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Here's a joke for you:
What do you call a septic cat?
Pus.
What do you call a septic cat?
Pus.
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I know loads of sad jokes about that topic that my friends told me. I won't put them in though.
To get a bit topical (and I don't want to offend anyone with this, so appologies)...
A pilot was flying over afghanistan with a full load of bombs ready to blow some stuff up. He's cruisin' along (stereo up, window down, that kind of thing) when on one side of his plane he sees a flying carpet next to him with an afghan chap on it. He looks the other side and there's another one. He's just trying to get over the shock when he notices they're each holding AK47s. This unnerves him somewhat, and he banks and shoots them both down. He flies on through afghanistan, drops his bombs, blows something up and flies back to his aircraft carrier. When he gets there he lands all right and heads to his debreif. When he gets there his commanding officer says:
"I heard what happened out there! Why did you shoot down those two aircraft?....."
(brace yourself)
"....They were allied carpets!"
cue groans, shouts, cursing and the throwing of rotten vegetable matter.
A pilot was flying over afghanistan with a full load of bombs ready to blow some stuff up. He's cruisin' along (stereo up, window down, that kind of thing) when on one side of his plane he sees a flying carpet next to him with an afghan chap on it. He looks the other side and there's another one. He's just trying to get over the shock when he notices they're each holding AK47s. This unnerves him somewhat, and he banks and shoots them both down. He flies on through afghanistan, drops his bombs, blows something up and flies back to his aircraft carrier. When he gets there he lands all right and heads to his debreif. When he gets there his commanding officer says:
"I heard what happened out there! Why did you shoot down those two aircraft?....."
(brace yourself)
"....They were allied carpets!"
cue groans, shouts, cursing and the throwing of rotten vegetable matter.
1. My dog has no nose.
2. How does he smell?
1. Awful.
2. How does he smell?
1. Awful.
..
Your honour, your joke wasn't funny.
Weird wonder wrote:
> Say sheep before each of these words.
Sheep
about
talking
> idiot
stupid
this
kept
I
long
how
look
Say
> sheep after these words.
Sheep
about
talking
idiot
> stupid
this
kept
I
long
how
look
Now say sheep
> twice before these words
Sheep
about
talking
idiot
> stupid
this
kept
I
long
how
look
Now just
> read these words from the bottom up.
Sheep
about
talking
> idiot
stupid
this
kept
I
long
how
look
I don't get it.
> Say sheep before each of these words.
Sheep
about
talking
> idiot
stupid
this
kept
I
long
how
look
Say
> sheep after these words.
Sheep
about
talking
idiot
> stupid
this
kept
I
long
how
look
Now say sheep
> twice before these words
Sheep
about
talking
idiot
> stupid
this
kept
I
long
how
look
Now just
> read these words from the bottom up.
Sheep
about
talking
> idiot
stupid
this
kept
I
long
how
look
I don't get it.
a red man is in his red house,in his red bath,reading his red newspaper.a green man rings his red door bell and the red man puts on his red towel and walks down the red stairs.this man has never ever seen another colour before and as soon as he sees the green man,he drops his red towel.the green man is so shocked he runs across the road but is run over by a truck.and the morale of the story?
never cross the road when the red man flashes.
never cross the road when the red man flashes.
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