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"The Wings Hauser Appreciation Society"

As we all know Steve Guttenburg is the primary acting member of the Stonecutters, that ‘Simpsonian’ secret society that really controls what’s going on in the world.

One must assume that as the ‘Secret society of No Homers’ they will continue to bring Guttenbutg to our screens in some mindless drivel and may even have taken on new members.

The question is; ‘Who are those members?’

I’ll start;

Christopher Lambert.

Knight Moves, Greystoke, Every Highlander film other than the first, Fortress one and two, Mortal Combat.

Don’t forget to include a resume for your prospective member, his/her career maybe on the line…..

Surreally determined eh? I can't even imagine what that means.

I think we slay Steve Guttenberg, and make Wings honorary leader of the Stonecutters.

His early movies sound cool.

Honestly.

Wings Hauser: Selected Biography

Irish Eyes are crying
The theme of the film simultaneously addresses the similarities between the two factions of law and crime while revealing the similarities between the two brothers.

Savage Season
An ex-convict tries to make an honest living and take care of his girlfriend and her mentally slow brother.

Life Amongst the cannibals
No Plot description

Victim of Desire
Some women are desirable . . . others are deadly.

In Between
Three strangers two women and one man find themselves trapped inside an unfamiliar house with no recollection of how they got there.

The Carpenter
A carpenter, who was executed in the electric chair, comes back to finish his dream house, now inhabited by a young married couple.

Vice Squad
a psycho pimp and a surreally determined hooker

Real name Gerald Dwight Hauser. Born 12 Dec 1947 in Hollywood (!), son of author Dwight Hauser.

'Irish Eyes are Crying' is currently in post production. Though considering his main body of work, I suggest they rename it to 'Irish Eyes are Dying'.

Wings Hauser.."Tough Guys Don't Dance"

I say we worship this man and create a cult for Wings!

I'm off to check on the web for more Hauser stats.

Eddie has two problems. First, he just happened to be present when a prostitute named Maggie has died of an overdose. Second, Maggie's boyfriend Jimmy is blackmailing him over the death. Eddie hires his detective friend Nick Carpenter to solve his problems. The dynamics of the situation change, however, after Maggie is found alive...


The minor classic 'Living to Die' that one. Unfortunately discontinued.

http://www.videoflicks.ca/ contrib/1006/1006715.htm

Not only did he act, he directed as well! Check out the film titles. Absolutely fantastic! I particularly like 'Tough Guys Don't Dance'.

Wings Hauser!!!!

That guy ruled cheap 80s action flicks.
I completely forgot that dude!

Tom Skerrit (Pikey Tom Selleck)
Hell Camp
Space Camp
Poison Ivy 1 & 2

Chuck Norris
Missing in Action 1,2,3
Delta Force
Texas Ranger
(although the Bruce Lee movie almost makes him cool, but doing ads on QVC for some fitness crap negates that)

Just done a search for him, and got this:

THE WINGS HAUSER
WEB PAGE IS DEAD!

The Wings Hauser page is dead due to unresolved personality conflicts and the possible criminal activities of the party of the first part.


That's probably a typical Wings Hauser fan for you.

I used to live with this guy with a penchant for amazingly bad movies, and I just remembered one more really bad actor, probably for his name more than anything else. And the man is? Wings Hauser. Can't remember the film though. Some 80s sci fi crud.