Viewing Thread:
"Online Dating"

This thread arises from a conversation I was having with a group of friends at uni a few days back; the conversation was the average conversation about dating, what you find attractive in someone etc until someone brought up internet dating

Anyway, the point is that two of my friends (one male and one female), both in their early twenties admitted they'd used dating sites in the past

The sites used were the completely free sites such as Plentyoffish and OkCupid. One of them (the guy, perhaps unsurprisingly) had an account on both, while the girl used POF

Now, my male mate being on there is about what you'd expect. He's a decent, friendly, sociable guy but he does lack confidence, especially with new people and approaching women. He's also not someone you'd say was particularly attractive or the sort of person who pays particular attention to his appearance and good grooming

So when he brought it up it was more us giving him banter for it and asking whether it conformed to the image many of us had - ie women who, frankly, you'd expect to not have enough confidence to be on the site, scammers etc. As it turns out, he's apparently been on several dates with some fairly attractive women. Definitely a good effort for him at least. The "traditional" perception of women who have to resort to the online realm to get a date is, once again not unsurprisingly, true, however (after being shown the pictures of the several women he went out on dates on) there were attractive, seemingly normal women on the sites. Women that were on their due to not having time with careers etc to "get out there" and find a date

My female friend is not someone you'd expect to be using the dating sites. She is very attractive, in a traditional way. Also perfectly capable of holding intelligent conversation, "guy" conversations etc and very confident. The sort of girl that's had a decent crop of boyfriends - both long term and short term. Anyway, from what she said, there were plenty of oddballs on the site messaging thinks like "hi, wanna bang" and "wow, ur look amazing". To the tune of getting about 50 messages a day through these sites. But there were a few seemingly normal guys, and she even went out on a date as one of the guys from the site, who she described as charming and in general a totally normal, down to earth person, not even particularly lacking in confidence

There were apparently several people who were also unable to move the conversation about each others interests to anything that allowed them to actually go on a date

So my question to everyone on here is this; would you consider using online dating sites - such as the free sites like POF and OkCupid? Or maybe you have used them already?

It seems the perception of online dating as a last resort is changing to the extent that it's now become the domain of normal people with busy schedules, or those who want to look for people for a long term relationship. It seems that for women (based on my incredible research of speaking to my one friend, I know) the site does allow women to state the sort of man they're looking for with the end goal being to meet in real life for an actual date

I'm not sure whether it's something I'd consider myself, simply because I'm still at the stage where going out and finding girls in clubs/bars/societies is easy enough, and I'm not sure I'm necessarily looking for a relationship, much less a long term one

EDIT: Whoops, wrong thread.

Online dating in fun though, I man once tried to get me to um have fun with his wife whilst he watched. Interesting stuff.

Nin wrote:
> She doesn't care about your life, she only wants one thing and
> you're standing in her way.

That's just it though, they are my kids. She saw them with no trouble everyy weekend. So why start getting all nasty about it. just because at the time i was in a relationship. I wouldnt have moved she knew that.

She didnt like me being in the relationship. However she did not fail to say if i wanted to move to be with this guy then she would be really happy for me.

Only for a few days later to accuse me of been drunk and on drugs, and actually told my kids that too. WHo all the time tell me that i shouldnt have done it... Thay dont let it drop. So im left to deal with this... She says she worries about me and the kids... But why out of all the years she has known me. I have never gave her any reason to be this way.

Vee wrote:
> I just don't get her sometimes. When is she going to realise my
> life is none of her buisness?

She doesn't care about your life, she only wants one thing and you're standing in her way.

I just don't get her sometimes. When is she going to realise my life is none of her buisness?

Vee wrote:
> No point in losing my temper. I know your right in everything
> you were saying. My kids will be staying with me next weekend,
> since once again there nan has played me for a fool. So when she
> plays by my rules, she can see my kids. Not until. (You said it
> would happen, it did. I got it wrong as per usual)

It's not wrong to try and be nice about things and do what you feel is right for your kids, how you tried to manage the situation was admirable and if you were dealing with someone reasonable then it would have worked, but trying a passive defence while you're being attacked is only going to get you hurt. I'm glad you're not taking it laying down.

Nin wrote:
> The only time I ever say anything is to argue. I'm fairly sure I
> was annoying the crap out of you on Friday night, If I had been
> you I would have probably lost my temper :)

No point in losing my temper. I know your right in everything you were saying. My kids will be staying with me next weekend, since once again there nan has played me for a fool. So when she plays by my rules, she can see my kids. Not until. (You said it would happen, it did. I got it wrong as per usual)

> Anyway, no sooner had I said I wasn't interested in sharing my
> life with someone, someone came along to make me reconsider.

Awwww. :)

The only time I ever say anything is to argue. I'm fairly sure I was annoying the crap out of you on Friday night, If I had been you I would have probably lost my temper :)

Anyway, no sooner had I said I wasn't interested in sharing my life with someone, someone came along to make me reconsider.

Nin wrote:
> I think that might be the problem ;)

Noooooooooo

I think that might be the problem ;)

@ Nin
Thing with you Nin is You dont make out to be something your not. When i met you you were you, you didnt put on an act.