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Thanks er-no
THE COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED.
er-no will decide the winner on the basis of amusement only.
THE DEATH OF SNIPER.
The competition. Well its simple.
You guys have until the 26 August to write ways in which Sniper dies.
This can be in many different styles eg. One liner, quick story or a few paragraphs.
The entry that is the most funny and well written wins a gameaday. You can enter as many times as you want Sniper to die.
Staff members cannot enter (I think).
And remember MY decision is final.
Hint: Keep it funny and not too long.
CLOSING: 26 August
THE COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED.
er-no will decide the winner on the basis of amusement only.
THE DEATH OF SNIPER.
The competition. Well its simple.
You guys have until the 26 August to write ways in which Sniper dies.
This can be in many different styles eg. One liner, quick story or a few paragraphs.
The entry that is the most funny and well written wins a gameaday. You can enter as many times as you want Sniper to die.
Staff members cannot enter (I think).
And remember MY decision is final.
Hint: Keep it funny and not too long.
CLOSING: 26 August
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Sniper thought it was time for a reunion, a reunion with his old speccy. After spending 5 hours cleaning the dust off he inserted his favourite game. He started his game and the memories came flooding back. Before he knew it he was dead. So frustrated with himself and the speccy he thrust his fist in the direction of the keyboard sending keys flying all over the place. One key, the space bar for that matter came shooting up and went straight into his eye, piercing his eye and sending it directly to his brain, making a great big hole.
Sniper was found later by his parents laying on the floor with a quarter of the space bar sticking out of his eye. The injuries were described as “horrendous”
Sniper was found later by his parents laying on the floor with a quarter of the space bar sticking out of his eye. The injuries were described as “horrendous”
Sniper saw a woman. His heart skipped a beat, causing a brain hemmorage, which caused a stroke, which meant he was paralysed on one side. So he went to the hospital, and a trainee nurse gave him an injection to thin his blood. Put being a trainee she forgot to flick the syringe, to get the air out, so Sniper had a heart attack and he died.
Sniper was just doing the normal getting up, getting washed thing before he went on the net when something strange happened.
He took his pills and walked into the bathroom totally nude, when he realized there was an old (and very ugly) lady standing by the sink.
He quickly reached out and grabbed a towel to put around my waist.
You can just see it in you mind now can’t you; sniper blushing with a yellow bob the builder towel around his waist in a bathroom with an old woman there standing by the sink.
“W-what are you doing here?” he stuttered, “who are you?”
“Oh sorry dear,” she said, “I was just looking for....” She pulled out 2 RC-P90s from her frock,
“YOU!”
The old granny pushed hard on the triggers and sniper’s body was ripped apart by the projectiles.
By the time snipers boyfriend reached the bathroom, sniper was stone dead.
Sniper’s boyfriend looked at the old woman, “mum?!”
The end
He took his pills and walked into the bathroom totally nude, when he realized there was an old (and very ugly) lady standing by the sink.
He quickly reached out and grabbed a towel to put around my waist.
You can just see it in you mind now can’t you; sniper blushing with a yellow bob the builder towel around his waist in a bathroom with an old woman there standing by the sink.
“W-what are you doing here?” he stuttered, “who are you?”
“Oh sorry dear,” she said, “I was just looking for....” She pulled out 2 RC-P90s from her frock,
“YOU!”
The old granny pushed hard on the triggers and sniper’s body was ripped apart by the projectiles.
By the time snipers boyfriend reached the bathroom, sniper was stone dead.
Sniper’s boyfriend looked at the old woman, “mum?!”
The end
Sniper comes out of a pub, late-ish and an extremely beautiful woman walks past.
Sniper gives a quick "Whooooooaaaaaaa Mama!" and dies of heart attack!
Sniper gives a quick "Whooooooaaaaaaa Mama!" and dies of heart attack!
Sniper is visiting er-no. Er-no tells him that he has built a time machine, so Sniper gets in and sets the date for 100 years into the future.
Er-no wonders why the time machine hasn't moved and looks inside. He sees a pile of bones and some mouldy clothes and realises that he built the thing the wrong way around.
Er-no wonders why the time machine hasn't moved and looks inside. He sees a pile of bones and some mouldy clothes and realises that he built the thing the wrong way around.
sniper was changing a light bulb when er-no turned on the light and soaked he with a supersoaker....
FIZZ!
FIZZ!
Your Honour wrote:
> I wonder how long it will take er-no to read all of these....?
I bet he regrets setting the deadline for so far away...
> I wonder how long it will take er-no to read all of these....?
I bet he regrets setting the deadline for so far away...
Sniper was walking out of McDonalds with a milkshake in his hand, tripped on a kerb and the straw went up his nose.
As he pulled it out the vaccuum in the cup sucked his brain clean out. He fell to the floor and died instantly.
As he pulled it out the vaccuum in the cup sucked his brain clean out. He fell to the floor and died instantly.
Sniper takes a looooonnng walk off a short pier...nuff said really!
slik !_!
slik !_!
Sniper was very cautious. Everyone was out to get him. Er-no had arranged this competition you see to suggest ways in killing Sniper himself. He had found it funny at first but now he found himself terrified as all the ways of dying people were suggesting were coming true very true. He had died 20 times to day but each time he had come to life within seconds after some tremendous suffering. Everytime he hoped this would be it to put him out of this torture but no he would come back to life again only to be submitted to more pain within a few minutes maybe hours later. All because of this post - something that was meant to be funny. A nice old lady only a few seconds ago had pushed him under a lorry. He had seen a tunnel to heaven as he got closer and closer he got more hopeful that this nice old lady had stopped the pain (had been nice to him) - that he was going to get to the safety of an after life in heaven. However within inches this time from the gates the tunnel had flipped and rotated several times and gravity had tugged down on him throwing him back into his bed with bruises and wounds. That hadn't been it. He was still alive.
"DARN IT!" He shouted at the top of his voice smacking his pillow. "WHY WHY WHY!"
He jumped up off his bed. Everything was a danger to him - the knives, the television set, the water above it, his electric blanket, the bookcase, a packet of milk chocolate buttons, the pile of papers on his desk.. everything. Then he saw his cat. It stared at him.
"Get away kitty.." Sniper said grabbing a baseball bat from his cupboard and swinging it so to stop the cat from getting any closer. He then lost grip of the bat and it span wildly through the air.
"No.. not again. Please not again."
The baseball bat hit a framed photo of himself as a happy child. It fell downwards shattering into millions of pieces. A piece of glass bounced off the floor and hurled through the air at Sniper. Sniper ducked as it indented itself in the wall behind himself. He sighed a sigh of relief. The cat started to wall up to Sniper and started to purr and moved his head to Sniper's rubbing it against his showing it's affection.
"Nice kitty."
Sniper wondered why he had been scared of this cat. It was such a sweet cat. He loved it. The cat started to lick itself. For some strange reason Sniper thought he'd help the cat and started licking it. He kept licking it then... he felt the unpleasant taste of something lodged in his throat. He couldn't breath.
NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN! He thought. He ran over to the sink and put his mouth under the tap to try and wash it from his throat but it was lodged nicely. He ran around the room like a headless chicken until his heart gave up and he fell to the floor with a thud. Once again Sniper saw the familiar surroundings of his childhood flashing infront of his eyes. Yet again he saw his conception which was now as familiar as what he had to eat at breakfast. Then came the tunnel.. and then the drop back to his bed. He was alive to suffer once again. Sniper couldn't take this much longer. He had to stop this.
Sniper loaded up his computer and went to ukchatforums.com. He spammed the entire forums page with posts saying "END THE ER-NO EXTRA GAMEADAY COMPETITION". In one he claimed that Er-no was upsetting him by suggesting he wanted him dead and claimed that if Khazar should be banned for threatening someone with a baseball bat, Er-no should also. He even spent an hour trying to hack Er-No's account to explain the competition was now closed. However he had no such luck. He might have had more luck if the download for a password hacker had completed before he spilt tea on his monitor and sent several hundred volts through his body. Once again he was on his bed.. alive again and still could smell the smell of burning flesh. He threw himself in the shower to drown the smell but had no luck.
"Why me" he asked himself. "Why not Er-no or Meka Dragon. Why did I have to be the one who everyone likes to see dying."
He climbed out of the shower and walked towards the tower hanging from the door. His wet feet slipped on the tiled floor and he slid straight into the radiator. The pain was tremendous but he began to dust himself off fully aware that he would surely be killed in some unique way. Then sure enough the fan on the ceiling cooling the room dislocated itself from the wall and span wildly towards Sniper chopping him to several and pieces and making a terrible mess on the floor.
His life flashed before his eyes once more and up the tunnel he went expecting to drop at any minute. He closed his eyes thinking of a better life, one where he wouldn't die.
"Okay you can come in" came the voice of someone. Sniper opened his eyes. He hadn't dropped he was by the gates. He hadn't dropped to Earth. He was on this cloud with those pearly gates in front of him that were once only visible from the distance. He looked down to a black tunnel that extended to what seemed forever.
"I didn't fall back" Sniper said smiling.
"Yes the competition shortly after this post described you dying in the bathroom at the hands of the revolving fan. Er-no was then banned from the forums and Special Reserve shut down his competion"
Sniper threw his fist in the air. "I'm free!"
"I'm going to miss seeing you coming and going though. However you are not the first to suffer in this way - I'm sure someone will be suffering the same soon.. It's always fun to watch."
The doors swung open and Sniper skipped in shouting "Yahoo!" as he ran in. He sat himself on this sofa relaxing while downing a pint of beer which appeared in his hand. A beer that would never run out and a body that would never get drunk. This was heaven he thought. Then a boy in an orange duffel coat sat down beside him on the sofa.
"I heard you kept dying only to come to life," said the boy.
"Sure did."
The boy punced him in the face. "That's for laughing everytime the same thing happened to me" he shouted. Kenny McCormick then walked off to the bar to get himself a drink.
"DARN IT!" He shouted at the top of his voice smacking his pillow. "WHY WHY WHY!"
He jumped up off his bed. Everything was a danger to him - the knives, the television set, the water above it, his electric blanket, the bookcase, a packet of milk chocolate buttons, the pile of papers on his desk.. everything. Then he saw his cat. It stared at him.
"Get away kitty.." Sniper said grabbing a baseball bat from his cupboard and swinging it so to stop the cat from getting any closer. He then lost grip of the bat and it span wildly through the air.
"No.. not again. Please not again."
The baseball bat hit a framed photo of himself as a happy child. It fell downwards shattering into millions of pieces. A piece of glass bounced off the floor and hurled through the air at Sniper. Sniper ducked as it indented itself in the wall behind himself. He sighed a sigh of relief. The cat started to wall up to Sniper and started to purr and moved his head to Sniper's rubbing it against his showing it's affection.
"Nice kitty."
Sniper wondered why he had been scared of this cat. It was such a sweet cat. He loved it. The cat started to lick itself. For some strange reason Sniper thought he'd help the cat and started licking it. He kept licking it then... he felt the unpleasant taste of something lodged in his throat. He couldn't breath.
NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN! He thought. He ran over to the sink and put his mouth under the tap to try and wash it from his throat but it was lodged nicely. He ran around the room like a headless chicken until his heart gave up and he fell to the floor with a thud. Once again Sniper saw the familiar surroundings of his childhood flashing infront of his eyes. Yet again he saw his conception which was now as familiar as what he had to eat at breakfast. Then came the tunnel.. and then the drop back to his bed. He was alive to suffer once again. Sniper couldn't take this much longer. He had to stop this.
Sniper loaded up his computer and went to ukchatforums.com. He spammed the entire forums page with posts saying "END THE ER-NO EXTRA GAMEADAY COMPETITION". In one he claimed that Er-no was upsetting him by suggesting he wanted him dead and claimed that if Khazar should be banned for threatening someone with a baseball bat, Er-no should also. He even spent an hour trying to hack Er-No's account to explain the competition was now closed. However he had no such luck. He might have had more luck if the download for a password hacker had completed before he spilt tea on his monitor and sent several hundred volts through his body. Once again he was on his bed.. alive again and still could smell the smell of burning flesh. He threw himself in the shower to drown the smell but had no luck.
"Why me" he asked himself. "Why not Er-no or Meka Dragon. Why did I have to be the one who everyone likes to see dying."
He climbed out of the shower and walked towards the tower hanging from the door. His wet feet slipped on the tiled floor and he slid straight into the radiator. The pain was tremendous but he began to dust himself off fully aware that he would surely be killed in some unique way. Then sure enough the fan on the ceiling cooling the room dislocated itself from the wall and span wildly towards Sniper chopping him to several and pieces and making a terrible mess on the floor.
His life flashed before his eyes once more and up the tunnel he went expecting to drop at any minute. He closed his eyes thinking of a better life, one where he wouldn't die.
"Okay you can come in" came the voice of someone. Sniper opened his eyes. He hadn't dropped he was by the gates. He hadn't dropped to Earth. He was on this cloud with those pearly gates in front of him that were once only visible from the distance. He looked down to a black tunnel that extended to what seemed forever.
"I didn't fall back" Sniper said smiling.
"Yes the competition shortly after this post described you dying in the bathroom at the hands of the revolving fan. Er-no was then banned from the forums and Special Reserve shut down his competion"
Sniper threw his fist in the air. "I'm free!"
"I'm going to miss seeing you coming and going though. However you are not the first to suffer in this way - I'm sure someone will be suffering the same soon.. It's always fun to watch."
The doors swung open and Sniper skipped in shouting "Yahoo!" as he ran in. He sat himself on this sofa relaxing while downing a pint of beer which appeared in his hand. A beer that would never run out and a body that would never get drunk. This was heaven he thought. Then a boy in an orange duffel coat sat down beside him on the sofa.
"I heard you kept dying only to come to life," said the boy.
"Sure did."
The boy punced him in the face. "That's for laughing everytime the same thing happened to me" he shouted. Kenny McCormick then walked off to the bar to get himself a drink.
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