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[URL]http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/stealth/comic-con/[/URL]
It's another summer blockbuster that brain damaged boys will whoop to and then forget they saw it 10mins later.
Why do these films get made?
I watched the trailer and found myself looking out the window in sheer non-interest as it played.
WATCH! the explosions and FEEL! the rumblerama explosion digital stereo whilst you LOVE! the bikini-clad woman as she FLIES! at great speed whilst MISSILES! narrowly miss her as HUGE EXPLOSIONS! plume into the sky to cover STEALTH PLANES! attacking with MORE EXPLOSIONS! etc etc
I wonder if it will end in a tense attack on some military installation, and they've had to STEAL! the STEALTH! plane because they've been suspended due to their RENEGADE! ways and NONCONFORMIST! attitudes as their commander gruffly tells them they're grounded yet secretely is happy when they ATTACK! in the finale, and having landed SAFELY! the woman and white guy (we can't have inter-race relationships in our summer films, we can watch brown people getting EXPLODED! but they can't kiss white women) run to each other and EMBRACE!
Ass movie.
It's another summer blockbuster that brain damaged boys will whoop to and then forget they saw it 10mins later.
Why do these films get made?
I watched the trailer and found myself looking out the window in sheer non-interest as it played.
WATCH! the explosions and FEEL! the rumblerama explosion digital stereo whilst you LOVE! the bikini-clad woman as she FLIES! at great speed whilst MISSILES! narrowly miss her as HUGE EXPLOSIONS! plume into the sky to cover STEALTH PLANES! attacking with MORE EXPLOSIONS! etc etc
I wonder if it will end in a tense attack on some military installation, and they've had to STEAL! the STEALTH! plane because they've been suspended due to their RENEGADE! ways and NONCONFORMIST! attitudes as their commander gruffly tells them they're grounded yet secretely is happy when they ATTACK! in the finale, and having landed SAFELY! the woman and white guy (we can't have inter-race relationships in our summer films, we can watch brown people getting EXPLODED! but they can't kiss white women) run to each other and EMBRACE!
Ass movie.
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There's a trailer for the Doom movie floating about on the net now. See GUNS! Watch EXPLOSIONS!! Surprisingly little BLOOD!
The type of films that inspire despair for me are these 'ro-man-tic comedies'. You know the type - "He was a lowly somerfield shop assistant, with an in-growing toe-nail and an unhealthy enthusiasm for young girls. She was a hollywood movie star with a soft spot for shy greasy shelf stackers. Now, see what happens when the impossible becomes possible!".
Do you mind if I don't? I couldn't give two ass pellets for whatever empty headed broad they dredged from the endless supply of hopeful fame leeches existing in America today. 'The Wedding Crasher' - two expert wedding crashers and all round bad lads are completely undermined by ... you guessed it, a kooky but lovable freak! Ooooh, isn't she scary, but cute! Let's all fall in love with her together!
There must be at least 5 or 6 trailers I've seen advertised in recent months that have made me laugh out loud while secretly wanting to cry. Who laps this shat up? Someone out there does. Desperate girls, sorely lacking any form of romance in their lives cling on to this mass produced bile, in droves. Film-makers know this, and allow their target audience to advertise the films on telly. You know for sure a film is terrible, if they've resorted to slipping some god-awful slapper a free bin bag full of popcorn, just to say 'Me an' arr tray-see wen' te see it las' week and we wet arr knickers. It wer' gerrate!!'.
It's getting more and more difficult to predict if a film will be any good before you see it. And if it is a corker, the over the top advertising campaigns will ensure that any tasty plot twists are ruined well before you stroll down the sticky aisle to your seat.
Do you mind if I don't? I couldn't give two ass pellets for whatever empty headed broad they dredged from the endless supply of hopeful fame leeches existing in America today. 'The Wedding Crasher' - two expert wedding crashers and all round bad lads are completely undermined by ... you guessed it, a kooky but lovable freak! Ooooh, isn't she scary, but cute! Let's all fall in love with her together!
There must be at least 5 or 6 trailers I've seen advertised in recent months that have made me laugh out loud while secretly wanting to cry. Who laps this shat up? Someone out there does. Desperate girls, sorely lacking any form of romance in their lives cling on to this mass produced bile, in droves. Film-makers know this, and allow their target audience to advertise the films on telly. You know for sure a film is terrible, if they've resorted to slipping some god-awful slapper a free bin bag full of popcorn, just to say 'Me an' arr tray-see wen' te see it las' week and we wet arr knickers. It wer' gerrate!!'.
It's getting more and more difficult to predict if a film will be any good before you see it. And if it is a corker, the over the top advertising campaigns will ensure that any tasty plot twists are ruined well before you stroll down the sticky aisle to your seat.
It looks like Top Gun for brain damaged patriots who are miffed they can't rent Flubber from Blockbuster.
Goatboy wrote:
> It's that bad? I knew what to expect from the trailer and just don't
> want to surrender minutes of my life to something I know is going to
> be awful.
Oh it's awful, but I can take, and quite enjoy awful. American jingoistic patriotic crap awful gtets stuck in my throat.
> It's that bad? I knew what to expect from the trailer and just don't
> want to surrender minutes of my life to something I know is going to
> be awful.
Oh it's awful, but I can take, and quite enjoy awful. American jingoistic patriotic crap awful gtets stuck in my throat.
You can't really blame the film people for the Titanic...
It's that bad? I knew what to expect from the trailer and just don't want to surrender minutes of my life to something I know is going to be awful.
I told myself the same yet still attempted to watch The Day After Tomorrow, Titanic & some Hugh Grant film - and my instincs were correct each time.
I told myself the same yet still attempted to watch The Day After Tomorrow, Titanic & some Hugh Grant film - and my instincs were correct each time.
Goatboy wrote:
> I'll just watch a cut-scene from Splinter Cell, that has spy planes
> and explosions and stuff. Plus, I can the hero waddle down corridors
> like a deranged ninja-ET
It's probably got superior acting and far more character development to be honest.
> I'll just watch a cut-scene from Splinter Cell, that has spy planes
> and explosions and stuff. Plus, I can the hero waddle down corridors
> like a deranged ninja-ET
It's probably got superior acting and far more character development to be honest.
I'll just watch a cut-scene from Splinter Cell, that has spy planes and explosions and stuff. Plus, I can the hero waddle down corridors like a deranged ninja-ET
Hoooo boy, I think even I might be hard pressed to watch more than those 4 free minutes. It's like a videogame cutscene. At least Wing Commander 3 had the benefit of trying to be cutting edge on a pretty low budget.
Stryke wrote:
> There are some films that are so bad they're good, like Bulletproof
> Monk. I don't think this has potential to be one of those.
*Shrug* I found that unwatchable to be honest. Houe of the Dead, Alone in the dark, hell all of Uwe's stuff is appallingly bad, but good in that way IMHO.
This stealth looks like a drunken, mates around tankled up, shout at the utter stupidity of it class night in to me. :D
> There are some films that are so bad they're good, like Bulletproof
> Monk. I don't think this has potential to be one of those.
*Shrug* I found that unwatchable to be honest. Houe of the Dead, Alone in the dark, hell all of Uwe's stuff is appallingly bad, but good in that way IMHO.
This stealth looks like a drunken, mates around tankled up, shout at the utter stupidity of it class night in to me. :D
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