take long."
"Yes, thats right, it wouldn't take long!"
I consider this. "Right. Sex?"
"I've got all these people to see to!"
"I've got you to give a good seeing to."
"OK! I'm coming!"
"No you're not. Oh, I see..."
We jump in the back of the Mini and demonstrate the fine activity of riding.
"OI! ALIBOY! WE'RE LEAVING! YOU COMING?" yells Ant, from the front.
"Erm, yes. Yes I am."
"Fair enough. Let's go then."
I haven't noticed that Grix and Pb are sitting on the other back seat of the Mini, watching with interest. Rasta is to busy trying to teach the Gameboys to walk.
Several miles later, we stop.
"Oh no! I've got activities to see to!" she screams.
"Like sex?"
I am a sex god and should be recognized as such. It takes me but a moment to realise I am naked in a car with a male who very possibly loves me, a midget with electronical children, a comatose pikey in a suitcase and a sex-mad barman. Oh yes, and Ant.
"Well, there's something I have to know, after all we've been through as a couple." I ask the tour girl.
"Oh yes? What's that?"
"What's your name?"
Mm. Heh. I saw t**s. Where are these t**s? I look around. Right, I'm dressed in a skirt as a tank top. Nothing new there...Hang on, where's the lovely innocent tour girl? Damn, this always happens. It's exactly like last time. Hang on, let me check...No, not exactly like last time. Phew.
I stagger out of the copse where I have spent the night entwined with a beautiful woman, making love under the stars. Well, that's what I'm going to tell the lads. It went badly, I think..
"Aren't you even going to TRY faking?" I remember asking. Damn.
Where has my sexual gift for pleasing the female of our species gone? I bet Rasta has nicked it, the pikey. That reminds me, he's got to be back by now. I meet up with Ant.
"Hey, Ant. Have you noticed you're naked?"
"Hm? Oh yeah. Will you look at that?"
"Yes, I just did. Why are you sans clothing?"
"Well, there was this lovely tour girl. But she didn't even try faking."
I breath a sigh of relief. Either Ant's gift for lovemaking has also gone, or she is just hard to please. We were wandering back to our hut when a group of teenagers step out in front of us.
"Whassup, you up for a large innit!" asked the Alpha male.
Ant and me looked at each other.
"Here's 10p." I offer. "Don't spend it all at once."
"Nah way, man, gona buy us some booze innit?" This might be the Alpha female. I'm not sure. It's voice is high.
"Rasta?" I ask. They ignore me.
"No, we are not going to buy you any alcohol. How old are you?"
"27."
"Bollix." says Ant.
"Yes, you have a particularly fine pair." I add.
"Right den, we is gona rough u up bigtime!" says a personage that looks gay.
Seven minutes later, we arrive back at the hut. Ant is now fully clothed, wearing some sort of top with a hood that says "Please slit my throat and donate all my blood to RSPCA" on it. I am holding 50 quid.
"Very generous of them."
February 27
Next-to-last-day at Centre Parcs. I must find a woman to please. Happy still hasn't regained some sort of activity, but he is wearing a bemused grin. Grix is looking at me. Is Grix gay? Ant is still wearing his hoody. Pb is making no attempt to hide the fact he is making love to the barwoman under a desk. Rasta is a midget, but that's nothing new. Oh, yes, he arrived back in the middle of the night, with a bag.
"Welcome back." we say
He strokes the bag. We look at him strangely.
"I'm a very lucky man. I still had my Gamecube with me when you shot me into Derbyshire. Look!"
He tipped the bag out. 2 Gameboy Advances fell out.
"So?" I ask.
He beams at me. "We've had children! This one is called Purple. He's a boy. This one is called Pink. It's either gay or female. haven't decided. Aren't they beautiful?"
He then removed the Gamecube from his pants.
"This is my finacee. We are engaged to be married."
Silence.
"Yah. You're gay." said Pb, briefly stopping his 3-day marathon session with the barwoman.
So thats it. Rasta is marrying a leathered coated spiky peice of plastic. Seems orgasmic. I'm very happy for them.
February 28
last day of February, and also our last day at Centre Parcs. We realise we've done nothing except drink. Never mind. We fold the comatose Happy into Rasta's suitcase.
"Shouldn't we see a doctor about him?" says Grix.
"Why? I feel fine." says Ant, and lobs Happy into the boot.
I feel obliged to say something to the tour girl. I walk up to her.
"I hope you enjoyed your stay!" she says.
"Yes, riding."
"Indeed! Do you want a goodbye leaflet?"
"Wouldn't mind a goodbye shag."
"Heheh! You are a tease!"
"No, I'm serious. You and me, in this here car. Right now. It wouldn't take long."
"Yes, thats right, it wouldn't take long!"
I consider this. "Right. Sex?"
"I've got all these people to see to!"
"I've got you to give a good seeing to."
"OK! I'm coming!"
"No you're not. Oh, I see..."
We jump in the back of the Mini and demonstrate the fine activity of riding.
"OI! ALIBOY! WE'RE LEAVING! YOU COMING?" yells Ant, from the front.
"Erm, yes. Yes I am."
"Fair enough. Let's go then."
I haven't noticed that Grix and Pb are sitting on the other back seat of the Mini, watching with interest. Rasta is to busy trying to teach the Gameboys to walk.
Several miles later, we stop.
"Oh no! I've got activities to see to!" she screams.
"Like sex?"
I am a sex god and should be recognized as such. It takes me but a moment to realise I am naked in a car with a male who very possibly loves me, a midget with electronical children, a comatose pikey in a suitcase and a sex-mad barman. Oh yes, and Ant.
"Well, there's something I have to know, after all we've been through as a couple." I ask the tour girl.
"Oh yes? What's that?"
"What's your name?"
Hehehe...
Can say that the last one there was the funniest thing I have read for a while. The diary rocks and should go on for as long as possible.
Cheers Stryke, just hope we see loads more.
Cheers Stryke, just hope we see loads more.
Damn hot!
I count it as a small mercy that while I cannot post on here at work, I can still read these fantastic diary entries.
Thanks Stryke!
I count it as a small mercy that while I cannot post on here at work, I can still read these fantastic diary entries.
Thanks Stryke!
LOL!
LOL!
Ahh, it's been a while since I've laughed A LOT when on the internet!
LOL!
Ahh, it's been a while since I've laughed A LOT when on the internet!
Lol!
Hot sex under happy... hehehehhe...
Hot sex under happy... hehehehhe...
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