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Thanks er-no
THE COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED.
er-no will decide the winner on the basis of amusement only.
THE DEATH OF SNIPER.
The competition. Well its simple.
You guys have until the 26 August to write ways in which Sniper dies.
This can be in many different styles eg. One liner, quick story or a few paragraphs.
The entry that is the most funny and well written wins a gameaday. You can enter as many times as you want Sniper to die.
Staff members cannot enter (I think).
And remember MY decision is final.
Hint: Keep it funny and not too long.
CLOSING: 26 August
THE COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED.
er-no will decide the winner on the basis of amusement only.
THE DEATH OF SNIPER.
The competition. Well its simple.
You guys have until the 26 August to write ways in which Sniper dies.
This can be in many different styles eg. One liner, quick story or a few paragraphs.
The entry that is the most funny and well written wins a gameaday. You can enter as many times as you want Sniper to die.
Staff members cannot enter (I think).
And remember MY decision is final.
Hint: Keep it funny and not too long.
CLOSING: 26 August
Page:
Did I make mine too long?
Sniper is a sniper in World War 3. He is about to snipe someone but (ironically) gets hit by a sniper. So Sniper dies sniping someone, by being hit by a sniper who sniped him.
Gotit?
Gotit?
How's that for a few stories then?
Sniper Death’s.
WARNING.
All deaths in the following texts are completely fictional and created by that of Shaneo or Computer Game and Film Companies. Please do not try and recreate any of the deaths shown in the following texts.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Death 1.
Sniper is walking by and he sees Grix and Grix’s Brain in the street.
Sniper: Hi Grix.
Grix: Looking sharp today.
Sniper: What is that supposed to mean.
Grix: It means that when you were born, your mum took one look at your face and one look at your backside and said “Oh god, Siamese twins!”.
The insult is so strong that it blows Sniper into a wall. Paramedics arrive on the scene but it is too late, Sniper has suffered from a brain aneurysm.
Death 2.
Sniper is walking by and he sees Grix and Grix’s Brain in the street.
Sniper: Hi Grix.
Grix: Looking sharp today.
Sniper: What is that supposed to mean.
Grix: It means that when you were born, your mum took one look at your face and one look at your backside and said “Oh god, Siamese twins!”.
The insult is so strong that it makes Sniper’s head explode. Paramedics arrive on the scene and discover that Sniper’s heart also exploded.
Death 3.
Sniper is on a routine Sniper mission to save the world.
Sniper: Ok, who’s bets that I kill that guy with one bullet of my Sniper Rifle.
Team Member #1: You could never do that.
Team Member #2: It’s impossible, that guy’s huge.
Sniper: I bet £30 to both of you that I kill him with my first shot.
Sniper loads a strange looking bullet into his Sniper Rifle and lines up his sights with the sentry.
Team Member #1: What are those bullets?
Sniper shoots and the sentry falls down and is holding his wound.
Sniper: They’re mercury-filled bullets.
Team Member #’1: Yeah, but it didn’t kill him, pay up.
Sniper: Wait…
The sentry fades away as blood pours from the wound.
Sniper: The mercury poisoned him.
Team Member #2: Ok, here’s £30.
Team Member #1: And £30 from me.
Sniper: Damn it!
Team Member #1: What?
Sniper: They’re trying to get up here onto the roof and kill us.
Just then, a bullet flies through the air and knocks Sniper’s Sniper Rifle out of his hands.
Sniper: Damn!
Team Member #1: I’m outta here.
Team Member #1 runs off and is peppered full of bullet holes.
Sniper: No!!!!!!!
Another gunman puts a gun to Sniper’s head and goes to shoot when…
Team Member #2: Dodge this!
Team Member #2 blasts the gunman, saving Sniper.
Sniper: Thanks!
Team Member #2: No pr…
Loads of bullet holes penetrate his flesh and blood pours from Team Member #2’s body.
Sniper: I’ve got to jump off of the roof, even if it means death.
A gunman looks at Sniper and fires a bullet. In slow motion, Sniper attempts to dodge the bullet but it pierces his skin. Sniper lies in agony on the floor as blood slowly pours from the small wound.
Sniper: No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sniper flies back up to his feet, jumps up and the camera pans around him. In mid air, he kicks the gunman and runs to the edge of the roof. Another gunman arrives at the scene.
Gunman: Give it up Sniper.
Sniper: You’ll never get me!!!!!!
Sniper jumps off of the edge of the roof and flies through the air as the Gunman watches in amazement. Sniper hits the floor with an almighty splat. Medics arrive on the scene and so do some news reporters.
Reporter: Today, we have seen a tragedy. A man known only as “Sniper” committed suicide today by jumping off of the roof of an infantry building. Witnesses say that he was trying to infiltrate the complex and jumped as to avoid being killed. At the moment, coroners and medics are literally trying to scrape Sniper off of the ground as the fall liquefied him. I understand that some type of vacuum to suck up all the liquid. Thank you for listening. More information as we hear it.
Death 4.
One day, a young woman called Jessica walked up to Gamers Hill and up to the big, deserted mansion. Everyone was afraid to go up there but this mansion had haunted everyone too long, she had to go and see if all the stories were true about monsters and ghosts. So, she walked up there and walked up stairs. She could hear a sound of scissors cutting and in the corner; there was a glass statue of Solid Snake. She went further to investigate but the door suddenly closes on her. She opens it and sees a man with scissors for hands cutting away at some glass. Within seconds, he has made a statue of Mario.
Jessica: Wow! Those are really good.
Suddenly, the man turns on her and approaches her with the scissors, ready to kill her.
Jessica cries out in desperation and the man stops.
Jessica: Hello there.
Man: Hello, what’s your name?
Jessica: My name’s Jessica, and you?
Man: Sn…Sn…Sniper, Sniper Sciss…Sniper Scissorhands.
Jessica: Ok, well come down to my car and I’ll take you home.
They go down to the car and drive him home. When Sniper steps out of the car, all the neighbours spot him and try to crowd around him. However, Jessica keeps them out of the way. Jessica puts make up on him and dresses him properly. However, one day, Jessica’s boyfriend, Mark, wants Sniper to break into a house so that they can steal some money. Sniper, not knowing any better, does so. Sniper picks at the lock. As it opens, he walks in and an alarm goes off.
Mark: Come on; let’s get outta here!
Jessica: We can’t just leave him out here.
Mark: We have to go.
Mark drags Jessica away and they leave in their van. The police arrive and arrest Sniper. Sniper is proven innocent however and let free. Jessica tries to get him a bank account but he is refused one. One day, Mark approaches Sniper and begins punching him.
Mark: Stay away from Jessica!
Mark takes Sniper to the floor with a Sho-Ryu-Ken and stomps away at Sniper. Sniper, in desperation, stabs Mark and blood pours from the wound. Sniper runs away from the scene and up to his mansion. However, on his way there, the police are called and they catch up with Sniper. Sniper walks into his mansion and Mark, who has been bandaged by a doctor, goes into the mansion. On the way up the stairs, Mark finds a Scissor Hand and carries it up with him to use as a weapon. Mark and Sniper intensely fight. Mark stabs Sniper in the chest but the body armour protects him. Mark rips off the body armour and stabs him in the chest one more time. However, Mark cannot pull the Scissor out of Sniper’s hand and Mark is holding the Scissor Hand. Both Mark and Sniper fall 25 feet out of the mansion window, to their deaths. Jessica arrives at the scene too late. Medics arrive and report that both Mark and Sniper are dead, Mark from the 25 ft fall and Sniper from the stabbing.
Death 5.
Meet Sniper, he has been sent into a warhead facility to infiltrate it. He has been told of a robot that is being built there called Metal Gear Ant so he has to be weary. He sneaks up on a few guards and kills them with a pistol. He then throws a stun grenade and runs into the elevator, which he can only just about see through the fog. He goes up to the top level and sees a person called Solid Rattle Snake there, as a man called Liquid Rattle Snake calls him. Liquid is controlling Metal Gear Ant. Sniper jumps from the elevator onto the head of MGA. He shoots is but MGA bends down and fling Sniper away, sending him 15 feet to the ground. Sniper throws a rope to the wall and climbs the rope.
Sniper: Try and catch me now!
When Sniper gets to the wall, MGA stamps his foot on Sniper, crushing him.
Sniper: Solid, finish me off. Shoot me so I can die now instead of a slow death.
Solid: Good-bye my friend.
Solid shoots a Famas, killing Sniper instantly.
Death 5 - Ending 2
Meet Sniper, he has been sent into a warhead facility to infiltrate it. He has been told of a robot that is being built there called Metal Gear Ant so he has to be weary. He sneaks up on a few guards and kills them with a pistol. He then throws a stun grenade and runs into the elevator, which he can only just about see through the fog. He goes up to the top level and sees a person called Solid Rattle Snake there, as a man called Liquid Rattle Snake calls him. Liquid is controlling Metal Gear Ant. Sniper jumps from the elevator onto the head of MGA. He shoots is but MGA bends down and fling Sniper away, sending him 15 feet to the ground. Sniper throws a rope to the wall and climbs the rope.
Sniper: Try and catch me now!
When Sniper gets to the wall, MGA stamps his foot on Sniper, crushing him.
Sniper: Solid, finish me off. Shoot me so I can die now instead of a slow death.
Solid: Good-bye my friend.
Solid shoots a Stinger Missile, killing Sniper instantly. Also, MGA explodes from the force and the entire building begins to shake. The building collapses, also killing Solid.
Death 5 - Ending 3
Meet Sniper, he has been sent into a warhead facility to infiltrate it. He has been told of a robot that is being built there called Metal Gear Ant so he has to be weary. He sneaks up on a few guards and kills them with a pistol. He then throws a stun grenade and runs into the elevator, which he can only just about see through the fog. He goes up to the top level and sees a person called Solid Rattle Snake there, as a man called Liquid Rattle Snake calls him. Liquid is controlling Metal Gear Ant. Sniper jumps from the elevator onto the head of MGA. He shoots is but MGA bends down and fling Sniper away, sending him 15 feet to the ground. Sniper throws a rope to the wall and climbs the rope.
Sniper: Try and catch me now!
Sniper climbs up the rope and gets to the wall. MGA stamps his foot on the wall, but he narrowly misses Sniper. The walkway that Sniper is on begins to collapse. It collapses and Sniper falls but MGA picks him up, just seconds before he hits the ground.
Liquid: You are just a pawn, Sniper. Prepare to die.
MGA is just about to crunch up his hand, that would crush Sniper, before Solid fires a Nikita Missile at the hand of MGA. The hand that Sniper was in, flies across the room and the hands acts like a cocoon as Solid fires another Nikita to the head of MGA. MGA then explodes, killing Liquid. Solid shoots the hand and it springs open, Sniper emerges.
Sniper: Thanks.
Solid: No problem, but lets just get outta here.
Solid and Sniper take different exits and Solid is crushed by a piece of falling debris.
Sniper: Damn. I salute you!
Sniper then sees that the only way out is to attach himself to the bottom of one of those trucks whilst the gunmen drive, that will get him an easy ride out of he facility. Sniper crawls under the truck and holds onto the bottom of the truck. The truck arrives at a snowy area and Sniper overhears one of the men calling it a minefield. The truck breaks with so much velocity, that Sniper is flung from the bottom of the truck and into the minefields, where he is blown to pieces. The force of the explosion also destroys the truck and kills the trick drivers.
All deaths in the aforementioned texts are completely fictional and created by that of Shaneo or Computer Game and Film Companies. Please do not try and recreate any of the deaths shown in the aforementioned texts.
WARNING.
All deaths in the following texts are completely fictional and created by that of Shaneo or Computer Game and Film Companies. Please do not try and recreate any of the deaths shown in the following texts.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Death 1.
Sniper is walking by and he sees Grix and Grix’s Brain in the street.
Sniper: Hi Grix.
Grix: Looking sharp today.
Sniper: What is that supposed to mean.
Grix: It means that when you were born, your mum took one look at your face and one look at your backside and said “Oh god, Siamese twins!”.
The insult is so strong that it blows Sniper into a wall. Paramedics arrive on the scene but it is too late, Sniper has suffered from a brain aneurysm.
Death 2.
Sniper is walking by and he sees Grix and Grix’s Brain in the street.
Sniper: Hi Grix.
Grix: Looking sharp today.
Sniper: What is that supposed to mean.
Grix: It means that when you were born, your mum took one look at your face and one look at your backside and said “Oh god, Siamese twins!”.
The insult is so strong that it makes Sniper’s head explode. Paramedics arrive on the scene and discover that Sniper’s heart also exploded.
Death 3.
Sniper is on a routine Sniper mission to save the world.
Sniper: Ok, who’s bets that I kill that guy with one bullet of my Sniper Rifle.
Team Member #1: You could never do that.
Team Member #2: It’s impossible, that guy’s huge.
Sniper: I bet £30 to both of you that I kill him with my first shot.
Sniper loads a strange looking bullet into his Sniper Rifle and lines up his sights with the sentry.
Team Member #1: What are those bullets?
Sniper shoots and the sentry falls down and is holding his wound.
Sniper: They’re mercury-filled bullets.
Team Member #’1: Yeah, but it didn’t kill him, pay up.
Sniper: Wait…
The sentry fades away as blood pours from the wound.
Sniper: The mercury poisoned him.
Team Member #2: Ok, here’s £30.
Team Member #1: And £30 from me.
Sniper: Damn it!
Team Member #1: What?
Sniper: They’re trying to get up here onto the roof and kill us.
Just then, a bullet flies through the air and knocks Sniper’s Sniper Rifle out of his hands.
Sniper: Damn!
Team Member #1: I’m outta here.
Team Member #1 runs off and is peppered full of bullet holes.
Sniper: No!!!!!!!
Another gunman puts a gun to Sniper’s head and goes to shoot when…
Team Member #2: Dodge this!
Team Member #2 blasts the gunman, saving Sniper.
Sniper: Thanks!
Team Member #2: No pr…
Loads of bullet holes penetrate his flesh and blood pours from Team Member #2’s body.
Sniper: I’ve got to jump off of the roof, even if it means death.
A gunman looks at Sniper and fires a bullet. In slow motion, Sniper attempts to dodge the bullet but it pierces his skin. Sniper lies in agony on the floor as blood slowly pours from the small wound.
Sniper: No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sniper flies back up to his feet, jumps up and the camera pans around him. In mid air, he kicks the gunman and runs to the edge of the roof. Another gunman arrives at the scene.
Gunman: Give it up Sniper.
Sniper: You’ll never get me!!!!!!
Sniper jumps off of the edge of the roof and flies through the air as the Gunman watches in amazement. Sniper hits the floor with an almighty splat. Medics arrive on the scene and so do some news reporters.
Reporter: Today, we have seen a tragedy. A man known only as “Sniper” committed suicide today by jumping off of the roof of an infantry building. Witnesses say that he was trying to infiltrate the complex and jumped as to avoid being killed. At the moment, coroners and medics are literally trying to scrape Sniper off of the ground as the fall liquefied him. I understand that some type of vacuum to suck up all the liquid. Thank you for listening. More information as we hear it.
Death 4.
One day, a young woman called Jessica walked up to Gamers Hill and up to the big, deserted mansion. Everyone was afraid to go up there but this mansion had haunted everyone too long, she had to go and see if all the stories were true about monsters and ghosts. So, she walked up there and walked up stairs. She could hear a sound of scissors cutting and in the corner; there was a glass statue of Solid Snake. She went further to investigate but the door suddenly closes on her. She opens it and sees a man with scissors for hands cutting away at some glass. Within seconds, he has made a statue of Mario.
Jessica: Wow! Those are really good.
Suddenly, the man turns on her and approaches her with the scissors, ready to kill her.
Jessica cries out in desperation and the man stops.
Jessica: Hello there.
Man: Hello, what’s your name?
Jessica: My name’s Jessica, and you?
Man: Sn…Sn…Sniper, Sniper Sciss…Sniper Scissorhands.
Jessica: Ok, well come down to my car and I’ll take you home.
They go down to the car and drive him home. When Sniper steps out of the car, all the neighbours spot him and try to crowd around him. However, Jessica keeps them out of the way. Jessica puts make up on him and dresses him properly. However, one day, Jessica’s boyfriend, Mark, wants Sniper to break into a house so that they can steal some money. Sniper, not knowing any better, does so. Sniper picks at the lock. As it opens, he walks in and an alarm goes off.
Mark: Come on; let’s get outta here!
Jessica: We can’t just leave him out here.
Mark: We have to go.
Mark drags Jessica away and they leave in their van. The police arrive and arrest Sniper. Sniper is proven innocent however and let free. Jessica tries to get him a bank account but he is refused one. One day, Mark approaches Sniper and begins punching him.
Mark: Stay away from Jessica!
Mark takes Sniper to the floor with a Sho-Ryu-Ken and stomps away at Sniper. Sniper, in desperation, stabs Mark and blood pours from the wound. Sniper runs away from the scene and up to his mansion. However, on his way there, the police are called and they catch up with Sniper. Sniper walks into his mansion and Mark, who has been bandaged by a doctor, goes into the mansion. On the way up the stairs, Mark finds a Scissor Hand and carries it up with him to use as a weapon. Mark and Sniper intensely fight. Mark stabs Sniper in the chest but the body armour protects him. Mark rips off the body armour and stabs him in the chest one more time. However, Mark cannot pull the Scissor out of Sniper’s hand and Mark is holding the Scissor Hand. Both Mark and Sniper fall 25 feet out of the mansion window, to their deaths. Jessica arrives at the scene too late. Medics arrive and report that both Mark and Sniper are dead, Mark from the 25 ft fall and Sniper from the stabbing.
Death 5.
Meet Sniper, he has been sent into a warhead facility to infiltrate it. He has been told of a robot that is being built there called Metal Gear Ant so he has to be weary. He sneaks up on a few guards and kills them with a pistol. He then throws a stun grenade and runs into the elevator, which he can only just about see through the fog. He goes up to the top level and sees a person called Solid Rattle Snake there, as a man called Liquid Rattle Snake calls him. Liquid is controlling Metal Gear Ant. Sniper jumps from the elevator onto the head of MGA. He shoots is but MGA bends down and fling Sniper away, sending him 15 feet to the ground. Sniper throws a rope to the wall and climbs the rope.
Sniper: Try and catch me now!
When Sniper gets to the wall, MGA stamps his foot on Sniper, crushing him.
Sniper: Solid, finish me off. Shoot me so I can die now instead of a slow death.
Solid: Good-bye my friend.
Solid shoots a Famas, killing Sniper instantly.
Death 5 - Ending 2
Meet Sniper, he has been sent into a warhead facility to infiltrate it. He has been told of a robot that is being built there called Metal Gear Ant so he has to be weary. He sneaks up on a few guards and kills them with a pistol. He then throws a stun grenade and runs into the elevator, which he can only just about see through the fog. He goes up to the top level and sees a person called Solid Rattle Snake there, as a man called Liquid Rattle Snake calls him. Liquid is controlling Metal Gear Ant. Sniper jumps from the elevator onto the head of MGA. He shoots is but MGA bends down and fling Sniper away, sending him 15 feet to the ground. Sniper throws a rope to the wall and climbs the rope.
Sniper: Try and catch me now!
When Sniper gets to the wall, MGA stamps his foot on Sniper, crushing him.
Sniper: Solid, finish me off. Shoot me so I can die now instead of a slow death.
Solid: Good-bye my friend.
Solid shoots a Stinger Missile, killing Sniper instantly. Also, MGA explodes from the force and the entire building begins to shake. The building collapses, also killing Solid.
Death 5 - Ending 3
Meet Sniper, he has been sent into a warhead facility to infiltrate it. He has been told of a robot that is being built there called Metal Gear Ant so he has to be weary. He sneaks up on a few guards and kills them with a pistol. He then throws a stun grenade and runs into the elevator, which he can only just about see through the fog. He goes up to the top level and sees a person called Solid Rattle Snake there, as a man called Liquid Rattle Snake calls him. Liquid is controlling Metal Gear Ant. Sniper jumps from the elevator onto the head of MGA. He shoots is but MGA bends down and fling Sniper away, sending him 15 feet to the ground. Sniper throws a rope to the wall and climbs the rope.
Sniper: Try and catch me now!
Sniper climbs up the rope and gets to the wall. MGA stamps his foot on the wall, but he narrowly misses Sniper. The walkway that Sniper is on begins to collapse. It collapses and Sniper falls but MGA picks him up, just seconds before he hits the ground.
Liquid: You are just a pawn, Sniper. Prepare to die.
MGA is just about to crunch up his hand, that would crush Sniper, before Solid fires a Nikita Missile at the hand of MGA. The hand that Sniper was in, flies across the room and the hands acts like a cocoon as Solid fires another Nikita to the head of MGA. MGA then explodes, killing Liquid. Solid shoots the hand and it springs open, Sniper emerges.
Sniper: Thanks.
Solid: No problem, but lets just get outta here.
Solid and Sniper take different exits and Solid is crushed by a piece of falling debris.
Sniper: Damn. I salute you!
Sniper then sees that the only way out is to attach himself to the bottom of one of those trucks whilst the gunmen drive, that will get him an easy ride out of he facility. Sniper crawls under the truck and holds onto the bottom of the truck. The truck arrives at a snowy area and Sniper overhears one of the men calling it a minefield. The truck breaks with so much velocity, that Sniper is flung from the bottom of the truck and into the minefields, where he is blown to pieces. The force of the explosion also destroys the truck and kills the trick drivers.
All deaths in the aforementioned texts are completely fictional and created by that of Shaneo or Computer Game and Film Companies. Please do not try and recreate any of the deaths shown in the aforementioned texts.
Page: