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"How to beat Juve II"

This time we have to be more sneaky. It's not enough to just shoot Nunez to ensure he won't play, I'm beginning to suspect Rafa would put Nunez's corpse on the bench anyway. So this means we have to be sneaky-like. I suggest luring Nunez out of his house, which he surely shares with other wasters like Richie Partridge, by the use of a cunning No 7 shirt on a string. Nunez will surely think Harry Kewell has been killed, possibly by me. He will then believe the No 7 shirt appearing at his door to be an omen that Rafa wants him play regularly on the right-wing. He will follow the shirt to a hut within which Harry Kewell and Ant will be. Ant will be charged with the responsibility of making sure these two diabolical players cannot be in Turin. This is OK because Ant's favourite players are these two.

Juventus will believe the whole squad will be arriving together. This is not the case. We will have sent Baros and Smicer on a mission, Czech-style. They will have hitchhiked to Turin, and adopted a disguise (put their greasy locks in a hairnet) to ensure they are not detected. Their mission will be to sabotage Pavel Nedved. Pavel will welcome them into his house because they share national allegiance, but his trust will be misplaced. Baros will do all the work because Smicer is good for nothing. He just came along so Baros would have someone to talk to. They will tie Nedved up in the shed.

On the night, Benitez will be confounded by the lack of Nunez and will be forced - listen carefully now - to actually play 90 minutes with at least 1 recognised striker on the pitch. Capello will be stunned, because he had been given to understand that Benitez doesn't like playing with any strikers at all, but a 6 man midfield. He is already confused because Nedved hasn't turned up. He will be SO confused, in fact, that he will bring himself on for Buffon.

Milan Milan Milan, seeing that there is only an old man with a weird fake-tan in the goalmouth, will be inspired to score a hatrick, which is just as well because Miner Dudek will be back in goal, allowing 70 yard efforts from Blasi to go in.

This is how we will beat Juventus.

Stryke wrote:
> But Rosicky's already signed for the 'Pool :) Got to keep the Czech
> contingent up.

He's says he is moving to Spurs, destroys them from the inside and Liverpool snap him up on a free. :)

Lil Bro wrote:
> Spurs 1 - 0 Man Utd
>
> Don't ever forget that.
>
> And yes, Stryke that may work. All you need now is Mikey. And Joey.
>
> And Rosicky, but he's ours :D

--

Mikey might not be on his way back now, after a superb match and a standing ovation from the Madrid faithful. Joey as well, too valuable for Chelsea.

But Rosicky's already signed for the 'Pool :) Got to keep the Czech contingent up.

Thank-ee

Well obviously it isn't as we came away with a point thanks to our magic goal line moving trick :-D

Although granted 'beating' us is the only glory you'll get so i'll let you have it :-D

Unless the linesman is blind.

Pfft, can't be bothered with another argument about it, but we beat you :D

When a ball travels two yards over a goal line, it's a goal.

Simple as ;)

Lil Bro wrote:
> Spurs 1 - 0 Man Utd


Hmmm when did this scoreline occur? Not this season anyway :-D

Spurs 1 - 0 Man Utd

Don't ever forget that.

And yes, Stryke that may work. All you need now is Mikey. And Joey.

And Rosicky, but he's ours :D

Ah, but you might have to rest some players for the next fixture against the true european champions, Spurs.

Ahahaha.

GO 'POOL!

etc