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"AHHH!"

Have you ever had the feeling that all your internal organs are trying to escape your body via your mouth an anus?

No? Well I just have.

Now, I've been hit in the balls before. Bad tackle, (no pun intended), during a footbal match. Trying to be clever on one of those balance beems. Having two evil older sisters. But, oh. My. God, how none of that compares to the pain I just went through.

Her: "It was an accident. I'm so sorry."

Me - through gritted teeth: "Really? Then why are you laughing so hard that you're crying?"

Bloody women. They're all evil. Don't take your eyes off them for a second.

phi11ip wrote:
>
> I just searched Google pictures for 'micropenis'.

Trying to find a support group then?

English_Bloke wrote:
> Bloody women. They're all evil.

The Bloke speaketh the truth, there's not one woman on this forum who wouldn't have at least smiled reading your post.
SADISTS!

phi11ip wrote:
> I just got a bump on my head.
>
> Basically my room is down the end of a 10m long corridoor. The plan
> was for me to run down it and launch myself through my door and onto
> the bed.
>
> Unfortunately the top of the doorframe decided it wanted to play too
> so instead of me flying onto the bed, I smacked my head and collapsed
> on the floor at the bottom of the bed.
>
> It was one of those, "Oh crap that hurts, but it's funny, but it
> hurts," moments.

Poor door frame ! :)

So, it's not just me firing blanks then?

I just got a bump on my head.

Basically my room is down the end of a 10m long corridoor. The plan was for me to run down it and launch myself through my door and onto the bed.

Unfortunately the top of the doorframe decided it wanted to play too so instead of me flying onto the bed, I smacked my head and collapsed on the floor at the bottom of the bed.

It was one of those, "Oh crap that hurts, but it's funny, but it hurts," moments.

To reply

1a. Oh

and

1b. Are you ok?

Paradox: wrote:
> phi11ip wrote:
>
> Dammit, you got the pre-edited version. The version that I noticed I
> phrased quite badly!
>
> Yeah, you should kick yourself atop a flamingo.

And to answer you question, no, and kinda.

Crazi col wrote:
> "Normally, the length of a newborn boy's penis is between 2.8 to
> 4.2 centimeters with a circumference of 0.9 to 1.3 centimeters. This
> measurement is taken by carefully stretching the penis and putting it into
> Michael Jackson's sick paedophile mouth"


:-(

phi11ip wrote:

> Dammit, you got the pre-edited version. The version that I noticed I
> phrased quite badly!

Yeah, you should kick yourself atop a flamingo.

"Normally, the length of a newborn boy's penis is between 2.8 to 4.2 centimeters with a circumference of 0.9 to 1.3 centimeters. This measurement is taken by carefully stretching the penis and measuring from the tip of the penis to the base of the penis."

Does someone get paid for that?