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"Body Harvest"

I just re-bought it for £7. You should all do the exact same, unless you were clever enough not to sell it in the first place:

"Some tasks are pure genius: a harvesting wave attacks an elementary school in America 1966. Your goal is to lead the children to the nearby church, but they're not getting on the school bus you hop into. Hop into an ice cream truck named Mr. Lolly, and watch the children follow. Mr. Lolly's "weapon" is a hilarious ice cream jingle. Imagine slowly driving an ice cream truck down the street, jingling a happy tune, aliens are beaming down and attacking all around you, and you have about 20 children following after you that you need to lead to the church. It's moments like this that make you realize the brilliance of Body Harvest's gameplay."

I'm the oldest in my year bar one girl, by two days.


But then she has the face of a horse so I'm not complaining.

Oh she doesn't count then.

How long would it take you to get to Gamestars?
I am guessing 1½ hours. That is no problem.

APPARENTLY, Nintendo's offering for gamestars is beach-themed, with a 'mario area' where you can play 'all the mario classics'. How utterly utterly rubbish. Although I hear there's an Metroid Prime 2 tournament.

Alas, I will not be attending.

My weekend consists of:

Saturday:
Chemistry in t'morning.
Shopping
[Parents leave for the weekend]
Party with 20 close friends
[friends stay the night]

Sunday
Continue partying
Sleep


Shame really, I would obviously win the MP 2 tournament.


If you want, you can wear a big sign that says: 'If your name is Jack Costin speak to me', and then he can tell you how amazing I am in person.

Chemistry i'the morning? Oh dear oh dear what a terrible way to start your birthday.

Shopping? Another trip to Ann Summers, to 'stock up' for the following night?

'close friends'

I know a lot of people, but most of them are total wankshafts.


I'm going to make my parents buy me shirts that cost £50-80, I always enjoy that.

I got the most amazing pirate shirt last time.

The best thing to do would be to say you need some new school shirts and then go to Ted Baker or wherever, and get them all for a hundred squids.
Apparently this year, as I'm 18, my parents refuse to buy me any games, so I'm at a loss as for what to ask for. Any suggestions?

I do wear them at school...


Oh dear, I see your parents are forcing the fun out of present days already. I vowed that on the day I start receiving bits of everyday crap like shaving gel and ties, is the day I start spending birthdays/christmas etc in seclusion, far away from my family.


Just tell them to buy you some condoms, you'll need about 60 for the week as you're very 'busy'. Of course they could always give you a new game to keep you occupied instead..

I might ask for a spirograph kit.

oh who am I kidding I won't have any time for birthdays or anything when Body Harvest arrives.