The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Thanks er-no
THE COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED.
er-no will decide the winner on the basis of amusement only.
THE DEATH OF SNIPER.
The competition. Well its simple.
You guys have until the 26 August to write ways in which Sniper dies.
This can be in many different styles eg. One liner, quick story or a few paragraphs.
The entry that is the most funny and well written wins a gameaday. You can enter as many times as you want Sniper to die.
Staff members cannot enter (I think).
And remember MY decision is final.
Hint: Keep it funny and not too long.
CLOSING: 26 August
THE COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED.
er-no will decide the winner on the basis of amusement only.
THE DEATH OF SNIPER.
The competition. Well its simple.
You guys have until the 26 August to write ways in which Sniper dies.
This can be in many different styles eg. One liner, quick story or a few paragraphs.
The entry that is the most funny and well written wins a gameaday. You can enter as many times as you want Sniper to die.
Staff members cannot enter (I think).
And remember MY decision is final.
Hint: Keep it funny and not too long.
CLOSING: 26 August
Page:
Sniper lives to the age of 100.
The night before his 100th birthday, Sniper moves his bed next to the letterbox of his small flea-ridden bedsit, bitter through years of boredom, bed-wetting and piles.
He lies awake thinking about the letterbox, and what he is about to receive - a letter from the Queen. The Queen being Sniper's idol, someone he looks up to, and bases his morals and dress sense after. He can hardly contain his excitement (or his bladder) and he stays up half the night waiting fot the postman to pass the golden letter through the door.
However, Sniper soon falls asleep and in the morning he is abruptly awoken by the postman - he hears the footsteps coming up the drive, and he starts crying uncontrollably as he sees the royal letter pass through onto the p***-stained mat.
He picks up the letter, but he can't open it! Years of arthritis and rotting joints mean he has the strength of a two-year old girl, and so he takes the long walk over to the kitchen to find a knife to do the job.
After half an hour he finally reaches the kitchen, and finds a nice blunt knife (he wouldn't want to stab himself would he?) and slowly cuts away at the envelope until he can finally take the card out of its golden wrapper.
The card has a beautiful picture of the now 166-year old queen, and she manages to force a smile that warms Sniper's faintly-beating heart. The moment of truth arrives for Sniper - an actual written message addressed to him from the Queen; he han't believe his luck.
Trying to open the card, he manages to lose his grip on it, and flings it into his good eye. The eye pops out of its socket and rolls along the floor. "Aaah my eye! I'm blinded!" he exclaims. "I can't see what she's written!". With despair he fumbles around on the floor in vain, but alas, he cannot find his eye.
Sniper slumps down to the floor, bleeding profusely from his wound until he is very dead indeed. Two months later, still gripping the card in his left hand, and with a two-month old plum in his right, the police find the withered body of a poor lonely old man, whose final dream had never been fulfilled.
The night before his 100th birthday, Sniper moves his bed next to the letterbox of his small flea-ridden bedsit, bitter through years of boredom, bed-wetting and piles.
He lies awake thinking about the letterbox, and what he is about to receive - a letter from the Queen. The Queen being Sniper's idol, someone he looks up to, and bases his morals and dress sense after. He can hardly contain his excitement (or his bladder) and he stays up half the night waiting fot the postman to pass the golden letter through the door.
However, Sniper soon falls asleep and in the morning he is abruptly awoken by the postman - he hears the footsteps coming up the drive, and he starts crying uncontrollably as he sees the royal letter pass through onto the p***-stained mat.
He picks up the letter, but he can't open it! Years of arthritis and rotting joints mean he has the strength of a two-year old girl, and so he takes the long walk over to the kitchen to find a knife to do the job.
After half an hour he finally reaches the kitchen, and finds a nice blunt knife (he wouldn't want to stab himself would he?) and slowly cuts away at the envelope until he can finally take the card out of its golden wrapper.
The card has a beautiful picture of the now 166-year old queen, and she manages to force a smile that warms Sniper's faintly-beating heart. The moment of truth arrives for Sniper - an actual written message addressed to him from the Queen; he han't believe his luck.
Trying to open the card, he manages to lose his grip on it, and flings it into his good eye. The eye pops out of its socket and rolls along the floor. "Aaah my eye! I'm blinded!" he exclaims. "I can't see what she's written!". With despair he fumbles around on the floor in vain, but alas, he cannot find his eye.
Sniper slumps down to the floor, bleeding profusely from his wound until he is very dead indeed. Two months later, still gripping the card in his left hand, and with a two-month old plum in his right, the police find the withered body of a poor lonely old man, whose final dream had never been fulfilled.
er-no wrote:
> Don't er-noy the judge! Its not good to do that, I have none of these pictures, I don't believe in that kind of use of pictures Dav1d!
---
Sorry Mr. Er-no, the greatest, the bestest poster in the world.....
Oh... stuff this... Just gimmie the game! :-)
> Don't er-noy the judge! Its not good to do that, I have none of these pictures, I don't believe in that kind of use of pictures Dav1d!
---
Sorry Mr. Er-no, the greatest, the bestest poster in the world.....
Oh... stuff this... Just gimmie the game! :-)
Myst1que wrote:
> Dav1d wrote:
> I get the feeling there's only 1 winner in
> er-no's
> eyes....
*Myst1que wraps er-no wround her little
> finger*
*laughs*
er-no whispers to Mystique that she is going to have to do a lot more than that to bribe this judge.
> Dav1d wrote:
> I get the feeling there's only 1 winner in
> er-no's
> eyes....
*Myst1que wraps er-no wround her little
> finger*
*laughs*
er-no whispers to Mystique that she is going to have to do a lot more than that to bribe this judge.
Dav1d wrote:
> How can you lie like that?...
Wales must have rubbed off on
> you!...
and by the way..... can you send me the picture of when
> myst1que shaved her head!... please! :)
Don't er-noy the judge! Its not good to do that, I have none of these pictures, I don't believe in that kind of use of pictures Dav1d!
And I am not lying, CJC's paintballing was great, and yes Mystique yours was good.
> How can you lie like that?...
Wales must have rubbed off on
> you!...
and by the way..... can you send me the picture of when
> myst1que shaved her head!... please! :)
Don't er-noy the judge! Its not good to do that, I have none of these pictures, I don't believe in that kind of use of pictures Dav1d!
And I am not lying, CJC's paintballing was great, and yes Mystique yours was good.
How can you lie like that?...
Wales must have rubbed off on you!...
and by the way..... can you send me the picture of when myst1que shaved her head!... please! :)
Wales must have rubbed off on you!...
and by the way..... can you send me the picture of when myst1que shaved her head!... please! :)
i thought...
*bends over(shut it)ignites a fart causing sniper to burst into flames.*then myst1que says "hot enough for ya?"
was funny ah well
*bends over(shut it)ignites a fart causing sniper to burst into flames.*then myst1que says "hot enough for ya?"
was funny ah well
Oi Dav1d, I didn't send that picture, I haven't even seen it
:(
And I have been more impressed with CJC than anyone else so far in this comp!
:(
And I have been more impressed with CJC than anyone else so far in this comp!
Myst1que wrote:
> and beard? have you seen that picture
i am gonna kill whoever sent
> that round
---
*Points finger at er-no*
I'll never tell you who sent me the photo!
*Points finger at er-no again*
Im not telling!
*Points and waves finger at er-no frantically*
> and beard? have you seen that picture
i am gonna kill whoever sent
> that round
---
*Points finger at er-no*
I'll never tell you who sent me the photo!
*Points finger at er-no again*
Im not telling!
*Points and waves finger at er-no frantically*
Myst1que wrote:
> excuse me david think of your own ways to kill sniper
please dont p!ss on my fire
---
Dav1d kills sniper... then goes on to p!ss on Myst1ques fire!
Sorry... just had to do that! :-)
> excuse me david think of your own ways to kill sniper
please dont p!ss on my fire
---
Dav1d kills sniper... then goes on to p!ss on Myst1ques fire!
Sorry... just had to do that! :-)
and beard? have you seen that picture
i am gonna kill whoever sent that round
i am gonna kill whoever sent that round
Page: