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"Online Dating"

This thread arises from a conversation I was having with a group of friends at uni a few days back; the conversation was the average conversation about dating, what you find attractive in someone etc until someone brought up internet dating

Anyway, the point is that two of my friends (one male and one female), both in their early twenties admitted they'd used dating sites in the past

The sites used were the completely free sites such as Plentyoffish and OkCupid. One of them (the guy, perhaps unsurprisingly) had an account on both, while the girl used POF

Now, my male mate being on there is about what you'd expect. He's a decent, friendly, sociable guy but he does lack confidence, especially with new people and approaching women. He's also not someone you'd say was particularly attractive or the sort of person who pays particular attention to his appearance and good grooming

So when he brought it up it was more us giving him banter for it and asking whether it conformed to the image many of us had - ie women who, frankly, you'd expect to not have enough confidence to be on the site, scammers etc. As it turns out, he's apparently been on several dates with some fairly attractive women. Definitely a good effort for him at least. The "traditional" perception of women who have to resort to the online realm to get a date is, once again not unsurprisingly, true, however (after being shown the pictures of the several women he went out on dates on) there were attractive, seemingly normal women on the sites. Women that were on their due to not having time with careers etc to "get out there" and find a date

My female friend is not someone you'd expect to be using the dating sites. She is very attractive, in a traditional way. Also perfectly capable of holding intelligent conversation, "guy" conversations etc and very confident. The sort of girl that's had a decent crop of boyfriends - both long term and short term. Anyway, from what she said, there were plenty of oddballs on the site messaging thinks like "hi, wanna bang" and "wow, ur look amazing". To the tune of getting about 50 messages a day through these sites. But there were a few seemingly normal guys, and she even went out on a date as one of the guys from the site, who she described as charming and in general a totally normal, down to earth person, not even particularly lacking in confidence

There were apparently several people who were also unable to move the conversation about each others interests to anything that allowed them to actually go on a date

So my question to everyone on here is this; would you consider using online dating sites - such as the free sites like POF and OkCupid? Or maybe you have used them already?

It seems the perception of online dating as a last resort is changing to the extent that it's now become the domain of normal people with busy schedules, or those who want to look for people for a long term relationship. It seems that for women (based on my incredible research of speaking to my one friend, I know) the site does allow women to state the sort of man they're looking for with the end goal being to meet in real life for an actual date

I'm not sure whether it's something I'd consider myself, simply because I'm still at the stage where going out and finding girls in clubs/bars/societies is easy enough, and I'm not sure I'm necessarily looking for a relationship, much less a long term one

Online dating is fine, but doesn't it make the kissing harder if you have a screen in the way? {sorry}

Don't think online dating was around when I was single. Not sure whether I'd have used it, perhaps I would have. However, Uni was more helpful at the time!

I went though been unhappy with been single. I hated everything about it. Then i was tired of feeling that way and i didnt want to feel like that. So i was determined to find the best friends i could have have the best times. I managed it. Have the best friends i could wish for and i go out and have the best times. Im not gonna say im happy all of the time because im not, who is? However alot of the times i am. There is always something keeping me busy though so im very rarely thinking of feeling lonely. You know im very rarely lonely. If im not with the living, something else has my attention :P

I fill my thinking time up because thinking depresses me. Once im thinking im on one and i let things get to me so badly. I could be like it for days and weeks.

But if you are happy with the situation then I guess that is the best way to be? I know I am unhappy with my situation and that is why I am trying to do something about it.

Actually, if you are happy with the situation - that is brilliant. I'm aiming just for contentment with the hope that when I am content I'll just be happier in general :)

HM wrote:
> It's like that until my friends realise they have a friend
> outside of their girlfriends :p

Kinda the same with me really. Though i have my kids its when there all doing there own thing i find myself sat there feeling lonely. My friends are in relationships. I get there time when they want away time from the other half. Other thing i cant stand is that people think i cant do anything because i have kids. Whats all that about? I've probably got more of a life now then i ever did in a relationship. They think im not totally happy because im single and they feel sorry for me because im single. Im probably happier then most of them people!

Butch wrote:
> I'm happy doing what I want, when I want :)

I do enjoy that but I find it rather lonely!

Wake up by myself, travel to work by myself, work (mainly by myself as trying to get a word in edgeways with three callous female colleagues and a grumpy boss can be tricky), go home by myself, eat by myself and then waste the evening until the morning by myself. Rinse and repeat.

It's like that until my friends realise they have a friend outside of their girlfriends :p

Butch wrote:
I'm happy doing what I want, when I want :)

Yeah me too. :)

Pretty much the same (most of the time -_-)

And with Butch it's more .... Tea, Lost and PS3. :P

So..... Spurs, beer + Ps3!! I like the sound of it, might dump the girlfriend, ill tell her it was your fault. Haha, only messing, im quite lucky, my girlfriend allows me to do all them things without any fuss.

I just have to watch the odd Peter Andre programme, or Jordan one!

Internet dating has never really appealed to me, if I meet somebody I would want to do it off my own back and face-to-face, plus you are likely to meet some proper nutters (Not HM/Vee nutter, proper ones) on some of these places. Plus you hear stories about some of these sites...

Anyway, women are too much hassle right now. I'm happy doing what I want, when I want :)

HM wrote:
> I'm a member of POF (kill me now).

Maybe i should try one of these dating sites. Cant do any worse then i do aleady surely?

> there are a few nutters

I could become one of those :-)