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"I'm an insanely stupid and red-faced person" commented Rafael Benitez, at a press conference today, before anyone had even asked him anything.
Once Rafa had been persuaded to raise his head out of Peter Crouch's groin, he proceeded to rule himself out of the Michael Owen race.
"For a start, he's faster than me!" said Rafa. Unfortunately, no-one laughed at his joke. Instead, the assembled media simply laughed at Rafa, for he had a £7 million honeysuckle-support sitting next to him.
"No, you see, I really do not need this Owen character. Last season, you see, I had 3 strikers, and that wasn't enough for me. Now, I am selling that guy Baros, so I will have 3 strikers. That is enough for me, cunningly meaning I can complain like a donkey with a thorn in it's schlong when Peter Crouch doesn't, as I expect, score 2 goals a game."
At this point, the media stopped asking any questions, because it was clear the extremely red-cheeked person wanted to be alone with his lamppost of a friend.
--
I want Mikey back. So does every Liverpool fan.
Once Rafa had been persuaded to raise his head out of Peter Crouch's groin, he proceeded to rule himself out of the Michael Owen race.
"For a start, he's faster than me!" said Rafa. Unfortunately, no-one laughed at his joke. Instead, the assembled media simply laughed at Rafa, for he had a £7 million honeysuckle-support sitting next to him.
"No, you see, I really do not need this Owen character. Last season, you see, I had 3 strikers, and that wasn't enough for me. Now, I am selling that guy Baros, so I will have 3 strikers. That is enough for me, cunningly meaning I can complain like a donkey with a thorn in it's schlong when Peter Crouch doesn't, as I expect, score 2 goals a game."
At this point, the media stopped asking any questions, because it was clear the extremely red-cheeked person wanted to be alone with his lamppost of a friend.
--
I want Mikey back. So does every Liverpool fan.
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Question for Stryke: Who would you rather have at Liverpool, Baros or Owen?
Mav wrote:
> It would be pointless going from third choice at Real to third choice
> at United.
But he won't be third choice, that's why he's leaving. He'll be amongst four other world class strikers (although admittedly Baptista plays more often in attacking midfield), so he'll be playing even less than he did last season.
> It would be pointless going from third choice at Real to third choice
> at United.
But he won't be third choice, that's why he's leaving. He'll be amongst four other world class strikers (although admittedly Baptista plays more often in attacking midfield), so he'll be playing even less than he did last season.
JFH wrote:
> [URL]http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/l/liverpool/4744731.stm[/URL]
>
> Why can't they just make their minds up and get it over with?
It's more of a case of they haven't decided.
> [URL]http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/l/liverpool/4744731.stm[/URL]
>
> Why can't they just make their minds up and get it over with?
It's more of a case of they haven't decided.
Yeah, I can see this becoming as tedious as the Chelsea-Lyons Essien saga.
Although, I'm wary about Owen going to Man Utd. Playing alongside Rooney for a year would be ideal, but is that what he'll be doing? Worryingly it seems that Ferguson wants to sell Saha to make space for Owen, not Van Nistelrooy, which would be more encouraging.
It would be pointless going from third choice at Real to third choice at United.
Although, I'm wary about Owen going to Man Utd. Playing alongside Rooney for a year would be ideal, but is that what he'll be doing? Worryingly it seems that Ferguson wants to sell Saha to make space for Owen, not Van Nistelrooy, which would be more encouraging.
It would be pointless going from third choice at Real to third choice at United.
[URL]http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/l/liverpool/4744731.stm[/URL]
Why can't they just make their minds up and get it over with?
Why can't they just make their minds up and get it over with?
I doubt he'll come to United anyway considering the usual way we conduct transfers.
*Hmmm Owen's worth 12 million you say? .............. We'll give you 4 million and you can give us a bag of chips for Kleberson as well*
*Hmmm Owen's worth 12 million you say? .............. We'll give you 4 million and you can give us a bag of chips for Kleberson as well*
I hope he comes to Man Utd - though I've seen some ridiculous 3-2-5 formations being suggested to fit him in (alongside Ruud, with Rooney behind, and Giggs/ Park and Ronaldo on the wings). He scores goals. Always amonst the top scorers come the end of hte season, despite the last few at Liverpool being interrupted by injuries.
He's not got a chance if he stays at Real - the coach didn't sign him, and he's a Brazilian, and has three Brazilian forwards. Then there's Raul, Real legend, he's not likely to drop him. Which leaves Mickey on the bench - sometimes.
He's not got a chance if he stays at Real - the coach didn't sign him, and he's a Brazilian, and has three Brazilian forwards. Then there's Raul, Real legend, he's not likely to drop him. Which leaves Mickey on the bench - sometimes.
I'd rather Mikey went to Man Utd and played regularly rather than sat on the bench at Real Madrid behind less deserving players or wasting his career away at Newcastle.
I don't want him to join United, point-blank.
But admittedly, I was daydreaming yesterday.
Y'know the way Rooney showed off his pug-ugly mug to the Kop when he scored that fluke against us at Anfield last year?
Well, I can just imagine Mikey suddenly signing for Liverpool, and doing exactly the same thing at Old Trafford when he curls one around Van Der Saar...
And then curls one out all over the pitch too!
See what I did there? Anyway, I doubt that will happen, cos Mikey won't be joining...so Gerrard can do the curling and the mocking instead. :P
But admittedly, I was daydreaming yesterday.
Y'know the way Rooney showed off his pug-ugly mug to the Kop when he scored that fluke against us at Anfield last year?
Well, I can just imagine Mikey suddenly signing for Liverpool, and doing exactly the same thing at Old Trafford when he curls one around Van Der Saar...
And then curls one out all over the pitch too!
See what I did there? Anyway, I doubt that will happen, cos Mikey won't be joining...so Gerrard can do the curling and the mocking instead. :P
Rafa shouldn't be playing mind-games with Jose, he'll lose.
Here's my logic for bidding for Mikey:
Last season, we didn't have enough strikers. So we added Morientes. Not enough goals still.
Now, we're adding Crouch - not an out-and-out goalscorer, a 'link-up' man. And we're selling Baros, who is a goalscorer. Mikey is in the Baros/Cisse mould.
Cisse gets injured (as he probably will, knowing out luck) and the goals will dry up this season so quickly it'll make Rafa lose his red spots, and we'll be sat relying on Crouch for goals when Michael Owen and Rooney are banging them in for fun not too far away.
Watching ITV2 at the moment, they reckon Mikey would be perfect for Chelsea. Which is true.
Here's my logic for bidding for Mikey:
Last season, we didn't have enough strikers. So we added Morientes. Not enough goals still.
Now, we're adding Crouch - not an out-and-out goalscorer, a 'link-up' man. And we're selling Baros, who is a goalscorer. Mikey is in the Baros/Cisse mould.
Cisse gets injured (as he probably will, knowing out luck) and the goals will dry up this season so quickly it'll make Rafa lose his red spots, and we'll be sat relying on Crouch for goals when Michael Owen and Rooney are banging them in for fun not too far away.
Watching ITV2 at the moment, they reckon Mikey would be perfect for Chelsea. Which is true.
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