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"How to beat Juve II"

This time we have to be more sneaky. It's not enough to just shoot Nunez to ensure he won't play, I'm beginning to suspect Rafa would put Nunez's corpse on the bench anyway. So this means we have to be sneaky-like. I suggest luring Nunez out of his house, which he surely shares with other wasters like Richie Partridge, by the use of a cunning No 7 shirt on a string. Nunez will surely think Harry Kewell has been killed, possibly by me. He will then believe the No 7 shirt appearing at his door to be an omen that Rafa wants him play regularly on the right-wing. He will follow the shirt to a hut within which Harry Kewell and Ant will be. Ant will be charged with the responsibility of making sure these two diabolical players cannot be in Turin. This is OK because Ant's favourite players are these two.

Juventus will believe the whole squad will be arriving together. This is not the case. We will have sent Baros and Smicer on a mission, Czech-style. They will have hitchhiked to Turin, and adopted a disguise (put their greasy locks in a hairnet) to ensure they are not detected. Their mission will be to sabotage Pavel Nedved. Pavel will welcome them into his house because they share national allegiance, but his trust will be misplaced. Baros will do all the work because Smicer is good for nothing. He just came along so Baros would have someone to talk to. They will tie Nedved up in the shed.

On the night, Benitez will be confounded by the lack of Nunez and will be forced - listen carefully now - to actually play 90 minutes with at least 1 recognised striker on the pitch. Capello will be stunned, because he had been given to understand that Benitez doesn't like playing with any strikers at all, but a 6 man midfield. He is already confused because Nedved hasn't turned up. He will be SO confused, in fact, that he will bring himself on for Buffon.

Milan Milan Milan, seeing that there is only an old man with a weird fake-tan in the goalmouth, will be inspired to score a hatrick, which is just as well because Miner Dudek will be back in goal, allowing 70 yard efforts from Blasi to go in.

This is how we will beat Juventus.

I didn't realise Dudek was playing as well as Nunez. Liverpool can't lose, surely.

JFH wrote:
> It will happen in the 33rd minute. You'll see.

If they make it to the 33rd minute. It looks like the Italians have started throwing missiles.

"Buffon is on the floor! Is it a flare? No, it's Nunez. Buffon finds it hilarious that Nunez is playing! He's literally crying with laughter! Nunez! NUNEZ, 1 YARD OUT, IN THE CLEAR! NUN...ez hits the corner flag. At the other end. Well, that took skill."

It will happen in the 33rd minute. You'll see.

Could very well happen, Capello and the rest of the team will be too busy rolling on the floor laughing at the sheer sight of Nunez on the pitch allowing him to score a easy tap-in, after 3 or so attempts of course

You can't have my teeth, I've already lost them due to a similar bet.

I bet you he doesn't. £10. I know where you live, I'll come and collect. If you don't have the money, I'll take your teeth.

Just you wait, Nunez will score.

It's all screwed. My perfect plan. We've lost.

Antonio Nunez starts on the right.

Capello: "Boys, I have heard. They're starting Nunez. All attacks down the left. Huzzah. Oh, who cares, break out the bubbly now. Has Nedved got out of his shed yet?"

Nedved:"...Yes."

yeah that justs adds to the list of offences punishable by death.

other people who have offended include:
oliver neuville
klaus topmoller
jose morinho
milan have mde millions of offences.

and wenger