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"Embarrassing Problem"

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Sun 08/05/05 at 18:37
Regular
"bot"
Posts: 3,491
OK this has to be theeeeeeeeee most embarassing topic I can ever talk to anyone about.

However, I am really concerned so I will risk the embarassment.

Basically I am really failing to understand why my bum area always smells. PLEASE dont make toilet humour jokes, I am a thoroughly hygenic person and in very good health. However, it always seems as if I have pumped constantly or even soiled my pants with faeces.

Neither of the two are actually the case, and it makes me very very nervous. For example, I work in ASDA behind the till and whenever I stand up to go for my break or whatever, the chair will always stink of poo even if I have only been there for a few minutes. And NO, there is absolutely nothing ''up there'' which may be causing the smell. The worst thing is, its a running joke amongst ALL of my work colleagues and they think I cant see them pulling disgusted faces. It does seem to get worse whenever I sit down. I cannot go in a car with ANYONE, and if I get onto a bus I have to sit on my own at the back with the windows open.

It has actually resorted to me visiting the loo every chance I can and spraying perfume onto my bum. Part of me felt it could be a simple case of sweating, however I highly doubt it because I never actually do sweat around that area :' { I bath myself twice a day and always ensure when I am doing a number 2 that I am completely clean ;' {

Now I know you are all probably laughing your heads off, but please understand this is a REAL problem I have and it is driving me insane with anger.
Sun 08/05/05 at 21:05
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
Glad you contacted a doctor, it's the quickest and easiest thing to do.
No matter how embarrassing you may find it, they deal with this sort of thing endlessly.

I'll admit you got more balls than I have to post here about it.
Kudos to you
Sun 08/05/05 at 21:04
Regular
Posts: 9,995
SnoopDogg wrote:
> Hoju wrote:
> My advice, get some talcum powder and put it down your trousers.
>
> LMAO, Hoju your sound/funnny

I was actually giving advice, I try and help people instead of shouting BS around the forums like you own them when infact nobody likes you.
Sun 08/05/05 at 21:03
Regular
"The definitive tag"
Posts: 3,752
SnoopDogg wrote:
> I dont claim to be a chav, nor do i want to be.

No, you claim to be a "scally" whatever the hell that is.
Sun 08/05/05 at 21:03
Regular
"member of dogg poun"
Posts: 787
Ms NY wrote:
> Memorandum! wrote:
> I have a slight tear around my anus
>
> That must've been one Hell of a big poop.

And if his ass was bleeding, its a big red poop.

EDIT: Why on earth was you 'anus' torn? Are you straight.
Sun 08/05/05 at 21:03
Regular
"cachoo"
Posts: 7,037
Memorandum! wrote:
> I have a slight tear around my anus

That must've been one Hell of a big poop.
Sun 08/05/05 at 21:02
Regular
"member of dogg poun"
Posts: 787
CandyFloss wrote:
> SnoopDogg wrote:
> LMAO, Hoju your sound/funnny
>
> 'sound'....??

Sound means = Cool, anyway i was taking the mick.
Sun 08/05/05 at 21:01
Regular
"member of dogg poun"
Posts: 787
MJ wrote:
> You're
>
> Also I dont personally believe Hoju was attempting to be funny as if
> it is related to sweat it may possibly help. I doubt it is due to
> sweat if you're completely clean however - tissue only? You might
> want to try baby wipes as well as this will ensure you're definatly
> clean. Combine this with talc and you should smell of roses. If not
> then go with the other advice provided in the thread - the doctors.

You what? Is that directed at me?
Sun 08/05/05 at 21:01
Regular
"leaf it aaaaht"
Posts: 7,914
SnoopDogg wrote:
> LMAO, Hoju your sound/funnny

'sound'....??
Sun 08/05/05 at 21:00
Regular
"bot"
Posts: 3,491
Okay I contacted the on-call doctor and asked it was very embarrassing :' {

I have a slight tear around my anus and it is some bleeding when I go to the toilet. I've been given a prescription for some hemorrhoid capsules and some stool softening medication and the problem should be resolved within a few weeks.
Sun 08/05/05 at 21:00
Regular
"member of dogg poun"
Posts: 787
Lard Funk wrote:
> SnoopDogg wrote:
>
> LMAO, Hoju your sound/funnny
>
> I thought the Chavish for funny was 'crease'
>
> You're not a chav at all, poser

I dont claim to be a chav, nor do i want to be.

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