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With a quite badly upset stomach, wearing nothing but my boxers, and they're round my ankles.
When all of a sudden, a large wolf spider (about 2 inches in diameter)comes marching out from between the bath and cabinet, straight towards me across the floor.
I swear, if I hadn't already done so, I'd have shat myself.
What to do? I dare not stand up, I've nothing to squish it with, and there's no point screaming like a girl because there's no-one around to hear it. And besides, the door's locked.
Employing my strictly limited contortionist skills to keep my butt firmly on the loo, I stretch... stretch... stretch... across the bathroom sink and manage to grab a can of deodourant and pop the lid off.
It's a life or death struggle as the thing edges ever closer. Suddenly I see my opportunity, and... BAM! I slam the lid down sharply.
When the dust settles, I see that - thanks to my years of hand-eye coordination training on videogames - my aim was true, and the beast is caged. I'm safe at last.
At least until I go back to dispose of the monster. I swear I can hear it snarling.
When all of a sudden, a large wolf spider (about 2 inches in diameter)comes marching out from between the bath and cabinet, straight towards me across the floor.
I swear, if I hadn't already done so, I'd have shat myself.
What to do? I dare not stand up, I've nothing to squish it with, and there's no point screaming like a girl because there's no-one around to hear it. And besides, the door's locked.
Employing my strictly limited contortionist skills to keep my butt firmly on the loo, I stretch... stretch... stretch... across the bathroom sink and manage to grab a can of deodourant and pop the lid off.
It's a life or death struggle as the thing edges ever closer. Suddenly I see my opportunity, and... BAM! I slam the lid down sharply.
When the dust settles, I see that - thanks to my years of hand-eye coordination training on videogames - my aim was true, and the beast is caged. I'm safe at last.
At least until I go back to dispose of the monster. I swear I can hear it snarling.
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It's only a spider you big girl. I could understand if you lived in Australia, but spider over here are completly harmless.
I'd have ran (run?) away.
With a quite badly upset stomach, wearing nothing but my boxers, and they're round my ankles.
When all of a sudden, a large wolf spider (about 2 inches in diameter)comes marching out from between the bath and cabinet, straight towards me across the floor.
I swear, if I hadn't already done so, I'd have shat myself.
What to do? I dare not stand up, I've nothing to squish it with, and there's no point screaming like a girl because there's no-one around to hear it. And besides, the door's locked.
Employing my strictly limited contortionist skills to keep my butt firmly on the loo, I stretch... stretch... stretch... across the bathroom sink and manage to grab a can of deodourant and pop the lid off.
It's a life or death struggle as the thing edges ever closer. Suddenly I see my opportunity, and... BAM! I slam the lid down sharply.
When the dust settles, I see that - thanks to my years of hand-eye coordination training on videogames - my aim was true, and the beast is caged. I'm safe at last.
At least until I go back to dispose of the monster. I swear I can hear it snarling.
When all of a sudden, a large wolf spider (about 2 inches in diameter)comes marching out from between the bath and cabinet, straight towards me across the floor.
I swear, if I hadn't already done so, I'd have shat myself.
What to do? I dare not stand up, I've nothing to squish it with, and there's no point screaming like a girl because there's no-one around to hear it. And besides, the door's locked.
Employing my strictly limited contortionist skills to keep my butt firmly on the loo, I stretch... stretch... stretch... across the bathroom sink and manage to grab a can of deodourant and pop the lid off.
It's a life or death struggle as the thing edges ever closer. Suddenly I see my opportunity, and... BAM! I slam the lid down sharply.
When the dust settles, I see that - thanks to my years of hand-eye coordination training on videogames - my aim was true, and the beast is caged. I'm safe at last.
At least until I go back to dispose of the monster. I swear I can hear it snarling.
Page: