Viewing Thread:
"The Wings Hauser Appreciation Society"

As we all know Steve Guttenburg is the primary acting member of the Stonecutters, that ‘Simpsonian’ secret society that really controls what’s going on in the world.

One must assume that as the ‘Secret society of No Homers’ they will continue to bring Guttenbutg to our screens in some mindless drivel and may even have taken on new members.

The question is; ‘Who are those members?’

I’ll start;

Christopher Lambert.

Knight Moves, Greystoke, Every Highlander film other than the first, Fortress one and two, Mortal Combat.

Don’t forget to include a resume for your prospective member, his/her career maybe on the line…..

Hehe. Does he call 'er indoors

His wang user?

LOL

Anagrams of Wings...that is brilliant.

I can't breathe now.

Form carefully studying the assumed name of the icon Wings Hauser, I have been able to determine the following things about his character;

He’s not a Microsoft fan, more into his Japanese consoles and arcade games;

Sh@g Win User
Sega Wish Urn

We can see how he got through three wives;

I Was Her Guns
Wag her Sinus
Her Anu5 Wigs
Using Her Saw

His marital downfall could have been due to his strange affiliations with some wild creatures of the African countryside;

Gnu Ar5e Wish

Hauser, I salute you.

He's on tv this week in a movied called "Jo Jo Dancer, your life is calling"

A movie directed by Richard Pryor about a comic that burns his face freebasing and takes stock of his life.

Irony.

"Hi, I'm Wings Hauser. You may remember me from such movies as Living with Cannibals, A Soldier's Story and Bedroom Eyes 2"

Fantastic.

Awesome!

Hauser is so becoming a cult, and we picked up on it.
Further perusal has shown that he executive-produced "Uncommon Valour" (Gene Hackman, Patrick Swayze etc rescue Gene's son from a Vietnam camp), starred in "A Soldier's Story" with R Lee Ermey (the shouty drill instructor from Full Metal Jacket) and someone called Denzel Washington.

He released an album in 1979 of country music and other stuff.
I've just ordered the "Original Gangsta" DVD and posting the letter to him tomorrow.

Wings Hauser is the man!

Worship him.

I'm being denied Hauser!

I've tried ordering 'The Art of Dying' through Chartbusters, but it falls over at the very last page..... I'll try again later. I hope I can get it ordered, as I'll be away with work next week. It could be a couple of weeks before I can check out the great man.

But it's not all bad news. Check this out....

I've been looking at various sites to see which films they have on offer, and I did a search for Wings Hauser on Barnes and Noble, and it came back with 'The Insider', amongst other things. So I checked out their review - no mention of Wings. But it just so happens that I have it on DVD. So I checked out the end credits, and lo and behold, the great Hauser is in the film! Apparently he plays a Tobacco Lawyer......

Now THAT is funny.

Ok devo, well I'm going to get the Original Gangsta DVD from the states. No way I can pass up a movie with Wings, Jim Kelly, Richard Roundtree, Pam Grier and Richard Jones.

That will be an awesome movie.

Wings Hauser, we salute you.

Excellent, we're creating a cult of Hauser.
And he sings.

Worship Wings you dirty hippies!

Me and Hooplah will write him this evening and post the letter here, directing him to this site and encouraging him to join.
That would rock man, Wings Hauser posting on this forum.

Life just dont get any better than that.
And for anyone that think's we're messing about:

No, Wings Hauser is a cult icon.
Just like Mr T>

Awesome.

I'd like him to cuddle me in his Wings and give me a bit of Hauser father - if you know what I mean.

devo wrote:
> He sings??

There's nothing he can't do. This man is a cult icon in the making.

devo wrote:
> Possibly one of the best taglines ever for 'The
> Carpenter'......


'He builds terror'

This made me cry.