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"How to beat Juve II"

This time we have to be more sneaky. It's not enough to just shoot Nunez to ensure he won't play, I'm beginning to suspect Rafa would put Nunez's corpse on the bench anyway. So this means we have to be sneaky-like. I suggest luring Nunez out of his house, which he surely shares with other wasters like Richie Partridge, by the use of a cunning No 7 shirt on a string. Nunez will surely think Harry Kewell has been killed, possibly by me. He will then believe the No 7 shirt appearing at his door to be an omen that Rafa wants him play regularly on the right-wing. He will follow the shirt to a hut within which Harry Kewell and Ant will be. Ant will be charged with the responsibility of making sure these two diabolical players cannot be in Turin. This is OK because Ant's favourite players are these two.

Juventus will believe the whole squad will be arriving together. This is not the case. We will have sent Baros and Smicer on a mission, Czech-style. They will have hitchhiked to Turin, and adopted a disguise (put their greasy locks in a hairnet) to ensure they are not detected. Their mission will be to sabotage Pavel Nedved. Pavel will welcome them into his house because they share national allegiance, but his trust will be misplaced. Baros will do all the work because Smicer is good for nothing. He just came along so Baros would have someone to talk to. They will tie Nedved up in the shed.

On the night, Benitez will be confounded by the lack of Nunez and will be forced - listen carefully now - to actually play 90 minutes with at least 1 recognised striker on the pitch. Capello will be stunned, because he had been given to understand that Benitez doesn't like playing with any strikers at all, but a 6 man midfield. He is already confused because Nedved hasn't turned up. He will be SO confused, in fact, that he will bring himself on for Buffon.

Milan Milan Milan, seeing that there is only an old man with a weird fake-tan in the goalmouth, will be inspired to score a hatrick, which is just as well because Miner Dudek will be back in goal, allowing 70 yard efforts from Blasi to go in.

This is how we will beat Juventus.

Vampyr wrote:
> i hate tezeguet so much, he scored that goal which meant italy didnt
> win Euro 2004

i still blame that defeat on Del Piero. He had so many chances to finish off France. worst memory of trezuguet is the bullet he fired at OT to knock united out of the champs league in his monaco days.

yeah he is the pakistan team.

chants
*hes fat hes round he bounces round the ground hes inzumam*

Vampyr wrote:
> yeah but india are poor at football

Cricket as well at the moment. bloody inzamam

***vampyr fact of the day***
--i still hate him--

but thats a good fact from ortega all the same

Ah, so that's why he's so poor.

***ortega fact of the day***

Did you know Trezeguet grew up in argentina?

nice. wish i could sneak in places sneakily.

btw great plan to beat juve, but what you gonna do to prevent more injuries?

I would get angreee at that, but I follow the Czech Republic in international football. I've been to the Sparta Prague stadium, y'know. Nipped in an open gate with my mates during the day. I have some photos somewhere...

Edit: [URL]http://img232.echo.cx/my.php?image=cimg03187uo.jpg[/URL]

There we go. Good day, that one.

yeah but india are poor at football, so i adopted italy ever since WC94, and the divine ponytails pen miss.

Yeah, but he's not Italian, so I'm sure he doesn't feel too bad about it. Neither are you, come to think of it.