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"I'm an insanely stupid and red-faced person" commented Rafael Benitez, at a press conference today, before anyone had even asked him anything.
Once Rafa had been persuaded to raise his head out of Peter Crouch's groin, he proceeded to rule himself out of the Michael Owen race.
"For a start, he's faster than me!" said Rafa. Unfortunately, no-one laughed at his joke. Instead, the assembled media simply laughed at Rafa, for he had a £7 million honeysuckle-support sitting next to him.
"No, you see, I really do not need this Owen character. Last season, you see, I had 3 strikers, and that wasn't enough for me. Now, I am selling that guy Baros, so I will have 3 strikers. That is enough for me, cunningly meaning I can complain like a donkey with a thorn in it's schlong when Peter Crouch doesn't, as I expect, score 2 goals a game."
At this point, the media stopped asking any questions, because it was clear the extremely red-cheeked person wanted to be alone with his lamppost of a friend.
--
I want Mikey back. So does every Liverpool fan.
Once Rafa had been persuaded to raise his head out of Peter Crouch's groin, he proceeded to rule himself out of the Michael Owen race.
"For a start, he's faster than me!" said Rafa. Unfortunately, no-one laughed at his joke. Instead, the assembled media simply laughed at Rafa, for he had a £7 million honeysuckle-support sitting next to him.
"No, you see, I really do not need this Owen character. Last season, you see, I had 3 strikers, and that wasn't enough for me. Now, I am selling that guy Baros, so I will have 3 strikers. That is enough for me, cunningly meaning I can complain like a donkey with a thorn in it's schlong when Peter Crouch doesn't, as I expect, score 2 goals a game."
At this point, the media stopped asking any questions, because it was clear the extremely red-cheeked person wanted to be alone with his lamppost of a friend.
--
I want Mikey back. So does every Liverpool fan.
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down wrote:
> Gerd Muller - 68 goals, 62 games
> Just Fontaine - 30 goals, 21 games
Crikey. Eusebo's (sp?) was pretty awesome too if I recall.
> Gerd Muller - 68 goals, 62 games
> Just Fontaine - 30 goals, 21 games
Crikey. Eusebo's (sp?) was pretty awesome too if I recall.
I bet Baros likes Michelle Branch too.
Yeah, balls to all these other strikers, Mikey/Milan = D'Best.
Gerd Muller - 68 goals, 62 games
Just Fontaine - 30 goals, 21 games
Just Fontaine - 30 goals, 21 games
And hair like a girls.
RastaBillySkank wrote:
> Good. If you'd've said Baros there I'd've thought you were
> insensible/furiously fapping to Baros pictures
---
Who says I don't? He's dreamy. Eyes like liquid moonlight.
> Good. If you'd've said Baros there I'd've thought you were
> insensible/furiously fapping to Baros pictures
---
Who says I don't? He's dreamy. Eyes like liquid moonlight.
Most recent stats I can find are 35 goals in 53 games for Costa Rica. But it must be more than that now. I could've sworn it was better than that though... hmmm.
Anyway, best international record I know of was Ferenc Puskas. 85 goals in 86 games for Hungary :-)
Anyway, best international record I know of was Ferenc Puskas. 85 goals in 86 games for Hungary :-)
Stryke wrote:
> Owen. I love them both, but even I can't suggest Baros is as good as
> Owen at club level. Baros is probably just that little bit faster,
> and definitely stronger on the ball, but Owen is just a more natural
> finisher and he's always going to score.
Good. If you'd've said Baros there I'd've thought you were insensible/furiously fapping to Baros pictures
> International level, different story. I could be wrong, but they're
> the two most profilic international strikers? Putting aside people
> who have a 100% record from 1 goal in 1 game.
Not entirely sure about that. Could be right, though Paulo Wanchope has an incredible international record.
> Owen. I love them both, but even I can't suggest Baros is as good as
> Owen at club level. Baros is probably just that little bit faster,
> and definitely stronger on the ball, but Owen is just a more natural
> finisher and he's always going to score.
Good. If you'd've said Baros there I'd've thought you were insensible/furiously fapping to Baros pictures
> International level, different story. I could be wrong, but they're
> the two most profilic international strikers? Putting aside people
> who have a 100% record from 1 goal in 1 game.
Not entirely sure about that. Could be right, though Paulo Wanchope has an incredible international record.
RastaBillySkank wrote:
> Question for Stryke: Who would you rather have at Liverpool, Baros or
> Owen?
--
Owen. I love them both, but even I can't suggest Baros is as good as Owen at club level. Baros is probably just that little bit faster, and definitely stronger on the ball, but Owen is just a more natural finisher and he's always going to score.
International level, different story. I could be wrong, but they're the two most profilic international strikers? Putting aside people who have a 100% record from 1 goal in 1 game.
> Question for Stryke: Who would you rather have at Liverpool, Baros or
> Owen?
--
Owen. I love them both, but even I can't suggest Baros is as good as Owen at club level. Baros is probably just that little bit faster, and definitely stronger on the ball, but Owen is just a more natural finisher and he's always going to score.
International level, different story. I could be wrong, but they're the two most profilic international strikers? Putting aside people who have a 100% record from 1 goal in 1 game.
Blank wrote:
> But he won't be third choice, that's why he's leaving. He'll be
> amongst four other world class strikers (although admittedly Baptista
> plays more often in attacking midfield), so he'll be playing even less
> than he did last season.
I think he will be third though.
Baptista and Raul will be played in midfield, probably on the left, leaving Ronaldo, Robinho and Owen to fight amongst themselves for the two forward positions up front.
Whatsmore, seeing as Robinho won't arrive at Real for the start of the season anyway, Owen will have a fair few games that he might start alongside Ronaldo.
> But he won't be third choice, that's why he's leaving. He'll be
> amongst four other world class strikers (although admittedly Baptista
> plays more often in attacking midfield), so he'll be playing even less
> than he did last season.
I think he will be third though.
Baptista and Raul will be played in midfield, probably on the left, leaving Ronaldo, Robinho and Owen to fight amongst themselves for the two forward positions up front.
Whatsmore, seeing as Robinho won't arrive at Real for the start of the season anyway, Owen will have a fair few games that he might start alongside Ronaldo.
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