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"Rafa rules out Owen"

"I'm an insanely stupid and red-faced person" commented Rafael Benitez, at a press conference today, before anyone had even asked him anything.

Once Rafa had been persuaded to raise his head out of Peter Crouch's groin, he proceeded to rule himself out of the Michael Owen race.

"For a start, he's faster than me!" said Rafa. Unfortunately, no-one laughed at his joke. Instead, the assembled media simply laughed at Rafa, for he had a £7 million honeysuckle-support sitting next to him.

"No, you see, I really do not need this Owen character. Last season, you see, I had 3 strikers, and that wasn't enough for me. Now, I am selling that guy Baros, so I will have 3 strikers. That is enough for me, cunningly meaning I can complain like a donkey with a thorn in it's schlong when Peter Crouch doesn't, as I expect, score 2 goals a game."

At this point, the media stopped asking any questions, because it was clear the extremely red-cheeked person wanted to be alone with his lamppost of a friend.

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I want Mikey back. So does every Liverpool fan.

Kirkland makes Saha look like the healthiest man alive.

Houllier bought some good players. Hyypia. Baros. Pongolle. Le Tallec. Baros. Riise. Baros. Kirkland.

But, to be honest, the only two that have proven themselves are Hyypia and Riise.

And Riise's the only world-class player he's bought.

Oh, yeah, and Cisse. He counts as a Houllier signing - just.

RastaBillySkank wrote:
> Heheheh. He really is crap. Why did Houlier even buy him?

You could say that about so many Liverpool players of that era!

Didnt Houllier spend well in excess of 100 million? Pretty staggering considering most of his best players were home grown!

Stryke wrote:
> It was from Janurary to now. They didn't want to keep him, I
> believe.

Can't imagine why...

Heheheh. He really is crap. Why did Houlier even buy him?

And John Welsh rules.

Haha, just checked. Diao doesn't even have a squad number. He's still at 'Pool, but looking for a new club. You can't even choose him on Fantasy Football.

What a loser. You can even choose John Welsh, if the fancy took you.

RastaBillySkank wrote:
> Heh. Squad numbers are re-submitted at the beginning of every season
> so you can mix and match all you like. Just didn't realise Birmingham
> were daft enough to take Salif on loan :-) Is it season long?

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It was from Janurary to now. They didn't want to keep him, I believe.

I know squad numbers can be changed, but it's very rare and only normally happens from a crap number to a better one (Stevie, 17 to 8. Riise, 18 to 6). It doesn't, well, ever happen from a good number to a crap one.

"Meester Rafa, I donna wan' 10 annnnnymore."

Stryke wrote:
> Crespo's wearing 9 for Chelsea

He's not worthy, they should give him his 21 back, I don't think anybody else has it.

Heh. Squad numbers are re-submitted at the beginning of every season so you can mix and match all you like. Just didn't realise Birmingham were daft enough to take Salif on loan :-) Is it season long?

Please say it's season long with a view to a permanent move...

Yeah, but he went to Birmingham on loan thereby vacating his squad number. He gets a new one when he comes back. Crespo's wearing 9 for Chelsea, and he wore a different one for them back in the day.

I don't think Salif has even got a squad number, heh. He's the heir to Henchoz's throne as King Of The Anfield Outlaws, or whatever Stephane dubbed himself :)