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[URL]http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/stealth/comic-con/[/URL]
It's another summer blockbuster that brain damaged boys will whoop to and then forget they saw it 10mins later.
Why do these films get made?
I watched the trailer and found myself looking out the window in sheer non-interest as it played.
WATCH! the explosions and FEEL! the rumblerama explosion digital stereo whilst you LOVE! the bikini-clad woman as she FLIES! at great speed whilst MISSILES! narrowly miss her as HUGE EXPLOSIONS! plume into the sky to cover STEALTH PLANES! attacking with MORE EXPLOSIONS! etc etc
I wonder if it will end in a tense attack on some military installation, and they've had to STEAL! the STEALTH! plane because they've been suspended due to their RENEGADE! ways and NONCONFORMIST! attitudes as their commander gruffly tells them they're grounded yet secretely is happy when they ATTACK! in the finale, and having landed SAFELY! the woman and white guy (we can't have inter-race relationships in our summer films, we can watch brown people getting EXPLODED! but they can't kiss white women) run to each other and EMBRACE!
Ass movie.
It's another summer blockbuster that brain damaged boys will whoop to and then forget they saw it 10mins later.
Why do these films get made?
I watched the trailer and found myself looking out the window in sheer non-interest as it played.
WATCH! the explosions and FEEL! the rumblerama explosion digital stereo whilst you LOVE! the bikini-clad woman as she FLIES! at great speed whilst MISSILES! narrowly miss her as HUGE EXPLOSIONS! plume into the sky to cover STEALTH PLANES! attacking with MORE EXPLOSIONS! etc etc
I wonder if it will end in a tense attack on some military installation, and they've had to STEAL! the STEALTH! plane because they've been suspended due to their RENEGADE! ways and NONCONFORMIST! attitudes as their commander gruffly tells them they're grounded yet secretely is happy when they ATTACK! in the finale, and having landed SAFELY! the woman and white guy (we can't have inter-race relationships in our summer films, we can watch brown people getting EXPLODED! but they can't kiss white women) run to each other and EMBRACE!
Ass movie.
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Just to clear any confusion (I've not been awake long so it's not difficult), Biel is in the evilplane movie and Alba is in the swimmy about one.
It's definetly Biel, she's half of the reason why Blade Trinity sucked so badly.
Crikey, if they don't even know who's in it, what chance does this film have?
Stryke wrote:
> Jessica Biel. Not Jessica Alba, she's the one in Fantastic Four and
> Sin City. I've made the same mistake.
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It says Jessica Alba on the poster thingy?
I'm confused.
**edit**
Alba's in the 2nd link I posted, the swimmy one. I couldn't tell you who's in the evilplane film except for Ray Charles.
> Jessica Biel. Not Jessica Alba, she's the one in Fantastic Four and
> Sin City. I've made the same mistake.
-------
It says Jessica Alba on the poster thingy?
I'm confused.
**edit**
Alba's in the 2nd link I posted, the swimmy one. I couldn't tell you who's in the evilplane film except for Ray Charles.
Goatboy wrote:
> An evil plane? I completely missed that part of it, yet I watched the
> whole thing. How strange...perhaps my brain said "Nope, I'm not
> going to let you retain any information about this one" and made
> me think of something else?
From what I could gather amidst the multifarious and no doubt completely necessary explosions, a new computerized plane, set to revolutionize the Air Force/Marines/Generic Armed Force and make humans redundant, gets struck by lightning thus "completely rewiring" it (how?) and causing it to target things in America. No doubt it's up to the previously redundant and obsolete human pilots to take it down. That's my guess anyway.
> An evil plane? I completely missed that part of it, yet I watched the
> whole thing. How strange...perhaps my brain said "Nope, I'm not
> going to let you retain any information about this one" and made
> me think of something else?
From what I could gather amidst the multifarious and no doubt completely necessary explosions, a new computerized plane, set to revolutionize the Air Force/Marines/Generic Armed Force and make humans redundant, gets struck by lightning thus "completely rewiring" it (how?) and causing it to target things in America. No doubt it's up to the previously redundant and obsolete human pilots to take it down. That's my guess anyway.
Jessica Biel. Not Jessica Alba, she's the one in Fantastic Four and Sin City. I've made the same mistake.
They're both good in bikinis, anyway
They're both good in bikinis, anyway
An evil plane? I completely missed that part of it, yet I watched the whole thing. How strange...perhaps my brain said "Nope, I'm not going to let you retain any information about this one" and made me think of something else?
This looks equally mindless, but it has Jessica Alba in a very small bikini, which is a million times better than some "evil" stealth plane.
[URL]http://www.apple.com/trailers/mgm/into_the_blue/trailer_2/[/URL]
It's Beverly Hills 9020193 meets The Deep (go look it up teenage boys and search for Jacqueline Bisset).
This looks equally mindless, but it has Jessica Alba in a very small bikini, which is a million times better than some "evil" stealth plane.
[URL]http://www.apple.com/trailers/mgm/into_the_blue/trailer_2/[/URL]
It's Beverly Hills 9020193 meets The Deep (go look it up teenage boys and search for Jacqueline Bisset).
Saw the advert for this and immediately thought it looked like Short Circuit with Johnny 5 being replaced by an evil plane.
The person who is directing The Fast & The Furious 3 is also directing the Hollywood remake of Oldboy.
For shame.
For shame.
Just watched the new trailer for it and it looks like one of those films that's so awful, there'll be some definite entertainment value in it. Having said that, I thought that about xXx and I almost walked out of the cinema in that one. I've never been more offended at a movie.
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