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"How Sniper got his groove back."

Sniper lay on the medic table, that Grix lay on oh so long ago... just before they all entered his mind, and entered a world of the west, fought like cowboys and swore like Scotsmen.

Sniper, was in what seemed a coma... mind you, he didn't actually have a mind, as it had been removed...

Oh right, you don't know about any of this crap... better update you then.

A week ago, Sniper's and Bill Gate's mind were both put onto a megadrive cartridge after they failed to save him. Soon after that, Grix died, so they put his mind on it too. So he's kinda alive, but not.

Hmmm.

Let's start again.

Sniper's mind is now on the megadrive cartridge along with Bill Gate's mind and Grix's. We don't know why.

But, Sniper's mind for some reason has taken control, and now has created a world for which the minds to live in. A bit like the Matrix, but not.

For you see, it's Sniper's mind that creates the world... much like Grix's mind made the western world, that they all got stuck in.

Hmmm...

Did you ever see that episode of Red Dwarf when Kryten got that bug, and in order to fight it, he made a computer program that he fought in with his mind? Gunmen of the Apocolypse, right?

Well, it's like that.

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"Would anyone be utterly shocked if we entered this thing and it was just a barren wasteland?" Pb asked.

"Now now, they'll be room for plenty of empty minded Sniper jokes later. Let's not ruin them all now." FM replied.

They had chosen the original four to go back inside the Megadrive cartridge, for obvious reasons. Being "more deserving to be wrote about" seemed to be top reason.

So Venombyte, Pb, Meka and FantasyMeister all decided that they would enter, Goatboy then managed to convince them that he should go too. Rock and roll, apparently.

So it was decided. The rest just lay around, and waited. And so they entered Sniper's mind.

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Tuesday. Just a name for another day.

Sniper doodled a naked woman in his diary... completely out of proportion, dreamy.

He had been stuck inside all day, waiting... just like any other damn day. He wore a black and white suit, and waited in his black and white room... he looked out into the white sky, with black clouds and black rain. It was if the whole damn world was black and white.

He dreamed of a rainbow, but he couldn't remember what it looked like.

Hell, he couldn't even remember what his face looked like. He got up from his desk, and walked to the mirror.

A damn handsome man starred back at him... just as he thought, he was beautiful. How could he forget.

He went back to his desk, and began to clear away his things. Pointless staying in the office all day... damn, he needed to get out... and of course, his award ceremony tonight, dedicated to him... was supposed to be a surprise, but how do you hide something from Sniper?

He smiled to himself. He rocked.

A knock came at the black and white door of his colourless room... as it opened, the name of the occupant and his job description flew also, along with a beautiful woman in a red dress.

"Detective Sniper? Is that you?"

Sniper turned fully around, and brushed his hair back with his fingers.

"Hi there sugarcake. What can I do for you?"

The woman seemed flustered, embarressed.

"To be honest, I'm... I didn't expect you to look... so..."

"Handsome? Don't worry darling, the words will come, but let us forget communication for the time being, and let's get down to business..."

"No... I... but..." The woman resisted, still clinging to the handle of the door. "I need your help, I'm worried... I think there is someone trying to kill me."

Sniper took the words like the smoke from his cigarette, calmly destroying his insides while seeming so good. "I'm intrigued, why would anyone want to kill you?"

"I don't know..." The woman obviously lied. "I just... you have to protect me. It's Grix Thraves, I think he's stalking me."

Grix... the name made his tongue sting every time he uttered the word... speaking out to him like a lemon juice without any added sugar.

"Grix..." He said, wiping his tongue with his teeth. "Him."

"Yeah... he's after me Sniper, I feel him everywhere I go..."

Sniper's thoughts disgusted him. "Damn him. Don't worry darling, I'll get him, don't you worry about it."

"Thank you, please, I have something to tell you..." The woman left the door, and approuched Sniper... she leaned in towards him...

Sniper smiled and looked deep into her eyes...

"You can find him usually in the arms of a lady in the Queen's Arms at 9:00PM every night."

"The Queen's Arms? But that's a gay bar." Sniper said, thoughtful.

"How do you know that?"

Sniper looked around. "I'm a private detective sugarcup, I have to know these things." Sniper smoothed back his hair again.

"Please, Sniper, make love to me, now, please!" The woman fell to her knees.

"Not now darling, my clan awaits me... tonight we're playing Unreal Tournament." He paused. "It's been a while. A long while." Sniper left the room, and the woman cried in her arms.

Making sense out of what Yoghurt said was one thing, dodging the multi-flavoured sploges of yoghurt was another.

Sheepy screamed! "Argh! Will you PLEASE watch what you're doing with that bloody yoghurt!"

Yoghurt Guy said down... he seems to be offended. Well... at least for the split second before he was occupied by his swivel chair...

Sheepy didn't have a clue where he was... the white room was quite cool, actually... it was kind of blue-white... if there is such a colour... but anyway.. what was most interesting was the coin-op windows.. but they didn't refect what was outside, but each one was different... one, a gateway to some book store... and other to a weird foggy town, a bit like Silent hill, but it was patrolled by blue cats, and there was no sign of a home made zombie-detector. Another was a space one, which was the most intriging... there seemed to be a few familiar faces in the ship... Pb maybe, but Sheepy couldn't tell...

He did have a quid in his pocket, but the decision to meet up with some mates and eat loads of fromage frais wasn't an easy one to make...

"How improbable was that?" Asked Grix to his brain. They had just gone through a worm hole and were in a patch of space that looked exactly like the patch of space they had been in before.

"How improbable is that?" Brain asked.

"What?"

"That ship that's just suddenly appeared behind us, just as we were about to die from lack of air as well."

"My, that *is* helpful." A hatchway opened and Grix and Brain were sucked inside the ship.

They were in a white room when a voice appeared from nowhere:

"Attempting to get back to normaly probability..."

- - - - - - - - - - -

YH was doing something. Probably from Episode 1, but the film was a**e, so he can't remember exactly what.

Oh yeah, Ant left work with a big annoying smile on his face. I think.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Darth Sheepy fell unconcious due to heatstroke.

Well, if you stand in the middle of a baking desert dressed all in black, what do you expect?

Anyway, some little people in Maroon robes and eyes that light up came and found up, picked him and took him to see the Great Yoghurt, who taught him to use the Schwartz.

FantasyMeister woke up in a puddle of vomit...

He glanced up... sheilding his eyes from the sunlight, next to him was a strange shaped bottle.

He focussed in on the bottle label 'Hair Kairs?'.

Trying to sit up, FM's view was blocked by a shadow...

" goodle muddle ugly man hoodle "

FM tried to say something but ended up sounding like a strangled dog farting in the wind...

FM then passed out....

--------

Meanwhile in Space:

"So..." said Grix as he put his hands together...

"Yes" replied Sniper's brain.

" Whats going to happen to us then? "

" Well I'm not sure... although I'm sure some unoriginal idea may bring us back into the story "

" Yeah? like what? "

" I don't know, well we seem to be safe as were in Star Wars space... how about a wormhole? "

" Yeah what happens then? "

" Well it seems were going into one now "

" Ah lovely " replied Grix, clasping his hands once more before his body was stretched and thrown into oblivian.


( Well it was my first go, :D )

TO ALL WRITERS:

If you have lost the plot, unable to keep up with anything that has happened so far, then you should be able to just write straight on from this.

Don't worry if you get it all wrong... who cares? Writing is supposed to be fun.

Sniper's brain is now found, and known only by Grix and his brain. He's an intelligent creature... and Sniper knows little, or nothing, of him. We don't know which.

We're still stuck inside Sniper's mind... but it has now been heavily influenced by Star Wars, Episode One.

Sniper's brain, because Sniper would never talk to him, created a world inside his mind to help him keep sane. He created people, situations, emotions. He ruled a world, in which no-one had heard of him. However, when Grix, Pb and everyone entered Sniper's mind, the balance of the people were set aside... people's lives suddenly started to change, and his world was disrupted.

Sniper's brain offered this. If they could help return balance to Sniper's mind, so everything could return to how it was, then he would be happy for them to leave Sniper's mind once more.

That's all you need to know.

------------

"So what now?"

Sniper's brain stroked his chin...

Grix and his brain sat around a small circular table with Sniper's brain. They were thousands of miles away from any planet... just floating around like a tin in space...

"This world... it inspires great beauty in my eyes." Sniper's brain finally said. "Some imagination that speaks beyond my own... I dedicate my life to ruling... creating... but the world that I made... it wasn't worth ruling. Not to this. Not to this."

The stars spiral around the windows which light the room.

"I believe you had asked for a certain push in another direction... enough to set the balance straight again. When we entered Sniper's mind, we knocked the balance... but now his mind is set at Episode One, then surely now the balance is equalled? The mind has reset... all people in his mind."

"You're missing one rather large point, my dear friend."

Grix's brain watched as Sniper's alternative stood, and walked to the window.

"This world... you live here now. When it was created, you were here. If you leave, then the balance will be disrupted again."

"Well why can't you just write us out of the story? Write us all out so we can return to our lives?" Grix asked.

"Because... I can't." Sniper's brain replied.

Grix and his brain suddenly found themselves falling...

And then they were in space.

"Err... what the hell?"

"We've got sixteen seconds before our heads explode..." Grix's brain said...

"No... no we haven't. We're in the Star Wars universe, we can do this for a while."

"What?"

"On several occasions we see characters out in space without spacesuits or anything... we can get away with it."

"What? When?"

"In Empire Strikes Back, they go out and walk inside the asteroid/creature. That's still in space... and at the end, Luke hangs from the bottom of that place... where he fights Darth Vader, you know?"

"And added to the fact we're still not dead, I'm beginning to believe you're right."

Grix and his brain looked out into infinity.

"Space is nice."

-----------------

"So what now?" Pb asked Goatboy and Venombyte. Sniper mooched around in the background.

"Meesa dunno, meesa gonna get meessa deessa weesea." Goatboy replied.

Venombyte slapped him.

"Sorry." Goatboy said.

Time passed quickly on Tatooine... the sun blasted down on anything that even tried to oppose it.

"You know, I can't remember being here ten minutes ago." Venombyte said.

"I thought we were going to go and watch the Pod Races this afternoon?"

"Oh yeah. So we are."

--------------

"So what now?"

"Go and clean up the mess you made out back... and then perhaps you can go home." Your Honour said.

"Yippee!" Ant screamed, as he jumped around the engine shop, and bounced out the back way...

--------------

"So what now?" Darth Sheepy asked, before realising he was all alone.

He stood at the brow of a sandy hill, and tried his best to look evil.

--------------

And as always, nobody had any idea where Fantasymeister was.

ERm wot you mean? I'm still posting here innit?

No. But we're all in your dream. :-)

Atleast you've not died in this one.

Back for good then Sniper?

duh duh duh! :D i'm awake @ this time??!

duh duh duh! :D i'm awake @ this time??!

Strafex looked at Ant.

"I thought you put in A New Hope! This is episode 1. We agreed A New Hope."

Ant grinned. "A New Hope was your choice. I put in MY favourite. Besides, if you'd read what Grix wrote more carefully, it wouldn't have happened."

Strafex grumbled a bit but lightened up. A New Hope was only 3 episodes away...

Grix and his brain stared at Sniper's brain in disbelief.
It had stopped doing anything. The eye's it's human form had was glazed over. Then everything started disappearing...

The library, the mansion, the railway station, the entire town, just disappeared out of sight.
Grix watched as his brain and Sniper's brain took brain forms again.

Grix stared at his brain.

"What on earth is going on?"

"Sniper's brain has got pre-occupied with something else. It's already forgotten about the land it made."

The nothingness they now stood in began to take form.
It was an airport. There planes scattered around and they seemed to be in a circle of people screaming and cheering.
Grix and his brain saw a big green monster and a man in a red suit fighting. It didn't take a gaming genius to recognise them.

They saw that Meka, Sniper, Goatboy, PB, Venombyte, and Fantasy Meister were standing together.
Grix and his brain went over to where they were standing.

"It seems that Sniper's brain has packed in the games."

Sniper looked more confused than ever but the other 5 nodded. They'd already come to this conclusion.
They were back on the street fighter cartrige.

"It seems our bodys were our own creation rather than Sniper's"

They all gleamed at the bulging muscles they'd given themselves...

It also explained why they'd been in colour. Sniper had wondered from the start of the story what a woman with a red dress was doing in a black and white world...

Interestingly, other than them, Your Honour and Sheepy were also in the ring, looking pretty confused.
More interestingly, a the masked man was in the circle too, motionlessly standing still.
Someone was missing but they couldn't put their finger on who...

Still, Sheepy and YH shouldn't be there. It was time for some questioning.

The walked over, straight past Blanka and Ken, whose 16 bit AI didn't enable them to see objects, rather just fight the other AI opponent.

Surrounding them (Sniper enjoying being part of the gang despite being clueless as to what happened.)

Sheepy glanced at each other and lunged towards Grix and Sniper. If they could knock out these two then their overlord would control the cartrige...

The were stopped and knocked out by the masked figure who had suddenly come to life.

"The masked figure. An AI simulant created by Strafex to body guard Sniper and myself." Said Grix. (although the authors hadn't bothered to put tedious hours of dialogue in, Grix's brain had spent many hours earlier trying to get him to understand the situation...)

"It seems to be making sense. Now perhaps if these two can tell us what they're doing here."

He went to grab Sheepy when everything went silent.
The fight had stopped. The crowd had stopped cheering.

"Computers crashed!" sighed Venombyte.
"What do you expect with Bill Gates in the cartrige..."

"No." said Grix's brain. "Look at Sniper brain. It seems to have woken up."

They looked at Sniper's brain. Indeed, it was active again and looking very excited.

"What an awsome film! Inspirational! And to think my original idea was in boring black and white!"

Before they knew it, they were on floating platform with a silver spaceship. They looked around to see a world form before their eyes, full of flying space ships and futuristic looking buildings.

"Coruscant in the Phantom Menace. Starwars. I knew that the Mega Drive cartrige was down memory lane, but I didn't expect to go this far..." muttered FM.
"Still, I sure don't mind having this again!"

He pulled out a lightsabre.

The rest followed suit, toying with their new weapons.
Sheepy and YH siezed the chance to run to the nearest hoverbikes and jet away...

The rest glanced but couldn't be bothered to chase.

Sniper's brain beamed.

"I knew you'd all like the new theme! :-)" (yes, that was a smile!), "remind me to thank Ant!".

Talking of which, Ant and Strafex were watching these new devellopments on the monitor.

"Awwww... They get to be Jedi!"

"Well Ant, maybe we can too... Write a note for Delta."

Back on the platform, the masked figure glowed white. They all stared at it, intrigued. What next?

A menu appeared over it and a mouse pointer went to copy. It clicked.
The mouse pointer then went to some thin air and brought down the menu.

It clicked paste.

Sure enough, another masked man appeared.
All of a sudden, the two masked men started acting naturally, as though they were minds, not programmed simulants.
They took off the masks.

"See Ant! I told you we could get involved!"

Strafex threw his mask to Grix.

"What do you make of this twist then?"