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"Rafa rules out Owen"

"I'm an insanely stupid and red-faced person" commented Rafael Benitez, at a press conference today, before anyone had even asked him anything.

Once Rafa had been persuaded to raise his head out of Peter Crouch's groin, he proceeded to rule himself out of the Michael Owen race.

"For a start, he's faster than me!" said Rafa. Unfortunately, no-one laughed at his joke. Instead, the assembled media simply laughed at Rafa, for he had a £7 million honeysuckle-support sitting next to him.

"No, you see, I really do not need this Owen character. Last season, you see, I had 3 strikers, and that wasn't enough for me. Now, I am selling that guy Baros, so I will have 3 strikers. That is enough for me, cunningly meaning I can complain like a donkey with a thorn in it's schlong when Peter Crouch doesn't, as I expect, score 2 goals a game."

At this point, the media stopped asking any questions, because it was clear the extremely red-cheeked person wanted to be alone with his lamppost of a friend.

--

I want Mikey back. So does every Liverpool fan.

Stryke wrote:
> Crouch has already got Salif Diao's old squad number. Now there's an
> omen for you.

I thought Diao was still hanging around?

Mav wrote:
> Interesting snippet of info - apparently the No. 10 shirt is currently
> in limbo.
>
> Fans wanting to purchase a shirt from official club shops with
> "GARCIA - 10" emblazoned across the back have been advised
> not to by store workers.

Now thats interesting. Fingers crossed then!

Crouch has already got Salif Diao's old squad number. Now there's an omen for you.

I think that is clutching at straws...

He'll probably give the 10 shirt to Crouch.

Intriguing...

Interesting...Maybe the shop assistant just thinks Garcia is awful and wouldn't buy the shirt himself, heh.

Or Garcia could be sold. Don't see that happening though, he had a great first season and the Kop loves him.

Let Mikey have the 11 shirt. He wore it at Real, and now Smicer's gone it can become a proper shirt again.

I heard it on the official Liverpool message boards.

Thought it was a downright lie at first until someone who shared my opinion went to find out himself and found it to be completely true.

Where'd you hear this?

I always thought Mikey wouldn't come back if he couldn't have no 10, and apparently Luis Garcia didn't want 10 because he didn't want to have to live up to Mikey. Bit like Ronaldo having a sulk about wearing 7, until it became abundantly clear he was far better than Beckham ever was.

I dunno, obviously the last part was tongue-in-cheek speculation, but apparently that's what's happening.

You're making that up, surely. C'mon, that never happens.