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THE COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED.
er-no will decide the winner on the basis of amusement only.
THE DEATH OF SNIPER.
The competition. Well its simple.
You guys have until the 26 August to write ways in which Sniper dies.
This can be in many different styles eg. One liner, quick story or a few paragraphs.
The entry that is the most funny and well written wins a gameaday. You can enter as many times as you want Sniper to die.
Staff members cannot enter (I think).
And remember MY decision is final.
Hint: Keep it funny and not too long.
CLOSING: 26 August
Went so hyper
EAting her Irish Stew
Along came a poisonous spider
And sat right beside her
So she ate that up too
And died
So er-no decides to get back at this as after all he deserved to win. So he sneaks around to Snipers house in the early hours of the morning and cuts Snipers brakes along with his petrol.
Later the same day, er-no's sexy beast of a chic, rings up Sniper declraing she wants sex and wants it now. So she tells Sniper he has 5 mintues to go on a 15 mile journey. Without hesitation Sniper grabs his car keys and rushes into his car. Without thinking of the consiquence, as er-no's chic was one fine woman, he burns off a the maximum speed of 120mph in his Skoda.
After getting onto the motor way nothing can stop him, but then there is a long que in front. He puts his foot down on the brakes but nothing happens, he isn't stopping. At a huge speed of 120mph Sniper crashed into the 40 tonne lorry in front resulting in his head being crushed into Oblivion.
After this the car behind slips on Snipers Skoda's oil leek looses control and crashes. The back seat rips though Sniper like a knife through his skull. All his insides are now on his outside. He looks down with his last eyeball, which is now hanging out of it's socket, and see's this happening.
He can't believe he has survived, then another car crashed into the back of the car that just went into the back of him. This went on for 51 cars, resluting in a 52 car pile up. Killing all 52 drivers. But Sniper died the most painful death. And er-no never lost again.
The End
Sniper reveals this secret to everyone then has a heart attack.
:D
Sniper goes over to er-nos house. He kicks the door down, rins up the stairs and finds er-no chuckling away whilst judging the comp. With a horrifying scream, Sniper lurches at er-no, grabbing him and hurtling towards the open window.
Both fall. Their fall is broken by telephone wires. Hanging in mid-air, Sniper says "Why, er-no! Why did you want me out of the picture? Is it because you are jealous of my GADs?"
"No." says er-no. "The fact is, is that I am your father!"
Sniper cries "Noooooooooooo!" and throws himself at erno. They lose their balance on the phone wires and sniper catches er-no by the hand. "You cannot be! I will not believe you!" he cries. "Tis true." says er-no. "Please help me".
But You sent over 700 FOG attempts to kill me! For that you muct be punished!" and sniper lets go of er-nos hand.
Conveniantly, er-no lands on an open top truck carrying a ball pool. Sniper, now livid, leaps off the wires at er-no, but he misses, and gets run over by the following steamroller.
"My son!" sobs er-no....
He carefully slipped his sniper rifle out from under his cloak and lifted the site up to his eye. Sniper couldn't help but giggle insanely as his target came into view. It was er-no. Totally unaware that his life was about to end, er-no sat down on a park bench, crossed his legs and hummed away whilst reading the morning newspaper.
Sniper begun to sweat, this was it, he was going to kill er-no once and for all. But something didn't feel right somehow, he felt something was going to happen to him, as something nearly always does at these times. Sniper gripped the sniper-rifle as if to remind himself he should be doing something in another way - he couldn't think what it could be...
"Enough!!" Sniper was getting annoyed with himself, he held the gun up and aimed carefully at at er-no. Sniper realised he hadn't got any bullets in his gun, so he swung the gun upwards to see the what he was doing . He turned the scope 180 degrees looked through and shot...
He had the barrel facing him - but the scope facing er-no - he fired and killed himself.
The End.
(I couldn't think of how to end it)
> Somebody's going down now.
what do you mean?
That week er-no was extremely lucky, he won 5 GAD’s and 2 FAD’s. er-no claimed everyone and Sniper was quite happy with the ones he had chosen.
********ONE WEEK LATER********
Sniper was at home playing of the games that er-no had won, when he heard a knock on the door. Sniper got up and opened the door, there was nobody there. Sniper found an envelope on his doorstep. Sniper opened the envelope and read the letter, it read
“I KNOW WHAT YOU DID!” Sniper looked around his garden and saw nobody. He ran inside and locked all the door’s and windows. Sniper felt safe now, he walked back to his office where his computer was.
Sat in Sniper’s big office chair was er-no! Er-no was tapping his gun that he had laid down on Sniper’s desk.
“So Sniper why did you do it” er-no said, before Sniper opened his mouth er-no picked up the gun and shot Sniper in the kneecap.
“Ahhhhh” Sniper was on the ground shouting in agony, Sniper now knew what it’s like to have an imploded kneecap. Er-no started kicking Sniper on the floor, one of Snipers lungs collapsed in. Sniper was gonna die for sure, er-no then started kicking Sniper in the head, kicking wasn’t doing much damage to Sniper, so er-no picked up a baseball bat and started hitting Sniper over the head with it. Sniper’s eyes came out of their sockets and his head had cracked open, er-no looked around Snipers office. Lying on Sniper’s desk were er-no’s games that he had won, er-no picked them up and give Sniper a final kick to the head.
Sniper laid there dieing whilst er-no quickly got home and played on his well earned games.