Viewing Thread:
"The Joke Topic."

Here's a joke for you:

What do you call a septic cat?




Pus.

i've gotta go now bye.

yes.
and i have evidence to prove it!

u can talk!

*spammer*

oooooooookkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy
*smiles and walks back*

goood

o.k,that i can accept from a man.

Chris and Paul were having a beer at the neighborhood bar.

"What's the matter?" asked Chris of his buddy. "You look
kind of down."

"My wife just told me that my lovemaking is just like a news
bulletin."

"Why's that?"

"Because it's brief, unexpected and usually a disaster."

------

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for
his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job,
but he was getting on in years. The farmer figured getting a
new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cockrel
from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the
barnyard.

Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around,
and he gets a little worried. "So, they're trying to replace
me," thinks the old rooster. "I've got to do something about
this."

He walks up to the new bird and says, "So you're the new
stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff, don't
you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet
I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you
to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around
it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the
hens for himself."

The young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely
thought he was more than a match for the old guy. "You're
on," said the young rooster.

"And since I know I'm so great, I'll even give you a head
start of half a lap. I'll still win easy," said the young
rooster.

The two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race
with all the hens gathering around to watch. The race begins
and all the hens start cheering the roosters on. After the
first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead.
After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a
little but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately the
old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and
by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young
rooster.

By now the farmer has heard all the commotion. He runs into
the house, gets his shotgun, and runs out to the barnyard
figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he
gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen
house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He
immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the
young rooster away.

As he walks away slowly, he says to himself, "Damn, that's
the third gay rooster I've bought this month."

-------

Maria, an Italian woman was extrememly religious. When she
was married, she refused to use protection because she felt
that birth control was going against God's will. She and her
husband had seventeen kids.

Maria's husband got sick and passed away. As time went by,
Maria moved on with her life and married another man. Again,
she refused to use protection because of her religious
beliefs. She and her second husband have fifteen kids.

Again, Maria lost her husband. But, soon after her husband's
death, she passed away as well. At the ceremony at the
cemetery the priest looked down at the coffin then looked up
at the sky and said, "They're finally together."

This confuses one of the family members at the service and
after the ceremony, asks the priest.

"Father," he starts, "back at the cemetery when you said,
'they're finally together,' did you mean Maria and her first
husband, or Maria and her second husband?"

The father takes a long look and him and says, "I was
talking about her legs."



:-))))))

it wasn't worth the energy

Photo-Genetic wrote:
> i pressed the thing twice accidently,and u could've beaten me 2 it if u had
> heard it already.



Maybe he would have, if it had actually been funny....