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Thanks er-no
THE COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED.
er-no will decide the winner on the basis of amusement only.
THE DEATH OF SNIPER.
The competition. Well its simple.
You guys have until the 26 August to write ways in which Sniper dies.
This can be in many different styles eg. One liner, quick story or a few paragraphs.
The entry that is the most funny and well written wins a gameaday. You can enter as many times as you want Sniper to die.
Staff members cannot enter (I think).
And remember MY decision is final.
Hint: Keep it funny and not too long.
CLOSING: 26 August
THE COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED.
er-no will decide the winner on the basis of amusement only.
THE DEATH OF SNIPER.
The competition. Well its simple.
You guys have until the 26 August to write ways in which Sniper dies.
This can be in many different styles eg. One liner, quick story or a few paragraphs.
The entry that is the most funny and well written wins a gameaday. You can enter as many times as you want Sniper to die.
Staff members cannot enter (I think).
And remember MY decision is final.
Hint: Keep it funny and not too long.
CLOSING: 26 August
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Sniper was quite happily playing Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation, when all of a sudden Lara Croft turned around and shot him dead.
*
Sniper thinking he was a hardman went trespassing one day
He got caught and the residence thought he should pay
So they tied him up and hung him by his feet
He looked very appealing for the animals to eat
But that wasn't enough, oh no!
He had to die really slow
So they cut him, only paper cuts but everywhere
So no-one would trespass again, no-one would dare
He was there for hours bleeding, slowly dying
He'd had no energy left, he'd given up trying
So he was finished and all for trespassing on that day
So the leason is don't with the mob or you'll pay
He got caught and the residence thought he should pay
So they tied him up and hung him by his feet
He looked very appealing for the animals to eat
But that wasn't enough, oh no!
He had to die really slow
So they cut him, only paper cuts but everywhere
So no-one would trespass again, no-one would dare
He was there for hours bleeding, slowly dying
He'd had no energy left, he'd given up trying
So he was finished and all for trespassing on that day
So the leason is don't with the mob or you'll pay
Sniper...dies.
Sniper see's CJC'c Hannibal banner on ukchatforums, he gets so scared that he eats himself!
Sniper:
He is a crazy guy
Takes too many drugs
Thought he could fly
But got killed by some thugs
He went to the shops
To sell some bottle tops
Tried stelling some mops
But got killed by the cops
He is a crazy guy
Takes too many drugs
Thought he could fly
But got killed by some thugs
He went to the shops
To sell some bottle tops
Tried stelling some mops
But got killed by the cops
Sniper and er-no go to a house for a sexual confrence, then before they know it all the windows and doors have been blocked off with state of the art security. The lights blow out and some serial killer is stalking them throughtout the house.
The television turns on a man peeling his own skin off of his face appears, then er-no runs out of the run like a woman only to have his ankle snapped in half as a device breaks through the wall and cracks it like a twig.
Then begging for his life the psycho killer grabs his head takes him over to a deer's head which is located on the wall, er-no tries to struggle but it's no use he is too weak, the psycho killer then proceedes to punch er-no in the liver enjoying every moment as the life is drained from him.
Blood is now flowing out of his like a waterfall and er-no starts to cry as he can't take it any longer and realises as he is so weak and too much of a woman he is going to die. The psycho grabs his head and rams it onto the antlers of the deer's head on the wall. Parts of er-no's small brain appear on the deer's antlers on the other side of er-no's head. While all this is going on Sniper is oblivious to all of what has happened to er-no as he was so involved in watching this psycho peeling his skin off, it was a real turn on for er-no to watch this act of mutilation and he could no longer control himself.
He ripped off his clothes and started to rip his foreskin off with his bare hand, before long he was peeling his own facial skin off, then out of nowhere the psycho appeared. He saw this act of disgust and couldn't take it. Never before in his life had he seen such disgusting things. He would never peel his own skin off, just do the normal psycho rountine of kill the victim. The cheap make-up in the video was a dead give away but Sniper was too dumb to see this and took it to the next level.
The psycho couldn't bare this sight any longer and grabeed Sniper. He carried him to the toilet, and grabbed his head and with all his force slammed his mouth onto the base of the toilet. The taste of blood was in his mouth and this was foul he rushed over to the shower and tried to wash the taste away. But what he didn't know that it wasn't water that was flowing into his mouth it was sulphiric acid. It melted half his face away and he screamed in pain. He ran over to the door but the psycho grabbed him got his knife out and ripped his face off. Still going Sniper ran through the door too quick for the psycho to grab him and he ran over to the kitchen to get a knife. He was just about to grab one when a shotgun bullet ripped through the air twice the spead of sound and blew his head off, sepearing it from this body.
He was dead.
The television turns on a man peeling his own skin off of his face appears, then er-no runs out of the run like a woman only to have his ankle snapped in half as a device breaks through the wall and cracks it like a twig.
Then begging for his life the psycho killer grabs his head takes him over to a deer's head which is located on the wall, er-no tries to struggle but it's no use he is too weak, the psycho killer then proceedes to punch er-no in the liver enjoying every moment as the life is drained from him.
Blood is now flowing out of his like a waterfall and er-no starts to cry as he can't take it any longer and realises as he is so weak and too much of a woman he is going to die. The psycho grabs his head and rams it onto the antlers of the deer's head on the wall. Parts of er-no's small brain appear on the deer's antlers on the other side of er-no's head. While all this is going on Sniper is oblivious to all of what has happened to er-no as he was so involved in watching this psycho peeling his skin off, it was a real turn on for er-no to watch this act of mutilation and he could no longer control himself.
He ripped off his clothes and started to rip his foreskin off with his bare hand, before long he was peeling his own facial skin off, then out of nowhere the psycho appeared. He saw this act of disgust and couldn't take it. Never before in his life had he seen such disgusting things. He would never peel his own skin off, just do the normal psycho rountine of kill the victim. The cheap make-up in the video was a dead give away but Sniper was too dumb to see this and took it to the next level.
The psycho couldn't bare this sight any longer and grabeed Sniper. He carried him to the toilet, and grabbed his head and with all his force slammed his mouth onto the base of the toilet. The taste of blood was in his mouth and this was foul he rushed over to the shower and tried to wash the taste away. But what he didn't know that it wasn't water that was flowing into his mouth it was sulphiric acid. It melted half his face away and he screamed in pain. He ran over to the door but the psycho grabbed him got his knife out and ripped his face off. Still going Sniper ran through the door too quick for the psycho to grab him and he ran over to the kitchen to get a knife. He was just about to grab one when a shotgun bullet ripped through the air twice the spead of sound and blew his head off, sepearing it from this body.
He was dead.
Sniper and Er-no walk into a western saloon. They really fancy a pint but don't have any cash. After failing to negotiate a deal involving washing up, a man comes in with the severed head of an indian. The barman says "My wife and daughter were killed by indians, have a pint on me".
Light bulbs appear in the minds of Sniper and er-no, and they head out into the mountains. They spot a lone indian, and sniper throws a rock at him. It hits the indian in the face, and he falls off his horse and tumbles down a canyon.
They both climb down into the canyon, and Sniper starts sawing the head off the indian
Er-no shouts "Look!" and they both look up and see the edge of the canyon is lined with a thousand indians.
Sniper says "Blinkin 'ell! We're gonna get hammered tonight!"
Light bulbs appear in the minds of Sniper and er-no, and they head out into the mountains. They spot a lone indian, and sniper throws a rock at him. It hits the indian in the face, and he falls off his horse and tumbles down a canyon.
They both climb down into the canyon, and Sniper starts sawing the head off the indian
Er-no shouts "Look!" and they both look up and see the edge of the canyon is lined with a thousand indians.
Sniper says "Blinkin 'ell! We're gonna get hammered tonight!"
Sniper dies from suffocation after getting his head stuck in a tin of Whiskers Special Cat Food-the one with rabbit chunks AND delicious gravy.
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