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FM licked the first three fingers of his right hand and stroked his eyebrows, smoothing them down. He turned at, white robes with simple gold embroidery down the front swishing around him as he heard the guard approach.
FM was standing in a simple square room, with four braziers, one in each corner, all burning different colours. These weren’t normal flames however, as they did not give off coloured light, and the room remained smokeless, with a white light seeming to emanate from the walls and floor, with no shadows forming. In the middle of the room were two pedestals, about four feet apart. On top of them was a box. In it was FM’s father. FM turned as the guard stopped, bowing.
“Master.” Said Sniper, raising his head, looking into FM’s cold, hard eyes.
“You have your mission? You are ready to leave?”
“Yes Master.”
“Good.” FM turned back to look at the coffin, licking his fingers and rubbings his eyebrows again as he spoke. “This is just the first part my friend. I will have my revenge, I do not know when, but I will/”
“Yes Master.” There was an edge of concern in Snipers voice.
“What is wrong, my friend?”
“I do not know, Master. I think I am worrying with no reason.”
“Ah. You are concerned about the book, yes?” Sniper lowered his eyes. “Do not fear. I will find the book. MY magic grows with each passing month, soon I will have the power needed to find the book. Then, when it is mine, I will have unimaginable power!” FM felt a shiver run up his spine as he closed his eyes, imagining the power he would wield. He looked at Sniper. “You have your orders.”
“Yes Master Meister.”
“Go. Be swift, and do not fail me.” Sniper turned and left the room.
FM turned back to the coffin. As he walked around it, his fingers traced the inscription carved into the stone. He knew them all, word for word, but their feel comforted him. They were instructions on how to travel the underworld.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Wrath exploded through Meka’s mind. He screamed “No!” in a murderous rage as he leapt off the rock. With both hands he brought the sword up while still in mid-air. When he hit the ground he recoiled, swinging it around from behind in an arc. The sword whistled with its speed. The man had turned as Meka hit the ground. Seeing Meka coming, he brought his own sword up defensively, with lightning speed.
Meka watched as if in a dream as his sword come around. Every ounce of his strength went into trying to make the sword go truer, go faster. Be deadlier. The magic raged with his need. Meka looked from the mans sword, hard into the steel blue eyes. Mekas sword followed the track of his eyes, he heard himself still screaming. The man held his sword straight up, to deflect the blow.
Everything else around the man dissolved in Mekas vision. His anger, the magic, was unleashed like never before. No power on earth could deny him the mans blood.
He finished his arc, the sword coming round at eye height to the side of the mans head. It shattered through the mans sword, and exploded through his chainmail hood, bits of molten twisted metal flying off into the undergrowth. The sword continued its journey, making contact with the mans skull, and continuing through, out the other side of his head.
Bits of bone blood and brain flew up into the air as the early morning air was filled with a cloud of red mist. Steaks of blood covered Meka, dripped down his body, dribbled off his sword as he slowly lowered the point to the ground.
The mans body crumpled slowly to the ground, blood pumping out over the ground, mixing with the puddles already there. Meka could feel the cold mist help cool his body.
“Meka!” Meka awoke, a sheen of sweat over his whole body. “Meka, my brother, are you alright?” asked Grix.
“It was that dream.”
“Again?” Meka nodded in reply.
“Come on, get up, we have to meet the others soon.”
“Who?”
“You know, the others from the village. Dan2K1, Venombyte and Ant.”
“What about er-no, and YH?”
“They said they had something to do. They will meet us later.” Grix helped his brother to sit up.
“Ok, give me a few minutes." Grix nodded and left the room. Meka put his head in his hands as he thought about the dream.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Master Meister?” FM looked around.
“Yes?”
“I have some bad news Lord, about Sniper.”
“He hasn’t dies again has he?”
“Yes Lord, he fell off his horse.”
“How did that kill him?”
“Into the moat.”
“He can swim.”
“Yes Lord, but as he tried to climb out, he must have pulled the lever, the one you ordered put in?”
“I vaguely remember.”
“That let the piranhas in.”
“Ah. I should have expected something like this. He has a whole bloody palace to have his accidents in. I put all that sponge about so he wouldn’t hurt himself, and yet he falls into the piranha moat. Amazing. Nevermind, he will be back by now. Tell him to continue with his task. Tell him to be more careful next time.”
FM was standing in a simple square room, with four braziers, one in each corner, all burning different colours. These weren’t normal flames however, as they did not give off coloured light, and the room remained smokeless, with a white light seeming to emanate from the walls and floor, with no shadows forming. In the middle of the room were two pedestals, about four feet apart. On top of them was a box. In it was FM’s father. FM turned as the guard stopped, bowing.
“Master.” Said Sniper, raising his head, looking into FM’s cold, hard eyes.
“You have your mission? You are ready to leave?”
“Yes Master.”
“Good.” FM turned back to look at the coffin, licking his fingers and rubbings his eyebrows again as he spoke. “This is just the first part my friend. I will have my revenge, I do not know when, but I will/”
“Yes Master.” There was an edge of concern in Snipers voice.
“What is wrong, my friend?”
“I do not know, Master. I think I am worrying with no reason.”
“Ah. You are concerned about the book, yes?” Sniper lowered his eyes. “Do not fear. I will find the book. MY magic grows with each passing month, soon I will have the power needed to find the book. Then, when it is mine, I will have unimaginable power!” FM felt a shiver run up his spine as he closed his eyes, imagining the power he would wield. He looked at Sniper. “You have your orders.”
“Yes Master Meister.”
“Go. Be swift, and do not fail me.” Sniper turned and left the room.
FM turned back to the coffin. As he walked around it, his fingers traced the inscription carved into the stone. He knew them all, word for word, but their feel comforted him. They were instructions on how to travel the underworld.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Wrath exploded through Meka’s mind. He screamed “No!” in a murderous rage as he leapt off the rock. With both hands he brought the sword up while still in mid-air. When he hit the ground he recoiled, swinging it around from behind in an arc. The sword whistled with its speed. The man had turned as Meka hit the ground. Seeing Meka coming, he brought his own sword up defensively, with lightning speed.
Meka watched as if in a dream as his sword come around. Every ounce of his strength went into trying to make the sword go truer, go faster. Be deadlier. The magic raged with his need. Meka looked from the mans sword, hard into the steel blue eyes. Mekas sword followed the track of his eyes, he heard himself still screaming. The man held his sword straight up, to deflect the blow.
Everything else around the man dissolved in Mekas vision. His anger, the magic, was unleashed like never before. No power on earth could deny him the mans blood.
He finished his arc, the sword coming round at eye height to the side of the mans head. It shattered through the mans sword, and exploded through his chainmail hood, bits of molten twisted metal flying off into the undergrowth. The sword continued its journey, making contact with the mans skull, and continuing through, out the other side of his head.
Bits of bone blood and brain flew up into the air as the early morning air was filled with a cloud of red mist. Steaks of blood covered Meka, dripped down his body, dribbled off his sword as he slowly lowered the point to the ground.
The mans body crumpled slowly to the ground, blood pumping out over the ground, mixing with the puddles already there. Meka could feel the cold mist help cool his body.
“Meka!” Meka awoke, a sheen of sweat over his whole body. “Meka, my brother, are you alright?” asked Grix.
“It was that dream.”
“Again?” Meka nodded in reply.
“Come on, get up, we have to meet the others soon.”
“Who?”
“You know, the others from the village. Dan2K1, Venombyte and Ant.”
“What about er-no, and YH?”
“They said they had something to do. They will meet us later.” Grix helped his brother to sit up.
“Ok, give me a few minutes." Grix nodded and left the room. Meka put his head in his hands as he thought about the dream.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Master Meister?” FM looked around.
“Yes?”
“I have some bad news Lord, about Sniper.”
“He hasn’t dies again has he?”
“Yes Lord, he fell off his horse.”
“How did that kill him?”
“Into the moat.”
“He can swim.”
“Yes Lord, but as he tried to climb out, he must have pulled the lever, the one you ordered put in?”
“I vaguely remember.”
“That let the piranhas in.”
“Ah. I should have expected something like this. He has a whole bloody palace to have his accidents in. I put all that sponge about so he wouldn’t hurt himself, and yet he falls into the piranha moat. Amazing. Nevermind, he will be back by now. Tell him to continue with his task. Tell him to be more careful next time.”
Page:
Meka started to shake uncontrollably
"Please don't hurt me," he said. "If you do, my friend Ant will come and beat you up"
"don't think so" replied one of the men with guns
"Your friend Ant is locked up downstairs"
Meka returned to reality and started sobbing for his mum.
---------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, downstairs, Ant was hard at work.
He had taken off his bra and was using the wire to try and undo the lock.
"Where the hell did you get that?" asked pb
"I always wear it incase i get locked in cages" replied Ant
That was it, pb went and sat in the other corner of the cage, he didnt want to be seen with this bra wearing nutter.
Then he realised that it was quite hard 'not to be seen with someone' if you are locked in a cage with them. He gave up and concentrated on keeping the cage from falling into the green stuff.
<5 minutes later>
Suddenly, there was a click. Ant had done it, they were free. They were both amazed that none of the other guards still patrolling the floor had seen or heard them.
They crept out of the cage and headed for where Meka had been taken.
"That was my favourite one too" winged Ant
"What are you gabbing on about now?" pb hissed back
"That bra, it was my favourite, my girlfriend got it for me"
pb didn't want to know any more details. He'd learned enough for one day.
As they were approaching the exit, they heard a familiar sound. pb hit the floor and poked his head around the crate they were behind.
There was a guard 3 feet away and facing him. pb paniced, he must have seen them!
The guard did nothing. He was staring at something he was holding.....it was.....it was....(pb tried to make out the writing on the cartridge).. it was a gameboy with tetris in it!!
The guards were mesmorised...no wonder they hadn't noticed the escape. They must have taken the opportunity for a quick game while they guys with guns had gone.
It would have taken a lot to wake them from this trance they were in!
pb turned to Ant
pb - "we're ok, lets go get this over with"
ant - "what over with?"
pb - "rescuing Meka of course!!!"
ant - "we're going to rescue him? I thought we were just
getting outta here!!"
Grix -"we gotta rescue him, he's our mate!!"
ant - "but those nasty men had guns - and I haven't got my
lucky bra on!!"
ant bursts into tears....Grix gently trys to console him
Grix -"shut the f*** up. you'll get the guards out of their
trance!"
ant - "but i'm scarred without my bra"
pb - "scarred? dont you mean scared?"
ant - "oh yes, thanx"
pb - "lets go..."
The notables headed for the stairs, wondering what the bits of scrotum were doing there.....
"Please don't hurt me," he said. "If you do, my friend Ant will come and beat you up"
"don't think so" replied one of the men with guns
"Your friend Ant is locked up downstairs"
Meka returned to reality and started sobbing for his mum.
---------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, downstairs, Ant was hard at work.
He had taken off his bra and was using the wire to try and undo the lock.
"Where the hell did you get that?" asked pb
"I always wear it incase i get locked in cages" replied Ant
That was it, pb went and sat in the other corner of the cage, he didnt want to be seen with this bra wearing nutter.
Then he realised that it was quite hard 'not to be seen with someone' if you are locked in a cage with them. He gave up and concentrated on keeping the cage from falling into the green stuff.
<5 minutes later>
Suddenly, there was a click. Ant had done it, they were free. They were both amazed that none of the other guards still patrolling the floor had seen or heard them.
They crept out of the cage and headed for where Meka had been taken.
"That was my favourite one too" winged Ant
"What are you gabbing on about now?" pb hissed back
"That bra, it was my favourite, my girlfriend got it for me"
pb didn't want to know any more details. He'd learned enough for one day.
As they were approaching the exit, they heard a familiar sound. pb hit the floor and poked his head around the crate they were behind.
There was a guard 3 feet away and facing him. pb paniced, he must have seen them!
The guard did nothing. He was staring at something he was holding.....it was.....it was....(pb tried to make out the writing on the cartridge).. it was a gameboy with tetris in it!!
The guards were mesmorised...no wonder they hadn't noticed the escape. They must have taken the opportunity for a quick game while they guys with guns had gone.
It would have taken a lot to wake them from this trance they were in!
pb turned to Ant
pb - "we're ok, lets go get this over with"
ant - "what over with?"
pb - "rescuing Meka of course!!!"
ant - "we're going to rescue him? I thought we were just
getting outta here!!"
Grix -"we gotta rescue him, he's our mate!!"
ant - "but those nasty men had guns - and I haven't got my
lucky bra on!!"
ant bursts into tears....Grix gently trys to console him
Grix -"shut the f*** up. you'll get the guards out of their
trance!"
ant - "but i'm scarred without my bra"
pb - "scarred? dont you mean scared?"
ant - "oh yes, thanx"
pb - "lets go..."
The notables headed for the stairs, wondering what the bits of scrotum were doing there.....
Meka took the chance to look around the room. After all, bit stupid being somewhere that you didn't really describe very well.
Below them, there were about four large vats... filled with a green bubbling liquid. No idea what it was, looked like something from Batman.
The vats were placed all together, and the room managed to squeeze around them, with metal walkways surrounding the walls of the huge room, and crossing over from side to side in parallel everynow and again.
Guards patrolled along them... the cage from which they hung lay connected under one of the pathways... perhaps they could climb out that way. They were in the bottom right corner of the room, it seemed, with the exit on the far left wall. A long way away.
Meka looked harder. A small tram system was going around on the floor of the warehouse room thing.
The roof wasn't all too pretty. Just made from metal sheeting. Like roofs normally have.
Roofs?
"What's the correct spelling for roofs?"
"R-o-o-v-e-s." Grix said aloud. "Actually, no, no that's not right."
"I think it's just roof, with an s on the end." Ant said.
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
Two men walked along the pathway above them, one tall and lanky, the other short and bulky... they stopped over them, and talked for a second. Nobody heard what was going on.
The short bulky man reached down, and unlocked the cage, grabbed Meka, pulled him through the opening at the top, and locked the cage again.
The two men walked off, Meka being dragged along the ground.
"Why didn't we stop him?" Ant said.
"Because we're a bunch of computer geeks." Grix said, wondering if Ant was being serious or not.
"Oh yeah. Considering we travel through time, get our minds transfered onto megadrive cartridges and seem to always win whatever happens, it does seem like a normal life for a computer geek."
"And anyway," Pb said. "If we rock this cage too much, we'll fall into that chemical vat thing. Didn't you read the last post?"
"No, sorry." Ant replied.
-----------------
Meka was dragged out of the top exit of the warehouse that I probably didn't describe because I only just made it up, and was dragged up some stairs. Meka tried to mention about his scrotum, but the thugs didn't really seem to care, and kicked him there, just out of spite. Meka decided to keep his mouth shut.
The two men dragged him out through the exit at the top of the stairs... Meka looked around. He was seemingly at the top of a skyscraper, in New York.
A chair waited for him in the centre of the roof. They sat him down, tied him up, and the two black suited men took out guns.
Below them, there were about four large vats... filled with a green bubbling liquid. No idea what it was, looked like something from Batman.
The vats were placed all together, and the room managed to squeeze around them, with metal walkways surrounding the walls of the huge room, and crossing over from side to side in parallel everynow and again.
Guards patrolled along them... the cage from which they hung lay connected under one of the pathways... perhaps they could climb out that way. They were in the bottom right corner of the room, it seemed, with the exit on the far left wall. A long way away.
Meka looked harder. A small tram system was going around on the floor of the warehouse room thing.
The roof wasn't all too pretty. Just made from metal sheeting. Like roofs normally have.
Roofs?
"What's the correct spelling for roofs?"
"R-o-o-v-e-s." Grix said aloud. "Actually, no, no that's not right."
"I think it's just roof, with an s on the end." Ant said.
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
Two men walked along the pathway above them, one tall and lanky, the other short and bulky... they stopped over them, and talked for a second. Nobody heard what was going on.
The short bulky man reached down, and unlocked the cage, grabbed Meka, pulled him through the opening at the top, and locked the cage again.
The two men walked off, Meka being dragged along the ground.
"Why didn't we stop him?" Ant said.
"Because we're a bunch of computer geeks." Grix said, wondering if Ant was being serious or not.
"Oh yeah. Considering we travel through time, get our minds transfered onto megadrive cartridges and seem to always win whatever happens, it does seem like a normal life for a computer geek."
"And anyway," Pb said. "If we rock this cage too much, we'll fall into that chemical vat thing. Didn't you read the last post?"
"No, sorry." Ant replied.
-----------------
Meka was dragged out of the top exit of the warehouse that I probably didn't describe because I only just made it up, and was dragged up some stairs. Meka tried to mention about his scrotum, but the thugs didn't really seem to care, and kicked him there, just out of spite. Meka decided to keep his mouth shut.
The two men dragged him out through the exit at the top of the stairs... Meka looked around. He was seemingly at the top of a skyscraper, in New York.
A chair waited for him in the centre of the roof. They sat him down, tied him up, and the two black suited men took out guns.
Grix turned to look at FM. FM lowered his eyebrows into a frown, trying to tell him something.
Ant and Pb pulled Meka from underneath the tardis, who swore a bit more, tried to punch the person closest to him, and then began to sob.
Pb remembered about how the Mac Users had said that Grix was Stefan Ramiste... obviously allowing himself to be captured to throw off any suspicion.
Meka swore a bit more. So a guard shot him in the leg.
"GAHHHHHHHH!"
Snake and Mongoose Man helped Meka to his feet.
"You've got a lovely mullet." Meka said, before passing out.
-------------------
Meka woke. He was lying face up.
Perhaps being face up doesn't matter too much to you, but believe me, this made a hell of a difference.
Let's go to an alternate universe, and see what would have happened if Meka was lying face down.
-----------------
Meka woke. He was lying face down.
He opened his eyes... and tried to adjust to the faint light in the room... what on earth?
Meka jumped out of his skin... he could see the ground, he must be falling!
He stood and jumped, banging his head against the top of the cage.
The rest fell back... and the cage in which they were all in creaked.
And fell.
It smashed against the wall of the huge chemical vat that lay underneath them... and bounced inside it...
------------
Meka woke. He facing face up.
"Hi Meka? You awake?" Grix said, leaning over him.
"ARGHH!" Meka jumped out of his skin...
The cage rocked a bit...
And settled.
"Really, Meka, be careful." Grix said, standing against the side of the cage. "You could have got us all killed."
Ant and Pb pulled Meka from underneath the tardis, who swore a bit more, tried to punch the person closest to him, and then began to sob.
Pb remembered about how the Mac Users had said that Grix was Stefan Ramiste... obviously allowing himself to be captured to throw off any suspicion.
Meka swore a bit more. So a guard shot him in the leg.
"GAHHHHHHHH!"
Snake and Mongoose Man helped Meka to his feet.
"You've got a lovely mullet." Meka said, before passing out.
-------------------
Meka woke. He was lying face up.
Perhaps being face up doesn't matter too much to you, but believe me, this made a hell of a difference.
Let's go to an alternate universe, and see what would have happened if Meka was lying face down.
-----------------
Meka woke. He was lying face down.
He opened his eyes... and tried to adjust to the faint light in the room... what on earth?
Meka jumped out of his skin... he could see the ground, he must be falling!
He stood and jumped, banging his head against the top of the cage.
The rest fell back... and the cage in which they were all in creaked.
And fell.
It smashed against the wall of the huge chemical vat that lay underneath them... and bounced inside it...
------------
Meka woke. He facing face up.
"Hi Meka? You awake?" Grix said, leaning over him.
"ARGHH!" Meka jumped out of his skin...
The cage rocked a bit...
And settled.
"Really, Meka, be careful." Grix said, standing against the side of the cage. "You could have got us all killed."
"ight, masterpla alert." Said pb.
"That'll be a first" mumbled Sniper.
"Shut up. Here's what we do. We go back in time, by about half an hour, and we tell ourselves to land the tardis 3 feet to the left. THAT way, we don't squash Meka, yet we are still near enough for him to climb in after he get's shot in the leg."
"Wow, impressed." Said Sniper, who then collapsed, as he hadn't said "this is gay" for five minutes.
Unfortunately, the door opened at that moment, and loads of guards piled into the room.
"B****r."
"Put your hands up" etc etc yadda yadda.
They did so.
You are now captured and will be held at the pleasure of Stefan Y Ramiste."
Grix gasped.
"Gasp."
Told you so.
"That'll be a first" mumbled Sniper.
"Shut up. Here's what we do. We go back in time, by about half an hour, and we tell ourselves to land the tardis 3 feet to the left. THAT way, we don't squash Meka, yet we are still near enough for him to climb in after he get's shot in the leg."
"Wow, impressed." Said Sniper, who then collapsed, as he hadn't said "this is gay" for five minutes.
Unfortunately, the door opened at that moment, and loads of guards piled into the room.
"B****r."
"Put your hands up" etc etc yadda yadda.
They did so.
You are now captured and will be held at the pleasure of Stefan Y Ramiste."
Grix gasped.
"Gasp."
Told you so.
The Tardis shook slightly and landed.
ìShook. ì said er-no in contemplation, ìthatís a funny word isnít it?!î
The others looked at him, bewildered by his incomprehensible speech and unaware that it was just a device to delay the writerís lack of ideas for a storyline from showing.
They carefully looked out of the gap in the door as they set foot in a large room with a tiled floor.
ìWhy do we always peer out of the door when weíve got a perfectly good viewscreen and scanner to check whether itís ok outside?î asked Ant.
ìdunno.î Said Sniper as they made their way out of the Tardis.
ìRight.î Said Grix, trying to get them motivated. ìNow we go and find Meka and stop him from entering this building.î
ìI think itís a bit late for thatÖî said Er-no cautiously.
ìWhyís that?î
Er-no pointed to the face and hands sticking out from underneath the Tardis. It was Meka and they had squashed him.
ìHeís still breathingÖ.î Said Ant.
ìHow can you tell without touching him?î asked Sniper.
ìProbably all the swearingÖ.î Said Pb.
ìShook. ì said er-no in contemplation, ìthatís a funny word isnít it?!î
The others looked at him, bewildered by his incomprehensible speech and unaware that it was just a device to delay the writerís lack of ideas for a storyline from showing.
They carefully looked out of the gap in the door as they set foot in a large room with a tiled floor.
ìWhy do we always peer out of the door when weíve got a perfectly good viewscreen and scanner to check whether itís ok outside?î asked Ant.
ìdunno.î Said Sniper as they made their way out of the Tardis.
ìRight.î Said Grix, trying to get them motivated. ìNow we go and find Meka and stop him from entering this building.î
ìI think itís a bit late for thatÖî said Er-no cautiously.
ìWhyís that?î
Er-no pointed to the face and hands sticking out from underneath the Tardis. It was Meka and they had squashed him.
ìHeís still breathingÖ.î Said Ant.
ìHow can you tell without touching him?î asked Sniper.
ìProbably all the swearingÖ.î Said Pb.
"Ah!" Ant said, three days later.
"What?"
"I've got a plan."
--------------
"Dear Jimmy." Jimmy Savile read aloud.
"Me and my buddies seem to have lost our friends in a freak time travelling accident that involves saving the world from a reincarnated Bill Gates, and I write to you hoping that you could fix it for me that we could all be reunited."
"Yours faithfully, Ant."
*a small clip is shown, of Ant and the others walking into a pub, and meeting Venombyte and er-no, hugging and laughing*
"Eh ye eh ye eh ye..." Jimmy said. "Don't we have a fine bunch here, losing each other." Jimmy laughed, took another puff from his cigar, and breathed it into Ant's face.
Ant coughed.
"Well, I have some VERY special prizes for you here, some lovely Jim fixed it for me Medallions, that you can wear, so you look just like me."
The camera focused on Jimmy.
"Look at my lovely rings." He said, waving the back of his hands at the cameras.
--------------
"Ok, right. Good plan Ant." Pb said.
They all sat in the tardis, and waited for the next person to write.
"What?"
"I've got a plan."
--------------
"Dear Jimmy." Jimmy Savile read aloud.
"Me and my buddies seem to have lost our friends in a freak time travelling accident that involves saving the world from a reincarnated Bill Gates, and I write to you hoping that you could fix it for me that we could all be reunited."
"Yours faithfully, Ant."
*a small clip is shown, of Ant and the others walking into a pub, and meeting Venombyte and er-no, hugging and laughing*
"Eh ye eh ye eh ye..." Jimmy said. "Don't we have a fine bunch here, losing each other." Jimmy laughed, took another puff from his cigar, and breathed it into Ant's face.
Ant coughed.
"Well, I have some VERY special prizes for you here, some lovely Jim fixed it for me Medallions, that you can wear, so you look just like me."
The camera focused on Jimmy.
"Look at my lovely rings." He said, waving the back of his hands at the cameras.
--------------
"Ok, right. Good plan Ant." Pb said.
They all sat in the tardis, and waited for the next person to write.
"Hang on... if we travelled back in time to where you were in the Gates Memorial Tower, we could stop the people running into the room, and stop them from shooting Meka."
"But then, wouldn't the time lines get messed up and then have to reset themselves? I mean, it would make sense if Meka was with us now, but he's not. Therefore, if we go back in time to stop them, Meka gets in the Tardis, then there is no need to go back and stop them from shooting him, and we're back to square one."
"Unless we realise what's going on in the past, and make sure that we go back in time and stop them from shooting Meka in that period."
"But then, Meka would be with us now." Venombyte said. "So why don't WE pick up Meka, instead of letting him run into the other one?"
"Because I've got a funny feeling Meka's going to find something out that we need to know. If we don't let him do whatever is happening to him, we may never figure this sodding plot out." er-no answered.
"Argh." er-no added. "When could there be a point where we meet the guys again? Where do we KNOW where they could be?"
--------------------------
"Logically, if we have any chance of finding er-no, we've got to help him find us." Ant said. "So we need to get somewhere that they'll know we would be."
"Like a pub?"
"Precisely. We've just got to let them work it out..."
"But which pub?"
"Meh. I dunno."
"I still think we should use the portaloo." Sheepy said.
"Damn."
"But then, wouldn't the time lines get messed up and then have to reset themselves? I mean, it would make sense if Meka was with us now, but he's not. Therefore, if we go back in time to stop them, Meka gets in the Tardis, then there is no need to go back and stop them from shooting him, and we're back to square one."
"Unless we realise what's going on in the past, and make sure that we go back in time and stop them from shooting Meka in that period."
"But then, Meka would be with us now." Venombyte said. "So why don't WE pick up Meka, instead of letting him run into the other one?"
"Because I've got a funny feeling Meka's going to find something out that we need to know. If we don't let him do whatever is happening to him, we may never figure this sodding plot out." er-no answered.
"Argh." er-no added. "When could there be a point where we meet the guys again? Where do we KNOW where they could be?"
--------------------------
"Logically, if we have any chance of finding er-no, we've got to help him find us." Ant said. "So we need to get somewhere that they'll know we would be."
"Like a pub?"
"Precisely. We've just got to let them work it out..."
"But which pub?"
"Meh. I dunno."
"I still think we should use the portaloo." Sheepy said.
"Damn."
"I think I know whether they're here with us or not." er-no said.
"You do?"
"Yes. I think there...not here. Yes, I don't think there here."
"Where are they then?"
"I...don't...know."
_____________________________
"Okay, so how do we find er-no?" Ant asked Sheepy.
"I...don't...know."
"You do?"
"Yes. I think there...not here. Yes, I don't think there here."
"Where are they then?"
"I...don't...know."
_____________________________
"Okay, so how do we find er-no?" Ant asked Sheepy.
"I...don't...know."
"So we're going back in time to save Meka from getting shot, right?" Venom asked, sweating.
"Yes, I reckon so."
"Does that mean you have to stop me from going into the Gates Memorial place as well??"
"Errr...probably."
"Okay, so where are Sheepy, YH, Sniper, Mongoose Man and Snake?? Are they with us?" He asked, looking around.
Er-no also looked around, and finally said, "I...don't...know," in a tone of voice that reminded Venom of Homer Simpson.
"Yes, I reckon so."
"Does that mean you have to stop me from going into the Gates Memorial place as well??"
"Errr...probably."
"Okay, so where are Sheepy, YH, Sniper, Mongoose Man and Snake?? Are they with us?" He asked, looking around.
Er-no also looked around, and finally said, "I...don't...know," in a tone of voice that reminded Venom of Homer Simpson.
"Wouldn't it be easier to find er-no?"
"...Yeah. I suppose so." Sheepy said...
------------------
"What... Why are we trying to get Ant and Pb?"
"Someone is going to capture them... and FM is trying to kill them."
"Hey? What?"
"No time to explain..." er-no lied.
"What? We're in a sodding time machine, of course there is time!"
"..." er-no said, or didn't say. "Right, ok."
er-no told Venom that FantasyMeister was Stefan, how he was trying to kill them all. It seems that FM does eventually come back onto the side of good, so don't persue him too much.
"So, we're going to rescue Pb and Ant?"
"No, we're just going to stop FM from shooting them. It's essential that they get captured."
"What? Why?"
"Err... no time to explain!"
Venombyte stared at er-no.
"Damn, alright then... They find out that Mac Users are trying to find Grix, who THEY think is Stefan, so they can use him to kill Bill Gates, when he is revived."
"...Well you know, so can't we just rescue them?"
"No, because I only know because they told me in the future, and they only told me because they were captured. Don't worry, they escape fine."
"Right. We're going no further until you explain this plot."
er-no winced at the thought.
"Right... ok."
"It started off with you going to watch Turbonutter's new film, based on your adventures, which seemed to have become popular with the world after you destroyed Bill Gates. [See the sword story for more details] Bored with that, you went off and decided to go on a brand new adventure, after a few pints. Meka offered to go sailing in his new ship."
"Needless to say, you got shipwrecked. Ant died, and suddenly re-appeared again. You met some dwarfs, and pigmys, and found some floating islands, which FantasyMeister seemed to know an awful lot about."
"Something happened with the pigmys, and you all went off looking for the Holy Grail. The cup that brings immortal life... Everynow and again some germans came along and tried to kill you."
Venombyte started to sway.
"Then, you found a cave on the map which the pigmys gave you. You ended up in a nursery, which might be revealed later why, and you were told of the plot. Ish."
"Bill Gates is going to be revived, and his body is going to be exhumed from his shrine in Manhattan Isle. You were told by Wookiee Monster, who used to work for Stefan Ramiste, also known as FantasyMeister, that he will be revived with the help of the floating islands around the globe, which focus the Earth's energy into one spot, and so raising the dead. FM's job, paid by the associates of Bill Gates with free games for life, was to kill off all of you, so you wouldn't hinder the plan."
"You then went to Pembrokeshire to start to look for Gates. You marched on, learning of where Gate's body was. You got in a plane, crashed it, and got chased by a nude Bonus to a hotel. Pb and Ant then vanished, and were captured by the Mac Users. There was also something said about the lifeblood of the dreamer needed to resurrect Gates around this time. We'll see where that goes. I met the Fog Faction, which a bunch of self indulging gits that thought we lot were warriors. Nothing like us at all. I then travelled looking for some kind of hint to help me find you. I found the newspaper article, of a Microsoft Industrial Plant exploding, and there being one survivor. I knew it was Sniper."
"Then, you went back to Meka's house, and promptly then to the pub. You met the mimes for the first time, and FM managed to get rid of them. He revealed that he was in fact once a mime artist, but refuses to say why the mimes are after him."
Venombyte sat down.
"FM and Grix met away from the rest in the forest, both were trying to get away from the rest. FM because he was going to kill them, and Grix because they were going to kill him for hindering their adventures all the time. However, they were both knocked out, after FM promised some Germans that they could have Grix, and were taken to New York."
Venombyte started to feel dizzy.
"In this time, the rest of the guys started to look for er-no the hermit, for some odd reason. The bloke who was or indeed was not me told them to go to the woods, so they could find a teleporter to take them to New York. Odd coincidence, I think not."
"In New York, Grix and FM were tied to chairs, and put in a boat. Someone shot the boat, and let it sink into the ocean. They managed to escape by sitting on a crate in the boat, that contained many Street Fighter 2 cartridges before they emptied them all out. FM managed to pick up a few."
"While FM and Grix floated off into the ocean, the rest of you met Jaguar Dmitiry after uttering some magical words. He invited you to a pub after you helped him to fetch his keys. He, however, works for the people trying to revive Bill Gates, and the "pub" which you went into was actually a Microsoft Engineering Plant, which they tried to blow up while you were still inside. You escaped, after someone placed a news article into your pocket, which you related to the scene."
"The whole point of blowing up the Engineering Plant, however, apart from getting rid of you lot, was the only way they could get Sniper away from you. They tried to get in there and get him, but he was already gone. He found the rest, and was quite safe."
"You and Meka however didn't know that, and after advice from Jaguar, went to the nearby Gates Memorial Tower, where you thought Sniper was. You waltzed in, and went up, and defeated Steve Bulmer in a court battle. I then got the tardis into there, after learning of it in the future, and picked you up. Meka was shot in the leg, and couldn't make it."
"During this time, Pb and Ant were stuck in a huge hall. They learnt of the Mac Users plan to kill Bill Gates, by forcing Grix to work for them, who they mistakenly thought was Stefan Ramiste. They escaped by breaking their bonds. Sometime long before this, Pb and Ant made robots of themselves, probably in the hotel, so to make sure if anyone wrote about them somewhere else, it would at least make a bit of sense."
"Pb and Ant finally managed to get to New York, to find Gate's body, and found the rest of the guys, where they managed to swap places with the robots without even the authors noticing."
"Meanwhile, Grix and FM had fell asleep in the ocean, and in true Hollywood fashion, woke up on a beach. Oddly, the beach was a skyscraper beach, made by some millionnaire on the top of it. They ran off, and went to McDonalds."
"Where the rest of the people found them. Ant told them of how Meka was dead. I saw him die eariler on, when I travelled through time. Probably the same event."
"However, me and you are now travelling back through time to stop FM shooting Pb and Ant."
"And that's the story so far... I think." er-no collapsed on the floor, next to where Venombyte had already fell, trying to take it all in.
When they woke, the tardis had popped back into existance, and landed in the field outside the hotel that they stayed in, when Pb and Ant vanished.
er-no opened the doors... "GET IN!" He shouted to Ant and Pb, who lay in the grass.
They got up, and ran towards the tardis. As they got near it, he slammed the doors shut, and sent the Tardis spiraling back through time.
Pb and Ant, stopped, wondering what to do. They didn't really need to wonder long, as they were struck over the back of the head, and bundled into a car.
FM looked down the sight of the sniper rifle... damn, he didn't really get a chance. er-no in the tardis had put him off, and those people who captured them... hmmm... not really sure who they were. Ah well, never mind. Just wake up in the morning, shout that they've vanished, no one will know.
FM took apart the sniper rifle, placed it in it's case under the bed, and went to sleep.
--------------
"So..." Venombyte said... "Where are we going now?"
"To pick up the rest. We're going to save Meka."
"...Yeah. I suppose so." Sheepy said...
------------------
"What... Why are we trying to get Ant and Pb?"
"Someone is going to capture them... and FM is trying to kill them."
"Hey? What?"
"No time to explain..." er-no lied.
"What? We're in a sodding time machine, of course there is time!"
"..." er-no said, or didn't say. "Right, ok."
er-no told Venom that FantasyMeister was Stefan, how he was trying to kill them all. It seems that FM does eventually come back onto the side of good, so don't persue him too much.
"So, we're going to rescue Pb and Ant?"
"No, we're just going to stop FM from shooting them. It's essential that they get captured."
"What? Why?"
"Err... no time to explain!"
Venombyte stared at er-no.
"Damn, alright then... They find out that Mac Users are trying to find Grix, who THEY think is Stefan, so they can use him to kill Bill Gates, when he is revived."
"...Well you know, so can't we just rescue them?"
"No, because I only know because they told me in the future, and they only told me because they were captured. Don't worry, they escape fine."
"Right. We're going no further until you explain this plot."
er-no winced at the thought.
"Right... ok."
"It started off with you going to watch Turbonutter's new film, based on your adventures, which seemed to have become popular with the world after you destroyed Bill Gates. [See the sword story for more details] Bored with that, you went off and decided to go on a brand new adventure, after a few pints. Meka offered to go sailing in his new ship."
"Needless to say, you got shipwrecked. Ant died, and suddenly re-appeared again. You met some dwarfs, and pigmys, and found some floating islands, which FantasyMeister seemed to know an awful lot about."
"Something happened with the pigmys, and you all went off looking for the Holy Grail. The cup that brings immortal life... Everynow and again some germans came along and tried to kill you."
Venombyte started to sway.
"Then, you found a cave on the map which the pigmys gave you. You ended up in a nursery, which might be revealed later why, and you were told of the plot. Ish."
"Bill Gates is going to be revived, and his body is going to be exhumed from his shrine in Manhattan Isle. You were told by Wookiee Monster, who used to work for Stefan Ramiste, also known as FantasyMeister, that he will be revived with the help of the floating islands around the globe, which focus the Earth's energy into one spot, and so raising the dead. FM's job, paid by the associates of Bill Gates with free games for life, was to kill off all of you, so you wouldn't hinder the plan."
"You then went to Pembrokeshire to start to look for Gates. You marched on, learning of where Gate's body was. You got in a plane, crashed it, and got chased by a nude Bonus to a hotel. Pb and Ant then vanished, and were captured by the Mac Users. There was also something said about the lifeblood of the dreamer needed to resurrect Gates around this time. We'll see where that goes. I met the Fog Faction, which a bunch of self indulging gits that thought we lot were warriors. Nothing like us at all. I then travelled looking for some kind of hint to help me find you. I found the newspaper article, of a Microsoft Industrial Plant exploding, and there being one survivor. I knew it was Sniper."
"Then, you went back to Meka's house, and promptly then to the pub. You met the mimes for the first time, and FM managed to get rid of them. He revealed that he was in fact once a mime artist, but refuses to say why the mimes are after him."
Venombyte sat down.
"FM and Grix met away from the rest in the forest, both were trying to get away from the rest. FM because he was going to kill them, and Grix because they were going to kill him for hindering their adventures all the time. However, they were both knocked out, after FM promised some Germans that they could have Grix, and were taken to New York."
Venombyte started to feel dizzy.
"In this time, the rest of the guys started to look for er-no the hermit, for some odd reason. The bloke who was or indeed was not me told them to go to the woods, so they could find a teleporter to take them to New York. Odd coincidence, I think not."
"In New York, Grix and FM were tied to chairs, and put in a boat. Someone shot the boat, and let it sink into the ocean. They managed to escape by sitting on a crate in the boat, that contained many Street Fighter 2 cartridges before they emptied them all out. FM managed to pick up a few."
"While FM and Grix floated off into the ocean, the rest of you met Jaguar Dmitiry after uttering some magical words. He invited you to a pub after you helped him to fetch his keys. He, however, works for the people trying to revive Bill Gates, and the "pub" which you went into was actually a Microsoft Engineering Plant, which they tried to blow up while you were still inside. You escaped, after someone placed a news article into your pocket, which you related to the scene."
"The whole point of blowing up the Engineering Plant, however, apart from getting rid of you lot, was the only way they could get Sniper away from you. They tried to get in there and get him, but he was already gone. He found the rest, and was quite safe."
"You and Meka however didn't know that, and after advice from Jaguar, went to the nearby Gates Memorial Tower, where you thought Sniper was. You waltzed in, and went up, and defeated Steve Bulmer in a court battle. I then got the tardis into there, after learning of it in the future, and picked you up. Meka was shot in the leg, and couldn't make it."
"During this time, Pb and Ant were stuck in a huge hall. They learnt of the Mac Users plan to kill Bill Gates, by forcing Grix to work for them, who they mistakenly thought was Stefan Ramiste. They escaped by breaking their bonds. Sometime long before this, Pb and Ant made robots of themselves, probably in the hotel, so to make sure if anyone wrote about them somewhere else, it would at least make a bit of sense."
"Pb and Ant finally managed to get to New York, to find Gate's body, and found the rest of the guys, where they managed to swap places with the robots without even the authors noticing."
"Meanwhile, Grix and FM had fell asleep in the ocean, and in true Hollywood fashion, woke up on a beach. Oddly, the beach was a skyscraper beach, made by some millionnaire on the top of it. They ran off, and went to McDonalds."
"Where the rest of the people found them. Ant told them of how Meka was dead. I saw him die eariler on, when I travelled through time. Probably the same event."
"However, me and you are now travelling back through time to stop FM shooting Pb and Ant."
"And that's the story so far... I think." er-no collapsed on the floor, next to where Venombyte had already fell, trying to take it all in.
When they woke, the tardis had popped back into existance, and landed in the field outside the hotel that they stayed in, when Pb and Ant vanished.
er-no opened the doors... "GET IN!" He shouted to Ant and Pb, who lay in the grass.
They got up, and ran towards the tardis. As they got near it, he slammed the doors shut, and sent the Tardis spiraling back through time.
Pb and Ant, stopped, wondering what to do. They didn't really need to wonder long, as they were struck over the back of the head, and bundled into a car.
FM looked down the sight of the sniper rifle... damn, he didn't really get a chance. er-no in the tardis had put him off, and those people who captured them... hmmm... not really sure who they were. Ah well, never mind. Just wake up in the morning, shout that they've vanished, no one will know.
FM took apart the sniper rifle, placed it in it's case under the bed, and went to sleep.
--------------
"So..." Venombyte said... "Where are we going now?"
"To pick up the rest. We're going to save Meka."
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