The "Creative Writing" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Today I felt terrible I woke thinking my wife would be laying, beside me and I would be able to put my arm round her. But no I couldn’t it was just lonely me I got up, and walked to the shower. I washed myself nice and clean, so I didn’t smell then I got dressed, in some nice clothes. Even though no one would really care I was wearing nice clothes. I went out the house and walked down the street, I walked along looking down at the floor, feeling sorry for myself.
Like I normally do every single day; every single second, minute, hour. I feel sorry for myself and I have never stopped. I have been acting like this since my wife went; we had been together for 10 years. She stopped it to go off with some other man, so now I hate her. I walk down the road kick some rubbish along. I walk into the café I go into every morning, to have my breakfast. I go in and ask for the usual bacon, egg, sausages and a nice warm cup of tea.
I shove it down me then walk out, I walk down to work I work in a little tiny office, where there’s no air conditioning and it’s boiling. Well the things to do today, walk up loads of stairs to my office because the lifts broken, then turn on my computer and wait for five damn minutes for it to load, then sit down and type up a load of horrible work. So I walk into the office no one greeting me I go and sit down, turn on the computer and wait for it to load. I go and open a window, when I look back round a woman is walking into the office. A woman I had never seen before with long blonde straight beautiful hair, her face so nice her eyes look glazed she was beautiful and I wanted her.
I went over to Mike “Who’s that woman” I asked. “What that one” He answered. “No the other Woman there” I answered “O she’s Sal” he told me. “Oh she’s beautiful. I didn’t need anybody anymore I had found the perfect person and she was great.
Like I normally do every single day; every single second, minute, hour. I feel sorry for myself and I have never stopped. I have been acting like this since my wife went; we had been together for 10 years. She stopped it to go off with some other man, so now I hate her. I walk down the road kick some rubbish along. I walk into the café I go into every morning, to have my breakfast. I go in and ask for the usual bacon, egg, sausages and a nice warm cup of tea.
I shove it down me then walk out, I walk down to work I work in a little tiny office, where there’s no air conditioning and it’s boiling. Well the things to do today, walk up loads of stairs to my office because the lifts broken, then turn on my computer and wait for five damn minutes for it to load, then sit down and type up a load of horrible work. So I walk into the office no one greeting me I go and sit down, turn on the computer and wait for it to load. I go and open a window, when I look back round a woman is walking into the office. A woman I had never seen before with long blonde straight beautiful hair, her face so nice her eyes look glazed she was beautiful and I wanted her.
I went over to Mike “Who’s that woman” I asked. “What that one” He answered. “No the other Woman there” I answered “O she’s Sal” he told me. “Oh she’s beautiful. I didn’t need anybody anymore I had found the perfect person and she was great.
Page:
That was off the scale on the crap factor.
Felt like a step in the wrong direction in as far as the progression of the Crossbob story. Read it back, it doesn't make sense - he hopes that his wife is in bed with him, only later to say he hates her now.
Also, no need to state obvious things, ie the fact that he showered so he wouldn't smell, I think that goes without saying.
Also, no need to state obvious things, ie the fact that he showered so he wouldn't smell, I think that goes without saying.
Aye, indeed.
Like I've never picked up a drumstick or touched a set of drums in my life, but my endless hilarious at seeing Whitestrips bint club the skins as hard as possible, one-at-a-time would be and was extremely well-founded.
Like I've never picked up a drumstick or touched a set of drums in my life, but my endless hilarious at seeing Whitestrips bint club the skins as hard as possible, one-at-a-time would be and was extremely well-founded.
Marinky_Kongshi wrote:
> Why not write your own story instead of
> being first in line to criticise others?
I've never understood this "I'd like to see you do better!" mentality that people have. If I write a story now, can I come back and say "this is crap" again, and suddenly it'll be a valid comment?
You don't have to be stunningly good at something yourself to be able to assess other people's efforts.
> Why not write your own story instead of
> being first in line to criticise others?
I've never understood this "I'd like to see you do better!" mentality that people have. If I write a story now, can I come back and say "this is crap" again, and suddenly it'll be a valid comment?
You don't have to be stunningly good at something yourself to be able to assess other people's efforts.
I'm pretty tired of explaining how incredibly wrong you are as well, but there we go.
Marinky_Kongshi wrote:
> There isn't good or bad.
> If some people like something, then it is good in their
> eyes. So I believe it does mean it is good.
Way to contradict yourself.
Good and bad doesn't exist - but something can still be good? Right, nice one.
I know where you're coming from in terms of that there is no objective view of good and bad, and that the terms are dependant on the culture you live in or the view you take on. But for exactly those reasons, good and bad does exist, it's just a variable not set measure.
Which I've explained to death below.
Marinky_Kongshi wrote:
>Why not write your own story instead of
> being first in line to criticise others?
I decided not to enter this competition because of exams, and I'm concentrating on writing my book. However, if it helps, I've entered 20 or so times before. Does that entitle me to an opinion?
If so - I can safely say that every single one of my entries are better than this story.
Criticism usually results in improvement, you know. Although if you've ever read any of crossbob's stuff, you'll realise that he's made no improvement and has recieved a thousand metric tonnes of good advice for improvement.
Thus, it's really not worth the effort anymore.
Not that I actually commented on the story in question, if I remember rightly.
meh
Marinky_Kongshi wrote:
> There isn't good or bad.
> If some people like something, then it is good in their
> eyes. So I believe it does mean it is good.
Way to contradict yourself.
Good and bad doesn't exist - but something can still be good? Right, nice one.
I know where you're coming from in terms of that there is no objective view of good and bad, and that the terms are dependant on the culture you live in or the view you take on. But for exactly those reasons, good and bad does exist, it's just a variable not set measure.
Which I've explained to death below.
Marinky_Kongshi wrote:
>Why not write your own story instead of
> being first in line to criticise others?
I decided not to enter this competition because of exams, and I'm concentrating on writing my book. However, if it helps, I've entered 20 or so times before. Does that entitle me to an opinion?
If so - I can safely say that every single one of my entries are better than this story.
Criticism usually results in improvement, you know. Although if you've ever read any of crossbob's stuff, you'll realise that he's made no improvement and has recieved a thousand metric tonnes of good advice for improvement.
Thus, it's really not worth the effort anymore.
Not that I actually commented on the story in question, if I remember rightly.
meh
u r a big gayzorz hu iz jist stoopid!!!11 stfu n00b
Some people might think that ^^^^ is a good argument.
They'd be wrong.
Opinions can be wrong.
Some people might think that ^^^^ is a good argument.
They'd be wrong.
Opinions can be wrong.
There isn't good or bad. Some people believe that God gave others the free will to murder so that life would be challenging(heard that in RS once). Other religions may think they have to kill certain other people because they believe it will keep their God happy,etc. These people don't think it's bad, they just think it's what God wants. Others could have a different background story. Also, this may seem bad to others, but is it really that bad? Being dead could mean, as far as we're aware, being away from the suffering and pain of life. Would you rather feel pain than be peaceful(as far as we're aware)? But let's not turn this into a religous quarrel.
If some people like something, then it is good in their eyes. So I believe it does mean it is good. I'm tired of explaining what an opinion is though. Why not write your own story instead of being first in line to criticise others?
If some people like something, then it is good in their eyes. So I believe it does mean it is good. I'm tired of explaining what an opinion is though. Why not write your own story instead of being first in line to criticise others?
Now you're confusing things. The issue of liking and disliking something is much different to the issue of right and wrong.
Yeah, someone could like this story - there's a fair chance that, out of 6 billion people (if they were all English-speaking, literate and mentally sound) someone may like it.
But does that make it good?
No it does not.
This story can be said to be bad in two lights:
1) Majority rules. The large percentage of people will say this is a bad story - popular opinion. Now, of course, there have been many, many cases where the majority have been wrong throughout history, but this is not one of those times.
I'll not go into depth - but the basic things, such as the reader being alone, distanced from the writer, having no emotional stake in the story, it being a non-life-like situation etc etc, will all allow people to build a more objective view of the story. And the vast majority will come to the same conclusion.
2) An objective analysis. Things such as poor spelling, grammar, sentance construction. Confusing / basic / non-existant plotline, pointless phrases, no characterisation, little, poor or no discription of setting, emotions, time, people etc etc.
Run it all through a computer and you get one answer: bad story.
That doesn't, of course, stop anyone from liking it.
But seeing as they couldn't really (as you say) qualify that opinion with any real evidence, it apparently means that opinion is rather null and void, and fairly open to comments along those lines.
*
Right then, onto the whole right / wrong / opinions thing.
You can't have it both ways.
Things are usually divided thusly:
Group 1 will say that there is a strict, black-and-white, right and wrong. Usually religious groups these days, by that's by the by. God says this is right, this is good, god says this is wrong, this is bad, and that's the law, no matter what happens. Hence why
Group 2 go by weight of opinion, a democracy usually - it gets rather complex, but each opinion is measured by to social norms, which are established by the majority rules. A more flexible system, as things adjust as views change - laws are passed in the same way as social norms as implamented, only slightly more stict obviously, as I was trying to point out to you before. It's a sliding grey-scale.
But, you see, whichever group you fall into - there is always good and bad, no matter how it is defined. Often it is defined incorrectly, but it is always there.
And then there's your group, which gives no weighting to opinions, and everyone expressing and (possibly) backing up their views is given equal standing. Sounds fair enough - everyone's equal, everyone gets along, everyone toils in the fields ... oh, maybe that's something else. There's no black and white, and no grey either, everyone's bright green together.
It's like communism ... only worse. Even the commies had an idea of right and wrong - everyone was equal, but some people were still bad, and some people were extremely equal.
People are bad, you see, no matter what. People kill and lie and cheat and steal - and you think there's no good and bad in the world? These people are equals to those who love and smile and help?
What do you really think? That if someone has an opinion that they can kill whoever they like - that's okay? No judgement, no justice, no imposed karma?
Or were you just a little confused?
Either way, I give up - it's all gone a bit Light. Just to say that this story is indeed bad - and such a thing does exist. Whether you like it or not is irrelevant.
What do you think of this story anyway?
Yeah, someone could like this story - there's a fair chance that, out of 6 billion people (if they were all English-speaking, literate and mentally sound) someone may like it.
But does that make it good?
No it does not.
This story can be said to be bad in two lights:
1) Majority rules. The large percentage of people will say this is a bad story - popular opinion. Now, of course, there have been many, many cases where the majority have been wrong throughout history, but this is not one of those times.
I'll not go into depth - but the basic things, such as the reader being alone, distanced from the writer, having no emotional stake in the story, it being a non-life-like situation etc etc, will all allow people to build a more objective view of the story. And the vast majority will come to the same conclusion.
2) An objective analysis. Things such as poor spelling, grammar, sentance construction. Confusing / basic / non-existant plotline, pointless phrases, no characterisation, little, poor or no discription of setting, emotions, time, people etc etc.
Run it all through a computer and you get one answer: bad story.
That doesn't, of course, stop anyone from liking it.
But seeing as they couldn't really (as you say) qualify that opinion with any real evidence, it apparently means that opinion is rather null and void, and fairly open to comments along those lines.
*
Right then, onto the whole right / wrong / opinions thing.
You can't have it both ways.
Things are usually divided thusly:
Group 1 will say that there is a strict, black-and-white, right and wrong. Usually religious groups these days, by that's by the by. God says this is right, this is good, god says this is wrong, this is bad, and that's the law, no matter what happens. Hence why
Group 2 go by weight of opinion, a democracy usually - it gets rather complex, but each opinion is measured by to social norms, which are established by the majority rules. A more flexible system, as things adjust as views change - laws are passed in the same way as social norms as implamented, only slightly more stict obviously, as I was trying to point out to you before. It's a sliding grey-scale.
But, you see, whichever group you fall into - there is always good and bad, no matter how it is defined. Often it is defined incorrectly, but it is always there.
And then there's your group, which gives no weighting to opinions, and everyone expressing and (possibly) backing up their views is given equal standing. Sounds fair enough - everyone's equal, everyone gets along, everyone toils in the fields ... oh, maybe that's something else. There's no black and white, and no grey either, everyone's bright green together.
It's like communism ... only worse. Even the commies had an idea of right and wrong - everyone was equal, but some people were still bad, and some people were extremely equal.
People are bad, you see, no matter what. People kill and lie and cheat and steal - and you think there's no good and bad in the world? These people are equals to those who love and smile and help?
What do you really think? That if someone has an opinion that they can kill whoever they like - that's okay? No judgement, no justice, no imposed karma?
Or were you just a little confused?
Either way, I give up - it's all gone a bit Light. Just to say that this story is indeed bad - and such a thing does exist. Whether you like it or not is irrelevant.
What do you think of this story anyway?
and if there is "no good or bad", would you say Hitler's "hey, let's kill all Jews!" opinion wasn't 'bad'?
Marinky_Kongshi wrote:
> FFS! Is it really that hard to accept that, out of over six billion
> people on this planet, some may actually like this story?
We didn't say no-one would like the story, we said it was crap.
Those are two very different things, something you seem incapable of understanding.
> FFS! Is it really that hard to accept that, out of over six billion
> people on this planet, some may actually like this story?
We didn't say no-one would like the story, we said it was crap.
Those are two very different things, something you seem incapable of understanding.
Page: