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"Embarrassing Problem"

OK this has to be theeeeeeeeee most embarassing topic I can ever talk to anyone about.

However, I am really concerned so I will risk the embarassment.

Basically I am really failing to understand why my bum area always smells. PLEASE dont make toilet humour jokes, I am a thoroughly hygenic person and in very good health. However, it always seems as if I have pumped constantly or even soiled my pants with faeces.

Neither of the two are actually the case, and it makes me very very nervous. For example, I work in ASDA behind the till and whenever I stand up to go for my break or whatever, the chair will always stink of poo even if I have only been there for a few minutes. And NO, there is absolutely nothing ''up there'' which may be causing the smell. The worst thing is, its a running joke amongst ALL of my work colleagues and they think I cant see them pulling disgusted faces. It does seem to get worse whenever I sit down. I cannot go in a car with ANYONE, and if I get onto a bus I have to sit on my own at the back with the windows open.

It has actually resorted to me visiting the loo every chance I can and spraying perfume onto my bum. Part of me felt it could be a simple case of sweating, however I highly doubt it because I never actually do sweat around that area :' { I bath myself twice a day and always ensure when I am doing a number 2 that I am completely clean ;' {

Now I know you are all probably laughing your heads off, but please understand this is a REAL problem I have and it is driving me insane with anger.

You're

Also I dont personally believe Hoju was attempting to be funny as if it is related to sweat it may possibly help. I doubt it is due to sweat if you're completely clean however - tissue only? You might want to try baby wipes as well as this will ensure you're definatly clean. Combine this with talc and you should smell of roses. If not then go with the other advice provided in the thread - the doctors.

SnoopDogg wrote:

> LMAO, Hoju your sound/funnny

I thought the Chavish for funny was 'crease'

You're not a chav at all, poser

Hoju wrote:
> My advice, get some talcum powder and put it down your trousers.

LMAO, Hoju your sound/funnny

gamesfreak wrote:
> Might solve the problem, whilst giving you community spirit.

And he'll probably develop tinea cruris due to the sweat and itching which he'll experience afterwards :D

'Tis a bit weird that you're perfectly clean (or so you say) and yet stil there is a problem.

I think a trip to the doctors is the only really solution.

Shave your rear and donate the hairs to a nearby orphan farm.

Might solve the problem, whilst giving you community spirit.

When you have a shower/bath do you actually use soap and water in your 'crack' ?

As in, actually use your hand to rub it clean

Alternative to this would be to drink a hell of a lot of warm salty water and then exercise until the feeling to go to the toilet is too strong and simply release it all. Go to the toilet 5 times until you're literally pishing out of your behind. I know it sounds stupid but it should give the same sort of effects as it's clearing out your body.

Serious answer, though you won't want to read it...

Have a colonic irrigation :|

s2pid wrote:
> hahaha really funny michael jacko
>
>
> you been seeing aliens again

You're never going to get it into your head that the initials MJ don't automatically mean Michael Jackson are you?